Old Lady (Iron Disciples Book 2)

by Daniella Tucci

  I’ll never forget the look on his face the moment he steps out of the truck and sees me for the first time. He looks stunned. His mouth drops open as his brain struggles to wrap itself around what he’s seeing. Then a hard steely look comes over his eyes and he’s at my side. The moment I feel his powerful arms around me I feel safe for the first time in…in days. He scoops me up in his arms and proceeds to carry me back to the SUV. I close my eyes but every time I do I see his brother’s body lying in a pool of blood at my feet. I jerk involuntarily and open my eyes again. I’m sitting in the back of the truck with Cade next to me. The look on his face just tears me up. I still haven’t seen myself in the mirror but I don’t have to. From the way he looked at me I could tell I have to be really fucked up. He would look at me for a second then have to look away. He would clench his fists and I could see the tightness of his jaws. His rage is building and pretty soon there’s going to be no stopping him and the club. I have to convince him not to react.

  “Where are you taking me?”

  “There’s a retired doctor who lives in Carmel. He’s a friend of the club. He’ll take care of you.”

  “And you?” I mumble.

  “I’m not going anywhere. Shooter finished the charity ride and I and a couple brothers stayed behind to look for you after you disappeared.”

  “How long?”

  “You’ve been missing for four days Morgan. I thought you were dead.”

  “And Eddie?”

  “What about him?”

  “Your brother…”

  “Yes he was my brother. And he was also willing to do just about anything to gain control of my club which he did. Now he’s gone. I can tell by that look that you want me to say something more. Am I just supposed to forgive and forget just because he died a horrible death? I don’t think so…Why are you shaking your head?”

  “He…saved me.”

  “He saved you? Looks like he stood by while you got your face kicked in. That’s what my loving brother would do.”

  I shake my head again, but I wonder if I should just keep my mouth shut. If I convince Cade to examine how he feels about his brother and he changes his feelings he may just go after the Cartel after all and that’s gonna cause a war that my just get me killed. But I can’t let him go to his grave thinking his brother sat back while I got my ass kicked. There needs to be a funeral fitting a patched member and president and the only way that’s happening is if I come clean about what Eddie did.

  I open my mouth to talk but Cade interrupts me.

  “You shouldn’t be talking Morgan. You probably got a busted jaw along with that broken nose of yours. Just try and relax. We’ll be at the doctor’s house in five minutes and he’ll give you something for the pain and to help you relax.”

  We get to the doctor’s house in short order. He takes one look at me and kicks it into high gear. I must really look like shit. They carry me to a spare room and lie me on the bed. The doctor walks out and Cade proceeds to undress me, and then covers me with a blanket. A few minutes later the doctor comes back in carrying a black medical bag. The first thing he does is produce two syringes.

  “One is for the swelling, and the other is morphine for the pain.” The doctor explains. ‘I’m going to keep you sedated for a few days so you can rest and heal. You should be in the hospital.”

  I shake my head vigorously.

  “Suit yourself then.”

  I feel a sharp pinch, then a delicious warm feeling creeps over me. I’m able to stay conscious for maybe a few seconds before the room begins to fade. I was told that I slept for seven days in a drug induced coma. That gave me a chance to heal and the horrible pain was reduced to a dull and tolerable ache. The next couple days are just plain boring. In fact the better I feel the more bored I get.

  One afternoon when I am sitting in the sun on the back porch I have an idea. I call out to Doctor Smith, not his real name I am sure, and he brings me some paper and a pen. It takes forever but I finally am able to put to words how Eddie saved my life. I want Cade to know about his brother’s sacrifice. It’s too late for the brothers to make up, but maybe Cade and his father can set aside old differences and start anew.

  Oddly enough, while I am writing the letter to Cade I get a letter from my Auntie. She doesn’t say much. Apparently Cade told her I was in a car accident and was healing fine. What is important is that in my aunt’s letter is one final letter from my mother. I open it with shaking hands and begin to read. I have to take several breaks to cry and then calm down before finishing it.

  My dearest daughter,

  If you’re reading this letter it means you’re about to become a mother. I can only guess what your life may be like now or the things you may be feeling, but if fear is one of those things then you can rest assured you’re perfectly normal. It’s a lot of responsibility, having a child, but I know you’ll be a great mother. Few people have the capacity for love and compassion that you do and it’ll serve you well as you parent your child. Raising you has been the greatest honor. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect child.

  I have made many mistakes with you and you’ll make some with yours. No matter what happens make sure your sons or daughters know how much you love them. If they know that, then you have succeeded as a mother. You can give them the world but if they don’t know you love them then it is worthless.

  As your mother I have tried to instill in you the values I feel are most important. I have done my best to teach you as much as I could and I am sorry that many of these life lessons had to be in pen and ink. This will probably be my last letter to you. I have to say goodbye at some point my dear daughter and this just feels like the right time to do it.

  My shaking hands drop the letter in my lap. My tear blurred eyes can no longer read her scrawling script. I grab a pillow and burry my face as I let go. I feel like my mother has just died. I guess in my heart she never really did, because of all the letters. It was like she’s been on this trip around the world or something, but now I know in my heart she really is gone. I scream into the pillow and cry bitterly for my dead mother. I cry for my daughter who’ll never meet the most amazing person I have ever known. I’ll save the letters I do have so she can read them and get to know her grandmother but it just won’t be the same. It takes me a few more minutes before I can calm down enough to read the rest of the letter.

  It has been my life’s greatest pleasure being your mother. I am so grateful my sister offered to raise you in my absence. If it wasn’t for her, losing you would have been much harder to bear. Everyone has their crosses to bear Morgan. Mine was to die before I could see you grow up. It would have been easy to grow bitter and angry, but I didn’t. I have learned that you create your own happiness. You will go through your own sorrows and it’s up to you how it shapes you. Will you be the person who lets tragedy ruin you or build you into a stronger person; the choice is yours to make and sometimes you have to make it over and over every day until it sticks. I hope I have been able to be a good example to you in the short time I was given. You certainly have been a great example of what a good daughter can be.

  No matter what happens or what you do in life you could never make me not love you. I only want you to be happy. Thank you for everything my dearest daughter.

  With much love and respect,

  Mom

  I burry my face in my pillow again and let the pain of my loss overtake me. I let it chew me up and swallow me. I let it destroy my heart and fill my soul with blackness…but only for a time.

  When I look up again the sun has gone down and my room is dark. I get up and turn on the light. Now that my head, heart, and soul, is clear and grounded, I need to write a letter to Cade. It’s time he learned what his brother did for me and it’s high time he spoke to his dad and made amends for his part in everything that contributed to the brokenness of his family; but it starts with me, and I too have a lot to apologize for.

  I pick up my pen and a couple sheets of lined paper.
I have no idea how much space I’ll need or how long it’s going to take me to do this so I get comfortable for the long haul.

  Dear Cade,

  It’s high time I unburdened my soul to you. If we’re going to do this…set up house, raise a child together, then there can be no secrets between us and no holding back. So tonight I bare my soul to you and hope you don’t crush my fragile heart in response.

  Let me first talk about your brother Eddie. He has changed. He is not the same brother you grew up with. Right now all you can see is the angry, vengeful, hurting, brother who betrayed you and took your club from you.

  When the cartel kidnapped me and your brother their original plan was to kill me as a payback for some guy’s cousin that you and your brother killed. They settled on me because they figured it wouldn’t cause too much blowback. At least that sounded like what was going on.

  Eddie saved my life Cade! They were hell bent on giving someone a brutal death and Eddie made sure it was his life they took. He didn’t have to do that but he did and he arrived at that decision with no help on my part.

  You need to set aside your feelings for your brother and give him the honor and respect he deserves. I don’t know what the club protocol is when a president dies, but you need to observe that. I don’t want my daughter being brought up by a vengeful man who couldn’t even forgive his own flesh and blood. I am changing my life and you need to examine yours and do what is best for our daughter.

  I assume by now you have taken control of the club. You need to get us out of the war that’s brewing. I don’t want my daughter to grow up without her father. I grew up without my father did I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Think of your daughter. Think of me and my aunt. We are your family now. If you’re not ready for that responsibility let me know so I can do what I need to do to raise my daughter in a safe environment.

  You’re a good man Cade and I know you’ll make the right decision. You will make a great father if you choose to wear that hat. I am doing my best become a better person and I want to be with a man who supports my efforts and is willing to make changes for his family.

  I love you Cade and I am proud to be your old lady. Take care of business and when it’s safe you can come and get your new family.

  Love Morgan and Alexa

  I stand up and stretch. I pace around the small guest room for a minute before sitting back down at the desk. Writing letters seemed to be cathartic for my mother so maybe it’s time to follow in her footsteps. I don’t know if I will ever see Cade again but if I don’t I’m going to have to make it okay for my daughter. I take a deep breath and let out again slowly. Here it goes…

  My dearest Alexa,

  At the time of this writing you have yet to be brought into this world. I am writing to you so that you will know your family and learn from the painful things we have gone through.

  I want to tell you about your father. I don’t know if you will ever get to know him and if you don’t, please try not to hold that against him. It’s not always easy being a good person and I think your father is finding that out now. He’s a good man and no man will ever love you like he does. One day you will learn that every human being on this earth has the capacity to do good and to do evil. Most of us choose to do good and on occasion a little less than good. I have spent much of my adulthood as a selfish and self- centered person with little redeemable qualities and it has been hard to get in touch with my other self.

  You should know that money isn’t everything. In fact, it usually is responsible for what is bad about the world we live in. I should know. Money used to be my god and Capital America my church and I spent my entire life going to services. Then at the top of my career I met your father. I made all the wrong decisions and eventually lost everything including myself. I understand this is a lot of vague information but as I write more letters it will all start to make some sense.

  I want you to know I am so proud to be your mother and I already love you with all my heart. Never forget, everything comes and goes but family is forever.

  Love,

  Mom

  THE END