The Ultra Fabulous Glitter Squadron Saves the World Again

by A. C. Wise

  Starlight does. She puts her arms out to the side and the fabric spins with her, lifting from her thighs and sending light whirling around the room. For just a moment, the universe is all around her, and she’s flying through it so fast that nothing can stop her. Tears spring to Starlight’s eyes, and this time, she does nothing to stop them.

  “Thank you,” she says, breathless, throwing her arms around Esmeralda’s neck.

  “You look lovely.” Bunny’s voice startles her, and Starlight steps back.

  Bunny’s long, elegant frame leans in the doorway, her arms crossed, a gentle smile on her lips. Her eyes are blue today, shading toward green, an impossible jewel color that makes Starlight think of tropical seas. She feels plain and awkward again, uncertain what to do with her hands.

  “There’s just one thing missing,” Bunny says, and holds out her hand, adding, “Come on, I won’t bite,” when Starlight hesitates.

  Hand in Bunny’s, Starlight is sharply aware of her bitten nails where she couldn’t hold back her nerves any longer. She lets Bunny lead her to the vanity just outside the closet, Esmeralda trailing behind to observe. With gentle pressure on her shoulders, Bunny guides Starlight to sit on the plush seat facing a mirror surrounded in soft, rose-colored bulbs.

  “Scoot back a bit.” Bunny adjusts her so there’s room between the table and Starlight, then opens what looks like a tackle box.

  It unfolds and unfolds and unfolds, revealing rows of glittering, shimmering, silky make-up. Compacts and brushes and tubes of lipstick, more than Starlight has ever seen, putting her own dollar-store cosmetic collection to shame. Starlight’s eyes prickle again, and she shakes her head.

  “I couldn’t…”

  “Shh,” Bunny says. “Trust me.”

  Obediently, Starlight closes her eyes, holding very still. Her body aches with the lack of motion, a sudden fear that the dream will vanish around her, the Glitter Squadron will send her back home. A soft brush traces the contours of cheekbones, feather-light, layering foundation and power. Her eyes come next, and Starlight fights the urge to bite her lip. Bunny works from the inside corner of Starlight’s eyes outward, lining, tracing, blending. Starlight never knew there were so many kinds of make-up, or ways it could be so complicated and subtle, fierce and simple all at once.

  Her lips come last, and when it’s all done, she feels Bunny step back, examining her critically, an artist at her canvas. Starlight is afraid to open her eyes.

  “What do you think, Es?” Bunny asks.

  “A masterpiece.”.

  “You’re going to have to open your eyes eventually, sweetie,” Bunny says. “It’s hard to save the world with them closed.”

  Starlight lets out a breath, eyes flying open. She barely recognizes the girl in the mirror. A roller girl. A stardust creature made of cosmic glitter from the beginning of the world. A princess.

  “I… Oh.” Words fail her. Bunny squeezes her shoulder, watching their reflections side by side in the mirror.

  A wild thought spins through Starlight’s head that maybe, one day, she’ll grow up to be as poised and as perfect as Bunny.

  “What about shoes?” Esmeralda asks. “I’m sure we can find something in your size. What are you, a ten? Eleven?”

  Starlight shakes her head; she would cry again, but it would ruin her make-up. Instead, she grins, thinking of white boots, freshly-repaired red wheels, and crisp new laces.

  “It’s okay, I brought my own.”

  THIS IS THE ULTRA FABULOUS GLITTER SQUADRON, AND THEY’RE

  here to save the world.

  Bunny is in front, wearing chunky, silver-heeled boots that reach thigh-high, real diamonds winking in the soft, white rabbit ears peeking from her blonde bouffant. Penny and Esmeralda flank her, in copper and green. Behind them are Ruby and Sapphire, the not-so-twin-twins. The Squadron’s jewel-tones glow bright, and Starlight circles them all, spinning like a disco-ball in her roller skates, keeping in constant motion so the panic doesn’t set in.

  Bunny carries, of all things, a harpoon. It’s custom-made, with rabbits going at it in the manner rabbits do carved all along the wooden shaft.

  Esmeralda carries what looks to Starlight a lot like Wonder Woman’s lariat of truth crossed with Indiana Jones’ whip, a giant faux-emerald topping the handle. It’s currently coiled at her hip but it looks to Starlight like a cobra, waiting to strike.

  Penny carries more weapons than Starlight has ever seen, pistols, knives, and what Penny fondly refers to as a Big Fucking Gun, even brass knuckles and a set of throwing stars.

  “She’s a black belt in every form of martial arts there is,” Esmeralda whispers when she catches Starlight staring. “Black sash, too.”

  Starlight swallows hard. She can’t tell from Esmeralda’s deadpan expression whether she’s joking, and she doesn’t want to find out. There are no weapons visible on Ruby or Sapphire, but looking at them, she’s relatively sure either one of them could kill her with their bare hands.

  She feels woefully under-prepared, even though Bunny assured her that the Glitter Squadron had been watching her for much longer than the one night she saw Penny. That was just the first time she’d noticed. “You’ve been protecting the kids at the RollerRama ever since you took the job.” Bunny had told her. “You can do this.”

  Starlight wants to believe in Bunny’s pep talk, but she isn’t sure she does. Her mama has an old hunting rifle but Starlight was emphatic growing up she had no interest in learning how to shoot. She’d always trusted Mama to protect her, but now it’s her turn and Starlight is on the front lines, the one expected to help save the day.

  “It’s this way.” Penny points, waving a hand-held device with light-up buttons and a glowing screen. An antenna protrudes from the top, and every now and then it makes a soft beeping sound.

  They round the corner and Starlight’s breath catches. She’s been so focused on not throwing up, or tripping, or finding some other way to ruin everything, she hasn’t been paying attention to her surroundings.

  “That’s the RollerRama.” It glows softly, and Starlight’s heart squinches.

  “Maybe the aliens are here to steal our disco music,” Sapphire says.

  “It’s not what’s in the RollerRama, it’s what’s under it.” Penny pokes at the device in her hand, frowning, the tone of its beeping more urgent now. “There are old mining tunnels leading straight here, but there was a major collapse in the fifties and the whole operation was shut down. There’s are major untapped deposits of—”

  But whatever Penny was about say is cut off, lost in the B-movie, science-fiction woo-woo-woo noise of three saucer-shaped spaceships dropping from the sky.

  Starlight tries to scramble back, forgetting for a moment she’s on wheels. Her skates nearly go out from under her, but Esmeralda is there, keeping her upright.

  Even with her feet firmly under her, Starlight can’t move. She can only gape at the spinning ships. The multicolored lights ringing them spark off Starlight’s dress, bouncing and refracting until she really does look like a disco ball. All at once she’s back at Cindy Williams’ birthday party, just a boy in a tutu, spinning out of control at the end of a line of seven-year old children intent on hurting her.

  Starlight’s knees knock together, something she thought only happened in Scooby Doo cartoons. “I can’t do this,” she thinks, maybe even mouths, but it all comes out as a wheeze of air with barely any words at all.

  The door of the lead spaceship opens. The bubble domes topping them are tinted dark, hiding the interior so no one expects what emerges.

  “Fucking space eels.” Penny draws a pistol, but doesn’t fire, waiting on Bunny’s signal.

  “Let’s give them a chance to talk.” Bunny holds her hand up, nails winking in the multicolored lights.

  She steps forward, grip tight on her harpoon. Starlight watches open-mouthed. Bunny’s legs aren’t shaking; her head is held high. The leader of the Ultra Fabulous Glitter Squadron doesn’t show t
he slightest sign of fear, as though a trio of six-foot-long floating eels, crackling with blue and purple electricity, is no more of a big deal than running out of cereal.

  Bunny’s voice rings over the woo-woo of the spaceships and the electric crackle of the eels.

  “We are the Ultra Fabulous Glitter Squadron. If you come to this planet in peace, consider us your official welcoming committee. If you’re here to do harm, then I suggest you turn your squirmy bodies right back around, get in your spaceships, and go the fuck home.”

  The eels pulse, rills of energy shifting from blue to purple and back again. Tiny specks of light, like minnows, dart around the eels, clustering around first one then the other, forming patterns than might be words. One eel glides slightly ahead of the others, opening its mouth to show vicious, needle teeth, but otherwise makes no response.

  Bunny grips her harpoon so tight Starlight can see the white of her knucklebones straining the skin.

  “All right. You had your chance.” Bunny hefts the harpoon, spinning it deftly before pointing it at the eels. “Oh, and a word of warning—we fight like girls.”

  Bunny lets the harpoon fly. A cheer rises in Starlight’s throat, but before it can break free, several things happen simultaneously. The lead eel whips around, Bunny’s harpoon sails past it harmlessly, and its tail catches Bunny with a casual flick, sending her flying backward. The world goes violet-tinted white, searing the air with the scent of lightning, and Starlight is temporarily blinded. Penny yells, and as Starlight blinks away the afterimage of Bunny flying through the air, Penny fires her pistol, charging forward.

  The firefly lights swarm Penny and she whirls and whirls, fighting them off. Esmeralda kneels, touching Bunny’s throat. Her kohl lined eyes are stricken and wide, but she nods at Starlight.

  “She’s breathing. Go help Penny.”

  Ruby and Sapphire have already launched into action. Despite the height disparity, they move in perfect synchronicity. Sapphire dodges every move the eel in front of her makes, her lithe body moving like liquid. The eel lunges, showing teeth, growing more agitated. Bolts of electricity sear the ground, but none touch Sapphire. And while Sapphire holds the creature’s attention, Ruby slips up silently, and the next time Sapphire glides out of the way, she’s waiting.

  Ruby brings her hands together with a sound like a thunderclap. The eel’s skull, caught between them, crumples like a paper bag. Its body twitches once, the sinuous length of it going stiff for a moment, snapping straight out like a wind-caught flag, before it coils uselessly to the ground. Ruby parts her palms and grins, blowing delicately on her smoking skin.

  Starlight gapes. All of this happens incredibly fast and incredibly slow, and she still hasn’t moved. Penny is forcing a second eel back, despite the darting minnow lights surrounding her. A gliding motion, a shadow pouring itself through the air catches Starlight’s attention. The first eel, the one that knocked Bunny down is ribboning its way to her fallen form.

  A warning shout freezes in Starlight’s throat. Blind panic slams her heart against her ribs. A sound escapes her, more whimper than shout, but the eel whips around to face her. For a moment its eyes lock on her, gleaming malevolent light. It drops its jaw, showing wicked teeth in what Starlight can only assume is a grin. It darts toward her, and before she can react beyond throwing her arms up to shield her face, it’s past her.

  Stunned, Starlight pirouettes on her wheels. The eel is ignoring her, ignoring the rest of the Glitter Squadron, and heading straight for the RollerRama, her RollerRama. Starlight’s throat unlocks all at once, with a wordless cry of rage.

  She pushes off, wheels humming, gathering speed. She grabs the eel by the tail, ignoring the kick of electricity spiking up her arm. The eel thrashes, teeth snapping. Starlight’s momentum carries her, dragging the eel in her wake. The teeth miss her by feet as she yanks hard; the eel’s head jerks around with the force.

  A glittering swarm of minnows breaks away from Penny, whirling around Starlight. They whine their distress, darting, nipping. Stars, Starlight thinks, ignoring the pain. Just like the disco ball. Just like the universe holding her in its arms. She knows just what to do. She spins.

  The lights whirl around her and Starlight stretches her arms straight out in front of her, still holding onto the eel. Centrifugal force spins them, so fast she almost loses control. Everything blurs—the night, the pulsing lights of the spaceship, the firefly minnows swarming around her. The electric surge of the eel crackles through her, igniting her bones, but it’s growing weaker. The blood rushes from her head, pressure building with the spin force. Meteors streak in the corner of her vision, and just when she’s about to black out, Starlight lets go.

  The eel goes flying, crashing into the nearest of the three spaceships. There’s a sickening crunch. The ship wobbles, knocked off course, the woo-woo turning into a high-pitched whine. Smoke sizzles from beneath the edges of the darkened dome. As if responding to some primal programming, the other two craft edge away.

  The spaceship’s wobble gets worse, the craft struggling to right itself. Then, boom! A whump of displaced air, a shower of sparks, and a smell like burning seaweed. Starlight throws her arms over her face, her body heaving with exertion. Chunks of burning shrapnel rain down, barely missing her. One lands by the toe of her skate, smoking. When she lowers her arms, the ship is nothing but a puff of smoke and the other two are rising rapidly, the woo-woo of their engines sped to a panicked sound-the-retreat alarm.

  Silence. The rush of Starlight’s blood fills her ears. She stares after the retreating multicolored lights until they vanish. A ragged cheer goes up and Penny, Ruby, and Sapphire swarm her, slapping her on the back and hugging her. Trembling shakes her from head to toe and won’t stop. Her knees fold, but Ruby is there to catch her, lowering her gently to the ground.

  “Easy there, hon.” Ruby grins. Starlight stares up at them, the ring of three faces looking down at her. Ruby and Sapphire smile openly, their eyes shining. Penny lifts just the corner of her mouth, keeping her arms crossed.

  “You did good, kid,” Penny says finally when Ruby digs an elbow into her ribs.

  To Starlight’s left, Esmeralda helps Bunny sit up. Bunny pats her hair, smoothing frosted blonde strands back into place and checking her ears. She shakes herself once, like a dog shedding water.

  “We did it?” Starlight asks. Her voice sounds strange and far away.

  “We did it,” Bunny says. “You did it.”

  Esmeralda leaves Bunny, who is climbing to her feet, and crouches beside Starlight. “Think you can stand up, sweetie?”

  Starlight, still dazed, lets Esmeralda help her stand. Ruby hovers nearby, ready to catch her if she falls again. As soon as she’s up, Bunny surprises Starlight with a hug that nearly lifts her off her feet.

  “Welcome to the team,” she whispers.

  “Really?” Starlight asks as Bunny eases off and steps back to give her space. “You mean it?” Starlight glances at Penny, and Penny shrugs.

  “Congratulations,” Esmeralda says, her smile relieved and genuine. Sapphire squeezes her shoulder, and Ruby punches Starlight’s upper arm as gently as she can, which still causes Starlight to stagger on her wheels.

  “But I panicked.” The words rush out of Starlight before she can stop them. “I almost got you killed. And what if they come back? What if they’re angry?”

  Starlight struggles not to hyperventilate. She blinks her long lashes so fast the ring of Glitter Squadron faces surrounding her blur. Any moment now, Bunny will realize she made a huge mistake, and it will be back to trays full of strawberry milkshakes and Dean and his crew hurling insults at her.

  Bunny puts an arm around Starlight’s shoulders in a way that reminds her of her mama—a bit stronger, where her mama’s coughing fits have left her weak, and smelling of lilac instead of cigarettes. For a moment, Starlight feels like a traitor for even thinking it. Everything is different now. She can never go home, not really. She’s fought space eels; she
is a princess and a cosmic roller girl. Her mama’s trailer and the RollerRama will feel so small now. Bunny gives Starlight’s shoulder a squeeze, bringing her back, and Starlight manages a smile. It’s different, but her mama will always be her mama, and the more time she spends with the Glitter Squadron, the stronger Starlight will get, and the better she’ll be at keeping her mama safe. The world is different now, but Bunny’s arm around her shoulders still feels like home.

  “If that happens,” Bunny says, “then you’re guaranteed job security.”

  Pour rosewater and peach schnapps into a champagne flute, and top with champagne. Float rose petals in the glass to garnish.

  This drink is sweet, inoffensive, and sparkly, just like our Starlight. Honestly, I was tempted to make her drink a virgin. Oh, that’s catty, isn’t it? She’s a sweet kid, I love her, but sometimes she’s so naïve. If she just learned to step up and assert herself… Well, she is learning. She’s got a bit of hero worship when it comes to Bunny, and it’s doing her a world of good, if you ask me. Maybe for both of them. Bunny needs someone to look out for, to take under her wig. Oops, I mean wing. Oh, I’m bad, aren’t I?

  THE GRILL HAS BEEN OFF FOR OVER AN HOUR BUT THE NARROW GALLEY-style kitchen still stinks of grease, strong enough for Ruby to feel it at the back of her throat. Every minute or so she has to stop scrubbing and wipe sweat from her forehead with her uniform sleeve. Under the grease is the scent of bleach from the freshly-mopped floors, just now drying under her aching feet. All the other girls are gone. Somehow, once again, she drew the short straw and got stuck doing an extra hour’s cleaning, when it would take them less than half the time if they all pitched in.

  It’s Friday night, and of course Layla and Jenny assumed she had nothing better to do. What else could the fat girl possibly have planned besides watching The Amazing Race and Real Housewives of Orange County and Wipeout on television while eating a pint of ice cream? Which, when Ruby thinks about it, sounds killer next to Jenny’s plan of letting her going-nowhere loser boyfriend feel her up in the back of a darkened movie theater, even though she hates reality television. Or Layla’s plan to spend a few hours in a seedy roadside motel with the sweaty, grunting man who is using her to cheat on his wife.