I push myself up and identify Miram curled on her side on top of her sleeping bag beside me. We must have fallen asleep talking. I wanted to cheer her up, take her mind off everything.
As my vision adjusts to the gloom of the cave, a stab of disappointment fills me. I still see Dad so very clearly, the image of him crisp and fresh. Almost as if I weren’t dreaming an event from my past at all, but living it again.
Suddenly the back of my throat aches. I can almost smell the cold sea wind. Dad’s voice whispers inside my ears. Palm tree.
My heart jumps in my chest and my pulse begins a furious hammering against my neck. I don’t need to see the slip of paper my mother left me to remember the words scrawled upon it.
Remember the palm tree.
At the time, the words hadn’t made any sense to me. I trusted that it would come to me, that I would figure it out eventually. And now I have.
I hop to my feet, anxious to give Tamra the news. I know where Mom is. We can go find her! Then I stop, my breath expelling in a rush as I remember I can’t go anywhere. Not yet. I’m here to get justice for Dad. To help Miram. For Cassian … the pride. I have a lot to fix before I’m free to find Mom. I made that decision. This is the reality I’ve chosen—and dragged Will into with me.
Tamra’s chosen something different. I know that’s her right … but maybe if we have a firm destination, Mom’s actual location, she’ll come with me.
I resume walking, eager to tell Tamra.
She’s nowhere around though. Neither is Deghan. My stomach sinks. It’s not hard to guess that they went off somewhere together.
“Tamra?” I call, wondering how long I slept, how long she’s been gone.
I walk deeper into the cave, where the lamplight is at its weakest, barely stretching its glow across the cave floor. Suddenly the cave splits, opens to a larger room on the left and a darker, narrower space to my right. I peer into the smaller tunnel. The air feels cooler in that direction.
I glance at the larger space, into the yawning shadows there. Something moves in all the gloom. Like the ripple of a fish against dark waters. I squint and step closer, making out a shape there. I part my lips, ready to call out—
A hand clamps down on my shoulder. “Jacinda?”
I yelp and spin around. A burst of fire erupts from my lips before I see who’s there and manage to retract the heat back inside. Will stands behind me, flinging his hands back in the air like I’m pointing a weapon at him.
“Sorry,” I gasp.
“Hey. Didn’t mean to frighten you. Just came to switch with one of you.”
The lamplight haloes him, the yellow glow gilding his brown hair.
The chill from the second cave reaches me, its cool air wrapping me in its embrace, cooling my body’s sudden flare of heat. I rub my arms. “Sorry,” I repeat. “I’m just jumpy. I can’t find Tamra or Deghan.” I motion behind me. “And I thought I saw something in there.”
Will’s gaze fixes beyond my shoulder. A strange look comes over his face. His brow scrunches. He takes a step forward that brings us side by side.
“What the …” His voice fades as I spin back around, afraid a hunter lurks there—ready to pounce—that they’ve found us and somehow crept into the cave.
It’s no hunter.
A couple steps into the very edge of light.
“Tamra?” I breathe, the question clear in my voice as I stare at the boy next to her. Boy? He’s around our age. Maybe older. But so huge his head nearly scrapes the ceiling of the cave. He’s wearing a pair of jeans I recognize as belonging to Cassian, but they fit him snugly around his hips and fall a little short. Further testament to how large he really is.
My gaze sweeps all of him. All human him. Starting with the ash blond hair that brushes his shoulders, down to his bare feet. His eyes still possess that wildness, the pupils still vertical slits that give away his savage nature.
I try to speak, try to voice my bewilderment. “How?”
Tamra smiles. It’s a smile I’ve never seen on her before. It’s secretive and vague, but brimming with happiness. “Deghan’s been working on it.”
Deghan nods. “And Tamra helped me through it. Still feels a little unnatural,” he says, and that’s when I notice his accent. He sounds … Irish? Where exactly did he and his pride come from? One side of his mouth tips in a smile of sorts. “Hope I can keep control of myself.”
“You can do it.” Tamra nods, full of brightness and optimism. Not since Chaparral have I seen her like this. Bubbling with hope that her world is suddenly right.
And he brought about this change in her? I don’t know whether to hug him or punch him. Fear that Tamra will end up hurt or disappointed again gnaws at me. She’s been through enough of that already. Years of that. But the idea that she could find happiness with him … it would be better than great.
They’re standing so close to each other, and then I notice that they are holding hands, their fingers intimately laced. And it occurs to me that what I think doesn’t matter at all. Tamra is already attached to him. I can’t influence what they will or won’t be. I can merely hope for the best.
Deghan nods at Will. “Guess I’ll take a turn now. Let you get some rest.”
“I’ll come with you,” Tamra quickly volunteers. At my arch look, she adds, “I know the area.”
I watch them walk away, still holding each other’s hands. “Hey,” Will says once we’re alone, but what he’s really saying—what he’s really asking—is whether I’m okay.
I drag a hand down the side of my face. “I guess I suspected this was coming, but still …”
“They might be good for each other.”
“How’s that?” I ask.
He lifts one shadowy shoulder in a shrug. “She’s new to being a draki … and in a way he’s new to being human. Maybe they can support each other.”
I angle my head. “I never thought about it that way.”
“Common ground, you could say.”
I grin at him. “You’re such a smart guy, Will Rutledge.”
“I’ve been told that before.”
The smile slides from my lips because the sudden thought hits me. Too smart for me. For this. Too smart to be here getting involved in the mess that is my world.
“Why on earth are you here with me?” The words fly out before I can stop them. Honestly, the last thing I want is to drive him away.
“That’s not obvious?”
I shake my head. I have to be fair to him. That’s love, isn’t it? Doing what’s right, what’s best even when it hurts? I can’t be selfish and keep him with me when it’s just stupid-dangerous for him to be here. And I see that now. I didn’t before, but now my fear for him … the risks he’s taking being here consume me.
I inhale, fill my lungs, and then release the words on a heavy breath. “If you were smart you’d walk away from me and never look back.”
He snorts. “And go back to my dad? That would sort of throw out your theory that I’m smart.”
“There’s your grandmother.” He’s told me all about his mom’s mother in Big Sur. The fact she never got along with Will’s dad pretty much is all I need to know to like her. “She would take you.” Love him. Support him in whatever he wanted to do. Unlike his father.
He nods slowly. “Are you trying to get me to leave you? Do you want me to go? Is that it? Because you can just say so. You don’t have to play games with me, Jacinda.”
“I’m not playing with you. I would never—it’s … complicated.”
“And hasn’t it been from the beginning?”
I wince. He’s right about that. “It’s just that none of this is fair to you. I’m not fair to you. I’ve got all this”—I wave my arms—“awful stuff going on and I keep expecting you to suffer through it.”
He’s quiet for a moment. I desperately wish I could see his face in the gloom. “So this is your conscience talking? Making sure I understand the risk I’m taking being here? Believe me, I ge
t it. It’s not something I can forget. Just like I won’t ever forget the risk you took for me. Remember that?” His eyes gleam through the murk. “Remember plunging off that cliff after me? Remember manifesting in front of someone you knew to be an enemy? I’ll never forget it. It was brave and stupid and selfless. So if I want to be brave and stupid and selfless for you, then just let me.”
We stand toe to toe. Water drips from somewhere in the dark cave. A distant, rhythmic sound that heightens the sudden silence.
I’m not sure who moves first. Me or Will. I just know we’re in each other’s arms. His hands are in my hair, at my waist, pressing me against him, holding me so tightly I can hardly even draw breath. A good thing because my limbs feel limp, no firmer than jelly. I’m sure if he released me I’d slide to the cave floor in a melted puddle.
Still clinging to each other, he backs me deeper into the cave. It’s a little colder, the air clammier now.
And then I can’t think anymore. Only feel. Savor the drag of Will’s mouth down my neck. His hands against my skin. His fingers brush the erratic pulse at my throat and I purr, arch against the warm wall of his chest, pulling him even closer.
His mouth returns to mine, the kiss harder, hungry. The sensitive skin of my lips warms and tingles. My entire body heats, the familiar scald igniting at my core despite the cold cave wall.
Will moans, deepening the kiss. One of his hands slips around my head, angling my face closer. His other hand slides down the length of my neck. His thumb grazes my hammering pulse again and I shudder, placing a palm on the plane of his face, relishing the scrape of his bristly jaw under my fingertips. I savor it all. The press of him over me, the hot fusion of our mouths, the way his hands move on me, always touching, caressing me like I’m something special.
A sharp crack splits the air, like metal on bone.
Suddenly Will’s lips are gone, wrenched from mine. All of him vanishes from me, leaving me alone and shivering, arms empty, aching, hands stretching for him in the dark.
I hear him fall with a thud. Bewildered, I crouch, patting the ground, searching for him in the cloying dark. “Will!”
I brush something. I touch his back, the cotton of his T-shirt cool beneath my fingers. “Will!” I lightly shake him, roaming my other hand over his body, feeling for an injury. “Are you hurt? What happened?”
Nothing. He doesn’t move. Doesn’t utter a sound.
I freeze, suddenly aware I’m not alone. My flesh heats in warning. Another’s breath rasps over the air. So close I almost imagine it lifts the strands of hair near my cheek.
My skin contracts and jumps when the voice comes to me out of the dark.
I swing in its direction. The light from the end of the tunnel limns his body. “Hello, Jacinda.”
19
I feel the breadth of him all around me. A draki, in full manifest, his vast wings stretched out defiantly from his body, like he might take flight right here in this cave where the sky is a dead, nonexistent thing.
I rise on unsteady legs and start to stagger away but then realize that leaves Will lying defenseless between us. I stop—step over Will, bringing me closer than I want to be to him—but I have no choice. The name shudders past my lips. “Corbin?”
“Miss me?”
I look down, into the swirling dark below me, where I know Will lies. “What have you done to him?”
“Just hit him with a rock. Hard.”
“You could have killed him!” I drop down to my knees again. My fingers gently move to his head, locating the bloody gash there.
Everything inside me crumbles and caves in at the possibility that Will could be more than hurt. My voice shakes out, “We need to get him to a hospital.”
At that suggestion, Corbin laughs mirthlessly. “You think I give a damn about his life? He’s not just a human but a hunter. A hunter who tried to kill me. Who took you.”
I stare up at his shadow. “What do you want?”
“Cassian is busy right now talking to Severin and the elders, pleading your case.” I don’t need light to know that his lip curls with a sneer. I can hear the scorn in his voice. “He refuses to give up your location until they promise him they won’t hurt any of you.” Corbin laughs then, a low, dark sound that curls menacingly around me. “I don’t need Cassian to tell me where he hid you. I haven’t been a part of the pride this long, watching my cousin’s every move, without knowing about this place. His little sanctuary. Now where’s Miram? And Tamra? I’m taking all three of you back.”
“I don’t know where they are,” I lie, knowing he won’t listen to why Miram can’t be brought into the pride yet. He clearly wasn’t paying attention when Cassian explained the situation, so why would he believe me?
“What do you mean you don’t—?”
“Miram ran away. Tamra went after her.”
He reaches for my arm and hauls me to my feet. “You’re lying. Why are you still hanging around here then? Why didn’t you go with Tamra?”
“Someone needed to wait for Cassian.”
“Why did Miram run?” His words punch the air, testing my story.
Steam swells from my nose. “She was mad that Cassian left her. She’s gone … probably headed back to the pride.” Desperate hope burns through me that he doesn’t bother to check out my story for himself or that if he does Miram has the sense to use her talent and blend into the walls of the cave. Silence stretches and I know he’s thinking, weighing my words.
Hot ash gathers in the back of my throat, and I know I need to force his thoughts away from Miram. “But I’m not going anywhere with you.” I wrench my arm free.
He grabs me again. “I thought you might be difficult. That’s why I brought this.”
Something glints in the dim light.
“What is—” I bite back the question as I catch the flash of a blade.
Corbin squats and yanks Will up by the back of his hair, the blade poised at his throat. Of course it would mean nothing to him to end Will’s life.
“Go ahead,” he taunts, his eyes glinting through the dark. “Burn me, Jacinda. But I’ll be sure to cut his throat first.”
“Corbin,” I whisper hoarsely, “this isn’t you.” But even as I say it, I realize that’s just a wish, a hope. Even I know that Corbin is ruthless enough to kill someone he sees as an enemy of the pride, someone keeping him from getting what he wants.
“Fine.” I rise, stepping back. “Don’t hurt him and I’ll go with you.” Maybe Tamra and Deghan will find Will and take care of him. It’s all I can hope … the only thing I can do right now.
“Good to see you using your head. Now, walk in front of me. That way.” He motions to the narrow tunnel. There must be a back way out of this cave, which explains how he snuck up on us. It also explains the cool air I felt earlier.
I march in front of him, my eyes adjusting to the relentless dark. My hand skims the cold, moist wall as I move along, Corbin close behind, prodding my back with the tip of his blade if my steps fall too slowly.
He gives me a particularly sharp jab in the spine and warm blood soaks my shirt, slithers to the small of my back. I glare over my shoulder at the vague shape of him.
“You know you won’t always have that knife.”
“I think I can handle you without it, Jacinda.”
I make a sound, part growl, part snort of doubt.
“The problem is you’re too soft. You care too much about others. That will always be your downfall … and how I can get to you.”
I walk ahead blindly, tears blurring my eyes. I can’t even absorb what he’s saying to me. I can only think of Will lying back there in the cave, helpless and bleeding.
“Speed it up. I can’t wait to show up with you. Maybe then they’ll stop listening to Cassian and pay me some respect.”
“He’s your cousin,” I accuse. “Why do you act like he’s your enemy?”
“Because while he may be next in line, I’m the one who deserves it. What has Cassian done
besides being born Severin’s son? Nothing. I’d be a better alpha than him. He cares too much. Like you. It affects his judgment. I’d do what’s right for the pride, no emotions, no questions asked.”
“I bet you would,” I grumble.
Light emerges ahead, growing brighter and bigger as we advance. I duck my head and step out into a heavy thicket. Trees and brush scratch us at every side. We claw our way through, squeezing along the narrow path that Corbin took to get into the cave.
Blinking so my eyes adjust, I see that the light isn’t as bright as I first thought. Dusk has fallen. Tiny motes of dust dance on the dull beams of yellow. He nudges me to keep going.
“What do you think is going to happen, Corbin? You’re just going to show up with me and they’ll—”
“They’ll see that I get things done. When something needs to happen I make it happen. After I deliver you, I’ll find Miram and Tamra, too.”
I glance over my shoulder. The fading light hits his face and his fervor is captured there, bright and intense in his purply black eyes. His eyes are nothing like Cassian’s though. There’s something dead there, unfeeling. Something desperate and ugly.
“You don’t understand what’s happening.” I motion back toward the cave. “If you would just listen to Cassian—”
“I have no desire to listen to Cassian.”
“It’s about Miram. Something happened to her—”
“Spare me. You don’t expect me to believe you actually care about Miram.”
“I expect you to care about her—and the safety of the pride. If you really think you are leadership material and want what’s best for the pride you’d hear me out.”
“Enough!” He forces me around and shoves his face close to mine. The knife pricks me in the ribs.
I glance down, then back up at him, feeling coldly calm inside. “You’ve totally lost it,” I whisper.
“I’ve had enough of never being heard. Of no one listening. No one caring. Especially you. You’ve walked around the pride for years looking down your nose at me.” He smiles slowly. “Well, I have your attention now, don’t I?”
“Your knife does,” I reply, unable to keep the defiant edge from my voice—even with a weapon pointing at me.
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