I Shall Survive Using Potions! Volume 3

by Funa

  What kind of exploitative business was I running?!

  And so, we arrived at the company commander’s house.

  Hmm, judging by the building and distance from the center of the royal capital, his social standing wasn’t too high. Maybe he was the equivalent of a baron or viscount? The lieutenant colonel battalion commander was a count... or rather, he was just the third son and probably wasn’t going to inherit the title, so I supposed the lieutenant colonel wasn’t too high in standing either. It simply meant the other nobles would be modest toward him because of his family’s authority.

  We passed through the gates and headed toward the entrance, when...

  “Welcome home, Master.”

  Whaaat?!

  He was the head of a noble house that inherited the title?! Wouldn’t that mean he was higher in the nobility hierarchy than the lieutenant colonel? While he was just from a count familyship, even if the company commander were just a baron or viscount, comparing an untitled third son and the head of such a household...

  But getting on the bad side of such a household would be social suicide... I supposed these power dynamics were pretty complicated.

  Even so, they were a superior and subordinate in the same military, so it didn’t really matter. Whether it be the military or a company, rank and position within that organization was everything. Their families, parents, ages, and academic backgrounds had nothing to do with it.

  So how dare that shitty, ordinary employee give his mild-mannered chief clerk attitude... No, no, that was all in the past now. Moving on...

  Oh, I should confirm now to avoid any accidental discourtesy later.

  “E-Excuse me, Mr. Company Commander, are you the head of your house?”

  “Hm? Oh, I suppose I haven’t mentioned it yet. Yes, I am Seyvos von Lasrich, Viscount Lasrich.”

  I knew it!

  I didn’t find any noble intimidating at this point though. I was a woman who yelled at royalty, after all.

  Muahaha...ha...

  I wasn’t gonna get punished for being improper some day, was I?

  We were led to the company commander’s... study? Office? That sort of room. He dismissed his family and servants, so it was just him, me, and Layette (in “fly on the wall” mode).

  Now, for the main reason we were here...

  “I’ve brought some tea for you.”

  Oh, tea and snacks? Don’t mind if I do...

  The maid left after placing the tea set and snacks, and we were finally about to move on to the main topic.

  Munch, munch...

  Yeah, there was Layette, munching away at the snacks...

  I took a sip of tea. The company commander, seemingly out of habit, had walked at marching pace as he led us there, so I was tired and thirsty from the trek. Sure, that was all fine and dandy for a military officer, but he could’ve been a bit more courteous to the ladies...

  No, never mind! I’m sorry for acting self-important to an oh-so-mighty married person when I’m just a single woman who can’t get a man!

  I drank some more tea.

  “So, about my request... I want you to find the location of some treasure for me.”

  Bwargfh!

  I nearly spat out the tea in my mouth, but just managed to stop myself. The company commander was wearing expensive-looking—well, certainly expensive clothes, and the sofa and carpet were similarly luxurious. I couldn’t possibly spit here, so I desperately fought back the impulse and swallowed, nearly suffocating as a result.

  “Why would you tell me this now?!”

  Damn that open-mouthed, blank expression. He had no self-awareness! I’ll make him spit out his drink in front of the lieutenant colonel some day!

  In any case, an explanation. I needed him to explain himself before we could move on.

  According to him, the house of Viscount Lasrich wasn’t very wealthy. I mean, the head of the house was working for the military... though apparently, they weren’t quite poor either. He joined the military because his older brother was supposed to inherit the house and title, but his brother had died suddenly. However, he wasn’t allowed to leave the military for such personal reasons, so he left the management of his territory to his younger brother and moved to the viscount residence in the royal capital, managing his military and social duties for his house. This kind of story wasn’t uncommon among noble houses.

  So, what was the issue here?

  ...Money. They didn’t have any.

  So they were poor!

  They’d used up all of their food in storage due to poor harvests for several years straight, so they stocked up on food with the gold coins in their vault. Still, the surrounding territories were experiencing poor harvests too. Getting food delivered from far-off lands was pricey, and was prone to being raided by bandits and desperate peasants from other lands trying to feed their families. The costs piled up as they needed to pay escorts to protect the goods. They somehow managed to gather the average annual yield of food this year, but their vault and stockpiles were nearly empty. If something were to happen in this state...

  Even if they had a decent harvest, something like an epidemic disease, a large-scale bandit raid, or any sort of trouble could be that fatal straw that broke the camel’s back.

  Normally, this would’ve pretty much been checkmate. They’d have no choice but to take a loan from some big-time noble, basically becoming slaves due to monetary and social obligations, besmirching the name of his viscount house.

  “Normally,” of course.

  The house of Viscount Lasrich actually had a hidden fortune. Or, more accurately, should’ve had one.

  Several generations ago, a large, unmanned ship drifted up to Viscount Lasrich’s seafront territory. No one recognized the ship, but its passengers had all perished and there was no food or water on board. However, the cargo and safe were left untouched. It was all non-edible items meant to be used for trade, such as ceramics, swords, and massive quantities of gold coins and jewelry. The viscount at the time was facing a similar danger to the current situation, and secretly converted that treasure to the currency of this kingdom and used it to get through hard times. As for the remainder...

  “Here it is. Please, decode it for me!”

  With that, the company commander produced a sheet of parchment.

  “This document has been passed down between the heads of the house throughout the generations. The location of the fortune was relayed via word of mouth, but the head of the house from three generations ago died in an accident before he was able to pass down that information... But now, my land needs it desperately! Please, read this document and find out where the fortune is!”

  Ah, so that was why he asked for my help. In case the fortune’s hiding spot didn’t get passed down to the next generation, it was kept in writing with a coded message.

  Yeah, it was important to keep backups.

  But that stinkin’ section chief didn’t take backups for three whole months?! Who had to clean up after that whole... No, the past. Moving on...

  He handed the parchment to me, and I began reading through it.

  “Only when the province of Lasrich ever faces great danger, the resources have been exhausted, and there are no other possible courses of action, the fortune that has been passed down may be used. Corlacus von Lasrich.”

  That was all it said.

  “How am I supposed to know thaaat?!”

  Haah... haah... haah...

  I threw the parchment down on the ground, breathing heavily, and the company commander stared at me, dumbfounded.

  Oh no, I have to say something!

  “How is this friggin’ thing supposed to help me find it?!”

  No, not like that!

  “I-I don’t understand how... Ugh, I’m creeping myself out!”

  I put on my customer service smile as well as a feminine act, but it only made me writhe in embarrassment.

  The company commander’s eyes went wide with confusion.

/>   “It’s not even coded or anything! How do you expect me to find it with this?!”

  “What? But I thought you could understand the writer’s intent behind the text...”

  He seemed genuinely surprised.

  The heck is that?!

  “I’m not some god! I can gauge the context of the text because of my linguistic abilities, but that doesn’t mean I can read the writer’s residual thoughts! So, ‘How’s ‘bouta cuppa Joe?’ might sound like, ‘Would you like to have some coffee?’ But it wouldn’t sound like, ‘Hurry up and go home, you’re staying too long!’”

  He didn’t understand what a “cuppa Joe” was, but seemed to have an idea of what I was trying to say.

  “I... I see...” He slumped his shoulders.

  I felt kinda bad for him...

  Oh, fine. He did pay me an excursion service fee, after all...

  “Umm, well, there’s not much we can do about the message, but you just need to find out where the fortune is hidden, right?”

  “Y-Yes, that’s correct, but... Due to it being too risky to leave it in my land near the border, and the fact that whenever the fortune was to be used, whether it be for food or political funds, the payment would be done in the royal capital. I’m certain it was taken here in the royal capital somewhere, but it’s been found by neither my father or grandfather, and certainly not by me. I doubt it would be so easy...”

  I brought the bag on my shoulder just in case of something like this. I stuck my hand inside the bag...

  A healing potion inside a super high-performance, super portable metal detector-type container, come out!

  ...and I pulled out a shady-looking device.

  “Huh? What is that...?”

  “A metal detector. Basically, it’s a device that detects nearby gold and shows you where it is.”

  “Whaaat?!”

  The company commander raised his voice in surprise... Wait, no, this explanation could give him some unwanted ambitious ideas!

  “Oh, it only reacts to refined gold with high purity, so it won’t be any good for finding gold mines or anything like that. The detection range is very short so its usefulness is limited, and it’s also quite expensive, prone to breaking, and pricey to fix...”

  I tried painting the metal detector as something that wasn’t very useful, but he gave me a dubious look.

  Oh well, time to get the request over with.

  “So, you push this button and...”

  I activated the device, and an arrow floating in a clear, glass sphere began spinning, then stopped, pointing in a certain direction.

  “This way!”

  I looked up cheerfully from the glass sphere... only to find that the pointer was pointing directly at the company commander’s pocket.

  “Ahhh...”

  Yeah, that sure was the closest, refined piece of gold. As for my own money pouch, that was inside the Item Box, so it wasn’t detectable by the device.

  “O-One second please...”

  I averted my eyes from his suspicious expression, then began operating the metal detector. It was an item I’d thought up, so it went without saying that its capabilities and controls would be as I imagined them to be. There was no way I wouldn’t be able to use it.

  “Let’s see, I’ll exclude your money pouch from the possible targets and set it to detect 300 grams of gold or more...”

  A so-called fortune would surely be that much gold or more. There could also be some precious jewels or pearls or something, but there was probably some gold too. Maybe as ingots, or in coin form. What kinda fortune would it be without any gold? But if that were the case, it’d be time for the “jewel detector device” to shine.

  Okay, let’s try that again...

  The needle pointed at the wall of the room, but we obviously went outside through the door instead of breaking the wall down. Of course, I’d go ahead and break it if it pointed at the same wall from the other side.

  When I entered the hallway, the needle didn’t point at the neighboring room, but somewhere farther.

  Good, good...

  I kept following the pointer, and it took me to a certain room.

  “This place is...”

  The company commander had a pensive look on his face. He then seemed to make a decision, nodded, and produced something from his pocket. It wasn’t a money pouch, but a bunch of keys. Maybe there wasn’t enough of them to call it a “bunch,” but several keys were bundled together by a thin chain, which seemed to be connected to some inner part of his clothes.

  He took one of the keys and unlocked the door to the room. Apparently, this room was important compared to the others.

  He followed me inside, and...

  “Whoa...”

  It was a storeroom... no, more like a treasury or a vault room. In any case, it seemed to be where their wealth was stored. There were no windows, and until the company commander lit a lamp, the light coming in from the open door was the only source of illumination. And what was revealed by the lamp light was...

  “...It’s a storeroom?”

  All sorts of junk... er, ornaments and mysterious objects were on display throughout the room.

  Hold on, I shouldn’t be calling it a storeroom. I was just thinking it was a “vault room”! Why did I have to be so blunt...

  “Haha... I’ve already sold off anything that could be of any value. All that’s left now are things that wouldn’t fetch a good price, or objects that have great importance to the house of Lasrich. Despite the amount of objects in here, they’re basically worthless in terms of market value. Though they’re still treasures to our house nonetheless.”

  “...I’m sorry.”

  I was being too insensitive. All I could do was apologize.

  Then, in the direction the metal detector was pointing was...

  “A big safe sitting next to the wall.”

  ...Thanks, Captain Obvious.

  ““...””

  The company commander was at a loss for words. The look on my face probably looked just like his.

  There were gold coins inside the vault?

  No duh, dingus!!!

  “...”

  “...”

  “Well, we may as well open it...” he uttered after an excruciatingly long few seconds had passed. It seemed his hope was rapidly diminishing.

  Hmm...

  He brought out his keys again and opened the safe. Inside...

  There were about twenty gold coins. In this world, that was equivalent to about 2,000,000 yen, so it was a decent amount of money. But even though it was a smaller viscount’s house, it was extremely shabby for the contents of a noble house’s safe.

  “O-One second please!”

  I messed with the settings on the metal detector again, excluding the safe from the potential targets. I checked the pointer again. It spun around...

  Yup, nothing detected within range. Thank you very much!

  The company commander seemed to understand the situation from the movement of the needle and look on my face.

  “Haha...”

  “Ahaha...”

  ““Ahahahaha... Haah...””

  Womp womp.

  There was a dull look in both our eyes. Apparently, there was no mountain of gold ingots or coins in this residence...

  Hey, wait a minute! What settings did I use when I detected the company commander’s money pouch earlier? Right, I’d set it to detect “300 grams of gold or more”!

  The gold coins here weighed less than ten grams each. They felt slightly heavier than a 500 yen coin, so I estimated they were about eight to nine grams. About the same as a quarter ounce gold coin from Earth? This meant that even if it weighed more from being mixed with other alloys to improve its hardness, twenty coins would only be about 150 grams of gold or so. Wouldn’t the detector not react to that then?

  I messed with the metal detector in a hurry, then removed the exclusion for the safe. Then I set it to detect 500 grams or more.

&
nbsp; ...The needle pointed at the safe. I leapt out of the room, and the company commander followed me hurriedly, wondering what was going on. Where I was going, of course, was the room on the other side of the wall where the safe was stored. That room was unlocked, and it seemed to be a sort of office for the company commander, or rather, “the viscount.” Though I supposed no one would put a nursery next to a vault room, all things considered.

  It crossed my mind that maybe I was being incredibly rude and improper. But oh well, I doubted the company commander was a stickler for such things.

  And so, I looked at the needle inside that room.

  ...Yeah, it was pointing toward the direction of the neighboring room, where the vault room was.

  “Let’s tear down this wall!”

  “R... Right!”

  The servants were called, and we began carefully tearing down the wall. We didn’t do it from the side where the safe was because it would’ve been too much trouble to move the safe out of the way.

  As the wall was peeled off, we finally hit metal! Yup, it was the back of the safe sitting against the wall. Of course...

  We seemed to penetrate all the way through. Inside the wall, there was nothing but the structures holding up the wall originally.

  “...Well, that’s about it for one small gold coin’s worth...”

  “Hold on! Wait just a minuuute!!!”

  I tried walking away quietly, but the company commander grabbed me by the collar.

  You’ll go bald if you get so worked up, ya know.

  But more importantly...

  “My neck! You’re choking my neeeck!”

  Well, I should’ve seen that coming.

  ＊　　　＊

  “What is the meaning of this...?”

  He seemed understandably upset. The servants had already been dismissed. I guess I can’t blame him, considering I had got his hopes up, destroyed the walls of his residence, and ended up with nothing.