‘Six, but at least she’s asleep now and that’s the main thing.’
She summoned a smile as she edged past him to get to the stairs. The bedrooms were on the top floor of the house and the landing was very narrow so there wasn’t much room to pass. She bit her lip when her shoulder brushed Matt’s chest and she suddenly discovered just how hard and warm his body felt beneath that thin cotton shirt.
‘Well, I really appreciate it, Catherine. Thanks for being so patient with her.’ He grimaced as he flattened himself against the wall. ‘There’s not much room up here, I’m afraid. Of course, this would have been the servants’ quarters in the good old days. The family who originally owned this house wouldn’t have ventured up this far so there was no need to make the landings any wider.’
‘Oh, um…I hadn’t realised that.’ Catherine was having great difficulty following the conversation. She quickly made her way down the stairs, hoping that he hadn’t noticed her abstraction. Why had the feel of his body sent her mind into such a spin? she wondered. It certainly wasn’t the first time that she’d been in such close contact with a man yet she couldn’t remember ever feeling so aware of anyone before. It just seemed to prove what a mistake it would be to let herself get involved with him.
‘You don’t have to rush off, do you? I was hoping that you might stay and have supper with me.’
Matt laid a detaining hand on her arm and Catherine ground to a halt. He wasn’t holding her tightly yet she could feel the separate imprint each of his fingers were making on her flesh. She had the craziest feeling that she would be able to see where his hand had been once he let her go, almost as though he had branded her with his touch.
She sucked in her breath, scarcely able to believe what was happening. She had to stop doing this! She had to start acting like herself and not like this person she seemed to be turning into. She opened her mouth to explain that she couldn’t possibly stay when Matt forestalled her.
‘Don’t tell me you’re washing your hair?’
‘Pardon?’ Her bewilderment was clear to see and he laughed.
‘I got the distinct impression that you were hunting for an excuse to turn me down.’ He shrugged but his gaze was searching all of a sudden. ‘Hair-washing is the number-one pretext, I believe.’
‘And is that based on personal experience?’ Catherine was appalled when she realised what she’d said but he seemed unfazed by the question.
‘No. But, then, I’m not really well versed in these matters. It’s been a long time since I asked a woman to share my supper, or much else, for that matter. How about you, Catherine? Have you used that excuse very often to avoid hurting a would-be suitor’s feelings?’
Oh, that was a tricky one! An affirmative would imply that she had men queuing up just to ask her for a date, whilst a negative would make it appear as though she rarely received an invitation. Catherine bit her lip in a quandary of indecision, which was so out of character that it just made the situation worse. It was a relief when Matt suddenly laughed.
‘Sorry! I really shouldn’t ask questions like that, should I? Let’s start again and this time we won’t let things get too complicated. If you don’t have any plans for this evening, Catherine, would you like to stay for supper? It would save you having to cook a meal when you get home.’
Was that why he’d asked her in the first place? she wondered, trying to ignore a faint and totally irrational feeling of disappointment. He probably felt guilty because she’d stayed so late, reading to Hannah, and was trying to make up for it.
It was on the tip of her tongue to refuse when she suddenly thought better of it. It was almost eight o’clock and the thought of having to start cooking herself a meal at that time of the night wasn’t very appealing.
‘Then thank you, I’d like to stay. I’m absolutely starving and I really don’t feel like cooking when I get in. I’ll probably end up making myself a slice of toast and that’ll be it.’
‘Then you definitely must stay! A slice of toast indeed.’ He shook his head as he led the way to the sitting room and opened the door. ‘Go on in and make yourself comfortable while I open a bottle of wine. We can have a glass while we’re waiting for the casserole to heat up.’
Catherine went into the room as he hurried away and took a long look around. It was the first time she’d been in this part of the house and she had to admit that she was curious. She wasn’t sure what the room had been used as originally but the ornate plasterwork on the ceiling and the intricate parquet flooring suggested that it might have been the drawing room when the house had been built. Matt had turned it into a comfortable family living room and she had to admit that she liked what she saw.
The walls were papered in a rose pattern which perfectly suited the period of the house. Two huge velvet sofas placed either side of the fireplace provided a cosy seating area. There were a number of small tables dotted around the room, holding a variety of knick-knacks which the family must have collected over the years. Although everywhere was spotlessly clean, the furniture looked just a little shabby and the worse for wear, but that only seemed to add to the room’s overall appeal. Catherine felt instantly at home as she sat down on one of the sofas, which was odd, really, because the decor in her own living room bore little resemblance to this.
‘Right, here we go. I’ve opened a bottle of red—I hope that’s all right. I seem to have run out of white.’
Matt came back with the wine and some glasses. He placed them on the coffee-table then unloaded a plate of cheese and crackers from the tray as well. ‘I thought these would stave off your hunger while we’re waiting for the casserole to heat up. I don’t want you passing out. It wouldn’t be good for my reputation if the patients found out that I worked my colleagues to the point of exhaustion!’
‘That sounds very much like bribery to me. You’ll feed me cheese and crackers so that I won’t tell anyone how hard you make me work.’
‘How did you guess?’ Matt grinned as he offered her the plate. ‘Let’s hope it works.’
‘You’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?’ she retorted, popping a cube of cheese into her mouth. She quickly ate it then smiled at him. ‘I just love this room, Matt. It’s really cosy in here.’
‘Thank you, although I can’t really claim any credit for it. I’m the world’s worst when it comes to choosing colours and things. That was Ruth’s department so she’s the one who chose the colour scheme in here.’
He filled their glasses and sat down. ‘I haven’t redecorated the room since she died so it’s still very much how she wanted it to look. I’ve just added a few bits and pieces, here and there.’
‘Well, it looks lovely, whoever chose the decor,’ she said firmly, wondering why the mention of his wife should have caused her such a pang.
‘I’m glad you like it. I just wanted it to be somewhere the kids could do their homework and watch TV or whatever. It didn’t seem important if everything was perfectly co-ordinated.’
‘That’s probably why it works so well. It looks as though the room has evolved.’
‘That’s a good way to describe it!’ He laughed as he picked up a cracker. ‘There certainly hasn’t been a lot of thought gone into it in recent years. Bits and bobs have been added as and when the girls and I have found them.’
‘What do you mean by you found them?’ Catherine asked curiously.
‘If I let you into a secret, will you swear not to reveal it to anyone?’
She stared at him in astonishment. ‘Well, yes, I suppose so.’
‘We’re car boot sale fanatics. There is nothing the three of us like better than taking off on a Sunday morning and having a good old rummage around in other people’s cast-offs.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, really.’ He picked up a small silver dish from the coffee-table and gave it to her. ‘We found this a couple a weeks ago. It was all black and tarnished when Becky spotted it but see how beautifully it’s cleaned up.’
&nb
sp; Catherine couldn’t hide her amazement. ‘But it’s exquisite!’
‘It is. I imagine it must be worth quite a bit of money and definitely more than the fifty pence Becky paid for it. However, that isn’t the reason we go hunting for treasure.’
Matt’s smile was reflective as he took the bowl from her. ‘It’s just a great way for us to enjoy a morning out together. We’re out in the fresh air—even if it does usually rain—plus there is the thrill of wondering if you’re going to find something exciting. It also helps the girls to realise that you don’t have to spend a fortune to have fun. When you’re a single parent there is always a danger that you try to overcompensate by buying things for the children. But money isn’t the be-all and end-all, is it?’
‘No, I suppose it isn’t,’ Catherine said slowly.
Her heart leapt because if Matt had asked her that a few days ago, she would have found it impossible to agree with him. There had never been any money to spare while she’d been growing up and she had often resented it. It was one of the reasons why she had always been so determined to make a success of her life, but Matt’s comment suddenly made her wonder if money really was the answer to every problem. Was she making a mistake by concentrating on achieving material gain rather than personal happiness?
It was impossible to answer that question with any degree of certainty but she couldn’t deny that she’d been touched by what he’d told her. It just proved how much thought and effort he put into raising his children. How long had he been doing it on his own? she wondered, and knew she had to find out.
‘How long is it since your wife died, Matt?’
‘Five years—just a month before Hannah’s first birthday, in fact.’ He put the bowl back on the table and sighed. ‘Ruth found out that she had ovarian cancer at the same time that she found out she was pregnant with Hannah. She refused to have treatment because it would have meant her having a termination and that just wasn’t an option for her.’
‘Oh, how awful! How did you feel—about her refusing treatment, I mean?’ Catherine couldn’t begin to imagine how hard it must have been for him to deal with his wife’s decision.
‘I think I ran the whole gamut of emotions, to tell the truth. I wanted Ruth to have treatment yet I knew it would be wrong to try and force her to do something she was totally opposed to. Ruth had a very strong faith and termination—for any reason—wasn’t an option for her.’
He smiled but his eyes were sad. ‘I suppose I kept hoping that once the baby was born, something could be done for Ruth, but it was too late by then. My only consolation is that Ruth was so happy when Hannah was born safe and sound.’
‘I’m sorry.’ It sounded so trite yet Catherine really meant it.
‘So am I. But Ruth wouldn’t have wanted me to spend my life grieving for her because she wasn’t that sort of person. I have the children to consider as well. Looking after them has been my number-one priority these past few years.’
‘And you’ve never thought about getting married again?’ She hadn’t meant to ask such a personal question but he didn’t appear to mind.
‘No.’ He shrugged but there was something in his eyes which made her heart start to race all of a sudden. ‘I’ve never found anyone I wanted to marry until now. Right, that casserole should be just about ready. I’ll go and see.’
He got up and left the room. Catherine picked up her glass and drank some of the wine although she had no idea how it tasted. All she could think about was what Matt had said. He’d not thought about remarrying because he’d never met anyone he wanted to marry—until now.
She put the glass down with a small thud. Surely he hadn’t been referring to her?
CHAPTER FIVE
‘THAT was delicious.’
Catherine leant back in her seat with a sigh of contentment. ‘Your mother really is the most wonderful cook.’
‘Isn’t she just?’ Matt finished his last mouthful of casserole and put down his fork. ‘Mind you, she’s had years of practice. She and my father ran their own catering company until he died. Mum oversaw all the menus and woe betide the chefs if the food wasn’t up to her exacting standards.’
‘I can imagine!’ Catherine smiled. She’d done her best not to think about what Matt had said while they’d been eating but it hadn’t been easy. The idea that he might be harbouring such feelings about her made her feel very mixed up. Although she knew that she must make it clear that there was no chance of them having a relationship, she couldn’t deny that she was more than merely flattered by the idea.
She pushed the thought to the back of her mind because it was too difficult to deal with it at that moment. ‘Why did she give up the business? Was it too much for her to manage on her own?’
‘That’s what she claims although I’m not sure if I believe her.’ His tone was sombre all of a sudden. ‘Mum would never admit it but I think the deciding factor was because she wanted to help me look after the girls. I doubt I could have managed without her help when they were younger either.’
‘Did you never consider getting a nanny?’
‘I did, but Mum talked me out of it. She said it would be better for Becky and Hannah to have someone they knew looking after them, someone who would be there on a permanent basis. I realised that she was right so accepted her offer to come and live with us.’
His tone implied that he still felt guilty about it and she hurried to reassure him. ‘Maybe looking after the children helps her as much as it does you.’
She saw him frown and hurried on, suddenly wishing that she’d kept her opinions to herself. It really wasn’t wise to involve herself in his affairs, but it was hard to remain impartial when he seemed so intent on blaming himself.
‘It must have been a shock for her when your father died. Helping you look after the children probably helped your mother get over it by giving her something positive to focus on.’
‘You’re right, of course. I should have realised that myself.’ Matt’s smile was warm as he reached over the table and squeezed her hand. ‘Thanks, Catherine. I have to confess that it’s always worried me that Mum gave up so much because of me. Now I can see that it probably helped her come to terms with my father’s death. They had a wonderful marriage and I know how much she misses him even now.’
‘I…I’m sure you would have realised it sooner or later.’ It was difficult to form a coherent sentence when she was so conscious of him touching her. Catherine tried to ease her hand free but he held onto it.
‘Maybe, but it still helped to have you point it out.’ He gave her fingers another gentle squeeze then let her go. Contrarily, Catherine immediately wished that he hadn’t released her because it felt as though she had been suddenly cast adrift.
Maybe it was a ridiculous notion but she couldn’t ignore it. Hadn’t she already admitted that she found Matt’s dependability one of his most attractive features? There was a steadiness about him, a rock-like firmness which was extremely appealing. He would be the perfect anchor in a time of crisis, she thought with a little leap of her heart, a man who would never let you down.
‘I suppose I’ve been too busy to really think about it before. Just getting through an average day seems to be a Herculean task!’
‘It must be difficult.’ She fixed a smile into place when he carried on speaking, praying that he couldn’t tell how on edge she felt. She mustn’t fall into the trap of letting herself depend on Matt, or any other man for that matter. It would be a mistake. ‘Juggling a career and a family can’t be easy for anyone.’
‘It isn’t, although it’s what an awful lot of women do. They manage to do a full-time job and still be a mother and a homemaker.’ He shook his head. ‘They say that men aren’t as good as women are at keeping all the balls in the air at once, and I for one wouldn’t dispute that. What about you, Catherine? Will you carry on working after you have a family?’
‘I hadn’t really thought about it,’ she replied, uncomfortable with the direction the conversati
on was going. She couldn’t explain it but she knew how shocked Matt would be if she told him that she had decided never to have any children.
‘No? Funny, I imagined that you would have had it all worked out. You seem to know exactly what you want from life from what I’ve seen.’
He was right, of course, because she’d always known what she wanted. Or so she had believed until recently.
Catherine hastily stood up, not wanting to expand on that thought. So maybe she had been behaving rather strangely since she’d come to Brookdale Surgery but it didn’t mean that her future plans had altered. She knew exactly what she was going to do with her life and that hadn’t changed.
‘And right now I think it’s about time I went home.’ She deftly turned the remark into a joke, smiling when Matt stood up as well. ‘Thanks for the meal. I really enjoyed it.’
‘And thank you for the company. That was the best part of all.’
His tone was light and she breathed a sigh of relief. It made her earlier fears seem rather foolish, in fact. They were just two colleagues who’d spent some time together after work. There was nothing at all to suggest that Matt hoped they would become more than that. If he had met someone whom he was hoping would become a major part of his life, it certainly wasn’t her.
The realisation was rather deflating for some reason. Catherine determinedly put it out of her head while Matt saw her out. He insisted on accompanying her downstairs and waiting while she fetched her coat from the staffroom even though she assured him she could manage.
‘Allow me.’
He took the coat from her and held it out with a flourish so that she could slip her arms into the sleeves. Catherine shivered when she felt his fingers brushing her neck as he smoothed the collar into place. She moved away, drawing the warm, grey flannel around her as she tried to ignore the little ripples of awareness that were spreading across her neck.
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