Old Lady (Iron Disciples Book 2)

by Daniella Tucci

  “I’m pretty healthy doc.”

  “I don’t like your color Morgan. It’s probably due to the amount of alcohol you’ve been ingesting and the lack of sleep, but let’s just make sure none of your problems are due to some physical malady.”

  “Um…okay. I’ll get a checkup soon as I can get in.”

  “Great. And in the meantime, why not set an appointment with my receptionist for next week sometime and we’ll see how much more human you have become.”

  I thank him and walk out. That was not what I expected from a visit to a shrink, but then again, I’m not really sure what I expected.

  Several Days Later at Medical Doctor’s Office…

  I’ve had my blood drawn and given a urine sample. Now I’m back at my doctor’s office wasting time waiting for him to show up. I am just about to just march on out of here when he finally walks in.

  “Good afternoon Morgan, thanks for your patience. I seem to be running late quite a lot lately.”

  I start to say something about him never being on time but I bite my lip; on account of the new me and all.

  “No problem doctor,” I force myself to say with a smile.

  “So how have you been feeling lately?”

  “Rough doctor, pretty rough.”

  “Any nausea and vomiting?”

  “Well yeah, but I’ve kinda been drinking lately. Been under a ton of stress lately.”

  “Any unusual cravings?” He asks.

  “I don’t know…I guess I’ve been having the munchies lately but half the time I end up feeling too sick to eat much; why?”

  “You’re pregnant Morgan.”

  Suddenly the world stops spinning, and my head begins turning a hundred miles an hour. My heart begins hammering painfully in my chest. This cannot be fucking happening. The last thing in this godforsaken world that I need is a child. Now fucking way!

  “Judging by your reaction Ms. Swift, this is not only unexpected news, but unwelcome news as well. Am I right?”

  “Right on the fucking money doc.”

  “Then I guess we should talk options then. You’re 5 weeks along.”

  “Five weeks? Just five weeks?”

  “Positive. What’s the deal about five weeks Morgan?”

  Truth be told, I have been feeling… off for longer than that. In fact I even suspected I was pregnant two months ago but the home kit said otherwise. The weird thing is I have had some pregnancy symptoms ongoing since then. Which is why I’m wondering just how accurate the date is that he’s giving me. I should probably bring it up but I just don’t feel like it. Food for thought for the next visit.

  “So what are my options?”

  “The normal ones. You can get an abortion, have the child and give it up for-”

  “Alright alright, I know the drill. How long do I have to make a decision? You know, how late is too late for an abortion?”

  “In California you can still have an abortion at twenty-four weeks.”

  “Holy shit!”

  “Well put. Just because it can be done that late doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea. The later you do it the harder it is on your body so the sooner you can make your decision the better.”

  “Yeah…I’m pretty sure what my decision is going to be. You got a number for a clinic that does abortions?”

  He hands me a flyer with a few names and numbers. “I recommend Dr. Henley. Fourth one down on that list.”

  “Thanks doc.”

  “And if you decide to keep the baby, you need to start thinking about prenatal appointments and eating for two now. I realize you haven’t been doing those things but it’s not too late. I wouldn’t worry that you have harmed the fetus yet.”

  “So my drinking like a fish is not gonna give it Downs Syndrome then?”

  “Well it can certainly contribute to a lower birth weight and you may not carry to full term if you continue to drink like you have been.”

  “Yeah…I’m not going to be drinking any time soon. It’s been pretty rough on my body these last couple weeks.”

  “Well good luck with your decision Morgan. If you decide to keep the baby feel free to contact me for numbers of some good pediatricians.”

  “Thanks doc.” I reply as I walk out.

  Of all the things I need right now in my life, a baby ain’t one of them. When I begin thinking about it there really is only one choice here; an abortion. No fucking way I’m gonna carry a baby to full term just to give it up. The thirty minute cab ride back to the hotel doesn’t give me any insight into my problem. By the time reach my door I’m feeling slightly nauseated again. At least I’ve only got roughly seven more weeks to decide.

  I collapse back on the bed, overcome with emotion. How can I have gotten pregnant? I thought we were being safe. Finally I just curl up in a fetal position and just let it all out. First comes waves of fear and anxiety followed by the tears. At some point I fell asleep because what happens next is way too bizarre for reality.

  “Mom, I’m home.”

  My eyes fly open with a start. Who the hell just said that? I look around the room. I’m home now, but home has changed. It’s much…homier. They’re pictures on the walls, and on the dressers. The room has a definite soft, feminine touch to it; not all like I remember my room used to be. It’s gotta be a dream.

  “Mom are you home?”

  There’s that voice again. I could swear I have never heard that voice before, but it’s so familiar. And here’s the bizarre thing. Along with that voice comes a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart towards the owner of the voice. By my guess it’s a female, maybe ten or eleven years old. I close my eyes again and a sudden picture swims into my vision. It’s a girl alright and I know instinctively that she is ten years old and she is mine. Alexa is her name; Alexa Andrea Swift. With the sudden knowledge that I have a child comes waves of feelings for her; intense feelings of love and I know in my heart that I would do anything for her to keep her safe. She is clearly the most important person in my life even though I cannot seem to remember any of our life together. I know that she has been in my life since her birth but I just can’t remember a thing.

  “Mom?”

  Her voice is tinged with worry.

  “Mom’s here honey, in my bedroom.” I call out. Weird, but that just felt like the most natural thing in the world; calling out to her like that; calling myself mom.

  Seconds later she’s in the room and in my arms. She smells good; familiar. At the same time all my senses are opened up and nothing is holding back. The moment she’s in my arms I feel this heady rush of love like I have never experienced before. She’s the world to me…as strange as that sounds to me right now.

  “How was camp?” I ask her. I’m not sure how I knew to ask that, but I do. I also know I have missed her terribly. This was the first time she has been away from me for more than a sleepover at a friend’s house.

  “Mom!”

  “Oh sorry.” I realize I am still hugging her fiercely with both arms.

  “Geeze mom. I was only gone like, four days. You’d think I’d been away all summer which is what I wish would have happened! Camp Grendle would have been a million times better.”

  “Yes, but you’re only ten years old and I’m not ready to trust you to some strangers for that long.”

  “All the other girls were only ten too and their mom’s trusted the camp counselors, why couldn’t you?”

  “Alexa I don’t want to talk about this anymore. We’ve been over this a million times, as you’re so fond of saying. I promise I’ll take you camping in Yosemite next month. You’ll love it.”

  “Fine…bribe me with Yosemite.”

  She starts to walk away but I grab her once more and pull her close, savoring her smell, the feel of her in my arms, and the intense feelings of love not only do I have for her but I can feel the love she also has for me in her heart and I have to say, it’s the greatest thing in the world.

  I wake from my dream with a start! Abrupt
ly all those warm fuzzies I was experiencing are suddenly ripped from my chest! It feels like my soul has been torn out at the same. Now all I’ve got is this all too familiar, painful hollow feeling in my chest. I want that back; the warm fuzzies. I have to get it back! That was my daughter. Well, my daughter in the future. The one I won’t have should I get an abortion. I know I’m not ready to be a mother, but maybe in 8 months I can get ready. I don’t have a choice here. I am not willing to give up what I was feeling with my daughter in my arms. Without a doubt, for those few minutes she was the most precious thing in my universe and I would have done anything to keep her safe, and keeping her safe starts with me not getting an abortion. It begins with me going to the store to get pre-natal vitamins. I also have to call Dr. Henley to get a referral for a good pediatrician and a good OBGYN as well.

  I look around the bed I have been camped out on for over a week, drinking like a fish and eating shit. That has to stop! Alexa is growing in my belly right now and I’m not gonna fuck her life up by being selfish and drowning my feelings in a bottle.

  “Shit!” I need to get Cade on the phone and tell him he’s gonna be a father. He has the right to know; or does he? In my dream I was a single mother; I just knew it. Is the universe trying to tell me that my daughter needs to grow up away from the club and everyone in it? No…I believe Cade is a good person and he’ll do the right thing. He’s not like the other brothers, except for Shooter maybe. I grab my phone to call Cade, when a more urgent thought strikes me. I have to call my aunt. I want her to know I am finally going to have a baby and she’s going to be a…well a grandmother so to speak. I just hope to god she will know me and be lucid for the call.

  I dial her number and her caregiver answers the phone.

  “Hi, this is Morgan, who am I speaking to?”

  “Hello Ms. Swift, my name is Lucille. I’m your aunt’s new caregiver.”

  “What happened to the last one?”

  “Oh she’s still here. She just needed to cut back on her hours. It has been difficult here lately. Sadly your aunt has not been lucid since you called last and she has been very…abrasive to her caregivers.”

  I can feel my heart begin to sink into my shoes. It seems there will be very little chance of me being able to communicate with her, but I have to try.

  “Do you think you can get her to come to the phone? I’m pregnant and I just wanted to break the news to her. In fact, just in case I can’t get through to her, if you and her other helpers could try to communicate that to her I would be very grateful. If you do manage to get through to her please have her call me immediately. Oh, and tell her that my baby’s name is Alexa.”

  “I’ll…we’ll do our best Ms. Swift. Your aunt just wandered into the living room so I’m going to give her the phone. Good luck.”

  I wait for a couple seconds then I address my aunt.

  “Auntie, it’s me, Morgan.”

  “Who?” She asks.

  “It’s your daughter Morgan. I just wanted to tell you some wonderful news.”

  “There is no good news. That’s why I stopped watching television. There’s nothing but calamity and pestilence. Drought and famine have seized the land and the time is ripe for the anti-Christ to be born into the world.”

  Oh shit, this is bad; the anti-Christ? She’s never been very religious, so I have no idea where this is coming from. One of her caregivers must be reading her the bible or something.

  “Auntie, I just wanted to tell you I am having a baby girl. Her name is Alexa.”

  “Why the hell would you want to bring a baby into this world? Satan is on the loose and he’ll surely steal the child’s soul. Do you want to send a baby to hell young lady? I thought not!”

  Oh man…I can see why that other lady needed a break. I’d last all of about ten minutes then I’d be running for the door. But I have to try one more time.

  “Auntie, this is me Morgan. You remember me right?”

  “Are you in the scriptures young lady? Do you fear for your mortal soul?”

  “Auntie I just wanted to tell you I’m having a baby.” I try one last time.

  Maybe I should have taken her advice when we last talked. She told me to not call her ever again. Now this conversation today is gonna be etched in my memory for good. I’m about to try again when the phone disconnects. I sit for a minute pondering calling her back when she calls me.

  “Hi Auntie,” I say immediately hopeful.

  “Sorry Ms. Swift, it’s me Lucille. She threw the phone in the trash. We’ll do what we can to get it across to her about your baby but don’t expect too much. I’m afraid it’s too late.”

  “I understand Lucille. I just wish there was something I could do…”

  “Maybe there is.” Lucille begins. “Studies show that the more family is around the sick member, the more opportunities there are for her to be grounded in reality. If you could visit… or…maybe you. Well, it’s not my place to-”

  “To what?” I ask. “What are you trying to tell me? That I should be taking care of her, is that it?”

  “Well it can’t hurt. You could still have our help whenever you needed it. Having you around on a daily basis may just stimulate her memories and just maybe your daughter can grow up knowing the woman who helped raise her mom.”

  Holy fuck! The idea of me taking care of my aunt…wow! That’s…well that’s crazy. I don’t have… actually I do have the time now. Seeing how I’m gonna be off work for a while now I guess there’s a remote chance that could work. But I’m not moving down to LA. She’d have to be willing to move here. And that would mean new caregivers. I seriously doubt this would be a good idea. I’m sure when my aunt said I should become a better person she didn’t mean for me to be taking care of her.

  “Dammit!”

  The old me would have not even dreamed of doing this. But how can I become a better person when I refuse a golden opportunity to change my life and that of the one person left in this world that I love? I don’t have a choice here. I either am all talk or I walk the walk as they say and move my aunt up here to live with me. God knows I can afford it. I guess I better get my ass in gear. I gotta get ready for a baby and an aunt that acts like a baby. This should be interesting.

  It takes a week and a half to organize everything for my aunt to come live with me. I had to fill her prescriptions, change doctors, and give her caregivers a kind of severance pay for the sudden loss of employment. They were all very supportive, if a little skeptical, but they seemed to agree that this was probably the best thing for my aunt. They promised to be available by phone if I had any questions during what would probably be a difficult adjustment period for my aunt. Nobody likes change and people with Alzheimer’s seem to like it less than the rest of us. I had thought my giving her a ten day notice would be enough to wrap her brain around it but she was still completely confused when I picked her up on moving day.

  We arrive at my house late Monday evening. It’s been a long and trying trip. What should have taken six hours ended up taking nearly twelve? I very nearly didn’t get her out of Mac Donald’s when we stopped there for lunch. She ate slowly and methodically and then did not want to get back in the car. She wanted to stay there for dinner as well. Later a short potty break turned into an hour ordeal when I couldn’t get her to come out of the gas station bathroom. It was a single stall restroom but in retrospect, I should have insisted going in there with her. I had a hell of a time convincing the station attendant to force entry. I had to threaten to call the police to come and help me. After that experience no way was I going to stop for dinner. We found a KFC place with a drive through but while I was ordering our food she opens the door and steps out. That was one hell of a wild goose chase that lasted a good half hour or more. The next six hours of the trip pretty much was as crazy as the first six. No matter how many precautions I took she seemed to know how to get around them. What a fucking insidious disease Alzheimer’s is. When we finally roll into my driveway we are both bushe
d and she is nearly asleep on her feet. I leave all her stuff in the trailer I had rented and just put my aunt to bed. That’s the only part of the ordeal the went smoothly. I just said here’s where you get to sleep tonight. I’ll be in the room down the hall. I turned back the covers for her and she climbed in clothes and all. I could have insisted she get dressed for bed but I was so grateful she went peacefully no way was I going to jeopardize that. It’s nearly one in the morning when I finally lay my head on my pillow. Here’s hoping she sleeps in tomorrow.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Who The Hell Are You?

  The sound of breaking glass coming from the kitchen acts as my new alarm system. It tells me my aunt is no longer asleep in her bedroom. I jump out of bed, not bothering to cover myself up and go running down the hall in my bra and panties. I charge in just in time to see my aunt, also in her night clothes, throwing a plate on the floor which is already littered with broken crockery. I must have been sleeping like the dead to sleep through this. She looks up as I enter the kitchen, but I can tell she doesn’t recognize me. She holds up yet another plate in the air threatening to throw it.

  “Who the hell are you?” She shrieks.

  Yesterday she got it in her head that I was some representative from a nursing home near where she used to live. She was sure I was here to cart her off. After an intense screaming match she finally settled down, but she didn’t break anything. Now she’s scrutinizing the plate in her hand.

  “Where are the flowers? I had flowers on my plates! Who took the damn flowers off my plates?”

  I take a deep breath before answering her. “Auntie, those are my plates. Yours have flowers on them but mine do not.”

  She regards me now like you would a venomous viper had you run across one while belly crawling in tall grass. Any sudden moves on my part is gonna get a plate chucked in my direction I’m pretty sure.

  “You’re a damn liar, that’s what you are!”

  “Auntie, I’m sorry you feel that way but I thin-”