Picturing Perfect
Page 27
"Everything was fine. The Richardson's said they'd be back in a few weeks."
"Good. What about Alexa? Did she close up for the week?"
"Not sure, at least for tomorrow. She stopped by to bring you those and get the girls sugared up for me. She had to go and get a few things for Derek, then she's heading in for the next couple days."
Derek was Alexa's husband. They'd been together since freshman year in high school and got married right after graduation. Everyone assumed she must have been pregnant, but they were just really in love and excited to start their life together. They had been married almost 6 years and still hadn't talked about having kids. She told me once that whenever she heard her biological clock start ticking, she spent a day with Piper and Lucy and hit the snooze button for another year.
"Alexa and Derek are a cute couple, aren't they?" My mom tried to ask innocently, though I knew where she was headed. I rolled my eyes and sighed, immediately wishing I hadn't said Derek's name.
"Yes, Mom, they're adorable. Don't start."
"What? I'm not starting anything, I was simply making an observation," she said, matter-of-fact.
"Mmhmm."
"Okay fine, I was starting. I just think you would be so much happier if you found someone too," she started rambling as fast as she could, "I just want to see you happy. You deserve—"
"Stop," I interrupted her. "What makes you think I'm unhappy?"
"I didn't mean unhappy. You're only twenty-four years old, Kacie. You've been single for four years now. It's about time you get back out there. What about the Richardson's son, Cameron?"
She grinned and wiggled her eyebrows up and down at me.
"Mom, first of all, I have no interest in Cameron. Second of all, I've been on dates; I had a boyfriend last year. Remember? None of them were ... I need the right guy, the perfect guy, a stable guy. I need to give up on guys that are good kissers and use my brain this time. I've dated the immature, irresponsible loser before. Look where it got me."
"It got you two beautiful children, that's where," she said defensively, as she continued putting groceries in the cabinet.
"Of course they're wonderful, Mom, but I wish we had a real family. Raising two five-year-old girls alone isn't easy," I replied, rubbing my temples and quietly wishing away the impending headache.
"Alone?" she accused, whipping around to face me. I knew I was in trouble.
"You're hardly alone, Kassandra!"
Uh-oh. She called me Kassandra, she never did that.
"I didn't mean that the way it sounded, Mom. You are extremely helpful. I just meant that I wish I had a traditional family. You know, two parents…" I said quietly, tracing the raised glass decoration on the vase with my finger, trying not to make eye contact with my mom.
"Well, it's time you got out there, Kacie, for real. Zach left, he's not coming back. Is that what you're hoping for?" My mouth dropped open as my eyes shot up to meet hers. We didn't talk about him. Not ever. Just the mention of his name made me sick to my stomach.
She continued, her voice softer this time. "He's gone, honey, and he's not coming back. You need to move on and live your life."
I stood frozen to the ground, my stomach heavy with emotion-filled rocks. Did she think I didn't know that he was gone? I lived it, every single day, I lived it. I figured she, of all people, would understand the pain of someone walking out on you. Tears stung my eyes.
"Um, I'm gonna go lay down. I don't feel so good. Can you keep an eye on the girls for me?" I spat out, hurrying to leave the kitchen before she could answer.
"Kacie, please don't go!" she called out after me, but I didn't turn back. I was already halfway down the hall leading to our apartment and right then, all I wanted was to be alone. I heard her call my name one more time as I threw myself down on my bed and cried a deep, therapeutic cry into my pillow before falling asleep.
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