“Are you trying to say that I don’t do enough to take care of you guys around here, because you can’t get a new dress for a dance?” My mother glared at me in anger.
I shook my head slowly. “That’s not what I was saying at all. I was just, um, I don’t know, I thought—”
“You thought you would throw your father up in my face the minute you don’t get what you want! I work myself to the bone to make sure you eat and have a safe place to sleep. I don’t ask anybody for a thing, and you dare to tell me that I should try to find some deadbeat loser who could care less about you. I have the right mind to slap you into next week!”
I knew I was wrong for saying that to my mother, but the truth was, I had been feeling like that more and more lately. It wasn’t just because I was jealous of Alexis’s relationship with her father. I just wondered if maybe my life would be different if my father was around.
“Mama, I didn’t mean anything by it,” I stuttered.
“Oh, you meant everything by it,” my mother hissed. “This is my last time telling you this. Your father does not exist. Stop asking me about him, stop with this fairy-tale dream that he’s going to come back into your life. And if I ever hear you bring him up again I’m going to make you wish you hadn’t.”
My mother turned and stormed out of the kitchen as I buried my face in my hands and cried.
14
I hated to say it, but I was grateful when Rachel announced we had to wrap up the meeting early because she had a family emergency. I was still bummed out about my mother going off on me and being so totally against me trying to find my father. The girls noticed it.
“What’s going on with you? You seem out of it,” Camille said as we made our way out to the parking lot. I had agreed to ride to the mall with them. I didn’t know why I did because that was only bumming me out even more.
“Yeah, I noticed it, too,” Angel added. “Nothing’s wrong with you and Donovan, is there? You guys make such a cute couple.”
“Naw, it’s nothing like that.” I sighed. “Just trying to figure out what I’m wearing to the homecoming dance. My mom said she’s not getting me a new dress and I cannot roll up in there looking all crazy. Especially with Tori trying to get her paws on my man.”
“What to wear? That’s all that’s wrong? Then I’d say you don’t have a problem.” Trina flashed a wicked grin.
“What is that look for?” I asked.
“How about we work something out?” Trina responded.
I shot her a confused look. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, we can go to the mall right now, you pick out a dress you want, I make sure you get it, and all you gotta do is write a paper for me.” Trina shrugged easily.
I shook my head. “I am not about to ask you to lift anything for me. What if you get caught? I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. I’ll just have to find another way.”
“Why are you trippin’? It’s no big deal. Trust, I’ve been doing this so long, it’s like second nature. I swear. But the choice is yours. Me, myself?” Trina pointed at her chest. “I’d be rollin’ up in that dance looking like Beyoncé herself, only better!” She and Alexis slapped their palms together in the air and giggled.
I leaned up against Alexis’s car. Stealing a dress was not the answer. I’d just have to think of something else. Maybe I could beg Alexis to loan me the money. Shoot, who was I kidding? Even if she did loan me the money, I didn’t have a job so who knew when I’d be able to pay her back.
We made our way into Memorial City Mall and the Forever 21 store. We had just stepped foot in the door when I saw it. The dress to die for. It was a burnt orange color and the way it hugged the mannequin’s body I knew I had to have it. I was surprised that I was even into a dress like that, but all I could think was how Donovan’s mouth would drop open at the sight of me in that dress.
“Tori would be sick if she saw you in that,” Trina stepped up to me and whispered. I couldn’t help but shudder at the sudden image of my grandmother warning me that Trina was like the snake in the Garden of Eden. I shook off the image and turned my attention back to the dress.
Trina walked around and fingered the dress, pulling up the price tag. “Umph. One hundred forty-eight dollars. That’s a lot of money.” She looked toward the back. “But, what do you know, they have a rack of them right there in the back and they don’t even have sensors.” She smiled and dropped the tag. “Just five pages,” Trina sang as she walked off.
I couldn’t believe she was torturing me like that. I closed my eyes. No, no, no, I kept telling myself.
“Ohhh girl, that dress is off the chain!” Camille said as she walked up to me. “Go try it on.”
Everything inside me was telling me to leave the dress alone and get the heck out of the store. There was no way I could ever afford it and trying it on would just be more torture.
“I can get a dressing room started for you,” the clerk said. I actually jumped when she said that because I didn’t see her sneak up behind me.
“Girl, go on,” Camille said.
“Yeah, it won’t hurt to at least try it on,” Angel added.
What harm was there in at least seeing how it looked? I smiled, grabbed a size ten, and headed to the dressing room.
After I slipped the dress over my head, I pulled my ponytail holder off, shook out my hair, and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked like a celebrity or something. The dress hugged my body just right. It dipped in the front just enough to show a little skin, but nothing where I’d feel uncomfortable. I walked up to the full-length mirror and closed my eyes. I could see Donovan’s reaction when he saw me in it. I could see Tori and her girls sick with envy. I could see me in this dress.
I took a deep breath, trying to come to my senses. No, I couldn’t get caught up, no matter how badly I wanted this dress. I almost started crying as I pulled the dress over my head. Why couldn’t I be rich?
I stepped out of the dressing room and almost ran into the clerk.
“How’d that work for y—”
I cut the saleslady off as I pushed the dress toward her and all but rushed out of the store. “I’ll meet y’all at the food court,” I told Camille as I raced past her. I couldn’t believe how upset I was. But life was so unfair. Here I was, trying to do right, live right, and I couldn’t even afford a stupid dress. I stomped toward the food court, trying to calm down.
Ten minutes later, I was sitting at a table in the food court sipping on a Sonic strawberry shake when my day went from bad to worse.
“Wonder how many calories are in a strawberry shake,” Tori said as she and her friends surrounded my table.
Did she follow me around just to torture me?
“I bet it’s a lot,” one of her flunkies responded. “They’re real fattening.”
Tori laughed as I cut my eyes up at her.
“Hey, Donovan likes big girls, so I guess it’s no big deal.”
I pushed my chair back and stood up. She was about to be wearing my strawberry shake.
“Down, girl,” Tori said.
“Look, tramp. I’ve had just about enough of you,” I growled.
“Ooooh, I’m shaking in my shoes,” Tori said. “I don’t understand why you’re all sensitive anyway. I wasn’t trying to be mean. I just came over to show you what I was wearing to the homecoming dance.” She turned to her girlfriend, who reached in a bag and pulled out a beautiful fuchsia halter dress. “It’s a JLo design that will turn every head in the party. Including Donovan’s.”
I was straight about to slap this witch. “If your desperate behind thinks you can get Donovan, go for it.”
“Oh, I intend to,” Tori said as she stuffed the dress back into her shopping bag. “So, consider yourself warned.”
“Ooooh, I’m shaking in my shoes,” I said just as Alexis, Trina, Camille, and Angel walked up.
“What’s going on, Jasmine?” Camille said.
I felt my nostrils flaring. “I’m two seconds from kicking Tori’s a
—”
“Such a violent girl,” Tori said, cutting me off. “Come on, y’all,” she told her girls. “Let’s go before Jasmine has us up in here fighting like some ghetto trash.”
I stepped toward her about to snatch that weave right out of her head. Camille grabbed my arm. “Chill, Jasmine. She ain’t even worth it.”
Tori laughed as they walked off.
“Ugggh,” I said, slamming my chair against the table. “I can’t stand that b—”
“What’s all this about?” Alexis cut me off.
I took a deep breath. “Nothing. She just wants my man. That’s all.”
“Whatever,” Angel said. “As if she stood a chance.”
I thought about that bad JLo dress she pulled out and saw images of her sashaying past Donovan in that dress. And me, in one of Nikki’s hand-me-down hoochie-mama party dresses. Why did people like Tori get all the breaks?
“I know you not gon’ let her show you up at the homecoming dance, are you?” Trina said.
I sighed and stared at the floor. I looked up at everyone staring at me.
“Five pages?” I asked Trina.
She broke out a big smile. “Five pages on the Civil War. That’s it.”
“Okay. But only if you promise to do my hair and makeup, too.”
“Girl, you ain’t said nothing but a word,” Trina answered, giving Alexis another high five.
I couldn’t help but feel like I’d just made a deal with the devil.
15
“G o Jazzy. Get busy. Go Jazzy. Get busy, get busy…”
My girls had me hyped as they sang and waved their hands around me. I was surprising myself as I dropped it like it’s hot on the dance floor with Donovan. Camille, Alexis, and Angel were all standing on the edge of the dance floor, probably shocked themselves because I was not one to get wild, but I was having the time of my life.
I couldn’t remember a time when I had enjoyed myself so much at a school dance. When me and Donovan stood in line to take our homecoming pictures, everybody and their mama was complimenting me about my dress or asking where I had bought it.
Now, as Donovan held me close on the dance floor while we were jamming to R. Kelly’s latest slow song, I was on cloud nine. Honestly, I wasn’t the only one who looked good. My girls were holding their own, too.
This had to go down in history as the best school dance ever. When the song went off, I told Donovan I needed to go to the ladies’ room. Alexis, Camille, and Angel caught up with me and we all went in together.
As we stood in the mirror touching up our makeup, I still couldn’t believe this was my life. What a difference a year makes. When I met Alexis, Camille, and Angel, you couldn’t have paid me to believe I’d be standing here in a dress, excited about a party. This was the way things were supposed to be.
“Excuse me.”
I turned my head at the sound of the voice behind me.
“Um, I was just wondering, where did you get that dress?” the girl asked me.
“Oh. Forever 21.” I smiled and turned back to the mirror.
“It’s real nice. And you’re one of only a few people who isn’t dressed like somebody else. I’ve seen two people with my dress on, exact same color and everything,” she said, sulking.
“Don’t you hate when that happens,” Alexis piped in.
“Thank you for the compliment,” I told the girl as we made our way out of the restroom and back to the table.
“Why is it you girls can’t go to the restroom alone,” Phil, Alexis’s date joked. “Do y’all help each other pee or something?” We rolled our eyes at him.
“Why do you have to be so disgusting?” Alexis said.
“You know your boy is nasty,” I said. “Ouch!” I screamed in almost the same breath. I was about to ask Angel why she had kicked me. Then I noticed her motion toward a small crowd near the door.
I could feel the blood drain from my face. My mother, dressed in her security guard uniform, was looking all around the gym, calling my name. She spotted me, then came rushing toward our table.
“Ohmigod!” I said. Something had to be wrong. Why else would she come barging into the school dance? Without thinking, I jumped up from my chair to head off my mom. I heard Donovan calling after me, but I was determined to see what in the world was going on.
“Ma! What are you doing here?” I said as I nervously looked over my shoulder.
“Just who do you think you are talking to me like that?” my mother asked.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Ma, I didn’t mean nothing by it. I’m just so shocked to see you here, that’s all.”
She rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry to break up your fun, but we need to go. Your grandmother had to go see after Miss Mattie, who took a turn for the worse. Nikki’s at work and Jaquan is still at basketball camp. The boys are having a sleepover. All of them are in the car and I got called in to work. So I need you to come home and watch them.”
I frowned, looking at my mother like she was speaking Portuguese. I shook my head as if that might make this all go away.
“Wait a minute—you came to get me so I could leave the dance early to watch Jalen and his little stupid friends?”
“And? You act like that’s a problem for you. I got called in to work the second shift tonight, so you need to come on. They needed me there five minutes ago,” my mother snapped.
I was so mad, I didn’t know what to do. I thought for sure I’d explode with anger. But I knew I just needed to go quietly before my mother embarrassed me anymore.
“Ma?”
My mother gave me a look that said, don’t even try me right about now.
“Can I at least tell my friends that I need to leave and I’ll catch up with them later?”
My mother looked toward the table where everyone was watching my every move.
“Go on. But make it quick. I need to get to work.”
I pulled myself back to the table, despite all of the eyes gawking at me. People were pointing and whispering. I was so embarrassed, I just wanted to run from the building, go home, pack, and just disappear.
“Um, Donovan, I’m so sorry, but my grandmother is sick, I gotta go.”
“What? Like right now? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?” he asked as he stood.
“No, no, you stay and enjoy yourself. I just um, I gotta be by her side.”
“We can come with you,” Alexis offered.
“No, girl. Y’all stay and hold things down. I mean, what are you gonna do in some stale, funky emergency room? Besides, I need you guys to keep an eye on my…well, you know I need somebody to look out for my interests,” I tried to joke.
I could see the disappointment on Donovan’s face, but I knew there was nothing I could do. When he walked over to me, I just knew he wasn’t going to make this easy.
“At least I can walk you out, huh?”
“Maybe to the door. My mom is pretty upset,” I lied.
“Oh, I can imagine,” he offered as he put his arm around my waist. I felt horrible lying to him and my friends but I knew I had no other choice. I could never admit to them that my mother had pulled me away from a dance to babysit. I mean, this was too much.
By the time me and Donovan said our good-byes at the door, I had made up my mind about exactly what I had to do. And I’d start first thing tomorrow with my aunt, who despite her best efforts couldn’t hold water if her life depended on it. If anyone knew how I could find my father, she did.
16
I knew I had to butter my aunt up. And if there was any way to do that, it was by telling her that her cooking was the best in the world.
“Auntie Teela, thank you so much for the food. It was delicious,” I said as I watched my aunt move around the kitchen in her small townhome. She was the complete opposite of my mother—jolly all the time and hadn’t worked in twenty years. She and my mom didn’t really get along, but I tried to come visit her whenever I could. Especially since me and her da
ughter LaWanda were the same age.
“Thank you, baby. It’s just a little something I threw together.” She moved my plate to the sink. “You know your cousin is still at her dad’s. She’s gonna be so mad she missed you.”
“Yeah, but it’s like I told you on the phone last night, I really need to talk to you about something that, well, um…” I paused. “I just can’t talk to my mom about this.”
My aunt chuckled. “Oh, chile, you ain’t gotta tell me how my sister can be. Remember, I grew up with her, so I know what she’s like.” She reached for my hands. “Now you know you can tell your Tee-Tee anything,” she said. The phone rang and my aunt looked in its direction.
“Mmph, I need to get that. You don’t mind, do you?” She dropped my hand before I could answer and dove for the phone.
“Hello?” Aunt Teela rolled her eyes dramatically and threw one hand to her hip. “Now I done already told you, you need to kick that bum to the curb. I don’t see why you still chasing after his old tired tail,” she said into the phone.
I sighed as I listened to my aunt. Here I was trying to find out some important information and she was on the phone gossiping. I shot her an impatient look.
“You know what, Evelyn? My niece is over here. She needs to talk to me about something she can’t discuss with her mama.” Aunt Teela tsked. “Hmm, tell me about it, chile. She betta not be pregnant, girl. My crazy sister would beat it right outta her and that’s no lie.” My aunt laughed.
I cleared my throat loudly and shot her another look.
“Anyway girl, lemme see what kind of teenage drama she got going on. I’ll call you as soon as she leaves,” Aunt Teela promised.
My aunt placed the phone back in its cradle and sat down across from me.
She folded her arms and leaned back in the chair.
“Okay, so you were saying you can’t talk to your mom about this. Well, you made the right move by coming here. Now, who is he?”
I frowned at her. “Who is who?”
“Girl, you don’t think I know what’s going on here?”
Blessings in Disguise Page 7