Celtic Spirit (Celtic Storm Series Book 4)

by Ria Cantrell

  Please God, send him back to me. Please, God, I can’t live without him.

  There would be no answer to this prayer this time. No one would save her now. Oh, why didn’t Jax kill her, too? Why would he leave her to suffer like this? Pulling her legs into her chest, she heard herself make the strangled sound of despair as fresh sobs seemed to fill the tower with her grief.

  When next she woke, Kiera was not even certain what day it was. She was startled to see Morag standing before her. She sat up with a start and railed at the old woman. “I hope you are happy now. I did what you said. I had faith. I opened my heart and where did it leave me? Get away from me, old woman, because I never want to see you again.”

  The old woman looked grim. The last time she had spoken to Kiera, she had been harsh but now, she could not take offense at her words. She leaned down and touched her cheek softly and she said, “Come, lass. Ye’ must leave this place now. So many people are worried about ye’. Yer’ own da is here and yer’ friends, too. They didna’ know where to find ye’. They are frantic with worry.”

  “Leave me alone. Let me die here. Tell them all to leave me alone.”

  “I know ye’ are hurtin’. I know yer’ heart aches, but I canna’ leave ye’ here. They have come a long way to be with ye’. They dunna’ know what has happened. Ye’ need to tell them now…and in remembering, ye’ will heal. Allow those who love ye’ to be with ye’ now.”

  Kiera sobbed out loud.

  “I can’t even have a funeral for him…they took his body away. No one will believe me when I tell them what has happened here…”

  “They will believe ye’. I will help ye’.”

  “Help me? You ruined my fucking life. Why couldn’t you leave me alone? Instead you set me up only to make me fall. It would have been better if I never met any of you.”

  Morag knew that the girl was hurting, so she did not take offense at her words. Her heart broke for the young woman as it had so many times in her own very long life. Pulling a vial from her bag, she said, “Ye’ need to drink this.”

  Kiera eyed the small flask suspiciously. “Unless it is poison, I have no wish to drink anything you give me.”

  “Nay, it isna’ poison. It is to help ye’. Ye’ have not eaten in days. Ye’ have not walked. Ye’ are weak with exhaustion and grief. It is just something to put some nourishment into ye…like a tea.”

  “I don’t want it. Just leave me be. I want to be with him. I want to lay here and die.”

  Deep creases of concern marred the old woman’s face. Kiera could see she had also been crying.

  “I canna’ do that, lassie. Yer’ life is worth more than that to me. Yer’ life is no longer yer’ own.”

  “Don’t think to speak to me in riddles. I have had enough of them and I will not have any more.”

  Kiera was suddenly angry. She was certain she had never been so angry in her entire life. She wasn’t even as angry at Jax as she was at this woman at the moment.

  “Get away from me, Old Woman. I can’t stand the sight of you.”

  “I know ye’ blame me for what happened, but I had naught to do with it. I dunna’ get to plan what has already been written. I loved him almost like a son and I wanted him to find the love that he had been denied. He found that with ye’.”

  Kiera gave a sardonic little laugh and she said, “Yeah, well we see where that got him…where that got both of us.”

  “I know it seems very grim now, but I promise ye’ the love survives. It survives within ye’, now. Come with me, Kiera. Yer’ family and friends are waiting for ye.”

  Kiera did not have the strength to argue. She dragged herself off of the floor. Standing was an effort. She was stiff and sore and her body felt heavy with grief. Moving was even harder. Staunching the tears that ever-streamed from her eyes was the hardest yet. The old woman held onto her and they seemed to help each other down the stairs of the ancient tower ruin. When they broke from the shade of the forest, cold sunshine bore down on Kiera. It felt harsh and was unwelcomed. Her father and her best friends were waiting for her. At her bloodstained appearance, they were frightened, but Morag quickly allayed their fears. She took the girl’s hand and led her to her kin and they took her into the Keep where they could help bathe her and tend to her. It was going to be a long day and there was much to explain to the people who had come to attend a wedding that was no longer going to be. Morag hoped the girl had the strength to get through it. For the first time since meeting her, Morag was not sure that Kiera would be able to endure.

  Chapter 39

  Derek woke. Where the hell was he? A bright light surrounded him and he struggled to remember. His body felt strange, like it was weightless. He tried to put his thoughts together. What had happened to him? Where was Kiera? At least his heart remembered Kiera. He seemed so tired. Why couldn’t he remember? As his eyes blinked from the brilliance of the glow engulfing him, hazy forms started to come into focus. He tried to speak, “Where am I?”

  He heard an answer but did not see who had spoken it, “Dunna’ talk yet. Ye’ are still too weak and ye’ must rest.”

  Weak? Why was he weak?

  “Kiera,” he heard his voice rasp. It did not sound like a voice he recognized.

  “She is safe. Ye’ are safe now. Rest.”

  Derek tried to push through the haze, but he could not move, no matter how much he tried. He tried to summon up all the strength he was used to feeling in his body and as he sat up slowly, he worked to clear his vision. Pushing himself up with painful effort, he stood and looked back where he had been lying. He could see himself lying on a pallet of soft white and he looked as one who was dead. “Oh no…not again. No this canna’ be.”

  “I told ye’ not to move and to be still. Yer’ body needs to heal.”

  It was Caitlyn McLeod. Bloody hell, it was really her. Panic seized him and he felt a searing pain cut into his side. He looked down at the image of his body lying prone on the pallet and saw blood seeping from an open gash there. At once, the luminous light poured over him and the blood seemed to ebb miraculously. He was pulled back into the body lying so still on the pallet and this time, nothing could make him move. Even when he tried, there was no strength left to even raise his head. He could speak, though and he would be heard.

  “Where am I? What is happening to me?”

  “Ye’ are in a sacred place, Derek Campbell. We are preparing ye’ for your final journey.”

  “Wait a minute. I have to find Kiera.”

  “I already told ye’. She is safe. Now it is time to be healed, once and for all.”

  As Caitlyn passed her hand over his eyes, Derek found he could no longer fight the exhaustion. He closed his eyes and succumbed to the blessed numbness of sleep where memories did not haunt him.

  *****

  He did not know how much time had passed, but this time when he woke, he was able to move with less effort. First he sat up and he looked down at the pallet beneath him. Good, he thought. I am not seeing my mortal body separated from myself. But what in the hell happened? I remember the one…the woman of my heart. Where is she?

  She is safe.

  He knew he had heard that before, but it did not feel like she was safe. Somewhere in his heart, Derek felt that she was dying. He had to get back to her. There was no time to waste.

  He called out and there before him stood his grandfather, Caitlyn McLeod, and some others he did not know. With sadness washing over him, as he had never experienced, he said, “So I am truly dead, then. I had only really begun to live, and now I am living no more.”

  “Not everything is as it appears.”

  “Grandfather, what further trial must I have? I understand now what I took from Caitlyn and my sister and Arianne, for I have lost everything that was dear to me. I realize now that what I took from them, having lost what I have loved most.”

  Gavin no longer looked angry with him. For the first time in what Derek did not even know how long, his grandfather looked
upon him with love and compassion. He could sense the loss and sorrow plaguing his grandson’s psyche. It was time to end his torment, once and for all.

  “Grandson of my heart, ye’ have waited a long time for this reckoning. Now is the time of fulfillment.”

  “So, I have failed then. For surely I am in hell.”

  “Hell? Nay, not hell. Ye’ are being granted a choice. Ye’ have fared well and have learned what it means to love and lose. Ye’ understand compassion. Ye’ paid the ultimate selfless price. Ye’ sacrificed yer’ life for that of another. Now, ye’ are being given yer’ reward. Choose it wisely.”

  “Choose it? I dunna’ understand.”

  Gavin smiled down at his grandson.

  “Ye’ will now have a choice, but both options will bring consequences. Ye’ are granted yer’ soul’s release. Ye’ will no longer be locked in the prison of a bodiless spirit. Ye’ may seek yer’ eternal reward.”

  “Eternal reward?”

  Derek wished he could understand what his grandfather meant, but every thought caused him to feel the heaviness of exhaustion pressing yet upon him.

  “Aye. Eternal reward…in the world where ye’ no longer need yer’ physical body.”

  Those words made Derek fight against the pulling fatigue of every muscle in his body.

  “And the other choice.”

  “Ye’ may be granted yer’ mortal life back, but ye’ canna’ e’er go back to the time before. Ye’ will be stuck in a time that is foreign to ye’, but the woman will help ye’ adapt.”

  “The woman? My woman? My Kiera?”

  “Aye.”

  “I can live in her time? With her?”

  “Aye.”

  Derek did not have to ponder any consequences. For him there was no choice.

  “I choose Love, Grandfather. I choose to live with my soul mate. I care not for eternal rewards. I want to live… for Kiera.”

  “Ye’ are sure? Ye’ havena’ thought of what that means. Ye’ will be mortal once again. Ye’ will age and die as all mortals die. Ye’ will die this third and final instance when it is deemed yer’ time.”

  “I am not afraid to die. I am only afraid to lose the woman. Without her, no eternal reward would be salvation for me.”

  Gavin’s eyes lit with happiness.

  “Then, if ye’ are certain, ye’ will be granted yer’ life to live as ye’ choose with this woman. It willna’ always be easy, but ye’ have shown ye’ are up to the challenge. Ye’ have love. That, above all else, will end yer’ torment.”

  “Send me back to her now. I fear she is dying.”

  Gavin shook his head sadly. “She is lost, t’is true, but ye’ canna’ go yet. Ye’ arena’ healed enough to survive one night there. Do ye’ not know what befell ye, lad?”

  Derek tried to think of the last thing he could remember. His brows drew inward as the images painfully flooded his mind. There was a man who was trying to hurt Kiera, yes. He remembered. He remembered the man holding a knife to her throat. And then the rest came agonizingly back. Kiera had tried to get away. Derek had tossed him from Kiera and then he had been stabbed. He remembered Kiera crying out for help. He remembered her tears soaking his neck as her hand tried to press the flow of his own blood back into his body. He almost felt the pain of it, but that too was just a memory. There was no pain now. Derek slid the sheeting down his hip and he looked at the raw ragged gash that newly scarred his side.

  As Gavin saw Derek inspecting the wound, he knew Derek remembered. He offered, “Yer’ vitals were pierced, lad. Here, in this sacred place, ye’ will heal, but it will take time.”

  “Well then, go to her. Tell her I will be with her soon. I am afraid, Grandfather. I feel her dying. I do! I feel it here, in my heart,” he said, thumping his chest for emphasis.

  “I canna’ go to her. Her love fer ye’ will not waiver. She will never stop waiting for ye’.”

  As a stricken look came into Derek’s eyes, Gavin Campbell said, “Rest now. Be healed. Be healed so ye’ can live.”

  “But…”

  “If ye’ do not allow the healing of the Ancients, ye’ will not live long in Kiera’s world. All will be lost. Stay and be healed. And then live a long life with the mate of yer’ soul.”

  Derek knew not to doubt the words of his grandfather so he settled back and tried to be patient while his body was restored to health and life. He had to heal so he could get back to Kiera only because of her was he truly a man. Only with Kiera could he truly live.

  Chapter 40

  She had been in a daze for what seemed like months now, but in truth it had been only a couple of days. She had sat down with her friends and her father and explained everything. She was not sure if they could believe her, but they did not seem to question her. She could not make something like this up. Somehow, her father understood. While the story seemed to be a fantastic tale, John Callum knew about the spirit world. He also knew about Ancient lore. Nothing was impossible in the world of mysticism. His heritage deemed it so. He had studied the Old Ways, much to the dissatisfaction of his ex-wife. He did not share his interest in it with his present wife, to be certain. It was just something he was fascinated with, but he never acted on it. He just tucked it away as knowledge of an ancient way of life. He believed his daughter. He believed in Derek’s very real and long journey. He believed in the mating of souls and was certain that is what had happened with Derek and Kiera. He did not know how one got over such a loss. He worried his daughter never would.

  Then there was the business of Jackson Samms. Jax was still on the loose, but Kiera no longer worried that he would harm her. She prayed he would come back for her and finish what he started. She did not want to exist if Derek existed no longer. Every night, Kiera prayed for Derek to at least come to her in a dream, but even in dreams Derek was nowhere to be found. He was gone and the finality of it rent her heart in two. It was so hard to go on. It was so hard to even breathe. Jeanne and Chris had been so good to stay and Kiera did not know what she would do without them or her father.

  The truth was that Kiera was incapable of the simplest of tasks. She got up in the mornings, bleary from crying herself to sleep, and then, only sleeping fitfully. She would have a shower, put on her pajamas and hop back into bed. She was tired beyond explanation, but sleep was elusive. She had all the curtains pulled tight and did not let the sun streak into her rooms. It was too harsh to have its warmth when she only felt as if her blood had turned to ice inside. Her apartments were cold and Kiera refused a fire to be lit in the hearth. She never wanted to feel warm again.

  After Morag had found her in the tower, she did not trouble the girl with her presence. They had temporarily closed the Keep to visitors. Morag would not force the girl to play the role of tour guide/castle chatelaine just yet. She knew she had to help her move on, and reclaim her life, but she could not do that to the young woman at this point in time. The girl needed time to grieve. Morag had not wanted it to end this way, but even she could do nothing to prevent the ultimate Fate. She would allow Kiera to grieve for her mate and then she would step in, when the time was right, to push Kiera to move on with her life. Now was not the time to do that. Morag wanted to tell the girl to have faith, but nothing she could do would cause the girl to believe in anything she had to say at this time. Morag almost could not have the faith she had promised, herself. It was not supposed to end this way. She had tried to summon Gavin, but he was not forthcoming and so even Morag believed all was lost now.

  She was old. Too damned old. She had seen her fair share of heartache through the years, but nothing prepared her for the grief that this girl was experiencing. When her precious Rory had lost his Caitlyn McLeod, Morag had thought he would die from the pain of it. For some reason, that seemed to pale in comparison to the sadness that stretched inside the heart and soul of this young woman. Seers were different. They had a different way of coping. She knew that from her own years as being one. This girl’s gifts were not developed. In
fact, she had spent a lifetime denying them, so the loss of one like Derek was too much for her to bear. Morag had had her share of regrets in her long life. This one; the bringing of these two souls together, was one of her greatest regrets. Damn it, she was getting too old for this. She had always been a friend of the Ancients, but this turn of fates seemed too cruel for even one like her to defend.

  *****

  John Callum set up vigil for his daughter, finding rest in the chairs before the fireplace as he watched his only child slowly dying inside. A father never wanted to see his daughter suffering so. He stayed with her when she slept, because her dreams were plagued with the nightmare of losing Derek all over again. She would oft wake up, screaming in panic; reliving the terror of it all time and time again. When he had seen his child covered in blood, after days of searching for her, he thought he would die on the spot. His anguish was only equaled to that which his child now held inside of herself. She had always been strong, but something was broken in her now. He thought this time, she would not be able to recover.

  They were planning to hold a memorial service for Derek. John Callum hoped that it would help his precious daughter have a sense of closure, only he felt certain that no amount of memorializing the man would ever help Kiera. He knew that she had had a profound experience with this man from another time. She had finally found love and without it, she would never be the same.

  He wanted to find Jackson himself. He wanted to make him pay for what he had done. He wanted Jackson to suffer, but it seemed Jackson had disappeared into thin air. John Callum was not a man of violence, but the heartache of his only child was more than he could bear and if he could, he would gladly tear the heart out of the man who had destroyed his daughter’s. He watched Kiera dozing fitfully, yet another night and he felt so helpless. This was not supposed to be happening. They had been planning a wedding. They should not be planning a funeral, if you could call it that. There was no body. There was nothing left of the man who had loved his daughter, but some blood stains on clothes Kiera would not allow to be laundered. John Callum worried that his daughter was slipping into the depths of grief induced madness.