See You In My Dreams

by Marie-Nicole Ryan

  Alexa grabbed Nikki's hand and begged, “Don't go.” She turned and grabbed her father's hand too. “Daddy, she doesn't have to leave, does she? She can stay here, tonight, at least?"

  “Of course, Nikki may stay, if she wishes?” Max asked, lifting a questioning eyebrow in her direction.

  She glanced from Max to Alexa. Part of her wanted to stay, but she hedged and replied, shrugging, “I just thought the two of you might need some of that father-daughter quality time."

  Max fixed his gaze on her. “But you are a member of the family.” He stuck his hands into his pockets, a wry grin on his lips. “Actually, I have a proposition for you."

  “A proposition?” What was he up to now? The twinkle in his green eyes ... and the half-smile playing about his lips told her he had hatched up some kind of plan.

  “Since you're selling your apartment and beach house, I thought maybe you might like to move in here and be Alexa's companion—for the summer."

  “What?” she gasped. Never in a million years—

  “Daddy!” Alexa squealed at the same time, clearly delighted by the idea. Dancing with excitement, she turned to Nikki. “Say yes,” she urged. “Please, please say yes."

  “You would really be doing both of us a tremendous favor. We've been at loose ends since Maman died, and since you are going to find another place to live, anyway...” Max shrugged. “You would be free to write, and it would be a homelike atmosphere for Alexa. You would have your privacy. In fact, Maman's suite would be ideal. And Alexa really needs you."

  Please say yes,” Alexa persisted. “I hate being away at school."

  Nikki looked from one pair of green eyes to the other. One set of eyes implored her to say yes. The other sent a more obscure message—one she wasn't quite sure how to interpret. She felt trapped, and she was. Max wasn't playing fair. “I'll think about it,” she said slowly. “Will Alexa finish the school term at Wintercrest?"

  Max nodded. “If they'll take her back."

  “I need some time to close the condo and cottage."

  “Alexa has three more weeks of school. Is that enough time?"

  “Barely.” An unexpected chill skittered from Nikki's neck down her spine. Misgivings be damned, she thought. She'd do it. “All right."

  “Cool!” Alexa squealed. “I promise I'll be an angel. I won't be any trouble, and we'll have such fun."

  “Thank you,” he said with a smile, then turned to his daughter. “Nikki and I need to talk. Why don't you go upstairs and find something to do. Afterwards, I'll take you both to dinner."

  “Okay, Dad.” Alexa gave her father a hug and skipped from the room.

  Max waited until his daughter left the room, then sat down behind his desk, a self-satisfied smile across his handsome face.

  Nikki couldn't believe her eyes. Max had manipulated the situation like a pro. Once there was no risk of Alexa's overhearing, she turned on him. “You don't play fair."

  Max narrowed his eyes, giving a half smile. “No, I don't. And you will do well to remember that in the future,” he warned, still grinning, his voice seductive.

  She sputtered, “W-we're going to have some ground rules. This is not a permanent situation. You need to know that right up front."

  “Don't you want to help us? This is such a difficult time,” he said.

  Damn, if she couldn't see the twinkle in his eyes. She hesitated, remembering how much she owed him. But this was emotional blackmail. “Of course, I want to help you, but I don't like being manipulated. You used my feelings for Alexa, and you know it."

  “Yes, I did. So, tell me about these ground rules,” he challenged, leaning back in his chair, with his hands clasped behind his head.

  Damn the man. He had her over a barrel and he was enjoying it. What's worse, he didn't care that she knew. “Well—uh—"

  “Just say yes."

  “I-I have to have time to write.”

  “Pas de problem. I have a cleaning lady once a week. All you have to do is be here for Alexa, be her friend and mentor.” He paused, smiled crookedly. “Do for her what Maman did for you."

  “You really know how to apply the screws, don't you?"

  "Naturellement."

  Did he have any idea how his use of French discombobulated her? The very timbre of his voice changed, became softer ... sexier.

  “Well..."

  Max shrugged and smiled. “It will also give us time to,” he paused, elevating his left eyebrow, then continued, “become better friends. What do you think?"

  What did she think? She thought he'd maneuvered her until she was between a rock and a hard place. Wrong term, best not go there. Difficult, yes, that's what she meant.

  “Well, what do you say?"

  Instead of speaking her mind, she nodded. “I suppose it might work, but if it doesn't? What about Alexa? She's like my little sister, but I don't want her to end up hating me."

  “I don't think that's likely to happen."

  Nikki's will weakened under Max's reassuring smile. “I did have an idea about doing something with Alexa this summer, but I wanted to clear it with you first."

  “Really?” Max asked, his expression curious.

  “Yes, I'm going to volunteer at one of the homeless shelters downtown, and I'd like Alexa to go with me. Sort of find out what it's like for others not as fortunate as she is."

  Surprise flashed over Max's face, followed by a smile. “You never cease to amaze me. It's a wonderful idea."

  She couldn't help but be pleased by Max's approval. “It's time I gave something back. To the community—and to you. This way, I can do both."

  “If that's what you want to do, then you should do it.” His face grew pensive. “You know I've never regretted your knocking me down."

  “I never knocked you down and you know it."

  Max's gaze locked with hers. The atmosphere changed, felt charged, as though lightning were about to strike. Nikki broke first and changed the subject. “Alexa is a beautiful young girl,” she said carefully, knowing she broached a very touchy subject. “Mario is just the first."

  He shut his eyes for a moment and sighed. “I'm not ready to think of my daughter as anything other than my little girl.” He stood up. “According to her friend at school, Alexa has been sneaking out to meet Mario for the last month,” he said, his lips tightening with disapproval. “That young man is entirely too old for her. I shall forbid her to see him."

  Nikki laughed, then shook her head. “No way. That's the quickest way to guarantee she'll fall in love with him. I'd suggest no unsupervised dates. That way Mario will get tired of being chaperoned and start dating someone his age.

  He chuckled. “You have a very devious mind. I think you'll do very well at mentoring."

  “Don't forget, I had a good teacher in Maman."

  “We both did, although I'm afraid I didn't listen to her nearly as often as I should have."

  “Neither did I,” she said with a short laugh, and amazingly she couldn't recall ever feeling so comfortable with Max. He was certainly doing everything to make her feel that way, asking her advice and offering confidences. In spite of herself, she found herself relaxing.

  “Solange and I were married too young. We wouldn't listen to our parents, either. I have always felt responsible for her death. I regret so many things."

  “But she died in a car accident. Why should you feel responsible?"

  “Now you sound like the Inspector who interrogated me."

  “The police were really involved? Now I'm curious.” Nikki sat down on the sofa. Max in a talkative mood? She found him entirely too charming ... and distracting. “Sorry, I'm being nosy. It's really none of my business.” She'd never believed the agency gossip about Max's dark past. Not her knight in shining armor.

  Max sighed. “Solange was killed in an automobile accident ... with her lover."

  “Oh.” What else could she say? Why did life have to be so complicated? Poor Max.

  He sat down in a chair ac
ross from her, then continued, “I was young. I concentrated more on my career than my marriage. I took my wife for granted. I worked long hours, usually seven days a week.

  “But most successful business men work long hours. You did it for your family."

  “The nature of my work drove her crazy. For all her beauty, Solange was very insecure. She hated the fact that I was surrounded by beautiful women all day, and she became irrational when I was late or missed a family dinner. I suppose it was inevitable.” Max shrugged. “She turned to someone she met at school—one of her professors. They died together."

  “But why the police? It was an accident."

  Max's lips tightened into a rueful grimace. “When the police investigated the accident, they discovered someone had tampered with the brakes. I had an alibi, but the inspector believed I paid someone. He hounded me for a year, then I moved the agency here to New York. There was nothing tying me to the accident, but it made no difference to the Inspector."

  Nikki sat stunned. “I had no idea the situation was so difficult,” she said. “How terrible for you."

  “It's over."

  “Did they ever find...?"

  “No, never."

  Nikki shook her head. “So, it's really not over."

  He stood up and walked toward her. “It's over because I choose to go forward and not look back."

  “That's best.” At his approach, Nikki grew apprehensive, her heart rate picked up, an insistent hammer in her chest. What was he up to now?

  He took another step, taking her right hand in his. “I'm very glad you're coming to stay with us."

  The sound of his voice, hoarse with emotion, the touch of his strong hands holding hers, sent her heart rate into the stratosphere. She swallowed. “I am too.” Summoning her resolve, she withdrew her hand from his. “This is exactly what we have to guard against."

  “What this?” he asked, an innocent altar-boy expression playing across his face.

  “Touching, being too close. I'm staying here to help you with Alexa. That's all."

  He took a step closer. “Are you absolutely certain that's the only reason?"

  Nikki retreated a step, her voice faltering. “Y-yes."

  “All right, I won't harass you, but I warn you,” he said with a grin. “I'm not immune to you."

  Unable to meet his gaze, she took a deep breath in an attempt to steady her ragged breathing.

  “Can you truthfully say that I don't affect you?” Max asked.

  “No. That's why we have to have rules. It wouldn't be proper, otherwise."

  Max threw back his head and laughed. “No, my sweet urchin from the streets, it certainly wouldn't be proper.” He took her face between his hands and kissed her lips, a long slow lingering kiss that left her weak in the knees.

  She had to resist. “Max, please,” she groaned. Damn the man. He certainly kissed like he meant business.

  “I know. I guess we have to watch that too. I couldn't resist just once.” Max chuckled, then turned and walked away, leaving her standing in the study with her mouth gaping like an air-starved guppy.

  Hopeless. She'd given Max her word, but he wasn't playing play fair. One kiss and he had her trembling—from her dizzy head to her curling toes. What would happen if he stopped teasing and pursued her in earnest? She'd be putty in his hands, that's what.

  ~ * ~

  Nikki fled to the safety of her old room. She leaned against the door, forcing herself to take slow deep breaths. The more she recalled the last exchange with Max, the angrier she became. He was insufferable and arrogant to boot. The nerve of the man. He'd appeared quite pleased with himself too.

  Once again, he'd thrown her off-balance. Through the years, he'd been a kind man, a true gentleman. He'd always treated her with respect—sort of like a niece. Of course, if she were absolutely honest, she would have to admit she'd never thought of him as an uncle. Not with the dreams she'd had. No, Max was definitely not uncle material.

  Now, he'd finagled her into an impossible position. And like a true dimwit, she'd agreed to move into the townhouse to be there for Alexa. Her word was given, but she wasn't about to let Max Devereaux translate it into a surrender.

  Throwing herself across the bed, she hugged a pillow to her chest. The conflict might just tear her apart. The sight of Max chatting so comfortably with Mario's mother had unlocked pangs of jealousy. It was an unnerving experience, to say the least.

  Okay. So she wasn't making sense, even to herself. Why was she so reluctant to accept Max's attentions? Especially when she'd had X-rated dreams about him for years.

  Granted, being date-raped had left her wary of the entire male gender. The other side of the argument was Max's reputation with women. Gossip was plentiful at the agency, but she'd never paid much attention—unless it concerned Max. The boss didn't date any of the agency models, but that left at least a million viable candidates in New York City alone. Over the past ten years, she'd often seen him in the society columns photographed with a variety of women. But ‘love'em and leave'em Max’ never committed and never took anyone home to meet Maman. That much Nikki knew for sure.

  Another thing Nikki knew for sure. She couldn't bear being another one of Max's flavors of the week. And she had no reason to believe she would be anything else, just because they'd shared a delightful dinner at the beach house. He'd been charming, but Max was always charming. His smooth European manner was his most singular attribute. Women were attracted to him like flies to honey. And here she was trapped—and up to her knees in the honey.

  She reached over and picked up the phone and dialed her best friend. Come on, pick up the phone. Marti could give her a reality check like no one else. For all her distinguished forebears Martha Lodge Alden was a very practical and down-to-earth person. Nikki held her breath as the phone rang four, then five times.

  “Hello,” came the breathless and familiar voice.

  “Hi."

  “Nik. Where are you?"

  “I'm at Max's."

  “Well, that's certainly an improvement over the last time we talked. Spill. What's happened? I thought Max was in France."

  “Long story. Why don't we have dinner tonight, and I'll tell you all about it, ‘kay?"

  Marti paused. “All right. Want to come over here? Tom has a meeting, so we can have a real girl session. Simone is planning a cold dinner for me. She can just as easily make it for two. Around eight?"

  “Great. Eight, it is.” Nikki replied, unable to keep a note of satisfaction from her voice. She'd show Max Devereaux she was still an independent woman with friends and a life of her own.

  ~ * ~

  Nikki walked into Max's book-lined study. “I'm having dinner with Marti tonight."

  “Fine. Have dinner with whomever you wish,” he replied, watching her from behind his desk. “But, I thought you would enjoy—"

  “Stop it right now. Don't you even think about laying a guilt trip on me, Max Devereaux. Alexa isn't in the room. You and I both know what this is about.” She paced as she spoke, pointing a finger in his face.

  She watched for his reaction. He arched an eyebrow. Damn the man. He couldn't keep the glint of amusement from his eyes.

  “And what is this about?” he asked, his voice husky. The sound of it weakened her knees. What if he was thinking of kissing her again? What if he wasn't?

  Max answered for her. “Yes, it's about you and me. For some reason you've decided you don't want a closer relationship with me. But...” he gave an exaggerated shrug, before continuing, “...I always thought that we had a certain connection—one that transcended our age difference.” He rose from his chair and walked over to her. “Was I mistaken?"

  He stood mere inches from her. Nikki had to concentrate in order to move the air in and out of her lungs. “Stop it,” she gasped. “I don't know. Don't you understand? I simply don't know what I want. Until I do...” She threw up her hands and ran from the study.

  ~ * ~

  Puzzled, Max ask
ed the empty room, “What next?” The more he pressed Nikki, the more she resisted. Maneuvering her into living with him and Alexa might not have been such a smart move after all. She seemed more determined than ever to place barriers between them. Had any man ever made his intentions clearer? “If you were only here, Maman,” he murmured, looking up at her portrait, which graced the wall of his study.

  The unalterable truth was his mother was not here. And he was a thirty-nine year old man, who ought to be able to win the heart of the woman he loved.

  Some things were meant to be—karma, kismet or fate. Didn't matter what it was called. From their first meeting, he'd been haunted by Nikki—the wide blue eyes, the self-deprecating sense of humor; and last but not least, her pretense of being tough and unaffected by the deprivations of her early life. That night had changed their lives, but she'd been so young. Since then he'd marked time, waiting for her to grow up.

  Had he waited too long? Had he wasted ten years of his life waiting for a relationship never meant to be? Had he overlooked other relationships which might have led to happiness? Was his fear of losing control so great he preferred to wait for the unobtainable rather than face life as it came? The questions he asked were difficult; he had no ready answers.

  Max paced back and forth in his study. If Nikki wanted nothing to do with him, why should he postpone life? Let her struggle to find herself. She could damn well do it alone.

  He walked to the desk and stared at the telephone. He reached for it, but still he hesitated. Should he make a phone call that might change his life, or should he be patient with Nikki a little longer? Recalling Lorena Judson's dark brown eyes and attractive face, he dialed Information and asked for her number. He made a note of the number, but was powerless to banish Nikki's image from his mind's eye.

  “Merde,” he swore softly and hung up the phone.

  Twenty-one

  Marti greeted Nikki with an enthusiastic hug. “It's been ages, sweetie."

  “Yes, way too long,” she agreed, following her best friend into the luxuriously furnished living room. “You've redecorated again,” she said, admiring the entirely new, Spartan look.