by Tara Rose
“So which is it for you?”
His grin told her he was joking around now, so she returned the smile. “Well I’m fairly sure I’m straight, if that’s what you mean. I’m not married because I’m not ready to settle down. If I’m being truthful, I might never be ready to. I’m having too much fun. I have a job I adore, I like keepings things loose and casual, and I’m… This is going to sound terrible.”
“No it won’t. Just say it. We’ve already spilled all our secrets.”
“Really? I know all yours now?”
He swept his hand in a circle. “Pretty much.”
“I’m not sure I can be monogamous the rest of my life.”
“Hence the fantasies of having sex with more than one man.”
She narrowed her eyes. “How did you know I have fantasies like that?”
“Duh. It wasn’t too hard to figure out from our dinner conversation.”
“So what does that make us, Ethan? Freaks?”
His face grew serious. “No. Not at all. At least we know who we are and we’re honest about it. That’s more than most people can say.”
She rolled her eyes. “Especially in this town.”
“I know. But the only question now is what do you want to do about this? Where do we go from here? Because I don’t want to stop seeing you. I had more fun tonight than I’ve had on a date in a very long time. And unless my instincts are totally off, so did you.”
He moved closer, and Savannah knew she was going to break her no-sex-while-dating-another-man-at-the-same-time rule, just like that. He was the sexiest, most charismatic man she’d ever met. But what would that make her? What would Noah and Jimmie say when they found out? The last thing in the world she wanted to do was hurt either of them.
“What are you thinking?”
She couldn’t tell him. “I’m having a raging internal struggle right now with my conscience.”
“I see.” He brushed a finger along her face and she shivered. “Let’s try this. Let me take you home tonight. Then let’s do something with Jimmie and Noah. The four of us. That way we can talk.”
Holy shit. “Are you serious?”
“Totally. Don’t misunderstand me. I want to make love to you tonight, Savannah. I want to introduce you to those paddles and floggers over there because I know you’re dying of curiosity about them. Any experience with that, by the way?”
“Are you kidding? None.”
“Then I’d be honored to be your first. But I also know how conflicted you’re feeling right now, and I understand why. I really do. I don’t want that for you. I want you to enjoy this without guilt, and you wouldn’t be able to do that tonight.”
She stared at him so long that she could feel him becoming uncomfortable. “Are you for real?”
“Yes.”
“All right. We’ll do that. I don’t know what the four of us can do together in this town, but I’m game if you are.”
“I know what we can do. We can all go to your Aunt Ruthie’s picnic. She invited the entire hospital.”
“That’s over two weeks away.”
He grinned, and she bit back a moan. “I know. So during that time, it will your job to figure out whether Jimmie or Noah, or both, would be open to you having sex with one of them, or both of them, along with me at the same time. Oh, and if they’d be agreeable to watching me use those toys on you.”
She knew she was blushing furiously now, and a giggle rose up. “You are out of your mind, Dr. Drake.”
He laughed. “No I’m not. You never know. Those two might surprise you. Or, they might run away. But the choice will be theirs to make, regardless. You might even decide to tell me to take a hike. I hope you don’t, but I’m not going ask you to do something that compromises your integrity. Never.”
She shook her head. “Then we’d better get back in that fancy car of yours so you can take me home right now. Because I’m two seconds away from throwing myself at you.”
He actually backed up a few steps. “Now you’re just being cruel. I’m only a man, Savannah. Come on. Let’s get you home before I completely lose my cool and toss you on my bed.”
Fuck.
Savannah didn’t speak on the way back to her house. She was too busy trying to process everything they’d talked about tonight, and what she’d seen in his bedroom. He walked her to the door, pulled her close, and kissed her gently on the lips. That was all. She didn’t even have time to put her arms around his broad shoulders. “I’ll call you in the morning. Sleep well.”
“Good night. Thank you again.” The words were automatic. Inside she was screaming, and wanted to beg him to come inside and fuck her until she couldn’t walk. Was he human? Was this an act? She’d never met anyone like him. Any other man in this town would have talked her into staying. She was one hundred percent certain of that.
As she stood on her porch and watched him drive away, she almost ran after him. Savannah went inside and closed the door, and then stood against it, shaking. Her entire body was actually trembling. She placed a hand on her mouth where he’d kissed her, still able to feel his lips against hers. This was crazy. Did he do this all the time? Is that why he wasn’t attached? The women thought he was totally nuts and ran the other way. That had to be it. There was no other explanation for what had just happened.
And what the hell was she going to do about Jimmie and Noah? She tried to imagine having a conversation with them that included describing Ethan’s toys and his fantasies, but couldn’t. Because then she’d have to confess hers. What on earth would they think?
Then again, they were only men. They might enjoy the idea. But not as a long-term arrangement, surely. No way.
Vivian Tremaine, the buttoned-up HR director was living with two men. But that was Vivian. She’d always done her own thing and had never worried what others thought. She was a free spirit.
So are you.
That’s true. She really was. She always had been. But Jimmie and Noah weren’t. She wasn’t entirely sure about Noah, but Jimmie was as home-spun as they came. His Daddy was a preacher. He’d lived under that man’s shadow even when he’d been living across the state in Knoxville. And Noah’s father was a big wig at Sin Hospital. Both Noah and Jimmie had to pretend to be as straight-laced as they came, even if they weren’t feeling that way inside.
There was no way they’d agree to something like this, even one time, just to see what it was like and have some fun. Not a chance.
Chapter Four
Noah was surprised when his cell phone rang at two in the morning, and it wasn’t someone at work calling him in on an emergency. It was Savannah. Had that asshole doctor hurt her? “Hey. You okay?”
“Not really. I need to talk.”
Noah practically jumped off his bed. “What did that fucker to do to you?”
“What? Nothing. I’m home. Alone. Jimmie isn’t still there, by any chance, is he?”
How had she known he and Jimmie were here, hanging out? Then again, where else would they both be on a Friday night? How pathetic was that? “No. He went home about midnight. What’s going on? You sound upset.”
“I just really need to talk. Can I come over?”
“Of course you can. But would you rather I come to you?”
“No. Um, I’m not home. I’m already in your driveway.”
“Get in here, Savannah.” Noah disconnected the call, tossed on a T-shirt and sweats, and ran downstairs to unlock the front door. She was in shorts and a tank top, and looked tired. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I couldn’t.”
“Are you sure he didn’t hurt you?”
She frowned. “Noah, he barely kissed me, okay? But we did have quite a conversation, and I couldn’t sleep. I wish Jimmie was still here so I didn’t have to say this twice, but he’s working in the morning and I don’t want to disturb his sleep. Oh, shit. Are you?”
“No. I’m off until Sunday. Come on. Let’s sit down and you can tell me what’s on your mind.”
Once they were in his man cave, as she called it, he offered her something to eat and drink but she shook her head. “How was dinner, by the way?”
“Delicious. Everything was perfect. Really nice. He was a perfect gentleman, and we talked about why neither of us is married with kids, if you can believe that.”
Noah raised his brows but said nothing. If that guy got Savannah to open up that much, he must be magical. Just the same, he couldn’t help but be thrilled that she hadn’t spent the night with the doc. He must not be that smooth, after all.
“And then he confessed a secret fantasy to me. It’s okay. He told me I can tell you and Jimmie. He knows I’m seeing you both.”
Open-minded and he got her to talk about her aversion to commitment? Holy shit. Who is this guy?
“And he’s fine with that. That I’m dating you both. In fact…” Her voice trailed off and he swore she winced a bit. “In fact, his secret fantasy is to watch another guy, or in this case two, make love to me. He wants to participate, too. Not with the men. Only with me.”
All sorts of images raced through Noah’s mind, but his first instinct was to laugh. He cleared his throat, hoping like hell he’d covered it up enough. “No shit.”
“No shit.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
“If I tell you, do you promise not to be upset?”
“I promise.” He wiped his damp palms on his sweat pants.
“It’s my fantasy, too. I mean to make love to more than one man at a time. I’ve just never told anyone.”
Until tonight, that is. “He must be special.”
“Why do you say that? I just told you, too.”
“Savannah, I’ve known you since I was sixteen and this is the first time I’ve had a clue about your secret fantasy. This is the first time I knew you even had a secret fantasy. That’s why.”
She looked uncomfortable and he wanted to kick himself. His jealousy of the dashing doctor was going to ruin this.
“I don’t know what to say, Noah. I’m sorry I never told you before. Ethan has this way of…of pulling things out of people.”
“Are you sure he wasn’t playing you?”
“I am now. I thought that, too, at first. Until I saw his house.”
“Why? What’s inside it? A gigantic bed or something? Mirrors on the ceiling? A disco ball in the bathroom?”
She smiled and his heart soared, as it always did when he said something to make her happy. “Stop that. No. Nothing so silly. He has a wall full of BDSM toys in his bedroom.”
“Really?” Noah grinned and squirmed in his seat. “Like what?”
“I didn’t stick around long enough to examine each of them but I saw paddles and floggers.”
“And what did you think of all that?”
He nearly came in his pants as he watched the look of lust spread over her face. The idea of paddling her and then fucking her was too much for him to deal with. He’d never really imagined having a chance to do something like that in real life. The realization that it might come to that was way too much to handle at two in the morning.
“Well, let’s say I wouldn’t say no way and leave it at that.”
“Savannah, you’re killing me here. Be definitive for once. Please. Would you really let us do that to you? Paddle you or something?”
She licked her lips and he had to dig his nails into his palms. “Under the right circumstances, yes. And by that I mean we’d have to talk about how much, and what I would or wouldn’t let you all do, et cetera. It would have to be a controlled situation, and at no time would I not be able to stop it.”
“Of course. Yes. All of the above.” He could barely breathe right now. “Does Ethan have experience with BDSM play?”
“He does. We didn’t get into details but it was clear he knew what he was talking about and had done it before.”
“Then maybe he’d teach me and Jimmie?” He held his breath as he watched her face. Her pretty eyes widened, and her mouth opened but nothing came out.
“Too much to hope for?”
She shook her head. “No. No, that’s not what I’m thinking. Do you mean to tell me you’d be okay with this? I’m talking about having sex, too, Noah. Not just this play stuff.”
“I’d be fine with it.” Would he really? What if Doctor Perfect has a giant dick?
“Noah, don’t tease me right now.”
Her voice was small and hurt, and he couldn’t take it any longer. He rose from the sofa. She was in an armchair, so he pulled the other one over until their knees touched. Then he took her hands, which were cold.
“Now you listen to me, beautiful. I’m not teasing you. You’ve just shocked the hell out of me, that’s all. Okay? I’m only a man, hon. But the idea of doing all this with you is so fucking arousing I can’t even process it right now.”
“Thank you.”
That she would even have to thank him amazed him. He should be the one thanking her, on his knees. “I don’t know what Jimmie will say. Don’t hold out much hope, all right? It’s not that he doesn’t adore you. He does, and I suspect he always has. But he’s not made from the same cloth.”
“Well, I’m from here and I’m fine with it.”
“I don’t mean that. I’m not talking about being born in a specific state or area of the country. I’m talking about being adventurous and open-minded. Jimmie hasn’t been taught to be that way. That’s what I mean.”
“That’s true. I understand what you’re saying. So what do you think we should do?”
He had no clue. He couldn’t think anymore. “What does Ethan want to do?”
“He thinks we should all go to Aunt Ruthie’s picnic together so we can see how that goes, and then talk.”
“All right. I’ve already asked for the day off.”
“Half the hospital did.” She laughed softly. “I think if she wasn’t my blood relative I’d have to go into the lottery with every other nurse in the unit.”
“Jackie has you all in a lottery to have the day off for Ruthie’s picnic?”
“Ah, yes.”
“Wow. We just deal with it. First one to ask for a day off gets it. The rest…too bad.”
“She’d have a mutiny on her hands if she did that.” She stood. “Thank you, Noah. I feel better. I think I can sleep now.”
At least one of us can. He stood and walked her to the door, and then pulled her close and kissed her. They’d hadn’t gone much past hot and heavy kissing in two months, but tonight he was all right with that. Tonight there was the possibility of so much more in the near future. When he released the kiss, she gave him a long, searching look, and then she got into her car and drove away.
Noah knew it would be a while before he could fall back to sleep after that conversation, so he flipped on the TV and tried not to think about Savannah over his knees while he spanked her lovely ass.
* * * *
Ethan knew there was no way he could wait for Ruthie’s picnic to talk about this. He called Savannah as soon as the sun was up, and woke her. Then he apologized so many times she laughed and told him not to. “Stop worrying about it. I’m on evenings today so it’s all right. I’ll sleep when I get home.”
“Oh. You’re working today.”
“Some of us don’t have every weekend off.”
He grinned at the teasing note in her voice. “I don’t have every weekend off. What about tomorrow?”
“Evenings again. I’m off Tuesday and Wednesday. Oh, and I talked to Noah last night.”
“You did?” That was fast.
“Yes. I couldn’t sleep after you dropped me off so I went over there and we talked.”
Ethan tamped down the hot jealousy coursing through his body. Why hadn’t she called him if she couldn’t sleep? “And?”
“And he’s interested in trying it. We just aren’t sure about Jimmie.”
Ethan dropped his phone. When he picked it up again, he wasn’t sure she’d even noticed. “Um…well…do you want me to
talk to Jimmie?” Please say no.
“No. I don’t think something like this would sit well coming from someone he barely knows.”
“All right. I’ll leave that to you and Noah then. Um, would you like the three of us to do something before the picnic? Or maybe we should include, Jimmie, too? The four of us should go out. I’m talking something simple. Nothing implied or expected.”
“That’s a great idea.” The relief in her voice made him want to pump his fist in the air. “I’d love that. Let me find out when Noah is working this week. But can you get time off on a weekday?”
“I’ll figure something out.” He’d call in a few favors and make it happen.
“All right. I’ll find out whether they can both get Tuesday or Wednesday off and let you know.”
“Fine. Great. Thank you.” He sounded like a damn idiot. “But even if they can’t, I’d love to see you again. Just you and me.”
“Okay. Sure. I’d love that.”
And that was his cue to get off the phone before he dropped it again or started babbling. “I’ll talk to you later then.”
“All right.”
He was in deep shit here. Why the hell had he waited so long to ask this woman out? He’d completely misjudged her, for one thing. When he’d first come to Sin Hospital he’d thought her flighty and silly. And then he’d watched her take charge during a difficult admission, and he’d realized how professional and skilled she really was.
After that, he’d watched her a lot, paying particular attention to her interactions with patients, their families, and her co-workers. She wasn’t flighty or silly. She was a happy person, and a kind one to boot. She went out of her way in a crisis to pitch in, and even when she was caught up on her own work she was never lazy the way some of the nurses were.
She never went online or had her feet up on the desk, reading a novel. She made sure everyone else got their work done, and she paid extra attention to family members who were more terrified than usual. He’d even once watched her spend most of her shift with an elderly man whose wife was in their unit, and was clearly going to die that night. It wasn’t even her patient, but she took the time to sit with him and talk to him, all the while taking care of her own patients.