Always Been You

by Tracy Luu

  “They should be down soon,” I said, tearing my eyes from Jacob and facing the guys. “And there better not be any complaints about them taking too long from any of you. Or do you want us to do a repeat on Halloween?”

  “Come on you two, let’s go and see what’s on TV,” sighed Matt, grabbing both Devon’s and Alex’s arms. “If I know Amy, we’re going to be waiting for quite a while.”

  “And you, my love, have nothing to worry about,” Jacob whispered in my ear. “Even in your sweatpants, you’ll always look gorgeous to me.”

  I turned my head to face my guy again, gave him a soft smile, and leaned in for a kiss.

  An hour later, we were finally downtown and in the Orpheum theatre among our classmates in their caps and gowns, waiting to take our places outside the auditorium. As I chatted with some of the girls, I turned my head to the left and my breath suddenly caught in my throat.

  “If Matt looked at me like that, I wouldn’t care who’s around and take him right here,” Amy whispered in my ear.

  “I can’t believe you just said that!” I gasped. “What has Matt done to you?”

  “Jen, it’s about time you felt the fire and passion that goes along with being with someone you really love,” she said. “Speaking of which, have you and Jacob…?”

  “Let’s just say that even though we’ve done a few things that would certainly cause my mom to alter her opinion of him, we hadn’t gone down that road…yet,” I said.

  “I could tell,” she laughed. “With the way he’s looking at you right now, I can only imagine what it’s like when you two are alone! Maybe I should lock you guys up somewhere so you could just get it over with. How about I find a broom closet or something?”

  “I wouldn’t gloat if I was you! You and Matt are worse!”

  “Thank God for that!” She let loose a laugh that caused several heads to turn, including Jacob. I smacked her on the arm.

  “Amy,” I hissed. “This is something I really don’t think my dad wants to overhear about what’s going on with his baby girl.”

  “I’m sure it would give him nightmares,” she giggled before her voice took on a serious tone. “So are you ready?”

  “I don’t know if I ever will be,” I sighed.

  “If he loves you enough, he’ll wait until you are. And we both know how much he adores you. Jacob’s such a gentleman, I’m sure he’s even letting you set the pace in the physical aspect of your relationship.”

  “He is, but sometimes it gets a bit frustrating, especially with the way Jacob kisses,” I sighed. “It’s a good thing I have you to talk about things like this.”

  “I’m glad too, especially when we finally get to compare who’s bigger.”

  “Amy!”

  “What? I’ve always wanted to know if being the hottest guy in school also means he has a huge d—”

  “And what are you girls talking about?” asked Matt.

  I shot Amy a quick look and we both burst into peals of laughter.

  “Do you really want to know what they’re gossiping about?” sighed Jacob, appearing behind me a second later and wrapping his arms around my waist.

  “You’re right,” sighed Matt.

  I was about to follow Matt and Amy as they went to talk to another one of our classmates when Jacob grabbed my hand and pulled me in the opposite direction. Looking around furtively, he then wove me through the crowd, led me to a secluded spot that was largely obscured, and pulled me behind the huge potted fern.

  “Hey,” he said huskily. “I miss you already.”

  I was able to get out an “I” before he captured my lips with his. But before I could even begin to enjoy the feeling of his hands dancing across my ribcage and over my stomach, we then heard a discreet cough, and it broke us apart.

  “You guys are lucky I was the one who found you,” Matt grinned. “Jen, your parents are looking for you since it’s time to go in. I know how much they approve of my cousin, but imagine what would’ve happened if your dad stumbled onto you like this.”

  Jacob and I looked at each other’s dishevelled appearances and promptly turned pink.

  It was no surprise that Amy was chosen to be our valedictorian. With perfect grades year after year, and also planning a major thing like our senior picnic, she really deserved to be standing up at the podium, giving us the most memorable speech of our lives.

  “Hello, everyone,” she smiled. “There is so much to say and share with all of you, I don’t know where to begin. I guess I should start with this. As this year draws to a close, it’s strange to look back and think we came here five years ago as eighth graders, and now we’re here as graduates. It doesn’t seem that long now, does it? When we first entered West Vancouver Secondary, we were surrounded by unfamiliar faces and weren’t sure of what to expect. In those days, graduation seemed light years away, on an infinite path with no end in sight. And here we are now, a definite milestone of our lives, as we stand before everyone here.

  “We wouldn’t have made it this far if not for the help of our magnificent teachers. It was their guidance, their high expectations, and even their encouragement on telling us that we can accomplish anything if we put our minds to it that helped prepare us all these years for what lies ahead. To a future which brims with uncertainty, insecurity, and also…hope. We even became perfect models for our younger peers by setting good examples that teamwork and friendship will be the key to our success and happiness. On that note, let’s talk about how much friendship really means.

  “I still can’t believe our entire year has finally come to an end. So much has happened and I can’t even begin to express how much I’m going to miss everything. What we’ve accomplished during school has made us better for the whole, yet it saddens me that some of us will move on, and maybe even drift apart and lose touch. We have formed close bonds with people we wouldn’t have otherwise met. But remember this. Whenever you’re feeling down, think about these wonderful times, and you will realise your friends are never far from you. They will always be around to lend an ear, offer a helping hand, and be there when you need them the most. The memories you gave each other will forever be held in your hearts. Friendship really is needed to help us keep our sanity in check. Where would we be, if not for them?”

  She caught mine and Matt’s gazes and a tear rolled down her cheek. Quickly wiping it away, she then sucked in a deep breath to gather herself, and turned back to face the crowd.

  “Graduation may be the end of our high school experience, but we have made it through tough trials, be them large or small. Some of us even experienced pain and love, and we all did it together. As students, we’re constantly told school is what we make of it. It’s not only a learning institution, but has been our other home for the last five years. We can now leave knowing we will succeed in what we do. Congratulations to all of you!”

  After we were done with taking a few pictures with friends and family once the ceremony was over, a bunch of us then headed back to Jacob’s for an after party. His house was big enough to fit almost half of the student population in our school. But because his parents had also given him permission to let people stay for the night if they needed to, Jacob set some ground rules.

  Basically, no one was allowed to leave and had to stay overnight if they were too drunk to drive. If anybody did dare and try to sneak off into a room, he will then call them a taxi, so they could go back to their own house to, as I once had called it, ‘get down and dirty’.

  As soon as everyone reached Jacob’s and stepped into his house, they instantly became enraptured by the place just like I had been. Everyone was so awed by its grand splendour, some of the guests decided to linger around in the entryway. The ones who were quicker at getting over their initial shock opted to head down to the basement, go out onto the patio to enjoy the view, or hang around the indoor pool.

  “You know I just realised that ever since we became friends with Jacob, I’ve never once been inside his house,” said Nikki, he
r gaze caught by the huge crystal chandelier hanging in the middle of the foyer.

  “Me either, but…wow!” said Katie, watching the bizarre pattern of the psychedelic mandarinfish swimming in the aquarium.

  However, just as I was about to follow Amy into the kitchen to grab a drink, Jacob appeared, quickly grabbed my hand, and he tugged me up the stairs toward his room.

  “And what are we—”

  My question was suddenly interrupted by someone bellowing Jacob’s name from downstairs.

  “Told you we’re always interrupted,” he sighed, burying his head in my hair.

  “Like I said, you’re just way too popular,” I grinned.

  Lifting his head to return a grin back to me, Jacob then gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and left his room.

  As he disappeared from my view, taking the stairs two at a time, I then walked out onto the patio to check out the view. When my eyes landed on Matt, who looked like he was trying to toss Alex into the pool, I then heard the door shut and turned around. Jacob had returned. Except rather than moving, he was frozen to the spot, his gaze firmly attached to my chest.

  At first I was confused, but then it quickly dawned on me that while I was waiting for Jacob, I was also absentmindedly playing with knot in front of my dress.

  Outwardly smiling, but inwardly doing back flips for being able to make him goggle, I lightly cleared my throat to keep a giggle from escaping, headed back into his room and asked, “And what are we doing in here?”

  “Huh?” he said dumbly.

  “Well that’s not the reaction I was expecting,” I grinned.

  “Sorry, Jenna,” he said sheepishly. “My mind was on something else.”

  “You mean somewhere else,” I smirked, giving my knot another playful tug. “Now that you found your voice again, feel like telling me why we’re in here?”

  “As much as I love seeing you in my favourite dress of yours, I thought maybe you might want to feel comfortable and borrow some of my clothes.”

  “Is that the real reason you brought me up here?”

  “Would I be in trouble if I told you I also wanted some alone time with my girl?” he whispered, sliding his arms around my waist.

  “No, you won’t be in trouble, but what about your parents?”

  “After the ceremony, my dad and mom had to attend some important function. And if you’re wondering about Ashley, she left right after too. She wanted to spend some time with her friends before heading back to Toronto tomorrow morning.”

  “That was sweet of your sister to come back just so she could be here for your graduation.”

  “I know.”

  “So now that I know where your family is, what about your guests downstairs?”

  “What about them?”

  “Didn’t you just tell everyone not to get it on in one of the rooms?”

  “Yes, but when I said that, I wasn’t including us,” he grinned, his hands now moving sensuously over my hips. “Now that we’re together, every time I touch you, I want to continue what we started that day back in my room. But, Jenna, if you’re not ready to take this step, I won’t pressure you into anything. Even if I have to wait years until you are. I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  With a soft kiss, Jacob lifted me in his arms and laid me on his bed. Lying down beside me, he then draped his comforter over us, and pulled me closer to his chest.

  “Lydia was right, you do smell really good,” I sighed blissfully, inhaling his shirt as he kissed the top of my head. “No wonder you’re a part of every girl’s dream.”

  I simpered and batted my eyelashes at him, then laughed as Jacob stuck out his tongue.

  “Yeah, well, you smell better,” he said.

  “So it’s true then?”

  “What’s true?”

  “Before we got together, Alesha said you’ve been sniffing my hair when you thought no one was watching.”

  “You mean she saw me and never said anything to anyone?”

  “She, Yumi, and Lydia may like to gossip a lot, but they’ve never mentioned anything bad about us to anyone,” I explained. “And if you’re wondering why they weren’t part of those bad rumours about me, it’s because they hate Hannah and her clones, and Amber and her friends.”

  “That would explain a few things,” he grinned.

  Rolling me over so I was lying on him, our conversation was halted for the time being as Jacob pulled my face to his.

  His lips were soft and warm, and when I flick my tongue out to taste his lips, a noise issued from his throat that conveyed both shock and desperation for more. The effect it had on Jacob sent my head reeling as he pulled my body closer to his.

  When he let out a heavy pant and lifted his head a moment later, I opened my eyes to see what was wrong only to close them again. Kissing his way around the other parts of my face, he then found a particularly sensitive spot near my collarbone, and I arched my back, giving better access to my neck. Except a quick second later as he slipped the strap from my dress off my shoulder, I then felt the full evidence of his desire for me and pulled away.

  “What’s the matter?” he growled softly.

  “I don’t feel right about being in your room doing what we’re doing when you’re parents aren’t here,” I said, as he gathered my hair in his hands. “I know they already assume I’m staying over since everyone else is, except they also probably think everyone else will be with us, and that we’ll be sleeping in the basement.”

  “We’ll join everyone downstairs later. Right now I just want to be here with you without anyone interrupting us.”

  “You know, Jacob, to be honest, I’m still trying to get used to the idea that you’re so in love with me,” I sighed. “I really don’t want to feel this way, but I can’t help feeling insecure about our relationship.”

  “I’m scared and nervous as you are thinking this is only a dream,” he said, propping himself up on his elbow. “But that’s not going to stop me from loving you.”

  “And me to you.”

  “Then there shouldn’t be anything to be nervous about,” he grinned. “Besides, I’m sure you’ll be more secure about our relationship after you hear what I have to say.”

  “And what exactly is this thing you have to say to me?”

  “It’s a dream I had about you,” he sighed happily. “Not that I haven’t already had many other dreams that involve you and me…well…” He blushed. “Anyway, you were standing in our kitchen holding a baby that looked like us.”

  “When did this come about?”

  “It happened on the night we were trying to calm Tessa. I wanted to see what else was in store for us, but your loud whispering woke me up.”

  “Funny,” I said, swatting his arm again as he playfully poked me in the side.

  “Now back to my story. When you had opened the door to let me in, and I had seen you with Tessa, somehow subconsciously, the image of you holding our baby popped in my mind when I passed out.”

  “Now that’s really weird.”

  “Are you telling me that you find my deepest secret weird?”

  “What? No. I’m saying that because Amy said the same thing to me.”

  “It’s true, Jenna. I really hope you’ll make it come true one day.”

  “If you keep treating me like this, maybe we’ll have that future of yours.”

  “You really mean it?”

  “Of course, especially now that I’m allowed to touch this sexy body of yours.”

  “You’re allowed to touch me whenever you want. I’m yours forever, Jenna, and I really want us to one day have that future.”

  “Then I hope when the time is right, I’ll make it happen for you,” I grinned.

  Seeing the look of love and lust in Jacob’s eyes, we stared at each other for a moment, and I could feel a decision being made, a quiet resolve filling the space between us. As he reached out with a wide grin across his face and pulled me closer to his body, I willingly let him t
ake over as he moved his head and captured my lips again.

  Epilogue

  New Beginnings

  Despite the cold winter air, I was feeling quite warm in my new apartment that I shared with Jacob. Within walking distance to Lonsdale Quay in North Vancouver, our place had cream-coloured walls in the living room, celery-green walls in the guest bedroom, and brown walls in our bedroom. Granite countertops, stainless steel appliances and birch cabinets furnished the kitchen. There was even a small nook that was big enough for a computer desk. We even had a view that overlooked downtown Vancouver from our living room window. And with the snow gently falling outside, the scents of pine from the tree decorated in gold and red, the smell of gingerbread from the homemade cookies sitting on a plate in the dining room, and an apple pie still baking in the oven, Christmas was definitely in the air.

  A huge smile was etched upon my face as I stood back, watching everyone chatting among themselves as they sat in front of the roaring fire in my cosy living room.

  It has been five years, since we had graduated from high school.

  Jacob, who was sitting on the left side of our chocolate-coloured couch that faced the fireplace decorated with cream candles and garland, was in his second year at UBC as a med student. Amy, who was eight months pregnant with her first kid with Matt, was a fashion designer, working for one of the bridal companies. Matt, who was sitting on the matching love seat, rubbing his wife’s round stomach, was a journalist for the local newspaper. Nikki, who was sitting in the middle between Jacob and Devon, was a kindergarten teacher. Devon, who had his arm around Nikki’s waist, was a computer programmer. Katie, who was sitting on the plush white area rug in front of the fire, worked in advertising and was engaged to Alex. Alex, who also was mimicking Devon by wrapping his arm around his fiancé’s waist, was a computer graphics artist. As for me, I was also attending UBC, but was a second year law student.

  Since everyone was always busy, we barely had any time to see each other. Now that the Christmas holidays were upon us, I was deliriously happy to be spending this special season with my friends.