Because It's Not Love

by Kitty Parker

  Oh my god.

  Carson grabbed Maggie's arm and turned her around. Even though she was on the edge of crying he couldn't care less. He was just too furious at her stupid decision. "Kyle? You told Kyle to pick you up?"

  Maggie threw his hand away. "Leave me alone." she said in a stern voice.

  Kyle grinned as he took another helmet and gave it to Maggie with a wink. She grabbed it angrily and wore it without glancing at Carson. How the hell could she cry and still be angry at him? She was so hard to understand sometimes.

  Before Maggie climbed onto the bike Carson grabbed at her elbow again and eyed her carefully. "I don't trust you with him." He said loud enough for Kyle to hear. Who would ride a damn motorcycle in the cold wind of snow? Who was that stupid? No, who was even more stupid, Kyle or Maggie?

  Kyle threw a big mysterious grin at him. "Relax Malloy; I'm not going to hurt her."

  Maybe he looked like a good guy but Carson swore he could hear the smirk in his voice. Unfortunately, Maggie didn't take any hint of it. She walked away and climbed onto the bike with a scowl still placed on her features. She then finally glanced at Carson for the last time before hugging Kyle's waist tightly who already had a smug smile on his lips. They drove away loudly, making the street buzzing with sounds of car horns after them.

  Carson watched the only girl he had ever liked walking away with her ex.

  He felt numb.

  Broken Arrow

  Note to self: never ever ride a motor cycle wearing a dress.

  Not only was I feeling cold...but people could practically see my underwear by now. Ugh, why did Kyle have to bring his bike? All I wanted to do was to get out of the hotel as fast as possible! If I knew he was bringing this damn thing I wouldn't even think of asking him to pick me up.

  Kyle sped up faster, getting angry scowls from people around the street. I decided to close my eyes until we arrive at wherever we were going since, you know, I wasn't in the mood of going home now.

  We stopped not long after and I found myself opening my eyes slowly, glancing around my surroundings. It took me a while to recognize where we were and after a few seconds of looking around the place, I realized we were at the local park where I found out about Lisa and Nick a while ago. Why the hell did he take me here?

  "Why are we here?" I asked my thoughts out as I looked back at Kyle.

  Kyle took off his helmet and glanced over his shoulder with a playful grin "We didn't finish our date properly last time."

  Did he just say what I thought he said? I got off of the bike and sighed before I took off my own helmet. "Kyle, you're a very sweet guy but—"

  He surprised me by chuckling lightly. I raised one of my eyebrows questionably at him. "Relax. I know you're probably not in the mood of a second date. But hey, if you need someone to talk to then I'd gladly be here to hear you out."

  A small smile tugged on my lips as I gave him the helmet I used. Kyle got off of his bike as well and we walked together in silence around the park, just watching the snow falling down lightly. It felt nice to have someone close to you when you feel so lonely sometimes...especially at times like these.

  "So…why did you text me saying you wanted me to pick you up?" He asked me eventually after a few of minutes of silence between us.

  I shrugged nonchalantly. "I just wanted to get out of there." I said as I took a seat on an empty swing. Kyle walked around me and started to push me gently on the swing.

  "Anything to do with Carson?" Startled at the question, I groaned silently, getting a low chuckle out from him. "That bad huh?"

  A frown made its way toward my face and I couldn't help but to remember what had happened earlier.

  I couldn't believe I had the decency to ask Carson the question that was bugging me since forever. I don't know, I guess being in his strong arms didn't make me think clear. I don't know… I guess it just felt so…wonderful being in his arms again.

  Oh my god!

  I told him I loved him, didn't I? I groaned loudly as I closed my eyes shamefully. Why in the world did I say that?

  "Just give him time, he'll come around eventually. Trust me."

  I blinked my eyes curiously. Time? For what? "Kyle, it's not that I don't trust you...but what the hell do you mean?" I asked him while he sat on the swing beside mine.

  "I'm not that close with the guy but when I picked you up earlier I could see the frustration on his face. And he's never like that."

  I rolled my eyes. "He's just probably frustrated talking with me. I always have the feeling that he wants me out of his life."

  "Again, trust me. I'm a guy and any guy would never want you out of his life."

  Okay, I did not know what to say. "Uh…thanks?"

  He just smiled again and pushed himself on the swing. It was funny to see a teenage guy that good looking playing on a swing in the dark. I laughed at his face that was written with pure joy as he grinned at me like a stupid little boy. "So, what's up with you nowadays Kyle?"

  "Nothing much." He went silent for a while as if he was trying to remember anything interesting in his life. He then looked back at me with a smile. "I told my father that I was going to take architecture for college you know."

  A grin made its way to my lips. "I'm so happy for you! So how did he take it?"

  "He wasn't that pleased about my decision...so he told me that if I really do that then he wouldn't want me to be his son again."

  I gaped at him. Wow, I never thought his father would be that evil. "What did you do then?"

  "I then remembered you told me that no one, not even my own father could stop my dreams." I tilted my head and smiled sincerely at him. "I told my father to screw off and he would see in a few years that there would be a building in New York higher than the empire states that I'd design. Just you wait and see."

  I laughed at him. "Way to go! I'm so proud of my little boy." I placed my hands on my chest. "Already deciding for college." I said in mocking awe.

  "I really want to thank you though, if you never said that I wouldn't say anything to my dad. So, thank you so much."

  "Kyle, I didn't do anything. You're the one who stood up for your dreams—"

  He cut me off. "Maggie, just accept me being thankful to you. You're really my savior. So thank you."

  "No problem then, I'm glad that I helped a friend out." I smiled sweetly at him.

  "Can I say something to you?"

  "Of course you can! Why are you even asking?"

  "I just want to explain everything what happened between us. You know, everything." I somehow saw the sadness in his chocolate eyes and couldn't help but feel slightly guilty and I don't even know why.

  "Kyle, you don't have to. I forgave you for everything."

  He shook his head slowly before smiling. "Please just listen?"

  I nodded slowly and gestured him to continue. He took a deep breath and sighed slowly. "Well…I knew I was such a douche when we dated. My friends were talking to me on how they were having the best sex when I didn't get any action from my own girlfriend for two months. I was a stupid boy, touching you all of a sudden."

  "I got to say I was surprised when you slammed me against my locker after school and kissed me in front of everybody. We never do that much PDA before."

  Kyle laughed nervously and ran a hand through his soft hair. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that."

  "I told you I already forgave you! But please, go on."

  "So when you broke it up so suddenly I was so shocked. I really liked you that it really hurt me to watch you walk away. I knew it was my entire stupid fault."

  "Kyle, we ended it peacefully…"

  "I know, but let me finish." I nodded and listened to him again. "I never stopped wanting you but I was too chicken to approach you to ask you out. I was scared if you rejected me or something. Then Carson came along."

  I frowned at him. "Why does he have to do anything with all of this?"

  "He made me jealous. He made me mad just seeing you guys talk to
gether. The way he looks at you, the way he glances at you when he thinks no one's watching. It made me jealous…but it was also amusing to see him like that."

  "He doesn't see me in any way." I rolled my eyes and looked away, kind of not trusting my voice.

  "You know, he actually does. He was the courage for me to ask you out again. I wanted to know why you were seeing him, I wanted to know what he had that I didn't have every time you look at him the way you do. I was jealous. Really, really jealous. I didn't see you with any guy for months and then I saw you with him, the player of the school."

  I was confused...and shocked, I guess. I stood up and shook my head with a big frown on my face. "I didn't see him in any way-and I still don't."

  I saw Kyle standing up as well and stepped forward in front of me. I felt his arms wrapping my whole body as I stood there silently in his embrace. We sighed together as I placed my head on his shoulder. "But really, all I'm saying is that give him time. I may not be one of his close friends but I know when a guy is going nuts out because of a girl he likes. Or maybe even love." He added with a sly grin.

  "We really have to stop talking about him. Why are you even bringing this up? You're supposed to get me away from him anyway." I stepped away from his embrace and folded my arms.

  "Margaret babe, I'm just reminding you. For a smart girl you could be so dense sometimes."

  I gasped at this. "Now what is that supposed to mean?"

  Kyle merely laughed before we fell into silence again. I looked up at him and waited for him to speak but he didn't, so I tugged his arm to look at me. I smiled. "Kyle, I'm sorry. You deserve someone better than me, you really do."

  "I know." He grinned cheekily.

  I rolled my eyes and grabbed his hand to the nearest coffee shop around the corner.

  * * *

  We ended up having a pretty good time and I had to give him some brownie points because, well, he made me forget about Carson for a while. It was nice to hang out with him again and we were enjoying each others company too much that I found it was around eleven o'clock when we (finally) called it a night. He took me home quickly and he drove off as I walked back to my house.

  My parent's car was already there so I was guessing that the party was already over. I entered my house and was welcomed by the silence. The only sound I could come up with was the sound of keyboards being typed furiously and I only had one guess as to what it was. I walked down the living room and found my mom typing on her laptop with her eyes narrowed on the screen. She was still wearing her dress that I had to sigh at the sight in front of me.

  "Mom, what are you doing?" I asked her as I walked toward her on the couch.

  Mom looked up and her eyes softened as she saw me. She placed down her laptop on the coffee table and patted the space on the couch beside her. "I just had to check my emails." She gave me a sheepish smile before continuing, "Honey, where have you been? I was worried about you."

  I sighed slightly as I remembered that I left the party without telling my family. The look on mom's worried face made me feel so guilty that the only thing to explain what had happened was to tell the truth. Oh god, it was time to tell her everything wasn't it?

  "Oh mom." And then the happiness from the times I had spent with Kyle was gone. The feeling of crushed, pained, confused, angry and everything else I felt with the situation with Carson came rushing back.

  "What's wrong?" Mom sounded very worried as I sat beside her and leaned my head onto her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around me and slowly rocked me back and forth. "Honey?"

  I wasn't crying, which was a good thing, but I still felt empty and hollow inside of me. "I hate him, mom."

  She didn't say anything and merely smoothed her hand down my back. I frowned, that was it? She wasn't questioning anything at all? She was quiet after that and it made me even more curious as why she wasn't saying anything about this.

  I pulled out of her motherly embrace and looked at her with confusion. "What? No questions?"

  She held both of my hands that were relaxed on my lap as she glanced at me with a knowing look. "Honey, before we talk about this, can I ask you a question?"

  I nodded with my eyes narrowed toward her.

  She sighed and smiled softly at me. "Is this the same guy we've been talking about?"

  I frowned at her question but nonetheless nodded my head slowly.

  "Is he, by any chance…oh I don't know, Carson…maybe?"

  I shrieked (yes, I shrieked!) in horror as the smile on her face grew wider. "How did you know?"

  She chuckled at me as I buried my head in my palms, too embarrassed by my own mother to look up. "Well…it was actually easy."

  "Easy?" I managed to squeak weirdly.

  "Yeah. You were always acting weird when his name was mentioned here and there…then when he slept over here you acted even stranger." I groaned at how my embarrassment grew bigger. "Then I saw both of you dance at the party…and you left him, making him follow your steps like a lost puppy."

  I grimaced at the thought. "Uh…you saw that?"

  "I think everyone at the ballroom saw that."

  "Wow…just wow." I looked up to see mom still smiling at me. "I'm so embarrassed."

  "Don't be, it's actually a relief that I know the guy who you're talking about now." She laughed again at my still shocked expression. "So, you and Carson huh? I never thought you guys would end up with each other."

  I blushed (very hard I might add) as I decided that the only way to end the charade with mom was to come clean with the truth. And that was what I exactly did...after she kept on teasing me about Carson, of course. I took a deep breath and mentally noted myself to just 'get on with this'. So yes, there I was sitting with mom, trying to stop fidgeting under her gaze. I took a deep breath, glanced warily at her, and let my mouth do the talking.

  I explained everything again from the start, reminding myself to cut every sex scenes. I kind of explained what I think she had to know...which was not all. I told her about tonight precisely (the past events weren't that important anyway) and whined at how he stuttered when I asked him if he loved me...and told her how stupid I reacted when I told him I loved him.

  My god, it was still unbelievable that I actually said the three words to him earlier!

  Mom nodded every time I complained about him, and I was glad that she didn't slip in any jokes or tease about Carson and I. When I finally couldn't think anything else bad about him, I then let mom do her wisdom talk she would always insisted doing whenever I mentioned I was close with a guy.

  Mom opened her mouth, closed it...and finally asked the question I was dreading to hear.

  "Do you actually love him?"

  I looked away, thinking about the pros and cons about loving him. There were obviously more cons than pros (he was a jerk) but I couldn't help but to think how it always felt right in his arms. He kind of made my life a living hell...he could be such an asshole one second and then suddenly be so charming and so...I don't know, words couldn't describe how he was to me.

  I glanced at mom and realized how much pain I felt whenever I thought abut him. Why couldn't we be a normal couple? You know, do the dating stuff...holding hands...

  I sighed as the feeling of how I felt for him went much, much deeper than before. The seriousness in my voice so very thick when I managed to finally answer her.

  "Yeah, I do...very much."

  My Confession

  He didn't show up.

  It was the last week of school before winter break and he didn't show his face for 2 days. 2 days! I didn't know he was such a skipper, but then again I knew nothing about him. I sighed for the many times as I dragged my feet towards Kyle's locker.

  Kyle had been taking me home these past couples of days because...well, Nick seemed kind of busy about something, something that he wouldn't tell me about. I kind of thought that he was busy with Lisa or something but Lisa herself didn't know why Nick was avoiding me. Yes, he was only avoiding me. Me, his c
ute little sister.

  I was not in a good mood for days and you probably could guess why I was acting weird. On the weekend I stayed in my room mostly all day and my parents pitted me. Mom was trying to cheer me up while dad would come to my room and help me do my homework. It was nice having him around, I was thankful he was there for me.

  Nick on the other hand was quiet. I thought he would tease me about being terribly in love but surprisingly, he didn't say much. I guess he felt guilty that I was right all along about his best friend never having any feelings for me at all.

  "Hey, Maggie."

  I looked to my left and saw Kyle opening his locker. I gave him a small smile and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Hi."

  "So, how has your day been?" He slammed his locker rather loud and turned to me.

  I gave him a sad smile. "Like any other days Kyle, like any other days."

  He chuckled and dropped an arm around my shoulder. We started making our way down the hallway as he squeezed my shoulder lightly. "I guess this makes it 3 days huh?"

  I frowned at him as we walked together. "About what?"

  "Carson." He stated, very oblivious that I didn't want to think anything about the guy.

  "Oh yeah? Not like I had already noticed or anything." It was a straight lie and Kyle probably saw through it since he looked down at me with a raise of his eye brows. I pretended that my words were true, and as hard as I tried to act as if I didn't care, it pretty much broke my heart at how I (kind of) missed him.

  "Sure." Kyle smirked as we turned around the corner. I was about to punch him to silent him when something moving caught my attention from the corner of my eyes…or rather someone. I looked away from Kyle to see a girl walking up to us with a very big grin on her face. I knew her face because she has two same classes with me so she seemed quite familiar, but I forgot her name. She was short and pretty cute with her short black hair and brown eyes. She was holding a flower in her hand as she looked at me, then to Kyle.