The Diva Serves High Tea

by Krista Davis

  Mars responded wryly, “Physically or mentally?”

  I headed for the stairs.

  “Not that way!” called Mars. He pointed to the gate that led to the backyard. “That way.”

  Nina and I raced along the side of the house. When we reached the backyard, I stopped so abruptly that she bumped into me.

  Natasha wore a glittery beaded bronze top under black leather overalls that were skin tight on her long legs. The spiky heels on her shoes made her stagger like a drunk as they pierced the ground and lodged in it. A dozen full-grown chickens pecked at the grass she didn’t allow Daisy to step on, and she seemed to be trying to catch one of the birds.

  A turquoise-blue chicken condo had appeared in the back corner of her lot.

  A police officer appeared to be losing his patience with her. And in the middle of the chaos, Wanda flung handfuls of something at the policeman.

  “Ma’am, will you please stop doing that?” He uttered it at Wanda tersely.

  I scurried over to her. “Wanda, I think you’re making him angry.”

  “Then we’re even, ’cause I’m hoppin’ mad!” She leaned toward me and whispered, “It’s to make him go away.”

  The officer looked at Nina and me. “Do you live here, too?”

  “No. We’re just friends. Natasha, what’s going on?”

  Her thin lips tightened. “Do not steal this from me. You’re much more believable as the country diva than I am, but I call dibs on this gig.”

  “He wants to take away our chickens,” said Wanda.

  Natasha was busy trying to scrape chicken poo off her shoe. Were those Louboutins?

  “I’m pretty sure there must be ordinances about chickens.”

  “Thank you,” shouted the officer, raising his arms in joy. “Two hundred feet. You cannot have chickens within two hundred feet of another dwelling.”

  I wasn’t the best judge of measurements but I had a hunch Natasha’s backyard wasn’t even two hundred feet wide. “And where exactly would that line fall from the house on the side?”

  “It would be across the street and over on the next lot somewhere. Which would tell most people”—his eyes got very big—“that even if there were two hundred feet from one side, there wouldn’t be two hundred feet from the other side.”

  The lots in Old Town were definitely narrow. Very few homes would meet the two-hundred-feet requirement. Maybe some of the mega-mansions, but those owners probably weren’t particularly interested in raising chickens. “Natasha?”

  “I told him to call Wolf. He always gets you out of trouble.”

  “Ma’am, I told you before. Wolf is not going to come to the rescue. You have illegal chickens. I’m sorry, but if you don’t remove them, I’ll be forced to bring animal control out here.”

  “Who complained?” I asked.

  “Six neighbors! Will you stop throwing that stuff at me?”

  I grabbed the bag from Wanda. The aroma of the contents wafted to me. I peered at it. “Is this dill?”

  “Marjoram and dill.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “To ward off the evil man.”

  I sealed the bag, noting that Mars looked on with amusement.

  I debated who would be more sensible and appealed to Wanda. Grabbing her arm to get her attention, I said, “Wanda, there are laws against raising chickens here. Honey, look around. You know there’s not enough room for livestock. If Natasha wants to be the country diva then she should live in the country. Maybe near Berrysville!” That should do it. Wanda would be thrilled if Natasha lived closer to her.

  Natasha eyed me. Her chest heaved. “Oh no, you don’t. I thought you were my friend, but I see what’s going on.” Her gaze drifted to Mars.

  “Sophie, that’s a wonderful idea. I’ll call Harvey Gooch. Nat, I bet he’ll keep your chickens while you move down to Berrysville.”

  “Mom!”

  Mars finally stepped in. “Nat, I’m sorry. Sophie is right. You had your photo shoot and now it’s time to send the chickens someplace else. You would be the first person to complain if the neighbors kept pigs or cows in their backyards.”

  “That’s not the same at all. Those are big animals.”

  “Natasha, you had a country house,” I said. “Remember? But you sold it to move here. Why did you want to live in Old Town?”

  “For the same reason you do. It’s so chic and elegant. I love walking the streets of Old Town. What a stupid question.” She bent to pick up a chicken that pecked near her shoe, slid, and fell face-first on the lawn. The officer helped her up. She wiped chicken poo off her leather overalls but evidently didn’t know it was on her cheek as well. Holding her hands in the air, her fingers stiff with revulsion, she said, “Go ahead and call Harvey, Mom.” She shook a finger at the police officer. “But I want to be clear that I’m not doing this because of some stupid regulation. I just don’t like a messy yard.” She strode toward the house holding her head high.

  Wanda hurried after her.

  “Is that satisfactory?” I asked the officer.

  “Yeah. But I’m coming back in the morning. If the chickens are still here, animal control will remove them.”

  Dusk was settling on Old Town when I returned home. I’d been in the house for less than one hour when Alex knocked on the kitchen door.

  I opened the door, and he held up white bags. “I brought a peace offering.”

  “Come on in!”

  He set the bags on the kitchen counter. “Chinese okay?”

  “Sounds great.” I fetched square white plates and set the table. “White wine?” I asked.

  “Sure. I could use a drink.” He chuckled. “I’m starting to sound like Kevin.”

  “He’s such a funny little guy.”

  “Did I tell you he’s my godson? I’m almost sorry he won’t be living with me for a while.”

  “About that . . .” I said.

  Alex winced. “Sophie, I wasn’t keeping anything from you. I swear! Elise showed up and sprang it on me.” He leaned against the island while I poured the wine. “There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for Kevin, so when she asked if he could stay with me, I was surprised but willing. It never occurred to me that she wouldn’t have discussed it with Rosey first. They’re old friends. You know what that’s like. You’re surrounded by friends all the time.”

  I could understand that. Kevin was a very special little kid. I’d have wanted to help him, too. “But what about the necklace and cozy family dinners?”

  “Cozy family dinners?” Alex’s brow furrowed. “I’m an idiot. I can see how it might have seemed that way, but it was nothing more than showing an old friend a nice time while she and my godson were in town. You’d have done the same.”

  Reluctantly, I conceded that he was absolutely right. I would have.

  “If the situation had been reversed, I probably would have come to the same conclusions. Although you should know me well enough to realize that I never would have spent the night with her and left Kevin by himself. And if he had been at my place, trust me, there wouldn’t have been any hanky-panky.”

  I couldn’t help grinning. It would have been out of character for him. “She had us both going. Why were you friends with someone who was so deceptive?”

  “I never saw that side of her before. Rosey insists it was there all along. He was married to her but didn’t see the crazy, manipulative side for a few years. Apparently, some people warned him, including one of our professors, but he just didn’t believe it.”

  Alex brought containers of food to the table. “Kung-pao chicken, shrimp lo mein, moo-shu pork, garlic beans.”

  “How many people were you planning to kiss up to?”

  “I wasn’t sure what you would like. Thought I’d just take a chance. And Chinese leftovers are always good. Shall I light a fire?”

  “That w
ould be great.”

  Alex lit kindling while I added candles to the table and dimmed the lights.

  “Sophie?” Alex rose and faced me. “I didn’t know you were at the tea auction. The truth is that I bid on the sapphire necklace as a surprise for you.”

  “It was a surprise, all right! Kind of funny, though, that you were bidding against me.”

  Alex wrapped me in his arms and kissed me.

  I savored his kiss for a moment then pushed him away. “Hold everything! If you bought the necklace for me, then how did Elise end up with it?”

  Alex groaned. “I guess she misunderstood. She was so excited about it and things were going so rotten for her because of the divorce and all that I didn’t have the heart to take it away.”

  “You’re a big softie.” I didn’t mention that I happened to find that a very attractive quality in a man, but he might have guessed by the lingering kiss that followed.

  With our issues cleared up, we nestled in the banquette. The fire crackled and the warm glow made our world seem cozy and calm.

  We ate with chopsticks, digging into the savory dishes. It was almost hard to remember that Elise had been murdered.

  “How are things with Kevin’s dad?” I asked eventually.

  Alex drew a deep breath and sipped his wine. “It’s been a rough day. Rosey was formally arrested for Elise’s murder.”

  “So I heard. Did you bail him out?”

  “Working on it. The bail is high because of the grisly nature of the murder and the fact that he’s not local. He’s a flight risk. And his funds are a little complicated because of the pending divorce.”

  “Kevin is with Rosey’s parents?”

  He nodded. “And now Elise’s parents have arrived because they want him, too. It’s all a big mess.”

  I picked up lo mein with the chopsticks and took a bite of the warm noodles.

  “I never thought I’d end up representing Rosey in a murder case. Funny, people always say to me that so-and-so couldn’t have done it. And now I find myself thinking the very same thing. There’s no way the Rosey I know would have killed Elise.” He studied the container of kung-pao chicken. “You know what a great kid Kevin is? He gets it from his dad. Rosey is a good egg. He never could have been violent toward Elise.”

  Alex placed his chopsticks on his plate and looked at me. “Listen, I think they’re going to base their case, at least in part, on what Elise said to you. Are you certain that she said Rosey?”

  He stared at me with hopeful intensity.

  I understood how much was riding on my correct memory of what she’d said. I tried to go back to that moment in my mind. Elise, laying on the ground in the dark, saying Rosey. Was there any possibility that Elise had said something else? “I’m sorry, Alex. It sounded like Rosey to me. Maybe there are other words that you could argue would make more sense? Mosey? Cozy?” Even as I said them I knew they didn’t sound enough like Rosey. “Nina heard her, too.”

  “I know. I already talked to Nina. She’s even more sure than you seem to be.”

  That sounded like Nina. “What about the police where they live? Didn’t Rosey report Kevin missing? Can’t they confirm that Rosey wasn’t here when she was murdered?”

  Alex sucked in a long breath. “He didn’t go to the police. Both of them practice law, and Rosey didn’t want their marital problems made more public. If they lose their clients, it will only exacerbate the situation.”

  “Surely someone saw Rosey where he lives so you can prove he wasn’t here in Old Town. What about his girlfriend?”

  “The girlfriend has been in London on a business trip. But it’s even worse than that.” Alex loosened his tie and slid it off as though it was strangling him. “Rosey was driving all over creation looking for Elise and Kevin. He went to her mom’s house, a cabin that a friend owns, her best friend’s house. He’s been sitting in his car staking out these places, hoping to spot Kevin.”

  “He probably used his cell phone. Won’t that show he wasn’t anywhere near here?”

  “Maybe. We’re getting the records.” He didn’t seem any happier.

  To me, that seemed like it would solve the problem. Unless . . . “Some of those places were close to here, weren’t they?”

  Alex didn’t respond.

  “Close enough to drive in and kill Elise?”

  He winced like I’d punched him in the stomach, but he nodded.

  “But Rosey is a lawyer, right? Wouldn’t he have been smart enough to set himself up with an alibi? Wouldn’t he have planned it better?”

  “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? I think that speaks to his innocence. He didn’t plan to murder Elise.”

  Or he was so nuts about Elise stealing Kevin that he wasn’t thinking straight. It didn’t look good for Kevin’s dad. “I know what I heard, Alex. But maybe she was slurring her words or unable to move her tongue or her lips. I thought that could be the case with Robert.”

  Alex rested against the back cushion of the banquette. “I’ve been thinking about Robert. It’s Rosey’s only chance. I have to build a case linking their deaths to this other Rosie. Do you still have your copy of the notes?”

  I fetched them and brought them to the table.

  Alex pointed at the most dire message and read it aloud.

  Roses are blood red

  Now I bid you adieu.

  Rosie is dead

  And so are you.

  “I think it’s significant that this Rosie is spelled differently.” He said it almost triumphantly. “And it says that Rosie is dead.”

  “A dead Rosie, spelled any way you like, could not have stabbed Elise.”

  “First of all, we don’t know that Rosie with an ie is really dead. And second, they didn’t tell you Rosey with an ey killed them. They just said Rosie. Right?”

  “Right. But I don’t know how you’re going to connect Robert and Elise.”

  Alex groaned. “There’s something you don’t know.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Dear Natasha,

  I have always served jasmine tea with Chinese food. But now someone has suggested to me that jasmine tea isn’t real tea at all but an herbal tea. I’m mortified! Which is it?

  —Always Proper in Jasmine, Arkansas

  Dear Always Proper,

  You are a hostess after my own heart. True tea comes from the leaves of the Camellia sinensis tree. Fortunately, you have not committed a gaffe. Jasmine is usually added to real tea, green or black, as a flavoring to create jasmine tea.

  —Natasha

  “Elise had an affair with Robert.”

  I nearly choked on a bite of chicken. Alex patted me on the back and held out my wineglass to me.

  “I’m having a lot of trouble imagining that. How do you know?”

  “Rosey found out. He was suspicious and followed Elise one day.”

  “Let me guess. That’s what broke up their marriage?”

  “I gather that started the downward spiral,” Alex said.

  “So Elise was the one who broke up the marriage? Not the evil girlfriend?” I coughed and drank some wine. “Oh! Maybe that’s where she went her first night here. She couldn’t exactly take Kevin to see her former lover.”

  “Possibly. I wish I had a witness. If only someone had seen her there.”

  “How would that help?” I asked.

  “It would confirm the connection between them and that their deaths might have something to do with the other Rosie.”

  “You don’t suppose Elise brought Robert something that was contaminated by botulism?”

  “What?” Alex said. “I thought Bernie’s place was the source of that.”

  “Probably not. Elise was acting strange if you ask me. If she wasn’t dating you, then she was spouting a lot of lies. I heard her talking about you.”


  “I’ve given that some thought. I think she wanted to make Rosey jealous, and I happened to be handy.”

  “I guess that’s not totally implausible,” I said. “But Rosey wasn’t around to hear her. Why tell other people who didn’t know or care?”

  “I think that might have been for your benefit.”

  “Or for Robert’s! He was watching her like a hawk.”

  “Soph, were you serious about helping Kevin?”

  Uh-oh. Here came the real reason for his visit. “Yes. It breaks my heart to imagine that he’ll lose both his parents. His mother’s death is a tragedy but to have his dad in prison, too? That’s horrible. No kid should have to go through that.”

  “You know Velma and some of her crowd. Plus you’re kind of nosy.”

  “Thank you. I’m so flattered,” I said drolly.

  “Would you snoop around? See if you can dig up anything about this Rosie?” he asked.

  “How am I supposed to do that? It’s not like I can ask Robert, and Velma says she doesn’t know anything about a Rosie. Hey, is Rosey going to be charged with Robert’s murder, too?”

  “I don’t know yet. Word is that unless the prosecutor can find some decent evidence, the only thing they have is his last word.”

  “If Rosey was jealous of Robert, I guess they have a motive,” I said.

  “You think a jury is going to buy that Rosey brought Robert some tainted soup or something? There’s no evidence of that.”

  I saw his point. Wolf had said all along that botulism was an accident. Even if they knew what he had eaten, convincing a jury that it was intentional might be tough. “All right. I’ll be my usual nosy self. If finding out about Rosie is the only way to prove that Kevin’s dad is innocent, I’ll do my best to help you.”

  “Thanks, Soph. More lo mein?”

  Alex left early. I wasn’t surprised. It had been nice of him to stop by with dinner, even if he did have an ulterior motive. I just didn’t know quite where to start my search for the elusive Rosie. I checked out Hunter Landon and Edward Landon on the Internet but found nothing of interest.