Tommy stood in front of her, his hands at his sides, a stony look on his face. The snow was collecting in his hair.
“I told him we weren’t seeing each other, that we were just friends, but he laughed and yanked me into his apartment. I was too scared to fight. Other people were around. I thought he might tell if I made a scene. I didn’t want you to get in trouble with my dad. You know he would have had you kicked off the team or maybe out of school.”
She’d worked hard to block the next part out of her mind. She had to, for Alex. “He led me to the couch and sat down next to me. He was too close.” Her mind drifted back, and she remembered how hairy his leg felt against her skin. She swallowed, determined to finish. “Before I knew what was happening, he was trying to kiss me. He pushed me down. He was so strong; I couldn’t get up. He wedged his knee between my legs and ripped my shorts. I tried to fight him off, but he held my wrists. I barely had time to register what was happening before it was over. He stood up, tucked himself back in those drawstring shorts you all used to wear, and threw me at the door.” She wouldn’t tell him what Ryan had said. Tell Tommy thanks for the pussy, but I’ve had better.
Tommy stood with his feet spread, and a muscle in his jaw flashed over and over. “Are you telling me he raped you?”
“I went to your apartment, but you didn’t answer. I didn’t know what to do, so I went home. I told your mom what happened. Not about us but about Ryan.”
He jerked both hands through his hair and spun around, looking at the sky as the snow fell in curtains around him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Your mom told me to take a shower and change my clothes. I wanted to call the police, but she and my dad didn’t think it was a good idea. My dad said he’d handle it, that there wasn’t any need to involve the police.”
“Son of a bitch!” His controlled and deadly tone confirmed she’d done the right thing in not telling him. He’d have done something neither one of them could take back.
“I don’t know if they didn’t believe me or if they didn’t want to affect the football program. It didn’t matter because the shower rinsed all the evidence away. I scrubbed my skin until it was raw. Your mom took my clothes. I was in shock. I let her give me a sleeping pill and put me to bed. I was too ashamed to call you, and once I thought about how you’d react, I knew I couldn’t tell you.”
The muscles in his neck stood out as the color drained from his face. “I’d have killed him.”
“I know. I couldn’t let him hurt you, too.”
Tommy stormed away, his hands fisted in his hair.
“Tommy?” she called.
He only waved her off. “Get in the truck. I need a minute.”
“But—”
“Get in the truck!”
She did as he asked when she realized he wasn’t coming back until he was good and ready. She crawled inside and, using a paper napkin she found in the side of the door, blew her nose and wiped her face. She watched him stride along the road, kicking snow as he went, until he disappeared in the distance. She couldn’t have felt more drained if she’d run a marathon with a ten-gallon drum on her back. Her eyes felt puffy and her skin tight. Her body shivered and her teeth chattered, but not from the cold. The truck’s heat was going full blast; the aftereffects of telling her secret were as bad as the anxiety of holding it in.
She felt a huge stab of relief when the wipers cleared the snow from the window and she recognized Tommy’s form off in the sea of white. His hair was crusted with snow, and his cheeks were a bright, unnatural red. He brought the cold into the cab when he ripped open the door and climbed inside. He leaned his head against the headrest and clenched and unclenched his frozen fingers. His eyes remained closed. She wondered if he’d speak. Minutes ticked by as he sat and took huge breaths through his nose.
“I’m not saying I don’t believe you,” he finally said. He twisted his head around and stared at her with vacant eyes. His color was returning to normal “You need to understand I’m not calling you a liar.”
Gretchen swallowed and tried to stem her galloping heart. “Okay.”
“I want to believe you. Everything you’ve said makes sense—your disappearance, my mother’s behavior—but one detail just doesn’t add up.”
She knew it was coming. She knew they weren’t anywhere near the finish line of the conversation she’d started. “I know what you’re going to say.”
“If he did what you said he did, if he raped you, then why in the hell did you marry him?”
Chapter 28
Kevin stepped inside the hanger of the Hailey Municipal Airport and closed his eyes. The smell of aviation fuel and motor oil, the permeated scent of cigarette smoke, the metallic taste of the hanger walls sent him back a few years. That place, those feelings, had made him long for the future he envisioned: hours of every day spent in the air, in and around the clouds, hovering over towns and cities, a bird’s eye view of life from the best seat in the house. God’s house.
From the lounge, he heard the low, raspy voices of the pilots and mechanics who, day in and day out, found refuge and employment in the field they loved. The men and women who never understood how some people—other people—could live their whole lives without wanting to conquer the skies and experience the joy of holding over a thousand pounds of aluminum alloys suspended in mid-air. Kevin felt the open arms of his past and future embrace him as he stepped inside.
“Well, well, well. Look who’s back from the big city.” Johnny Delt sat with his feet atop the metal desk he called home. “I was wondering when you’d show your ugly mug. You handing out autographs?”
“I don’t know, Johnny. You collecting signatures from out-of-work commercial pilots?”
“It’s a tough business.” The chair creaked when his feet hit the concrete floor. “I never lied to you about that.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“What excuse did they give?”
“Oh, you know the drill.” Kevin leaned on the door jam and crossed his arms. Johnny wasn’t someone who’d shake his hand or even stand up. The fact that his feet were on the floor was as big an acknowledgment as a bear hug. “Budget cuts, diminishing profits, last one hired and all. Doesn’t ease the sting.”
“You jonesing for some airtime?”
Not until the words were out of Johnny’s mouth did Kevin realize that half of his restlessness was from not having flown in weeks. How had he managed to overlook the powerful pull of flight in his blood? Ironic, really, since his father had been killed in an air crash. “Now that you mention it...”
“I’d love to give you a go.” Johnny jerked his head toward the lounge where two men in jeans and one in overalls sat on an olive-green couch. “No one I trust more in the pit, but a storm’s brewing over the pass that’s going to slam us good by morning.”
“Another time, then.” Kevin moved to the metal chair opposite Johnny’s desk. “I’m looking for Skip.”
“Ol’ boy’s around here somewhere. I hear you want to take over for Manny?”
“Thinking about it. If he’s going to retire.”
“I’d say he’s damn near out the door. You trying to push him the rest of the way out?”
“Maybe.”
Johnny’s cackling laugh sent the corners of Kevin’s mouth north. “I thought you wanted big aircraft and fancy skies?”
“I’ll settle for big air and familiar skies. Big aircraft’s not as personal. Certainly not as much fun.”
“If you can’t have fun at work, what’s the point?”
“Exactly.” Kevin nodded and glanced around the office. Johnny’s picture collection of aircraft flown in and out of the tiny hub hung in frames along three walls. Kevin noticed a new shot. “That’s new.” He stood up to admire the Cessna and whistled. “Sweet. When did this thing blow through town?”
“’Bout a month ago. Smoothest ride I’ve ever seen here.”
“Whose is it?” Kevin admired the private prop plane he knew t
o cost upwards of eight hundred thousand.
“Some lawyer out of Denver.”
“What’s a fancy lawyer doing in these parts?”
“That Golden girl got caught in the crosshairs of the school superintendent out of Westmoreland. Her big money boyfriend flew in the fancy lawyer.”
“Wait. Is Olivia’s big money boyfriend now her fiancé?”
Johnny lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. Guy I’m talking about bought the old Cuthbert place.”
Kevin’s mind was racing. Lyle’s girlfriend’s brother had money and lots of it if he could fly an attorney down from Denver for a few hours. “His sister lives there now. She’s dating my brother.”
“Oh, yeah? Hummm. I’ve seen her around. Pretty little brunette.”
“She’s got Lyle by the balls. He didn’t say anything about her being from money.”
A knock on Johnny’s office door had them both turning around. Skip Dorsey stood in the doorway, not a hair over five-three. “You looking for me?”
“How’d you guess?” Kevin asked.
“Got a call from Manny this morning. He’s making it official. He’s done. His wife’s taken a turn for the worse, and she needs him home.”
“Well, I’m sorry to hear about his wife.”
“You still interested in dusting?”
“That’s why I’m here.”
“Good.” Skipper pointed at Johnny’s desk. “You still got that information on the ag aviation training facilities?”
Johnny pulled out a file drawer. “Sure, it’s in here somewhere.”
“You’re going to need to get your ag training. Cheapest and quickest place for you since you’ve got your commercial license is in Louisiana.”
“Louisiana? There’s nothing closer?”
“Closer, maybe, but trust me when I say cheapest doesn’t mean cheap. You can finish the course in three to four weeks, but you can count on spending ten grand.”
“Ten thousand dollars? For four weeks of ag training?”
“It’s a specialty market. You get the training, you can work anywhere.”
Kevin blew out a breath. Where in the hell was he going to come up with ten grand?
“Got it right here.” Johnny handed Kevin a brochure.
Kevin glanced at the glossy brochure with a picture of a bright yellow, single-engine two-seater. It looked like something he’d see at an air show. “Okay, I’ll take a look at this. If I commit to the ag training, can you guarantee you won’t give the job away?”
“As long as you pass, kid, it’s yours.”
Passing would be the easy part. He’d always been good at school. Coming up with ten thousand dollars and telling Shiloh he was going to Louisiana for four weeks had him sweating. “I’ll pass.” He stood and shook Skip’s hand. “I’ve got to talk to Shi and move some money around, but I’ll take care of the training.”
“Glad to have you aboard.”
Chapter 29
Tommy hadn’t meant to speak with bitter resentment. He’d tried to remain detached and unaffected, but as he watched Gretchen shake and sniffle as she tried to gather her wits, he knew it couldn’t be helped. He was frozen on the outside while his insides had begun a painful, debilitating thaw.
Questions swirled, the answers pointing in different, divergent directions. The snow was gathering too quickly; he knew he should put the truck into gear and try to maneuver down the road because their window to escape was closing, but all he could focus on was Gretchen and the explanation that would either prove her a liar or crush him.
She said, “I was determined to hide from you. I knew you were upset with me for disappearing, but I thought it was the right thing to do. I was trying to protect you.”
“By marrying him?”
“When I realized I was pregnant, I went to your mom. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want the baby, of course, but I couldn’t have an abortion. I knew it wasn’t yours. We’d been so careful.” She blew her nose on a napkin she’d crumpled. “We went round and round about options. They went so far as to make an appointment, but I just couldn’t kill an innocent child. I tried. I knew it was the best thing for everyone, but I couldn’t do it.” She wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “Your mother was furious. Partly in retaliation—I think—my father arranged the marriage. He said if I wouldn’t terminate the pregnancy, I had to marry Ryan. You’d quit the team by then, and his hopes for a championship were fading. I think he threatened to go to the police to get Ryan to agree.”
“Why did you agree? Why would you marry the man who’d raped you?”
“I didn’t think I had any options. I had no money, no degree, nothing. My dad made it crystal clear that if I didn’t marry Ryan, he’d toss me out, and I’d be on my own. I knew I couldn’t support myself and a child alone.”
Stupid! He wanted to shout. How could you be so stupid! “You married a rapist to save the football program?”
“I married him to save my child. We planned to divorce as soon as the baby was born. We never lived together, he never touched me again, and he’s been out of my life…for a long time.”
Tommy turned his head away when she stared at him, her eyes searching. He didn’t know what he felt; he couldn’t describe his feelings of hurt, betrayal, shock, and confusion. No words seemed to encapsulate his feelings. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I don’t understand how you could have gone through with the wedding. How could you think raising a baby alone would be worse than marrying the man who raped you and letting him off scot-free? He could have raped someone else. He could have raped a whole lot of girls. He could still be doing it.”
“I was eighteen,” she said, her voice deplete of emotion. “I wouldn’t make the same decisions now that I made then. I wouldn’t marry him. I would stand up to our parents, leave home, and make something of my life by myself. Ironically, that’s what I’ve had to do.”
“But you wouldn’t have told me.”
She paused, and he knew her answer. “No. Of all the decisions that were made for me, that one was mine. I can’t imagine a scenario where telling you would have done anything but gotten you into trouble and caused you pain.”
“You don’t think I was in pain? You left me in the dark, wondering for years if you were okay, wondering what I’d said or done that made you leave without a word.”
“I’m not sure telling you, under any circumstance, would have been in either of our best interests.”
“You wouldn’t have been alone.”
“I had his child, Tommy. You said yourself he’s the spitting image of Ryan. Could you have stayed with me, would you have stayed with me and raised him?”
An interesting question and one she’d made moot. “We’ll never know, will we?”
“No, we won’t.” She used the napkin to swipe at the tears on her cheeks before taking a deep breath and blowing it out. “So, what now?”
Tommy glanced around, surprised to find the snow piled at least three inches high on his window. “I’d like to say we go home and let this sit for awhile, but we’ve waited too long. It’s been cold for months, and the snow is sticking.”
“What do we do? Sit here until it melts?”
“It’s not melting anytime soon.” When he flicked on the wipers, his hands balled into fists. If they didn’t find refuge soon, they’d be stuck in the truck for days. “I’ve got a friend with a cabin just around the bend. We should be able to make it there.”
“Wait.” The strangled sound of her voice didn’t help his mood. “We’re stuck here?”
“Looks that way.”
“If we can make it around the bend, surely we can make it down. We aren’t even at the top.”
“We’re at almost ten thousand feet. Going down means going around treacherous turns on sheets of powder and ice. I’m not going to die trying when there’s a cabin a hundred yards away.”
“But—”
“No buts, Gretchen. This time, this one time, I get to make
the decision. We’re staying here.”
Chapter 30
Shiloh bolted out of the car, slammed her door, and marched across the pebbled ground to Lyle’s front door. When her heel wedged between two potato rocks, she yelped and yanked her foot free, leaving the shoe behind like a dead soldier on the battlefield. She tugged off her other shoe and hobbled into the grass, carefully navigating her way to the front door. She pounded on the door, grateful to have an inanimate object to take her aggression out upon. She loved the way the horse head doorknocker leapt and crashed with every thump. “Horse’s ass is more like it.” On the drive from the bank to the cabin, she’d found her temper.
“You looking for Lyle?” a woman’s voice called from behind her.
Shiloh whipped around to find a woman with long dark hair carrying what looked like a food container. She wore a cautious smile along with jeans and a heavy down coat. “Kevin, his idiot brother.”
When the woman walked closer, Shiloh realized the container was full of soup and the woman was pretty. Very pretty. “I don’t think he’s here. His car’s gone.”
“Oh.” Shiloh glanced at the empty drive. “I guess I should have realized.” She stuck out her hand. “I’m Shiloh Woodward, the idiot’s wife.”
“I figured. I’m Erica. Lyle’s…we’re…”
“I know who you are. Kevin told me Lyle has a girlfriend. About time if you ask me.”
Erica’s head tilted. “He hasn’t had girlfriends?”
“Well, yeah, but Kevin said you two are pretty serious. That’s new for Lyle.”
The woman tried but failed to hold back a smug smile. “Well…”
“Looks like neither of them are home.” Shiloh glanced behind Erica. “Where’d you come from?”
“I live across the river. There’s a shallow section where Lyle built up some rocks we use to cross.”
“That’s sweet. And convenient.” She narrowed her eyes at the plastic container in Erica’s hands. “You know, if you’re feeding him—Kevin, I mean—he’s never going to want me back. I’m not exactly known for my cooking.”
Taming the Moguls Page 11