The Diva Serves High Tea

by Krista Davis

  “When you come back for a visit, be sure to come see me, okay?”

  His father groaned. “Nothing personal. This is a pretty place but I don’t believe I’ll be crossing the border into Virginia for a while.”

  I could understand that.

  Two days later, the whole gang met at The Laughing Hound’s grand reopening. It didn’t appear that anyone in Old Town was worried about botulism, because everyone turned out. I mingled with a wineglass in my hand.

  Nina rushed up to me. “Look! Bernie’s serving warm pimento dip!”

  “I’ve always said everyone has some domestic diva in them. Even you, Nina.”

  I spied Callie with Hunter and Natasha. “What’s going to happen with The Parlour?”

  “You wouldn’t believe it. When news got out about Martha murdering Robert to avenge Rosie’s death, people packed the place! Who’d have expected that? We’ve been so busy I can hardly keep up.”

  “I think she should buy it from Martha,” said Hunter.

  “I don’t have the money for that.” Callie shook her head.

  “And I keep telling you that I could finance it.”

  “I keep telling you that I’m not taking your money! Besides, I don’t know if I could do it without Martha. She brought a certain elegance to the place.”

  Natasha gasped. “I could be your Martha. I could buy The Parlour, and you could work for me!”

  Callie smiled graciously but when Natasha chattered on about painting it gray and replacing the tables with Lucite and reupholstering the sofas in black, Callie leaned over and whispered in my ear, “There aren’t enough pillows in the world . . .”

  Velma wandered up to join us.

  Natasha grabbed her arm. “Is it true that you’re going to keep the antiques store open?”

  “I had mixed feelings about it. But people have short memories. I think they’ll shop there if I change the name, don’t you?”

  “How would you like to buy back some pieces I bought from Robert?” asked Natasha.

  “I knew it!” I shouldn’t have blurted it quite that way. “You hate antiques. Why did you buy them in the first place?”

  Natasha’s gaze wandered but apparently she wasn’t finding a suitable way to get out of a truthful answer. With a heavy sigh, she said, “I wanted him to like me. I kept going into his store to chat and wound up buying things.”

  “You couldn’t just buy a vase?”

  “I might have sort of told him that I was planning to redecorate the house with antiques when Mars left. Don’t you roll your eyes at me, Sophie. You have bigger problems attracting men than I do!”

  At that moment, Alex showed up and kissed me on the cheek. “Looks like a great turnout!”

  I couldn’t help grinning at Natasha. “How’s Kevin?”

  “He missed a little school, but with the help of a tutor, they think he can catch up. He’s a bright little guy.”

  “I guess his dad is happy to have this behind him.”

  Nina joined us. “Alex, you knew Elise better than any of us. Why do you think she said Rosie?”

  “Her husband, Rosey, wants to think she was calling for him. That in her last moment, she cried out for the one person she thought she could count on. Now that I know about Elise’s dark side, I think she couldn’t remember Martha’s name, but she knew that Martha was involved with Rosie. She probably wanted to pin blame on Martha, but Rosie was the best she could do as she died.”

  “Any word on Martha and Max?” asked Nina.

  “Max is out of the hospital. You know, in a weird way, love was at the root of a lot this.”

  “Love?” Was he serious?

  “Sure. Rosie’s brother tracked down Robert out of love for his sister. Robert moved here because he still loved Martha. Martha loved her husband, Max, and didn’t want him to find out about her previous engagement or that she was involved with Rosie’s murder.”

  “Martha acted so odd when I mentioned that she worked long hours. She denied it right away, as if she didn’t want Max to know.”

  Alex chuckled. “Turns out she was running around town at night trying to dump the dishes that were tainted by botulism. She was afraid to wash them in her sink in case it was inspected and remnants clung to the pipes. Apparently, she was slipping crushed sleeping pills into her husband’s dinner every night so he wouldn’t know she was gone.”

  “Then why did Max come after me? If he wasn’t attacking women, why did he pick on me?”

  Bernie overheard us as he swapped my wine for a glass of champagne. “Because he loved Martha. She finally told him about Robert. They were afraid you would sort it all out. You, my dear friend, were the one who was putting the pieces together.”

  “How do you know that?” asked Alex.

  “Rumors, my man. I hear a lot of rumors here. Besides, it’s not too hard to figure out. I’d have done the same thing for Sophie.” He clinked his champagne glass to mine.

  Nina and I walked home with Hunter and Callie. I wasn’t quite sure why, since Callie lived in the other direction. We were almost at our block when Nina made a phone call.

  When we reached her house, the door opened and little Peanut bounded out to us. Hunter picked him up, and Peanut rewarded him with puppy kisses. He laughed and said, “Thanks, Nina.”

  “You’re adopting Peanut?”

  “I spent a long time searching for Robert, Sophie. It didn’t bring Rosie back but I did everything I could for her. It’s time I lived my life now.” He flashed a fond glance at Callie, who was petting Peanut.

  “I thought you couldn’t have dogs until you bought a place.”

  “The ink is drying on the contract. The house is empty, so I’m renting it for a month until the sale closes.”

  “Robert’s house?” I asked.

  “No, I’m getting a fixer-upper.” He glanced at Callie. “But I think it will do just fine for two people and a pup.”

  Callie and Hunter walked away with Peanut, and Nina went home to pay the dog sitter.

  I breathed the night air, relieved that no one was lurking in the shadows anymore. I unlocked my front door, latched Daisy’s leash on her collar, and strolled with her under the streetlamps.

  Suddenly, we heard a scream. A bloodcurdling scream of total hysteria. And then the word Mom echoed through the entire neighborhood.

  “Daisy,” I said, “I believe Natasha finally found those chickens.”

  RECIPES

  Cucumber Sandwiches

  ½ cucumber

  salt

  good-quality soft white bread

  unsalted butter (or mayonnaise)

  Peel the cucumber and slice as thin as possible. Sprinkle with a pinch of salt and allow to drain in a colander for about 20 minutes. Butter the bread. Pat the cucumber slices dry. Layer them on the bread, overlapping them. Top with another slice of buttered bread. Cut off the crusts. Cut the sandwiches into thin bite-sized rectangles, or dainty triangles.

  Lemon Tarts

  PASTRY

  1¾ cups flour plus extra for rolling out

  7 tablespoons cold butter

  ½ cup powdered sugar

  1 cold egg

  Cut the butter into 7 pieces. In a food processor whir together the flour and the butter until the butter disappears. Add the powdered sugar. Pulse to combine. Add the egg and whir until it starts to form a ball. Shape into a ball, wrap in wax paper, and refrigerate for ½ hour. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Roll out the dough and cut into 3- to 4-inch circles. Tuck the circles into the wells of a cupcake pan and bake 12–15 minutes until baked and light golden.

  FILLING

  6 tablespoons butter, room temperature

  1 cup sugar

  4 eggs

  ½ cup lemon juice

  ⅛ teaspoon salt

  1 teaspoon lemon zest (o
ptional)

  Cream the butter with the sugar in a stand mixer. Beat in each egg. Add the lemon juice, salt, and lemon zest (if using) and beat. In a heavy-bottomed saucepan, cook over low heat until it begins to bubble, roughly 10 minutes. Pour into baked shells and refrigerate until firm.

  Bacon Cheddar Cheese Scones

  2 cups flour plus extra for kneading

  1 tablespoon baking powder

  ½ teaspoon salt

  4 tablespoons cold unsalted butter

  1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese

  1 egg

  ½ cup heavy cream

  1 tablespoon mustard

  1 cup (about 5 slices) crumbled cooked bacon

  Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Cover a baking sheet with parchment paper.

  Place the pastry blade into a food processor and add the flour, baking powder, and salt. Pulse twice. Cut the butter into cubes. Add to the flour, along with the cheese, and pulse until combined and the butter is barely visible anymore.

  In a large bowl, whisk together the egg, cream, and mustard. Turn out the flour mixture on top of it and mix gently with a large serving spoon two or three times. Add the bacon and mix until large clumps begin to take shape.

  Sprinkle flour on a cutting board and dust your hands with flour. Turn the dough onto the cutting board and knead 8–10 times, adding just a sprinkle of flour if necessary. Pat the dough into a 9-inch cake pan. Turn it out onto the parchment paper and cut the round into 8 equal pieces with a very sharp knife. It’s best to press the knife into the dough instead of dragging it through the dough. Slide a knife or thin spatula under each slice and pull away from the center slightly to separate them. (At this point they can be frozen up to one month and baked when needed.) Bake 20–22 minutes. Serve plain or with Maple Bourbon Butter.

  MAPLE BOURBON BUTTER

  4 tablespoons (½ stick) unsalted butter

  1 teaspoon maple syrup

  1 teaspoon bourbon (plain, not flavored)

  Bring the butter to room temperature so it is soft. Place the butter, maple syrup, and bourbon in a mini food processor and combine. Place in a mold or shape by hand and refrigerate. (Note: this can also be done in a bowl with a fork, but I find I get better results with a food processor.)

  Pumpkin Scones

  Author’s note: Thanks to the pumpkin, these scones will not be as dry as most scones. Serve them plain, with Bourbon Cream, or top with one or both of the following sugar drizzles.

  2 cups flour plus extra for kneading

  ¼ cup pecans

  ⅓ cup dark brown sugar

  1 tablespoon baking powder

  ½ teaspoon salt

  1 teaspoon cinnamon

  ½ teaspoon cloves

  ½ teaspoon ginger

  ¼ teaspoon nutmeg

  6 tablespoons cold unsalted butter

  1 egg

  ½ cup heavy cream

  ½ cup pumpkin

  Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Cover a baking sheet with parchment paper.

  Place the cutting blade into a food processor and add the flour, pecans, brown sugar, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, and nutmeg. Process until the pecans are fine. Cut the butter into tablespoons, and then into 24 small cubes. Add to the flour and pulse until combined and the butter is barely visible anymore.

  In a large bowl, whisk together the egg, cream, and pumpkin. Turn out the flour mixture on top of it and mix gently with a large serving spoon until large clumps begin to take shape.

  Sprinkle flour on a cutting board and flour your hands. Turn the dough onto the cutting board and knead 10–12 times, adding just a sprinkle of flour if necessary. Pat the dough into a 9-inch cake pan. Turn it out onto the parchment paper and cut the round into 8 equal pieces with a very sharp knife. It’s best to press the knife into the dough instead of dragging it through the dough. Slide a knife or thin spatula under each slice and pull away from the center slightly to separate them. (At this point they can be frozen up to one month and baked when needed.) Bake 12–15 minutes.

  PUMPKIN SCONE SUGAR DRIZZLE (OPTIONAL)

  1 cup powdered sugar

  2 tablespoons milk or cream

  Whisk to combine, adding milk gradually until it’s smooth and of just-past-spreading consistency. Spread over the tops of the cooled scones.

  PUMPKIN SCONE SPICED SUGAR DRIZZLE (OPTIONAL)

  1 cup powdered sugar

  ¼ teaspoon cinnamon

  ⅛ teaspoon nutmeg

  pinch of cloves

  ¼ teaspoon vanilla

  3–4 teaspoons milk or cream

  Whisk the dry ingredients to combine. Slowly add the vanilla and part of the milk, and mix, adding milk until it reaches drizzle consistency. Use mini whisk, fork, or squeeze bottle to drizzle over the scones.

  BOURBON CREAM

  1 cup heavy cream

  ⅓ cup powdered sugar

  ¼ teaspoon vanilla

  1 tablespoon bourbon

  Whip the cream until it begins to take shape. Add the powdered sugar, the vanilla, and the bourbon and beat until it holds a soft peak.

  Caramel Appletinis

  2 ounces apple vodka

  1 ounce butterscotch schnapps

  garnish with an apple slice

  Mix the vodka with the schnapps in a martini glass. Cut a notch into the inner side of an apple slice and place on the rim of the glass.

  Apple Crostata

  PASTRY

  1 cup flour plus extra for rolling out

  1 tablespoon sugar

  pinch kosher salt

  7 tablespoons cold butter

  1 tablespoon vodka

  1 tablespoon ice cold water

  1 egg beaten

  2 teaspoons sugar

  Place flour, sugar, and salt in a food processor. Pulse to combine. Cut the butter into 12 pieces. Add to food processor. Pulse, pulse, pulse until butter is tiny. Add vodka and ice water and pulse until the dough begins to cling together but stop before it becomes a ball. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for one hour.

  FILLING

  3 apples

  2 tablespoons crushed honey graham crackers

  2 tablespoons brown sugar (or more if you have a sweet tooth)

  1 teaspoon apple pie spice

  1 teaspoon lemon juice

  Peel and slice the apples. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Toss the apples, graham cracker crumbs, brown sugar, apple pie spice, and lemon juice in a bowl.

  Dust your work surface with flour. Roll the dough into a circle about 9 inches in diameter. It’s okay if it’s not a perfect circle. Move to parchment paper at this point. Spoon the apple mixture into the middle and spread a bit toward the edges, leaving the outer 1½ inches or so empty. Fold the edge up over the filling, turning and folding until complete. Brush with egg wash and sprinkle with remaining 2 teaspoons of sugar. Bake 20–25 minutes or until golden.

  Serve warm with vanilla ice cream or whipped cream.

  Warm Pimento Cheese Dip

  1 container pimento cheese

  1 box of your favorite crackers

  Spoon the pimento cheese into a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave 20–30 seconds until creamy. Serve with crackers.

  Thick Pork Chops with Bourbon Cider Cream Sauce

  2 tablespoons high temperature oil like sunflower (not olive oil!)

  2 two-inch-thick pork chops with rib

  salt and pepper

  1 cup apple cider or apple juice

  1½ tablespoons packed light brown sugar

  1 tablespoon prepared mustard

  1 tablespoon bourbon

  ¼ cup heavy cream

  Wash the pork chops and dry with paper towels. Salt and pepper both sides. Let them rest on the kitchen counter. Heat a heavy pan on medium high for about three to four minutes. Meanwhile, line a lipped
baking tray with foil and slide it into the oven. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Add the oil to the pan on the stove. Give it a minute to heat up and then add the pork chops. Brown on each side for 4 minutes. Move the browned chops to the hot baking pan and roast in oven. Pour off all but 1 tablespoon of the liquid in the pan. Pour in the apple juice and scrape up any bits sticking to the pan (deglaze). Add the brown sugar, mustard, and bourbon. Bring to a simmer, whisking as needed to blend. Check the internal temperature of the meat after 8 minutes. You’re shooting for 140–145 degrees. When it reaches the correct temperature, remove from the pan and let stand for 5–10 minutes. Just before serving, remove the pan with the sauce from the heat, stir in the cream, and pour over the pork chops to serve.

  (makes 2, double recipe for 4)

  KEEP READING FOR A PREVIEW OF KRISTA DAVIS’S NEXT CLAWS & PAWS MYSTERY . . .

  Mission Impawsible

  COMING SOON FROM BERKLEY PRIME CRIME!

  The greatest love is a mother’s; then a dog’s; then a sweetheart’s.

  —POLISH PROVERB

  By six o’clock on Thursday afternoon, one Gustav Vogel had failed to check into his room at the Sugar Maple Inn. Ordinarily, this would not be a matter of concern or great consequence. But it wasn’t an ordinary day. It was the first day of the Animal Attraction matchmaking event in Wagtail. All our other guests had arrived and were already participating.

  We were always booked in the summer, and this particular week had filled up especially fast. Gustav had a mere three hours to go before he forfeited his reservation, and we could give his room to someone else.

  It was my turn to take over the Live, Love, Bark table. I left the mayhem at the reception desk as people poured through the door, hoping we still had rooms available. Until nine o’clock arrived, we had to turn them away. I stepped out onto the front porch that spanned the main building of the Sugar Maple Inn and observed the crowd that had collected on the plaza.