Saint And Sinners: The King Angel Child of New York

by Tiana Laveen

  “Yeah…yeah, I get it.”

  “Then, don’t have sex with her that night either.”

  “Awwwww man!” Avis blurted, causing Aubrey and Saint to laugh in response.

  “I know, I know.” Saint grinned as he tapped the table. “Then, on the third day…” Saint raised his finger as he made his point, a sly grin on his face. “Get another babysitter. The reason you do this on the first night as well is to allow her to enjoy the time in peace and to show her that getting a babysitter doesn’t mean you anticipate sexual activity. When you do it again, she will not associate the lack of the children’s presence as such. Now, when she comes home, tell her that you want to play a game.”

  “Oh yeah, now this is what I need to hear!” The man chuckled.

  “You hand her three pieces of paper. All of them act as coupons. You write on each one something she gets, that she can cash in, like you doing a load of laundry, giving her a couple hours to herself in the house, things like that.”

  “Mmmm hmmm, mmmm hmmmm…let me write this down,” Avis blurted. A shuffling sound soon followed.

  “Then, after you present the coupons to her, you tell her you just want to touch her…and then…” Saint’s voice drifted as if he were falling into a day dream. “You just take your hand and skim your fingertips over her cheek…lightly now, as if you are a feather caressing the moon. Tell her that if you can help her in some way, to let you know. Let that woman know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you two are partners, you’re a team! She needs to know, Avis, that she can rely on you. Be her rock. Let that woman know that you want her, and that hell, man, you miss her. Tell her…tell her you want to get back to where you once were, and make it even better. Tell her that you want to make love to her, not just to climax, but also to feel safe inside of her, and you want her to feel safe and protected, too…” Saint nodded and grinned as he brought his point home. “So, the way to make her feel safe is through expression and action. By doing this exercise, you do both. So you tell her, Avis…you tell that woman, ‘There isn’t anything I want more than for us to feel safe within one another. When I push inside of you, it is a reminder that I am always within you, for you…’cause baby, I worship you.’”

  “Dayum! That’s some pimp shit! Yeah, I gotta try this, man!”

  Saint slapped the console and burst out laughing.

  “You was talkin’ a little fast, but I think I got it all down!”

  “Okay good, but improvise it specifically for her, okay? The whole point of that three day exercise is to make your wife feel important, to feel special, like you give a damn. She’s been through a lot—not saying you haven’t, but women are wired differently than us when it pertains to intimacy. They need to be warmed up, and sex for them has more to do with feelings than their bodies, vaginas and sex drive. All of those components are important, but a woman’s brain and heart are her two biggest sex organs. For us, feelings sometimes rarely come into play as far as the urge is concerned. It’s about us cumming, about the ejaculation. Make it bigger than that, man… Let her know you just want her back, you want your wife back…”

  “Avis, thank you for calling. We have to move on to other callers now.” Aubrey disconnected his line, an all knowing, slightly arrogant smirk on her face, as if she’d taught the man everything he knew. “Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to take a quick commercial break and then we will be right back with the spectacular Dr. Saint Aknaten, renowned sex therapist.” Soft music began to play as the outro commenced before a litany of commercials about contact lenses and debt consolidation. She sighed as if coming home from work after a long day, and turned towards him, shaking her head in awe.

  “You handled that very well!” she exclaimed. “You know what impresses me about you?”

  “What?” Saint asked dryly, not caring to hear the answer.

  “Your ability to connect with people. I’ve seen tapes of you, Saint. I’ve seen the way you invigorate a crowd, make them fall down to their damn knees at your command…” She eyed him closer. “It’s mesmerizing.”

  “I don’t believe that people fall at my—”

  “Oh yes, they do.” She placed her finger upon his lips, as if to silence him. Saint’s eyes widened in astonishment.

  This woman has lost her damn mind!

  Gripping her hand, he firmly folded her fingers into her palm. He kept them in a tight clasp. Her eyes widened in surprise, her lips parted, her expression wrought with pain as a slight moan escaped her lips.

  “Ms. Jericho, there seems to be some misunderstanding.” He kept his tone even, but his grip on her hands tightened, eliciting another whimper. “I believe you know about my past. I’ve been candid about it, but you see, I’m a married man. I do not cheat on my wife. I would not want anyone to touch her in the manner that you’ve been touching me. Now, this is your third offense. So I am not asking you to stop, I’m telling you. If it happens again,”—he cocked his head to the side and glared at her—“I will get up and leave the show and as soon as my ass gets in the house, I will make certain that the listening audience understands why I left. As it stands, we can simply chalk this up to you being a horny woman who felt my previous exploits would entitle you to sample my wares. Well, I have nothing for sale, rent or on layaway, Ms. Jericho. I’m bought and paid for. I belong to my wife. Xenia has the receipt and proof of purchase in the form of a wedding band on her finger, my last name and the family and life we’ve created and forged together. No need for you to window shop, I’m not even remotely close to being on the damn market… Do I make myself mothafuckin’ clear?” he hissed.

  She glared back at him, her face morphing from pain to anger. “Saint, let me ask you something.” She attempted to snatch her hand away, but there was no way to escape. He wouldn’t release her until she fulfilled her obligation to steer clear.

  “Yes, and I’m going to let your hand go, trusting it won’t be used to do what you’ve been just doing. Now answer me…”

  “It won’t, I mean…” She shook her head. “It won’t happen again.”

  “Very well!” He threw her hand down as if it were a soiled tissue.

  She ran reddened fingers over the others, soothing the soreness.

  “I apologize if I hurt your hand, Ms. Jericho. That was not my intention. I wasn’t aware I was gripping you that hard. However, you crossed the line and my anger got the best of me. Now, what was your question?”

  She took a deep breath and faced him head on, still rubbing her fingers but seeming oblivious to any possible discomfort as her face cracked into a smile. “Why do you, why did you only date black women?” She shot her brow up, as if convinced the question she asked were a provocative one.

  Saint smirked hard, rolled back in his chair, and stared at her a long while, shaking his head.

  “I’m serious.” She grinned.

  “Have you not read anything I’ve written? I’ve explained all of that. But, to give you the very short answer, it’s a personal preference … a preference I’ve had most of my life.”

  “Have you ever had sex with a white woman?”

  Saint suppressed a laugh and crossed his legs, ankle over knee, forming the letter ‘four’. Running his fingers along his chin, he kept his intent gaze on her. “Of course I have, many…”

  “Hmmmm…” She turned away from him, hiding her face, as if suddenly bashful.

  “Ohhhh, I see what this is about.” He leaned forward, his gaze unflinching upon her. “You thought I’d never fucked a white woman before, and that you’d be the first, right? Haha! That’s funny! Fuckin’ hilarious.” He pointed at her like she was some joke, and to him, she was. The woman finally turned back to him, a broad grin on her face.

  She shrugged. “I suppose I did.”

  “I know you’ve read many things I’ve written, Ms. Jericho. You’re a scholar, a sex therapist. That’s what we do…we read, learn and share…and draw conclusions. Now, me being the type of man that I am, there is no way I was wi
lling to get out of this lifetime without having sex with every nationality of woman I could get my hands on. That was the old me. I don’t believe there is a race of woman alive that I haven’t sexually poked and prodded. I’ve had a mothafuckin’ buffet!” He threw his hands up in a dramatic gesture, causing her to chuckle. “That’s how I knew who my favorites were, kind of like Forrest Gump, right? Like a box of chocolates… Some people like the chocolate covered cherries. Some like the strawberry creams. Others like the white chocolate… Me?” He grinned naughtily. “I gravitated towards double fudge, caramel, milk and dark chocolate, baby…through and mothafuckin’ through! I’m not a big morning cup of Joe type of person, but I do have it on occasion, and when I do, I like my women like I like my coffee—strong, hot and black from the top of their kinky coif to their goddamn feet!”

  “Mmmm.”

  He could see in her eyes she was a bit uncomfortable with his candid revelations, but what the fuck did she expect?! She’d invited the notorious Saint Aknaten to her show, a well-known swirl advocate who had an obsession with Black Goddesses, and he offered no apologies, no fucks given. He’d written a bestselling book entitled, “Black Pussy Vortex” for God’s sake!

  “Well, I mean, you’re a very attractive man, we share the same field, yes… I saw you as a challenge. I’ll admit that.” She reached for an ink pen, only to twirl the thing around and around in her hand.

  “And you didn’t respect me, my wife or my marriage?” He drew serious once again. “It became all about if you could cause me to sleep with you, to see if I would screw a white woman, or any woman for that matter. Been there, done that…had more pussy than a tom cat with one thousand in-heat meowing females moving their fucking tail over for him to mount and mate! There is nothing you can offer that I haven’t seen, felt, screwed, sucked, licked, dicked, flicked, tossed, flossed, stuck or fucked! Not a goddamn thing.”

  “Saint, we are sexual creatures, you said it yourself. Marriage is a man-made construct and it is unnatural.” The little instigator was persistent for sure, but at this point, it wasn’t about seduction anymore. This was merely conversation.

  “Well, I could see how someone could believe that, however, I do acknowledge we are supposed to practice serial monogamy.”

  The woman burst out laughing. “Serial monogamy? What do you mean?”

  “Yes…we keep meeting people until we find someone we gel with, preferably, our soulmate. We keep growing, meeting and greeting until we get it right.”

  “Pshh! You must be kidding me?” She rolled her eyes dramatically. “You couldn’t possibly believe in soulmates? I thought that was just for your books, you know, because it sounds good.”

  “Yes, and it appears, Ms. Jericho, that I’m just some big ass joke to you, right?” He grinned, though his temperature rose just a tad. “That my life, my philosophies, my beliefs, my sexual and relationship preferences, all of that, is for attention and sales, right?” He bit into his lip and smirked as he shook his head. “No, I’m very serious about it. I believe every damn word I write and say.”

  She lowered her gaze to his necklace, a silver ankh that glimmered under the recessed lights, then lifted her eyes back to his face. “What would happen, Saint, if by some unfortunate circumstances, you and your soulmate were no longer together?” She clasped her hands together and lifted her chin a little. “Do you plan to make me believe a man such as yourself, virile, well-built, sexy, sensual, strong, charming and extremely bright would never have sex again?”

  Saint was silent for a short spell as he deliberated over her words. Unfortunately, he’d faced losing Xenia twice, a circumstance he surely could not survive a third time. He pushed past the gritty, raw emotions, and addressed the question.

  “If my wife and I were no longer together, either due to her death or the end of our marriage, yes, I would have sex again.”

  “Ah ha!” She cackled. “I knew it!”

  “Wait.” He pointed a finger in the air, “Let me finish. Me having sex doesn’t mean that I didn’t have a soulmate, Ms. Jericho. Now that I take the spiritual connection of sex and sexuality a lot more seriously than in my day of bedding random women, I still would need to care for that woman, love that woman, and want to connect with her on all levels. I’m not sure if I’d ever make love again, however…matter of fact, I know it would be highly unlikely. I could engage in sex with a feeling of love, but making love is reserved to a very special woman. I’ve dated enough and fucked around enough to know there is no one else like my wife in the entire world. As hokey as that may sound, I truly believe that. She may not be a good match for another man, nor I for another woman, but we are perfect for one another. Now, if my creator showed mercy on me and brought another woman into my life after my world with my Queen ended, I’d be grateful, but no one can ever sit on her seat, replace her throne, have my heart quite the way she has it. I’m certain there are wonderful women whom I’d be attracted to and wish to engage in sexual activity with. I have eyes damn it, I can see.” He chuckled lightly.

  “I have strong sexual desires and needs; those would not subside simply because my original mate, the woman created specifically for me, was gone. But making love?” He shook his head. “Nah, can’t see that happening. Thus, she’d never get all of me the same way my wife had. It would be unfortunate for whoever that woman might be, but at least I’d give her the best I could at that given time. I’d love her, care for her, be her man, be devoted and loyal, but it would certainly be different. My heart is tied into another woman. When she breathes, I breathe.”

  “I must admit,” Aubrey said, nodding slowly. “You speak beautifully about this woman.”

  “Because she is beautiful, in every sense of the word, and she deserves the best from me. My damn air is coming from that woman’s lungs so if she were to be removed from me permanently, for whatever reason, certain aspects of me would no longer exist. Making love is a completely different experience than fucking and having sex. It’s a soul connection and you can’t do that shit with just anyone. And you and I both know there is a difference. You’re smarter than that; don’t try to fuck with me.” He smirked as he ran his finger along the edge of the table.

  “Well, that is somewhat debatable.”

  “What? About you being smart?” He teased, causing her to laugh lightly.

  “I’d never disrespect her by allowing someone to touch me in a way that is sexual in nature. You just found that out the hard way. So, what you see as a game, some sort of challenge, when you really don’t care about me, is a reckless act. My life, my marriage, my beliefs are not a show or some plaything for you to fiddle with, Dr. Jericho. Now, hopefully you’ve gotten your fill. The world is full of bullshit, and here you are, trying to sell me something that is readily available…more crap I don’t need. I’m here to take calls, to help people, not be toyed with.”

  They sat in silence for a short while.

  “Look, our time is almost up before we take the next call,” She looked at the fast running numbers on the timetable. “I have one last question.”

  “Shoot.”

  “May I have you back again as a guest? The way you handled that first question really blew me away. Plus, I think the audience would enjoy it. We have so many calls coming in, I doubt an hour would be nearly enough…I’d also like a ‘do-over’.” She smiled sheepishly.

  “First, I’d need a sincere apology from you before committing to that.”

  “Of course…I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable by flirting with you.”

  “Flirting is not the problem. Flirting is innately human. We will always find other human beings attractive, despite our marital status. We may say things a certain way, or do a double take, sometimes even flirt with others unintentionally. We are sexual beings. It happens. Regardless, it is the way in which you did it and your motivation behind it that I find most disturbing.”

  “Yes, understood.”

  He could see the high-powered controlling w
oman didn’t like being tossed around, told what to do and how to do it. But no, she was not going to come before him and ask for a favor, as well as leniency, without owning up to the wrong she’d committed. He simply wouldn’t have it though he could tell by her body language she regretted her earlier actions.

  “I also apologize for not taking you stances regarding interracial relationships seriously. I honestly thought it was some sort of gimmick, a ploy. I see now that I was incorrect,” she said in a slightly bitter tone, then turned back to the calls. “Well, enough of that, let’s get back to work…” She sighed and opened the lines. “Welcome back, listening audience. We have the wonderful Dr. Saint Aknaten here with us this evening to answer all of your intimacy questions. Terri from Memphis, you’re on the line.”

  “Hi everyone, hi Saint!” A slight giggle could be heard after the caller’s greeting.

  “Hello, Terri. How are you tonight?” Saint cleared his throat, then took a sip from a bottle of water that had been offered to him before the show.

  “I’m doing good; it is so nice to talk to you. I enjoy your books!”

  “Thank you very much. How can I help you today, Terri?”

  “Well, I understand the format of the show, I listen all the time, Aubrey.” The woman declared, seemingly quite happy with herself.

  “Thank you, Terri.” Aubrey grinned. “So, you know that you ask your question first, and then go into detail, so go right ahead.”

  “Okay…I’m a little nervous.”

  “It’s okay, I don’t bite, not too hard anyway.” Saint smirked, casting a teasing look at Aubrey who smiled and shook her head.