by Tara Rose
And he’d never heard her say a mean thing about anyone. Not in all the time he’d been here. In fact, when that mess with his boss’s former sexual harassment suit in Chicago started up again, it was Savannah who told everyone to remember that the nurse who had filed it dropped it, and that Preston had never acted unprofessionally toward any of them.
Ethan wasn’t sure what exactly was going to happen between him and Savannah, but he knew one thing. She’d already crawled under his skin, and she would be hard to let go of now.
Chapter Five
Jimmie still wasn’t sure about this. When Savannah had called him yesterday and asked if he was free the next day to spend time with her, Noah, and Ethan his first instinct was to tell her no way, but he’d said okay because Savannah had asked. And now, as they drove in Noah’s SUV toward Murfreesboro to see a very popular movie where the heroine and hero are involved in a kinky, unconventional relationship he wondered what the hell he was doing here.
He had nothing against movies like this. He had nothing against movies in general. He had nothing against Ethan, even though he didn’t know him very well. The man sat in the back with him and talked his ear off, and was pleasant enough, even if he did talk too fast. All Yankees did. And he had nothing against Noah or Savannah. But he wasn’t sure what Savannah wanted out of this afternoon.
She hadn’t told him. Noah had. And when Jimmie heard that Noah was willing to give it a shot because, in his words, it sounded like fun and it would finally give them a chance to make love to Savannah, Jimmie still hadn’t been sure. Not because he didn’t want to make love to Savannah. He’d wanted to make love to her since he was old enough to understand what that was. There weren’t too many men in this town, Jimmie would be willing to bet, who hadn’t wanted the same thing at one time or another.
But this…this was bold. Daring. Unconventional. Sinful. Yes. Sinful. And that was the one thing, right there, that almost tipped the scales for him from unsure to hell yes! Let’s do this!
He kept picturing his father’s face and it made him want to laugh like a hyena. And then he pictured the look on Denny Mann’s face. Denny was the Deacon of First Baptist Church, and had an even larger stick up his ass than Jimmie’s father did. They would freak. Both of them. And that knowledge alone was enough. The images of them reacting to a foursome between him, Noah, Ethan, and Savannah had led to Jimmie agreeing to go to the movies with them this afternoon.
But could he do this? Really do this? Could he really be naked in front of Noah and Ethan? Could he watch Ethan flog Savannah, and then make love to her with two other men there? The realization that he was more worried about his own comfort level than how long she’d been holding these fantasies inside made him smile. He’d come so far since his childhood.
Even ten years ago, contemplating something like this would have pushed horrible words about the woman to the forefront of his mind. But not anymore. He could no sooner think of Savannah in those terms than he could picture his own mother wearing the labels, God rest her eternal soul.
No. Savannah was a free spirit who liked to have fun. And she didn’t have a mean bone in her body. Even his own father couldn’t refute that. She was like the wild Mustangs out west. You couldn’t keep them penned up or they withered and died. Savannah needed to run free and explore her world. She needed to test her limits and embrace her interests. No man would ever tame her long enough to marry her and have children, but that’s what made her so fun and easy to be with.
At least, he and Noah thought so. God alone knew what was in Ethan’s head right now.
But whatever this day brought, Jimmie would do his best to embrace it and enjoy his time with Savannah. He’d been half in love with her most of his life, after all. And when she smiled at him, it made him want to be a better person.
* * * *
Savannah wanted to sit in the back row of the theater because she hated people kicking her seat. None of the guys protested, so as soon as they had their tickets, she asked them to get her a large Coke and popcorn, and then skipped up the stairs inside the theater to procure them the best four seats along the back. She placed paper napkins on the tops of the other three seats and glared at anyone who eyed them.
When the guys finally came in, she was seated between Jimmie on her right and Noah on her left, with Ethan sitting to the left of Noah.
“This is nice,” she said, glancing at each of them in turn. “Thank you.”
Ethan leaned over and gave her knee a squeeze, which was surprisingly erotic. “Pay attention here but don’t take this as gospel truth. Some of the ways their relationship is depicted has caused some backlash within the BDSM community.”
“I’ve heard that about it, too,” said Noah. “In fact, I think we might be the only three in that hospital who haven’t seen this movie yet.”
Jimmie snorted. “I think we might be the only four in the entire town who haven’t. But don’t ask any of them to admit that to your face.”
They all laughed, and Savannah squirmed in her seat. This was going far better than she’d been imagining. She was halfway done with her popcorn by the time the movie finally started. For a town as conservative as Murfreesboro, the theater was packed, and they were showing this movie on more than one screen at a time.
Savannah loved it. Even the kinky parts. Especially the kinky parts. Jimmie had his arm around her shoulder by the time Ana and Christian kissed in the elevator, and Noah cleared his throat several times after that, and then finally grasped her hand.
Throughout the movie, Ethan leaned over Noah to whisper something to her, or she leaned over Noah to whisper something to Ethan, until the women sitting in front of them turned around and shushed them both. Savannah shot Ethan an apologetic glance, but he merely winked at her, his eyes dark with lust and humor.
When the movie ended, Savannah already had heard the ending was the same as the one in the first book, but apparently the people in the theater weren’t happy with that because a lot of them booed or groaned out loud, but then everyone clapped during the closing credits. The guys waited until the theater was about half empty before standing up.
They filed out without speaking, and when they reached Noah’s SUV and climbed inside, they waited again until the parking lot was a bit more navigable before one of them finally spoke up.
“I’m betting you three have a lot of questions,” said Ethan.
“A few,” said Jimmie. He was seated next to Ethan in the back, as he’d been on the ride up here.
“Ask away.”
“I have one, but not about the movie,” said Noah. “Where do you all want to eat?” Savannah laughed, but Noah shook his head. “No, I didn’t mean it like that. I want to talk about the movie but I know we’d planned on going somewhere to eat, too, and we need to pick a spot where we can discuss this without worrying about who might be listening.”
“Okay,” she said. “Good point. How about Hickory Falls in Smyrna? It’s not usually too crowded during the week.”
“Great idea,” said Jimmie.
“I don’t know it,” said Ethan, “so I’ll take your word for it.”
Noah had never been there but Savannah had so she gave him directions, and then they asked for a table in a corner where no one else was seated. Once they had something to drink and had given their orders, Ethan asked again what questions they had.
“Contracts,” said Noah. “They can’t possibly be legal, can they?”
Ethan shook his head. “Not in any US state I know of. Do people use them in real life? Some do, but most do not for the simple reason they’re not enforceable. Meaning if a sub cries rape or abuse, the contract won’t help the Dom. However, there are checklists available online that some submissives and Dominants find useful in helping them get to know each other before they play.”
“Do you consider yourself a Dominant?” asked Noah.
“No, but I do consider myself a top. And by that I mean I’ve played with Dominants and submissives, an
d I’ve had the same things done to me that I’ve done to bottoms, so that I understand how it feels. I have realized I enjoy being a top rather than a bottom, but I don’t feel an innate need to be a Dom full time. I simply like the kinky side of sex. I do, however, believe in talking first about limits and safety, and I understand how important aftercare is for all the parties involved.”
“So this lifestyle covers a wide spectrum,” said Savannah.
“Very much so, but you’ll also find many people who take a hard line one way or the other. The more you read, the more confused you’re likely to become. And the more you visit blogs and groups online, the more you’ll come to realize that people are just as passionate about what they perceive to be the right way to do this as they are about their religious or political beliefs.”
“So what is the right way to do this?” asked Noah.
“There is no one right way. Whatever is agreeable between all parties is their right way.”
“It sounds like it could get out of hand,” said Jimmie. “I mean to the point of becoming dangerous.”
“Absolutely. Any play is risky, not only physically, but emotionally. Psychologically. And that’s why I told you up front there are some things in the movie that people in the BDSM community have taken issue with. The most important thing to keep in mind when playing is that everything must be consensual. Keeping it safe and sane is also considered absolute.”
“Wouldn’t that vary among individuals?” asked Noah. “I mean, what I might consider safe or sane might sound dangerous to another person.”
“I agree,” said Savannah. “The definition of safe or sane is going to vary from person to person. For example, I would love to go skydiving but Jimmie thinks I’m out of my mind to want that. To him, jumping out of a plane isn’t safe behavior, parachute or no parachute.”
Jimmie laughed. “And plenty of people would agree with me on that. But to Savannah, it’s an adrenaline rush, the same as the one she gets at work.”
Ethan nodded. “Exactly. And that’s the cornerstone of this. You’re acknowledging what you’re doing is risky, and that all play has risks. As long as those risks are communicated and all parties agree to take them, it’s consensual. Both tops and bottoms need to be able to say no, and or I’ve had enough. It’s time to stop. And they need to be able to refuse something up front if they don’t want to do it.”
“Do some people play without safewords?” asked Noah.
“Yes, they do,” said Ethan. “But even that should be agreed upon beforehand, and you need to place an enormous amount of trust in the person topping you to be able to allow that.”
Savannah took a deep breath. “So, how do you know when you can trust the person that much? I mean…” She glanced around but no one was close enough to hear them. Just the same, she leaned closer to the center of the table and lowered her voice. “Let’s say I agree to let you all tie me up and paddle me. How do I know I can trust you? I mean, I’ve known Noah since I started high school, and I’ve known Jimmie all my life.”
She turned her attention on Ethan. “But how do I know I can trust you that much?” Savannah placed her hand over her heart. “How do I feel that readiness, inside here?”
He fixed her with an intense gaze that sent her pulse racing and made her clit throb. “No one can answer that for you. You’re the only one who can decide to give me, Noah, or Jimmie that level of trust. And I wouldn’t recommend we start that advanced, anyway. I wouldn’t feel comfortable restraining you for all three of us to top you until I was absolutely certain you could comfortably go that deeply into play, and that you enjoyed it enough to let go to that extent. Because to do that, you have to be able to trust all three of us. Not only me.”
“Where would we start, then?” asked Noah.
“That’s up to Savannah.”
She swallowed hard, and then she took a deep breath. Their food arrived, so she was saved from having to say anything for a while as they ate. But as she thought about the scenes in the movie that had intrigued and aroused her the most, and about everything Ethan had just said to them, she knew her adventure with these three men was just beginning.
No longer would she shy away from having sex with more than one man she was dating at the same time. Jimmie and Noah had been so patient and understanding with her, and she loved them both for that. For being perfect gentlemen. She’d have expected nothing less. And Ethan had proven himself a gentleman as well, and now he’d shown himself to be so much more.
He had a deep understanding of how important trust and communication were in BDSM play, and it was also clear that no one in the ICU knew this side of him. She’d have to make sure he wanted to keep it that way, and imagined he would. That was fine with her. She’d never been one to brag about or discuss her sexual exploits at work the way some did, and she sure as heck wouldn’t be bandying this around the unit.
That was as much for Ethan’s and Noah’s sake as for Jimmie’s. In a town like Sin, everyone knew everyone else, and it didn’t matter where you were when you gossiped about someone. It always got back to them and to everyone in their immediate family. She’d never place Jimmie in that position. She didn’t agree with the way his father still treated him, but that wasn’t her battle to fight, and she wouldn’t intentionally add any fuel to the fire.
For now, she formed her words carefully in her mind while she ate, and then finally spoke up. “All right. I want to try this. And we can start as slowly as Ethan thinks is safe. And that Noah and Jimmie think is safe, too. And yes I realize that is ultimately my choice, but here’s the thing.”
She took a deep breath and glanced at each of them in turn. To say they all looked ready to jump out of their skin was an understatement, and it gave her a huge thrill to realize she had that effect on these three gorgeous men. “I want to be dominated. I don’t mean hurt. I mean I want to give up control to you three. I feel safe with you. I already trust you. But we’ll do this the right way. We’ll have safewords, and I’ll think about limits, and I’ll do whatever else you feel is best.”
The corners of Ethan’s mouth turned up, and then he gave the area near them a quick glance before speaking. “And what about sex? Do you want that to be part of it?”
She grinned. “Oh, yes. Absolutely. And yes, I mean with all three of you, and at the same time.”
Chapter Six
Now that Savannah had a better look at Ethan’s bedroom, it was clear how into kinky play he was. Not only were there paddles and floggers hanging on the wall, but crops, belts, straps, cuffs, chains, rope, and some really scary-looking clamps that she had already decided would go on the hard limits list. She couldn’t imagine them on her nipples or any part of her body, for that matter.
There was also a violet wand, which she’d also already decided was a hard limit. Maybe it was the nurse in her, but being zapped with electricity did not sound sexy or pleasurable. He had a variety of still-packaged butt plugs and dildos, plus a brand-new Magic Wand. And he had plenty of lube and condoms.
She was fine with all that, and she was all right with being blindfolded. In fact, she’d asked if she could be once they started topping her because she felt it would help her relax more and pay attention to the sensations rather than who was where, and doing what. Although she did want to see each man naked. Fair was fair, after all.
The three men had left her alone in the room and gone somewhere else in the house to talk. She had a checklist in her hand that had appeared daunting at first, but now made more sense. Savannah sat down at the desk in Ethan’s room and began to check items in one of three columns with the headings Hard Limit, Soft Limit, and Undecided.
She tried not to giggle but honestly the whole process so far reminded her of a kick-ass salad bar or eating at Golden Corral. I think I’d like a little of this, and maybe some of that. Oh, and this looks good but not too much.
When the guys finally came into the room, they looked a lot more relaxed than they had when the four left the
restaurant. She smiled, rose, and handed Ethan the list. “All set.”
Ethan raised his brows. “That was fast.”
“I’ve thought about this for a long time. I just never told anyone.”
“Okay. Now, safewords. Let’s keep it easy. Red stops the scene immediately. Use yellow for anything else you need like water, a bathroom break, or if something is uncomfortable or frightening. Agreed?”
“Yes.”
“And here’s the important part, Savannah. Just as you trust us to honor those words, we trust you to use them when you need them. They’re not a sign of weakness or an indication you have failed. This isn’t a test, and none of us wants to cause you any real pain. We want this to be fun for you, and for us. This is about pleasure and sensation. Any degree of pain experienced on your part must also make you feel alive and aroused, or you need to stop us. Do you understand that?”
She did, but she had to take a few deep breaths before she nodded because she was so excited she could barely think.
“Verbally consent, please. We always need to hear you consent so we know you have done so, and that we haven’t misinterpreted a gesture.”
“Yes. Yes, I understand what you’re saying.” Her voice came out all breathy, but how could she help that?
“Good. Thank you. Okay. Now the only question that remains is when would you like to try this?”
She blinked a few times, convinced she’d misunderstood. “Now would be good.” Then she glanced at each of them in turn. “Did you all want to wait?”
“Hell no,” said Noah.
“Not me,” said Jimmie.
Ethan grinned. “I had suggested you might be a bit overwhelmed, so I told these two I’d offer you the option of taking some time to think about it, and make sure you really want to go down this road.”