Bishop's Desire

by Normandie Alleman

  I’d been to LA before when I was in culinary school. But nothing in my experience prepared me for California—Barnes style.

  Lucinda sent a car to pick me up at the airport, and I couldn’t help but get a little thrill when I was greeted in the baggage claim area by a man wearing a suit and holding a placard with the name Chloe Soto on it. It was at that moment that I knew I had arrived. Not just in LA, but in a new life in which I no longer had to humiliate myself in order to pay the bills.

  The driver took me to the Barnes family home in Beverly Hills. It was a lovely Spanish-style home with a big pool in the back and came complete with a housekeeper named Esther.

  The first day I spent with Lucinda since the other members of the family were jet-setting around somewhere else. Nick was away playing basketball on the East Coast, but his home base was in Fresno anyway which was several hours away. Dynassy was in Milan doing a fashion shoot, and Ivy and Leo were performing somewhere in South America. Only Lucinda was home to greet me, but she was a gracious hostess, and the reason I was there in the first place.

  “Oh, Chloe! I’m so glad you decided to come. We are going to have the best time creating a show for you. I am so looking forward to this.” Lucinda enveloped me with a big hug, surrounding me with the heady scent of her perfume which smelled of jasmine and citrus.

  I hugged her back tightly. “Thank you so much for this opportunity. I can’t tell you how excited I am. I kinda feel like I just won the lottery.”

  She patted my hand. “You did. Not only is Eduardo a wonderful man, but he comes from a pretty good family too.”

  I smiled warmly at her. “I would have to agree.”

  “So, my little chickadee, where shall we eat?”

  We decided on a sushi restaurant that Lucinda recommended. She told me it was all the rage and terribly hard to get reservations. Apparently, that didn’t apply to the Barnes clan because we were seated right away, and the food was delicious.

  The next morning Lucinda and I went to the Barnes Media offices where we had meeting after meeting with the show developer, designers, and even a custom set designer. They told me to prepare the next morning to do some test shots. The day was filled with excitement, and by the end of it I was exhausted.

  The time flew by, and before I knew it, it was the day of the Barnes family party.

  I was a little nervous, because the Barneses were famous people, but I reminded myself that I’d been nervous about meeting Nick and he turned out to be an amazing guy who made me feel super comfortable around him. I also got along with Lucinda really well, so I told myself that the other Barneses would be just as down to earth, but it was still intimidating. There were few women on the planet as beautiful as Dynassy, and Ivy was not far behind. Not to mention her and her brother Leo were so talented that it was mind-blowing.

  I was about to head downstairs to join the party when my phone buzzed with a text.

  It was from Eduardo.

  Sorry. Can’t make it.

  Anger swelled inside me, and I turned on my heel and went back to my room.

  Not wasting a second, I hit the call button on my phone.

  Eduardo answered immediately. “Hello.”

  “What the hell do you mean you can’t make it?” How dare he leave me high and dry at a party for his family. I was getting fed up with his bad attitude. It was embarrassing.

  “I’m sorry. Kay’s husband was in a drunk driving accident early this morning, and he’s in the hospital. They’re not sure if he’s going to make it.”

  “Oh.” The news deflated my anger pretty quickly. He’d known Kay a lot longer than he had me or any of the Barnes family for that matter. It made sense that he should be there for her now. “That’s awful. Please tell Kay I’m sorry. How’s she holding up?”

  “Not great. It’s a blessing that her mother is staying with her, so she can help with the twins, but it’s not looking good.”

  “That’s awful,” I repeated, unsure what else to say. “Do you want me to come back home?”

  “No. You’re living your dream out there, right? You do you.”

  “But this isn’t the marriage you signed up for.”

  I heard a sigh from his end. “No, but I think I was fooling myself.”

  My chest clinched. What could I say? “You knew I married you to escape my circumstances, to get my career off the ground?” Of course not. Instead, I said, “I feel bad.”

  It was the understatement of the year, but it was all I could come up with.

  “Don’t. Enjoy yourself. I’ll make it out there for a weekend soon. I just need to make sure Kay is going to be all right.”

  “Yes, of course. You should. I know she’s always been there for you.” Unlike me.

  “Tell my siblings hi for me. And Lucinda,” he said with a laugh.

  “I will.” This whole situation got weirder all the time. I was married to a member of the Barnes family, yet I was getting to know them better than he was. It was bizarre.

  “We’ll miss you tonight.”

  “Me too.” He said the words, but I didn’t necessarily believe him. He hadn’t wanted to come to LA. And more than likely if he had, he would have done it just for me.

  “All right. Please keep me updated. We’ll keep Kay and her family in our prayers.”

  As soon as I said it, I cringed. “We?” I’d made it sound like I was so tight with the Barneses, and he was on the outside.

  “I will and thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” It came out so formal . . . I missed the couple we had been on our honeymoon. Things had been the complete opposite of formal then.

  “Okay, I’ve got to get back,” he said.

  “Okay.”

  “Bye,” he said, then the call disconnected.

  He’d hung up without telling me he loved me.

  It was the first time he’d done that.

  Eduardo always ended a phone conversation with an “I love you.”

  My heart ached.

  Desperate, I texted him a heart emoji and the words, “I love you.”

  Then I waited, but I didn’t get a response. Damn!

  I hadn’t meant to join the Barnes family circle and leave my husband out, but that’s exactly what I’d done. I’d isolated my poor sweet husband who was my connection to them in the first place.

  The last thing I felt like doing was going to a party, but that’s exactly what I did.

  I met Dynassy and Ivy and Leo. They were as good-looking as they were on magazine covers, though Dynassy was shorter than I thought she’d be. I liked her boyfriend Hunter. You could look at him and tell he was ex-military with his big muscles and the confident way he carried himself. They were a cute couple, and seeing them together made me miss Eduardo all the more.

  Leo was the most quiet. He let Ivy do the talking for him most of the time. But when he did chime in it was obvious he had a wicked sense of humor. Unfortunately, Nick and Eden and their twins couldn’t make it. The twins had been fighting a bout of bronchitis so Eden had decided they needed to stay home.

  “Those babies are the most adorable children you will ever meet,” Ivy assured me. “That is, until you and my new brother have your own, of course. Any plans in that department?”

  “Ivy!” Lucinda chided. “That is so rude. The two of them just got married. And besides, that’s a grandmother’s job—to nag about grandchildren.”

  Everyone laughed.

  “We’re not planning to start a family anytime soon, but maybe one day,” I said, and realized I meant it. If Eduardo and I could get our relationship on track.

  “Don’t let them bully you into it. I’m not.” Dynassy winked at me then looked at Hunter in a way that made me think it might not be long until the two of them did go down that road.

  The party was fun, but Eduardo’s absence made it feel like there was a shadow hanging over the gathering. The Barneses didn’t appear to notice, but I couldn’t help it.

  After a while, Luci
nda pulled me aside. “Hey, are you okay, Chloe? You don’t seem like your usual plucky self.”

  I feigned a smile. “I’m all right. I just miss Eduardo. Kinda disappointed he wasn’t able to come.”

  Lucinda nodded. “It can be hard to love a man with so many responsibilities. So many people to look after.” She patted my hand. “But in his heart, you come first.”

  I made a face. “After the man upstairs, of course.”

  Lucinda’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t be too sure of that. I think you’re at the top of his priority list.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “You’re here, aren’t you?”

  I nodded. “What does that mean?”

  “Eduardo didn’t want you to come out here and be on my TV show, did he?”

  “He wasn’t thrilled with the idea, no.”

  “But he let you come anyway.”

  I protested. “He may be my husband, but I’m a grown woman, Lucinda. I make my own decisions.”

  She gave me a look that could only be described as patronizing. “I’m sure you do my dear, but if the bishop wanted to ruin this for you all he’d have to do is give me a call. No, Eduardo is the one with Barnes blood running through his veins, and if this project didn’t have his blessing, I’d have to put the kibosh on it.”

  I stood there, speechless. It felt like Lucinda was standing there telling me that I didn’t matter.

  Wasn’t that what Eduardo had warned me about when I’d been so excited about this project?

  “Don’t be upset, dear. It’s all good. What I’m trying to tell you is that your husband loves you so much that he’s willing to put up with our batty Barnes bunch just to make you happy.”

  At a loss for words, I mumbled, “Oh.”

  Lucinda patted me on the arm then went into the kitchen leaving me standing there in a room full of people feeling completely alone.

  27

  Eduardo

  Kneeling on the bench in the chapel, I finished praying, “. . . on earth as it is in Heaven. Amen.”

  Leaning back, I rested my butt on the seat and stared up at the stained glass window over the altar.

  It was beautiful. Everything about this church was beautiful.

  Soon it would be Easter and scores of children would march down the aisle on the big day, bringing small bouquets of flowers from the garden. The acolytes and lay readers would then place them in a seven-foot-tall wooden cross that would stand in the middle of the church. A variety of colors cobbled together to create a tribute to the risen Lord. A delight to behold.

  Easter had always been my favorite church holiday, even more so since I’d become a priest.

  But with the vestry up in arms, their leader doing his best to oust me, the joy in serving my parish had morphed into what felt like girding my loins for battle.

  I’d started to wonder what I was actually fighting for.

  My heart was troubled, and it was what had brought me to the chapel to pray. I needed guidance. I needed clarification as to what I was fighting for.

  The members of my parish?

  I cared for my flock, but would someone else be able to serve them as well or better than me? At this point it was clear that either Crawford Banks or I had to go. If not, we’d be locked in a war that would only cause a divide in our church family.

  Donning the armor of innocence, at first, I’d been prepared to fight for my rightful place as bishop. It was my parish, I’d earned my place here, and I’d done nothing to deserve having it taken away from me.

  But the more I thought about it, the more I began to question that position.

  What if God were using Crawford Banks and his vile obsession with destroying me to open another door for me?

  Each day my suspicion that He was doing just that grew stronger and stronger.

  Lucinda’s words kept drumming in my head. “No one has more influence than the Barnes family.”

  They might have been boastful, but they were true. With the Barnes media empire, their money, and their connections, there was no end to the good I could do in the world with the backing from that machine.

  Could that be God’s plan for me?

  Ever since Chloe left for LA I’d been feeling the precariousness of my position at St. John’s. The parish would be better off without their vestry and their rector at each other’s throats. Basketball season was over. The kids on my team would get another coach next year anyway.

  And what about my personal life? I’d made a commitment to Chloe to be her husband, and it didn’t feel like I was doing a very good job of honoring my vows, letting her run off across the country without me.

  Our marriage had been impulsive. I’d known it was a risk to marry a woman who only wanted me for what I could do for her, but I’d hoped she would grow to love me. Perhaps I’d been overly optimistic in that regard, but I grew to love her more each day, and I still believed it was possible she could feel the same in time.

  When I was old and gray, what were the chances I’d still be the rector here at St. John’s? Not good, I thought, the image of Crawford Banks’ snarling face flashing before my eyes.

  No, I doubted I’d have my church family here at the end of my life.

  But maybe I could have a real family.

  Lucinda Barnes’ words echoed in my head. “You are a blessing. An unexpected joy.” She’d gone on. “Imagine what it’s like for me. My children barely talk to me. You’re my last hope.”

  My heart went out to her. The woman was misguided, but it was clear she had a huge capacity to love.

  Granted, her methods and logic were somewhat warped, but she loved hard.

  I missed my own mother, and if I was honest with myself, Lucinda’s maternal attention wasn’t entirely unwelcome.

  Standing up, I gazed at the image of Jesus and I thought his eyes found mine. My chest tightened, and I swallowed hard as I walked out into the sunlight knowing what I had to do.

  28

  Chloe

  Ever since the Barnes’ family get-together last weekend, I’d been feeling guilty about having left Eduardo to come to LA and follow my dreams. I wasn’t a silly teenager who thought she could make it big in Hollywood or something. I was more grown-up than that. I wanted to think I was more mature than that, and I was disappointed to find out how easily I could be swayed by Lucinda’s big talk. Ambition had taken hold of me and I’d allowed it to become more important to me than the man who loved me more than anyone on earth.

  He had done everything in his power to make my dreams come true, and he was still doing it even though it was to his own detriment.

  The creation and preproduction process of the show—Lucinda wanted to call it Baking with the Barnes—was a lot of fun. I enjoyed letting my creative side come out, and I liked being on TV. The director said that the camera loved me, and Lucinda agreed. The next step was to present it to some test audiences and determine which direction we should go. I figured they might not need me for that part.

  I’d been texting Eduardo all week, but the only texts I got in return were short and somewhat terse. I tried to call him, but he didn’t answer so when I picked up the phone on Thursday afternoon, I tried his office number.

  Kay answered the phone. “Hello? St. John’s church.”

  “Kay, hi, this is Chloe. Have you seen my husband? I can’t seem to get a hold of him.”

  “Oh Chloe. I’m not sure where he is right now. Things are such a mess here. With that awful Mr. Banks and his crazy witch hunt against the bishop, I just don’t know what to do.”

  “Kay.” I stopped her. “What are you talking about? What witch hunt and who is Mr. Banks?”

  “Oh, my word. He hasn’t told you about all of this?”

  “All of what? I guess not, and Kay what are you doing up there? Isn’t your husband sick?”

  Kay groaned. “Yes, but I’m so mad at him I’ve just let his mother sit up at the hospital with him. There’s only so much I can take of this drinking an
d getting into trouble and now he’s practically killed himself. I am at the end of my rope, I tell ya.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. But he is going to be okay?”

  “He’s got a busted pelvis and several other broken bones so he’ll be in the hospital for a while then he’ll have to go to a rehab facility to heal his body. Then he needs to go back to the rehab for the alcohol problem, so it’s probably going to be a while before he comes home again, and that’s if I even let him.”

  “Oh, Kay, I am so sorry that you’re going through all this. It sounds terrible. And I’m glad that Eduardo has been there for you. I miss him but I know you need him now too.”

  “Thank you, Chloe, but I’m fine. I’ve got my mama and my sister is coming in next week to see the kids and help us out. We’re planning on making it a real fun time. Lord knows I could use something to lift my spirits. But I’m okay. Bishop Soto needs you. He has been as glum as could be ever since you left. He misses you like crazy and well, I should probably let him tell you, but I’m afraid he’s in a heap of trouble.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah. These men on the vestry have accused him of all sorts of things. I know they’re not true, but they’re being quite nasty about the whole thing. Bishop Soto dictated a letter to his attorney to me this afternoon and then he left.”

  “Oh, my God. It sounds like I need to find him.”

  “I hate for you to have to come all this way, Chloe, but I think it might be a good idea. I’m afraid he’ll do something rash. Please talk some sense into him.”

  “I’m making a reservation as soon as we hang up. Thanks, Kay, and if you see him before I do, tell him I’m on my way.”

  Three hours later I was on a flight to New Orleans.

  Along the way I found myself making bargains with God. “If I can just have Eduardo back I will quit this TV nonsense and go back and just do the bakery. If I can just be his wife and we can live together and see each other every day I will go to my bakery that I’ve wanted for so long and be happy about it. Please God, and I promise I won’t be distracted by crazy visions of grandeur brought to me by his new family. If he doesn’t want me to see his new family I won’t. I will listen to him, be more sensitive to his needs, not be so selfish.”