Always Been You

by Tracy Luu

  “I was just speaking hypothetically!” Jacob let out a low growl, grabbed my hand as he yanked Alex’s arm away, and stalked into the theatre with me in tow.

  “Then like I’ve always told you, you’re blind as ever,” Matt said with a frown, following us in.

  “Would you guys quit it?” I said in disbelief. “You didn’t even let us explain, and you’re trying to plan a wedding for us.”

  “So, Jen, start explaining why we found Jacob’s arm wrapped around your waist,” Amy proclaimed, following behind me as Jacob pulled me up the steps.

  “Oh, about that,” said Jacob. “I was just saving Jenna from this guy hitting on her.”

  “And I was about to tell Jacob he didn’t have to,” I said. “I was almost turning green from his bad attempts to flirt with me. Who goes and says things like ‘Pardon me, but I lost my phone number. Could I borrow yours?’”

  “That must be one of the lamest pickup lines ever,” groaned Nikki.

  “Maybe Jacob’s protecting you for himself,” said Matt.

  “Or he could be getting hints on how to pick up girls,” snorted Alex.

  “I still think it’s because he’s already has the hots for you, Jen,” whispered Amy, staring at Jacob’s hand still holding mine as he guided us down the row to some seats.

  The lights started to dim before I could come up with a retort. But rather than doing nothing once Jacob had let go of my hand, I quickly grabbed some of his popcorn and threw it at her head.

  Chapter 6

  Winter Break

  The snow was crunching loudly under my feet, and the flakes were falling around me, coating the world in white. Each hot breath exiting from my mouth flew out in crystallised clouds. It was so cold, I had to bury my face deeper in my woolly, green scarf for warmth as I trudged my way through the thick snow towards Amy’s house. My jaw then dropped at the sight before me when I finally made it to the front gate.

  A thin layer of snow was sprinkled on the tops of bushes, some evergreen trees, and coated each barren twig. The bird fountain that stood in the yard was frozen over. In the driveway, I could see some partially filled footprints leading to Amy’s green Beetle that was covered completely, except for the headlights peeking through. Everything was hidden under a coating of smooth, powdery, white crystal ice, except for the walkway Amy’s dad had cleared.

  I carefully made my way down the trampled path, trying not to slip on the icy walkway, and came upon two snowmen carollers in the middle of the lawn. They looked like characters from a Dickens novel, standing in front of an old-fashioned lamppost.

  The female was dressed in a long Victorian outfit made of green velvet, had a white, fake fur muffler covering her hands, a matching cape around her shoulders, and a fur-trimmed bonnet on her head. The male, who had a handlebar moustache, looked very dapper in a black trench coat with a tail, had on a top hat made of wool, and wore a plaid green scarf around his neck. Both had the usual eyes and mouths made of charcoal and a carrot for the nose. But while the male was bald, the female wore a curly blonde wig. She even had false eyelashes and some blush sprayed onto her cheeks.

  Instead of cobwebs on the porch, thick garlands with clear Christmas lights encased in ice were draped up and around the posts. A soft tinkling of a bell came from the holly wreath swinging gently to the breeze against the front door. More lights along the edge of the house were lit up, even though the day was sort of bright. Everything was tasteful and not tacky, unlike some. Her neighbours across the street had their yard covered with all sort of inflatable decorations, like a six-foot-tall Santa swaying in the wind.

  A sudden cold breeze assaulted my nose when I reached the front steps, bringing sounds of merriment and laughter to my ears. As fast as I could, I tromped my way through the thick snow, followed the laughing voices of my friends to the back of the house, when something white came streaming towards my head.

  “What took you so long?”

  I quickly wiped the snow from my face, spluttering out the bits that had gone into my mouth, and was shocked to see a chortling Jacob standing in front of me.

  Ever since Alex had joked about our non-existent wedding, it was as if we couldn’t keep a conversation going between us anymore. I thought maybe it was because we had run out of things to talk about, but then I began wondering if I was starting to annoy him. On the occasional times we did bump into each other, it felt like he was pulling himself away.

  Amy thought it was because I had gone out on my third date with Aaron a week before the start of our winter break. But from what I could remember, even if my dates with Aaron were only friendly outings, it really shouldn’t matter who I went out with. At the movies, Jacob had basically told everyone we were just friends.

  I was half-glad he was here, but with all the pent-up frustration of being ignored once again, I quickly gathered a huge handful of snow, packed it tight, and hurled the ball at him. I guess I must have been madder than I thought. The force of my snowball hit him so hard, it made Jacob stumble backwards, and he disappeared into the drift.

  “Wow!” he said. “And here I thought you couldn’t hit the side of a barn.”

  “Funny,” I said. I bent down to help him up when someone caught my eye. “Hey, am I seeing things or is Matt wearing some really tight pants?”

  “You’re not hallucinating,” he smirked. “He told me Amy forced him to wear them. Man, he must have it bad to go through all that trouble to look like some ballet dancer.”

  “And what is wrong with ballet dancers?” I said.

  “Don’t you think they look very girly in tights and ruffles?”

  “Actually I think they look rather sexy dancing around stage. With those tight pants, you can see how perfectly their—”

  “I do not want to know about that,” Jacob hastily cut in.

  “I was about to say muscles,” I sighed. “You really need to get your mind out of the gutter.”

  “Can’t help it,” he chuckled. “My mind is full of knowledge.”

  “Useless knowledge,” I said. “So, do you want to join our friends’ snowball fight, or do you feel like building a snowman with me?”

  “Let’s make it a snow girl instead,” he grinned. “But first…”

  Jacob suddenly squashed a snowball on my face.

  A thin veil of mist hung in the air by the time we had half the body done. Despite the winter chill and my slightly frozen nose, I still felt warm and continued to roll the head.

  “Jacob, are you purposely trying to make her look fat?” I asked him.

  “Of course not,” he replied, sounding irritated.

  “Then why did you stack the one that’s supposed to be the bottom on top of the one that supposed to be in the middle?” I said.

  “These are in the right order,” he said testily. “You just concentrate on what you have to do and let me finish what I have to do, okay?”

  “Fine, but I’m telling you, she looks fat.”

  I could hear him mumbling to himself as I rolled the huge ball to the left and glanced up again.

  “Now what?” asked Jacob, sounding disgruntled as he wiped away some snow from the middle ball.

  “Something’s still not right,” I said.

  “What, you want me to put the snow back?”

  “No, I don’t want you to put it back.”

  “What do you want me to do then?”

  “How about putting on a couple of bumps around the chest area for her boobs?”

  “Why don’t you do it if you’re going to be so picky?”

  “Because you told me to work on the head. And since we both know what strikes your interest, you’re the perfect guy for the job.”

  He pretended to look offended with my remark, but ruined the effect. As he began compressing and shaping the mound of snow, I thought the area around him was going to melt. He was so red in the face, I wasn’t sure if he could continue.

  “I thought guys dream of doing that, but you look like you’re not e
njoying it at all,” I smirked.

  “My hands are starting to go numb with your interruptions,” he growled.

  “Then stop fondling it and get it on. Oh, yeah, don’t forget to make sure they’re both the same size. We don’t want her looking lopsided now.”

  “And I think you’re just having way too much fun at my expense,” he snapped, packing the snow harder onto the chest than he intended to.

  Once both sides of her boobs were on, I then tilted my head, scrunched up my face, and let out a strangled laugh to see them almost as big as her head.

  “At least now we know how big you like them,” I laughed.

  “Not funny, Jenna,” he said dryly.

  “Sorry,” I coughed. “It’s just too hilarious not to comment. Fine, I’ll leave you alone and concentrate on her head.”

  The flakes were getting heavier, making things harder to see by the time we were done. We had to squint through the swirling snow just to check out our handiwork. When we did, Jacob and I then couldn’t believe the monstrosity in front of us, and we both crumpled to the ground in laughter.

  The snow girl, whose chest was still lopsided, wore a dress made out of twigs, had a pair of tree stumps for her arms, pine needles for her hair, and a body that looked like we had put on a corset and pulled too tight.

  “Th…that has t…to be th…the ugliest snow…man I’ve s…seen,” stuttered Jacob.

  “S…snow g…girl,” I corrected him through chattering teeth. “And I th…think we sh…should go in b…before we get pn…pneumonia.”

  Shaking the snow off ourselves, we then helped each other to our feet, and headed into the warmth of Amy’s house. I then almost bumped into a ladder when I stepped through the doorway, and when I looked up, I found Matt holding one end of the pine garland that had loosened from the ceiling.

  “Don’t move a step further,” he hollered down at me.

  “But we want to go warm up before our f—.” Something a few inches from Matt’s head suddenly caught my eye, and I couldn’t remember what I was about to say next.

  “The mistletoe is supposed to be for Devon and Nikki,” Alex explained, appearing into the hallway with a roll of tape in his hands. “We’ve been noticing things and swear something is happening between them, but they just don’t know how to approach it.”

  “And being the nice friends that we are, we decided to help them along,” added Matt. “But since you two spoiled it, I guess you’ll have to take their places.”

  “We really don’t want our hard work in putting this up going to waste,” said Alex.

  “You’re kidding right?” I said.

  “Not one bit,” Alex said with a wicked grin.

  “Then at least can we have a little privacy?” Jacob snapped before I could say no. “We don’t really need an audience watching us now, do we?”

  “Fine, fine, we’ll get going,” Matt relented.

  My heart felt like it was doing cartwheels in my ribs as I silently stared uneasily back up at the small sprig of mistletoe nailed above our heads. When the clanking sounds coming from the ladder Matt and Alex were carrying slowly drifted away, my senses then seemed to heighten, and I swore I could hear this faint thump coming from Jacob’s heart beating at a fast pace in his chest.

  Slowly, I lowered my gaze as his breathing became shallow and looked at Jacob. He was also staring at the mistletoe, but lowered his head once he felt the weight of my eyes on him. Breaking out into a soft smile as his gaze drifted down to my lips and back up to my eyes, I read the unspoken question he had asked me and nodded back. There was a thrill of anticipation running through my entire body as he slowly leaned in.

  “Come on and kiss her, you blockhead!”

  “Would you get out of here you ass?” Jacob growled at Matt, who had poked his head back into the hall. “We still like some privacy!”

  Even though my cheeks were probably still flushed from being outside in the cold, there was this new sense of warmth rushing to the other parts of my face as I wished for the floor to swallow me up whole. But before I could bury my head in Jacob’s chest as Matt’s laughter faded away, Jacob lifted his hands, and without any hesitation, and before anyone else could interrupt us, pulled my face to his.

  I dimly registered his lips were soft as I closed my eyes. His kiss was invoking this feeling inside me, something I hadn’t felt in a long time. It caused every nerve to take complete control of my body. Back when I had gotten my first kiss from Riley, there was this strange fluttering in my abdomen, like a swarm of butterflies had invaded my body. But compared to what I was feeling now, the butterflies I had felt before were merely just annoying moths trying to eat up my insides. My legs even felt like jelly, and I was sure I was only standing because Jacob had placed an arm around my waist. However, just as I was about to willingly give into the sensation of the kiss and melt into a blissful oblivion, Jacob pulled back.

  “Um…Merry Christmas,” he said, his voice low.

  “Y…you too,” I replied breathlessly.

  Jacob looked as though he wanted to say something else, but didn’t have the nerve. I also didn’t want to say anything either in case I accidentally stumbled my words. Instead, we silently removed our toques, mittens, boots, and coats, and headed down the hall. When we entered into the family room where everyone was warming up by the fireplace, Jacob and I were then met with three inquiring looks, albeit two who were smirking at us with glee.

  “How come you guys are so red?” asked a confused Katie, as Jacob and I sat down on the opposite ends of the couch.

  “I think they just kissed,” said Matt.

  “You’re kidding?” Amy screamed excitedly. “Did you two…?”

  “From the identical blushes on their faces, I think they did,” squealed Katie.

  “Okay, enough already,” barked Jacob. “It wasn’t like we chose to kiss. We got caught under the mistletoe these two dickheads put up. So clamp it!”

  “Why?” Devon grinned. “You seem to be enjoying it.”

  “What if I told you that mistletoe was actually supposed to be for you and Nikki?” I said to him. Both Devon and Nikki quickly stopped laughing and blushed. “That’s what I thought.”

  Ignoring my friends’ puckering lips, I turned my head and my eyes landed on something white in Amy’s family room. Quickly, I got up from the couch to see what it was. I had stumbled onto a winter scene.

  The Christmas decorations used in this room were mostly white, metallic, silver, and crystal. The same fir garland with white lights outside was inserted with holly berries and baby’s breath, and wove through the stair banister leading upstairs, hung along the doorframes, and across the fireplace mantle. A huge white poinsettia plant sat in the middle of the mantel, surrounded by lighted cream candles in glass holders which gave the room a soft glow. There were even the scents of spicy cinnamon, clove, and orange in the air. On the right side of the fireplace were three snowmen made of felt. The smallest one was perched on the big snowman’s back, the other one was sitting in front of him. All were wearing matching green toques, blue sweaters, and red scarves, and were sitting on an antique wooden sled. Next to the trio was the Christmas tree. It was decorated with twinkling, opaque lights, shimmering bows, silver baubles, white snowflakes, crystallised fruit and berries, glass icicles, and faceted orbs. A thick, sheer ribbon was wrapped around like garland, and the tips of each branch were flocked with fake snow.

  “So how was it?” Amy asked me, appearing behind me with the girls in tow.

  “It was okay,” I said, staring at the vintage angel on top of the eight-foot tree.

  “Okay?” said Nikki, looking appalled. “How can you say a kiss from Jacob Bennett is just okay?”

  “Because it was,” I said.

  “Jen, Jacob could’ve said no with kissing you, but he didn’t,” said Amy.

  “Maybe he agreed to it because she’s been hanging out with Aaron,” grinned Katie. “Hey, speaking of that, was Jacob’s kiss better than
kissing Aaron?”

  “I wouldn’t know since I’ve only kissed Aaron on the cheek after our first date,” I said.

  “Then I take it your relationship with him hasn’t gone passed friendship yet, has it?” she said.

  “No, it hasn’t, but wouldn’t he have told you about it?” I asked her.

  “Lately he’s been busy with his studies and we haven’t gotten a chance to really talk.”

  “Relationship or not, in a strange way it’s actually a good thing you introduced Jen to Aaron,” Amy said to Katie. “If Aaron hadn’t appeared in Jenna’s life, then none of us would’ve suspected Jacob’s feelings for her. And with the way how he’s been getting so moody of late, you girls must agree that the hottest guy in school is definitely in to our beautiful friend.”

  “Oh, I totally agree with you, Ames,” said Katie. “Even though Aaron’s my friend, and I’m happy to see him happy, I’d rather prefer it if Jacob and Jen went out instead. They’re much more suited for each other.”

  “We are not—”

  “You know, Kay, you’re right,” Nikki cut in. “I’m sure something’s bound to happen soon. I’ve caught this goofy grin plastered on Jacob’s face a few times whenever he’s staring at Jenna.”

  “He does not—”

  “And I’ve noticed that lately he’s been constantly finding ways to tease and flirt with her,” said Katie.

  “Would you guys quit it?” I complained.

  “Why?” Amy smirked. “We’re having fun watching you in denial.”

  “I am not in denial,” I grumbled at her.

  “Then tell me the truth,” she said with exasperation. “Are you starting to have feelings for him again?

  “What?”

  “Do…you…like…him?” she asked slowly, as though she were talking to a toddler.

  “Who does Jenna like?”

  I froze as the girls turned to find Jacob moving toward us, looking rather suspicious and intrigued at the same time.

  “So who does Jenna like?” he repeated.