Midlife Crisis

by La Jill Hunt

  “Again, not my decision, Syl. I didn’t give Jordan that dog.” Garry shook his head.

  “It seems to me that when it comes to Jordan, you really don’t have a say so in any decisions that are made.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” Garry said, putting the throw pillows onto the sofa of the sitting area in their bedroom. It was where he slept nightly. Although they still shared the master bedroom, there was no way she was going to allow him back into their bed any time soon. Garry had enough sense not to even ask. When their home was first built, he didn’t understand why Sylvia was so bent on having the small den area in their room, along with the fireplace. She knew that he was grateful for it now. It was now his “room.”

  “Jordan didn’t want to go to the academy with Peyton, so you allowed her to enroll in public school. Jordan doesn’t want what we have for dinner, so you let her eat junk food in her room. What Jordan wants is what Jordan gets. And if you think for one moment Peyton doesn’t see that, you’d better think again.”

  “Sylvia, it’s not like that at all. I’m just trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible. She is going through a lot right now. Jordan just lost her mother. You of all people should realize how she feels. When your mother died—”

  “Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare compare my mother’s death and how I dealt with it to this situation! One has nothing to do with the other.”

  “I’m not saying that at all. I am just asking that you be a little more empathetic because it’s not easy for her.”

  “For her? It’s not easy for me or Peyton. Or have you forgotten that our lives have been disrupted too? Do you even care about how we feel or what we’re dealing with? Oh, wait. It’s only about Jordan now.”

  “It’s not all about Jordan! It’s about us as a family. We agreed that we would work through this situation together, and damn it, that’s what I’m trying to do. What more do you want from me, Sylvia? Do you want me to leave? Would that make it easier? Right now, in this moment, it’s not about anyone else but you. So tell me: what do you want?”

  Sylvia stared at him, furious that he had put their family in this situation. Her life was one big ball of confusion, and there was so much going on that she sometimes didn’t know if she was coming or going. She needed some space to think and some air to breathe. She wanted to run away and never come back.

  No, what she wanted was her life back—the one she had two weeks ago when she was married to the man of her dreams, planning their vow renewal, and looked forward to what their future held. Now, within the blink of an eye and a forty-five second phone call in the middle of the night, it was gone, and she didn’t know how to get her dream life back. Maybe that was all it was: a dream, a façade, a fictitious realm that didn’t exist because she truly didn’t know the man she’d married. So really, how could he be the man she thought he was? The man she married would never cheat on her, betray her, or break her heart the way that it had been broken.

  “Yes.” Sylvia looked into his eyes and told him, “Yes, I want you to leave.”

  “What?” Garry’s eyes widened, and she could see the hurt in them.

  “Leave. And take your daughter with you.”

  “Sylvia, please don’t do this. In all the years we’ve been together, I made one mistake. One. I have been a good husband, a good friend, and a good father, but I made one mistake. You want to throw all of this away over one mistake?”

  “If you were truly my friend, Garry, you would have come to me when you first made the mistake, and I would have forgiven you. But you didn’t. Instead, you chose to lie to me for sixteen years. You lied to your wife and your daughter for over a decade and a half. Think about it. Does that truly make you a good husband or a good father?”

  Sylvia didn’t bother wiping the tears from her face as she turned to walk out of the bedroom. Before leaving, she looked back at Garry, who was still staring at her. She was surprised to see that he was also crying, and for a second, she felt satisfied that in that moment, he felt the pain that she was feeling.

  Later that morning, after Garry had left for work and both girls were gone to school, Sylvia sat at the kitchen table across from Aunt Connie, drinking a cup of coffee.

  “Aunt Connie, I know you hate walking up and down the stairs, so I’m gonna move you into the bedroom down here soon,” she told her aunt.

  Aunt Connie looked up from the Sudoku puzzle book she was writing in and said, “Child, I’m fine. The only time I go up there is when it’s time to go to bed anyway. Besides, it would be too much work taking all that stuff Jordan has crammed into that room up them steps.”

  “Jordan won’t be in that room much longer. She and Garry are moving out.”

  “Moving out? Why?”

  “I told him I want him to leave. I can’t deal with this. I thought I could, but it’s just too much.”

  “Deal with what?”

  Sylvia looked at her aunt like she was crazy. “You’re trying to be funny.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Deal with all this.” Sylvia tossed her arms into the air in exaggeration. “Garry, Jordan, his affair . . .”

  As if she knew her name was going to be called next, Gyspy came running into the kitchen and hid under the table.

  “This damn dog! This is exactly what I’m talking about. Jordan promised that the dog would be in the crate while she was at school. Now it’s running around the house, pissing and crapping wherever she wants to. And who’s gonna be the one to clean it up? Not Princess Jordan. Nooooo, that will be me!”

  “Sylvia, calm down. I told Jordan to leave Gypsy out of the crate. It’s not fair for that dog to be locked up all day, especially while I’m here in the house. And for the past couple of days, I’ve been letting her out to handle her business, so you really shouldn’t have had to clean anything up. Jordan and I walk the dog every day when she gets home from school.”

  “You and Jordan?”

  “Yes, me and Jordan. Well, Jordan and I. We do.”

  “Aunt Connie, I have never seen you and Jordan out walking the dog.”

  “That’s because you’re gone to pick up Peyton and running errands. Jordan gets home from school around that time. I make her some food, she eats, and we talk. After that, we take the dog out.”

  Sylvia frowned. “So, you feed Jordan dinner when she gets home from school?”

  “Yeah, why wouldn’t I? Dinner is already ready. You know that. And the child is starving when she gets here. She eats lunch at eleven in the morning. Y’all don’t get back to the house until almost six o’clock and don’t eat until seven. That’s too long for that girl to wait.”

  “I didn’t know,” Sylvia said, surprised by what her aunt had revealed about Jordan’s afternoon schedule.

  “Well, now you know. So the dog problem is fixed. What else is it that you can’t handle?”

  “The fact that Garry caters to Jordan’s every need. She gets everything she wants, but when it comes to Peyton, he is like an armed guard at a women’s maximum security prison. Everything is: ‘No, Peyton. That’s not for you, Peyton. You’re not ready, Peyton.’ It’s not fair at all. Peyton is an honor student, a star athlete, and she’s never been in trouble. When I went to register Jordan for school, you should’ve seen this girl’s folder. She has been to detention more times this past year than they can even count, her grades are barely passing, and yet they reward her with a car?”

  “I admit, Jordan does seem a bit spoiled, but I think she is just like most typical teenagers, and she gets away with what she can. She told me she always had to go to detention because she went to school late every day. Her mother managed a bar and didn’t come home until almost four in the morning most nights, and Jordan would make her tea, and they would talk until they both fell asleep. I know you think it seems that she’s had a good life, which she has, but so has Peyton in her own way. They are sisters, but you can’t compare the two. That’s like comparing you to Janelle. You got all the g
ood grades, but Janelle was the party girl with all the cool friends.”

  “Garry thinks that this is just one simple ‘mistake’ as he calls it, and that it’s fixable. It’s more than that. It’s a lie. I thought Garry and I had the kind of marriage that would not accept a lie. He’s been lying to me for all these years. What else has he been lying about? Does he have a set of twin sons that are gonna come popping up on my doorstep any day now? I don’t know if I can trust him again. How can I stay married to a man that I don’t trust? That’s what love is all about.”

  “You’re right about that. But it’s also about loving someone unconditionally.”

  “I do love Garry unconditionally.”

  “You can’t say you love someone unconditionally until you’ve actually gone through some conditions. You always said that your entire marriage has been perfect. Well, now this is your storm. Are you gonna hunker down and weather it together or run away from it?”

  Sylvia listened to the words of wisdom that her aunt was saying. She didn’t know what to do. Never in a million years would she have ever believed that Garry would betray her like this.

  “I don’t even know how to start fixing this.” Sylvia threw her hands up in frustration. Her aunt was making it seem like she was being unreasonable, which she knew she wasn’t. Most women in Sylvia’s situation wouldn’t even be having this conversation because they wouldn’t have done what she’d done. Instead, they’d be talking to a divorce attorney, or better yet, a shrink. But here she was, sitting across the table from the closest thing she had to a mother, so she listened to what Aunt Connie had to say and prayed it was going to not only makes sense, but be enlightening.

  “You start by praying and asking God to heal your heart. That’s the most important thing. Your marriage can’t be healed if your heart isn’t right. And even if you and Garry go your separate ways, you still need to heal. A wise man by the name of Al once asked me ‘Connie, how can you mend a broken heart? How can you stop the rain from falling down? Tell me, how can you stop the sun from shining? What makes the world go ’round?’ and I told him, ‘Al, love and happiness, something that can make you do wrong, make you do right . . .”

  “Aunt Connie, please stop. Those are all lyrics to Al Green songs. You are crazy. As a matter of fact, have you had your medicine today?” Sylvia stood up and walked over to the fridge, reaching on up top and passing her aunt the small basket that held her bottles of daily pills.

  No luck on the enlightenment, she thought to herself.

  “I don’t need no pills.” Aunt Connie took the basket from her and set it on the table. “What I need is for you to really think and pray and know that Garry is a good man, even though what he did was wrong. Hiding and lying only makes a bad situation worse. He knows that. But pray and seek godly counseling in this before you walk away from something that you say you can’t handle. You’re right; you can’t handle it on your own. But with God on your side, you can go all the way. If the two of y’all want it, I lay my money on it. Starting today, you’re going all the way!”

  Sylvia reached into the basket and quickly opened the bottles of pills, pouring them into her aunt’s hands. She smiled as she watched her mother’s sister toss them into her mouth and finish her cup of coffee. She knew that her aunt was truly crazy, certifiably so, but she also knew that she was one of the wisest, strongest, and smartest women that she had ever known, and Sylvia was elated to have her in their house. After all, even with her plagiarized song lyrics, what Aunt Connie said really did make sense.

  Janelle

  Janelle was lonely. Not only had she not heard from Jarvis, but it had been days since she had spoken with Titus, although they had texted one another a few times. She missed speaking with him. She missed the intimate conversations and the laughter, the feeling of contentment when they shared their days with one another.

  It had been a long week, and it was almost seven o’clock before she finally left work. She called Nivea, who didn’t answer the phone. She spoke briefly to Sylvia, who was still dealing with the reality of Garry and his daughter. She was worried about her sister, but she knew after their last conversation that if she pressed, Sylvia would shut her out.

  Thinking she would be spending her Friday night home alone, she decided to order some Chinese food and catch up on reality TV. Just as she pulled into the parking lot of the takeout restaurant, her phone rang. She looked down at the caller ID and smiled.

  “Well, hello.”

  “Hey, you,” Jarvis greeted her. “What are you doing?”

  “About to stop and grab some food. What are you doing?”

  “Trying to see you. I know it’s last minute, but if you’re up for dinner and a movie, I’d love to see you. Can you meet me at Kirby’s in an hour?”

  Dinner at Kirby’s, one of her favorite steak houses, with Jarvis trumped her previous plans with beef and broccoli and the Housewives of Atlanta. Janelle made it home in record time, took a quick shower, changed, and was walking through the door of the restaurant within fifty-five minutes of talking to Jarvis.

  “You look great.” He smiled and stood up when she arrived at the table where he was already seated. “Then again, you always do.”

  “I can say the same thing about you, sir.” Janelle put her arms around his neck, and he hugged her tight. She closed her eyes as she inhaled the scent of his cologne. When he released her, she took notice of the jeans he wore with a Polo sweater and boots. He was also wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses that made him look even more sophisticated and attractive.

  “So, what’s been going on?” he asked after they placed their drink and appetizer orders.

  They made small talk. She was tempted to ask him about Sade, but she didn’t, reminding herself that Jarvis was not her man. Asking him about another female would be crossing a boundary that she may regret. Instead, she focused on enjoying the meal and the bottle of wine they shared.

  After the check was paid, Jarvis looked at his watch and said, “We have about twenty minutes to get to the theater.”

  “I’m ready when you are.”

  They stood up, and he helped Janelle put her coat on.

  She asked, “Do you want to drop one of the cars off at your place on the way?”

  He smiled. “Does that mean we are going back to my place after the movie?”

  “Do you want me to come back to your place?” she asked coyly.

  “We don’t even have to go to the movies if you don’t want to.” Jarvis raised an eyebrow at her.

  “I want to,” she said.

  “Want to what? Go straight to my place?” he asked, and Janelle easily saw the lust in his eyes.

  “No, go to the movies.” She laughed. Janelle knew that she was going to go back to Jarvis’s place the moment he called and asked her to dinner and a movie. She was horny, and Jarvis probably was too, which was most likely the reason for his last-minute request for the date. One thing Janelle knew was that men are creatures of habit, and Jarvis was no different. He never called at the last minute and asked her out on a date, so chances were, he’d had another chick cancel at the last minute and decided to hit her up to see if she was game. Heck, it had been almost a month since she’d had some good dick. Why not? But she was entitled to a movie first.

  To her dismay and to Jarvis’s delight, they hit traffic as soon as they left the restaurant and entered the highway toward his place. There was no way they would make the movie on time. When they finally pulled into his driveway, he got out of the car and walked to his front door.

  “Where are you going?” she asked him.

  “The movie started fifteen minutes ago. We missed it.”

  “How convenient?” Janelle said sarcastically as she followed him into his house. She removed her coat and sat on the sofa.

  “You want something to drink?” Jarvis called from the kitchen.

  “No, I’m good,” she told him.

  He came in and sat beside her. In a perfect world, Ja
rvis would have taken her into his arms, held her tight, and asked her about her week, or talked about what was going on in her life. Instead, he leaned over and kissed her for a little while, then stood up and reached for her. There was a noticeable bulge in the crotch of his pants.

  “Come on. Let’s go upstairs,” he said.

  Creature of habit, Janelle thought as she followed him upstairs.

  * * *

  A couple of hours later, as she was driving home, Janelle still felt as if something was missing. The sex with Jarvis was great, and she had no complaints. She was physically satisfied, but she still felt empty and wasn’t ready to go home. It was after midnight. She didn’t want to go to a bar or a club. She remembered her gym bag on the back seat and hoped a good workout would help release some of the frustration she was still feeling.

  After changing clothes, she got in the zone, running on the treadmill to the sound of DMX until she was dripping with sweat. She walked over to grab a bottle of water out of the machine and noticed a guy waving at her from one of the weight benches. Just as she was about to ignore him, thinking he was some creep trying to holler, she recognized him and waved back, then walked over.

  “Hey, Sherrod, right?”

  “Hey, Janelle, right?” he said, shifting his body so that now he was facing her. “I tried speaking to you earlier, but you didn’t see me. You were in your own little world.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I do.” She laughed. “I get in my zone, and nothing else matters.”

  “What are you listening to?” he asked.

  Janelle realized her headphones were still playing and they were loud. “Oh, a little DMX.”

  “Hardcore workout music. I hear ya.”

  “And what you got playing?”

  “John Legend.”

  “John Legend?” Janelle literally laughed out loud.

  “I listen to mellow music when I lift.” He shrugged. “I don’t like to be too hype. Lifting is a process.”

  “A process, huh?” She giggled. “Sounds kinda soft to me, kinda like those biceps.”