“…I see. Well, Yuigahama-san, I’ll leave the rest to you.”
Yukinoshita said that, then briskly turned on her heel and disappeared back into the school building. Totsuka seemed anxious as he watched her go.
“Did I… say something to… make her angry…?”
“Nah, she’s just always like that… Actually, she didn’t call you stupid or untalented, so she might be in a pretty good mood.”
“Doesn't she only say that to Hikki?”
Nah, Yuigahama, she says those things to you pretty often… You just don’t notice.
“Maybe she just… got frustrated with me…? I haven’t gotten any better, and I can only do five pushups…”
Totsuka’s shoulders drooped as he looked down at the floor. Hm, well, I guess that wasn’t too out of character for Yukinoshita…
However…
“I don’t think that’s the case. Yukinon won't ever abandon people who come to her for help.”
Yuigahama said that as she twirled a ball round and round in her hand.
“Well, that’s true… I mean, she even tried to help Yuigahama learn to cook. There's still some hope for you, so I doubt Yukinoshita's given up.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
Yuigahama hurled her ball at my head. The ball scored a clean hit and made clonk! sort of sound. What the hell, her control was seriously good… I wouldn’t be surprised if she was picked in the next draft.
I picked up the ball that was now rolling on the floor and tossed it lightly back to Yuigahama.
“She’ll probably come back eventually, so… Shall we keep going?”
“…Okay!”
Totsuka answered energetically and went back to practicing.
For a while after that, there was not another complaint uttered, nor were there any more tears.
Totsuka was just trying his best.
“Ugh, I’m so tired~~… Hikki, switch with me.”
In fact, Yuigahama was the first one to complain…
Well, to be honest, I wasn't exactly doing much anyway.
The only other option at the moment was to watch the ants again.
…But Zaimokuza had murdered those ants, so I was completely bored now. I really had nothing to do.
“All right. We can switch.”
“Yay~~. Oh, by the way, this gets boring by the sixth throw, so be careful.”
The sixth?! That was way too fast. Was her endurance really that terrible?
As I went over to take the balls from Yuigahama, I saw her previously smiling expression turn a bit hazy and gloomy.
“Ah, someone’s playing tennis! Tennis!”
I turned around at the sound of those merry-sounding voices, and saw a large group with Hayama and Miura at the center. They were walking towards us, and as they passed by Zaimokuza, they seemed to notice me and Yuigahama.
“Ah… It’s Yui…”
A girl next to Miura spoke in a soft voice.
Miura took a single glance at me and Yuigahama, then ignored us and turned towards Totsuka. (It seemed that she hadn’t ever looked at Zaimokuza.)
“Hey, Totsuka. Can we play around here too?”
“Miura-san, I’m not really… playing around… I’m practicing…”
“Huh? What? I couldn’t hear you.”
Totsuka had spoken very softly, so Miura hadn’t seemed to hear him. He fell silent at her response, but… I mean, if someone asked me a question that way, then I would definitely also be unable to talk. She was seriously scary.
Totsuka gathered up what little courage he could find and tried again.
“I-I’m practicing…”
But Her Highness didn’t seem to give a damn.
“Hmmm, but you know, there are people here who aren’t on the tennis team, so… It’s not like the boy’s tennis team has the courts reserved, right?”
“T-that’s true… but…”
“Well, then isn’t it fine if we use them too? Why wouldn’t it be?”
“…But…”
After he said that, Totsuka seemed troubled and looked towards me… Wait, me?
Well, I guess there was no else he could turn to. Yukinoshita had gone off somewhere, Yuigahama was looking away with an uncomfortable expression on her face, and nobody cared about Zaimokuza… So I guess there was only me.
“Ah, sorry, but Totsuka asked to use this court, so we can’t let other people use it.”
“Huh? But, like I said, you’re not on the tennis team and you’re using it.”
“Ah, umm, that’s just because we’re helping Totsuka practice, so it’s, like, outsourcing, or something.”
“Huh? What are you babbling about? That’s a bit gross.”
Uwah, this girl obviously had no intention of listening to us at all… That's why I hated that kind of stupid bitch. What kind of primate didn't understand language? Even dogs understand words, for God’s sake.
“Okay, okay, let’s not get into a fight.”
Hayama cut in and tried to mediate.
“Come on, it’s more fun if everyone plays. Can’t we just do it that way?”
Hayama’s words got on my nerves. Miura had cocked the rifle, but he had pulled the trigger.
Well, I would just have to shoot back.[1]
“What the hell do you mean by ‘everyone’…? Is it the same ‘everyone’ you use to beg your parents for something? Like, when you go ‘But everyone else has one!’ or something…? Who the hell is that ‘everyone’…? I don’t have any friends, so I’ve never been able to use that line…”
It’s the double meaning between “shoot” and “gloom”! A miraculous combination!
Even Hayama had to be moved by that.
“Ah, umm… I didn’t mean anything by that. Umm… I’m sorry, I guess? If you have something on your mind, then you can always come to me for advice.”
He began to comfort me with incredible speed.
Hayama was a good person… I almost felt myself start to tear up and thank him.
But…
If I could be saved by that kind of cheap sympathy, then I wouldn't need saving to begin with. If my problems just required a few kind words, then I wouldn’t really have problems.
“…Hayama, your kindness makes me happy. I know all too well now that you have a good personality. And you’re also the ace of the soccer team. And you’re also pretty good looking, aren’t you? I’m sure you can get pretty popular with the ladies!”
“W-what’s this all of a sudden…?”
Hayama was clearly shaken by my sudden flattery. Good, good, feel free to get full of yourself.
Hayama, I’ll bet you don’t know…
Why do you think people compliment other people? It’s because the bigger you are, the harder you fall!
It's called “death by praise.”
“You have so much, you are so brilliant, and yet you want to steal these tennis courts away from us who have nothing? Do you feel no shame?”
“Precisely! Mister Hayama! What you’re doing is the lowest of the low! It’s an invasion! Vengeance shall be mine!”[2]
At some point, Zaimokuza had come over and started spitting out flamboyant things.
“W-when the two of them stand together, then the situation just gets twice as pathetic and sad…”
Yuigahama was standing speechless next to us, and Hayama scratched his head. He let out a short sigh.
“Hm, well, hmm…”
Despite myself, a wicked grin appeared on my face. Exactly… Hayama wasn’t the kind of person who liked making trouble anywhere. And right now, that “anywhere” precisely consisted of him, Zaimokuza, and myself. If he was shot down by the majority, then Hayama would have no choice but to give this place up.
“Hey, come on, Hayato~~…”
A lazy voice slipped in from the side.
“What are you just standing there for? I want to play tennis.”
And the idiot with the curls had arrived. Was there something w
rong with her brain cells? Keep up with the conversation, dammit… You’re the type of person who gets the brake and the gas pedal mixed up, aren’t you?
Indeed, Miura had pushed the gas pedal instead of the brakes.
And that gave Hayama a bit more time to think. That little pause was enough to turn the ignition key in his brain.
“Hm, all right, then let’s do this: all the people not on the team will play a match, and the ones who win will be able to use the courts during lunch break from now on. Naturally, the winners will also help Totsuka practice. It’s always better to practice with better players, right? That would be more fun for everyone.”
…What the hell was up with that completely flawless logic? Was he a genius?
“Tennis match? …Hm, that sounds really fun.”
Miura gave the kind of fierce smile that only the Queen of Fire could.
And all the hangers-on also seemed to be greatly roused by that suggestion of Hayama’s.
And so, swept away by the heat of impending battle, bowing to chaos and frenzy, we were thrust into phase three of our training.
…that might have sounded a bit too cool. In other words, we were betting the tennis courts on a match.
How the hell had it come to this…?
7-2
My earlier choice of words, with all that talk about “chaos” and “frenzy,” was me trying to be funny. In the end, though, I was right.
Quite a few people had begun to crowd around the tennis courts, which were located in one corner of the schoolyard.
If I were to count, I would say that we had two hundred people here, easy. That of course inlcuded Hayama's group, but there were plenty of other people who had come after hearing about the event.
Most of those people were Hayama’s friends or his fans. They were mostly second-years, but there were a few first-years mixed in, and I also saw a third-year here and there.
Was this guy for real…? He was more popular than our politicians.
“HA~ YA~ TO~ GO!! HA~ YA~ TO~ GO!!”
The spectators who were cheering for Hayama started to do the wave. It was like being in the middle of an idol concert… But most people here probably weren’t huge Hayama fans, they were just here to watch a strange event. …right? I’d really like to believe that…
In any case, looking at the crowd around me sent chills down my spine. It was like a religious cult… The church of youth is a scary thing indeed.
And Hayama Hayato emerged from that chaotic melting pot, confidently striding out to the center of the court. Despite the huge audience, he seemed perfectly at ease. He was probably used to that much attention. In addition to his usual followers, some girls and boys from other classes had joined him.
We'd been swallowed whole, more or less. Our glances darted back and forth and back and forth. I closed my eyes; I could feel myself growing dizzy from the ear-shattering commotion.
Hayama was already gripping his racquet and was standing on the court. He stared at us with interest, wanting to know which one of us would step up first.
(Hayama was already standing on the court, racquet in hand. He stared at us, curious, wanting to know which one of us would step up first.)
“Hey… Hikki, what should we do?”
“What should we do, huh…”
Yuigahama seemed uneasy. I took a glance at Totsuka; he looked like a frightened bunny dropped in an unfamiliar forest.
Even when he talked to me, he did so really timidly and with his feet turned inwards. Geez, that was insanely cute…
I wasn’t the only one who thought so. As Totsuka walked, looking so vulnerable, I heard girls all around us give high-pitched squeals of “Prince~~!!” or “Saichaaan~~!!”
But every time Totsuka heard one of those cries, he just trembled. Seeing that just made Totsuka’s fans writhe in pleasure and cheer even more. I couldn’t help but writhe in pleasure a bit myself.
“So I guess Totsuka can’t participate…”
Hayama had said that this match would be between people who weren’t on the team… In other words, this was a match to win the courts and Totsuka himself.
“…Zaimokuza, can you play tennis?”
“Leave it to me. I’ve read through all the volumes and I even went to see the musical, so I’m quite the expert in el tenis.”
“I was an idiot to ask you… And if you’re going to say tennis in Spanish, then say musical in Spanish too.”[1]
“Well then, in that case it’s up to you… Wait, how do you say ‘musical’ in Spanish?”
“Yeah, I guess I have to…”
“Do you think you have a good shot at victory? … And, seriously, how do you say ‘musical’ in Spanish?!”
“No shot at all… Also, shut up. If you can’t figure it out, then change your damn character instead. You’ve already broken character completely anyways.”
“I-I see… Hachiman, you’re pretty smart, aren’t you?”
Zaimokuza seemed seriously impressed. It seemed that I'd solved his problem, but I couldn't solve any of my own… Ugh. What should I do?
I buried my head in my crossed arms. As I did, I heard a rude, irritated voice.
“Hey, can’t you hurry it up?”
God, that bitch was annoying… I lifted my head and saw Miura holding a racquet and checking it over. Hayama also seemed to think that was unusual.
“Huh? Yumiko’s gonna play too?”
“What? Yeah, obviously… I’m the one who wanted to play tennis, remember?”
“I know, but… The other team is going to probably send out a guy. You know, that, umm… Hikitani-kun guy? Him. If you had to play him, it wouldn’t be too fair.”
Who the hell is Hikitani-kun? Hikitani-kun wasn’t playing. Hikigaya-kun was playing… probably playing.
Miura listened to Hayama's warning and fell into thought, playing with her long curly strands of hair.
“Oh, then let’s do mixed doubles! Geez, I’m pretty smart, aren’t I? But is there seriously a girl who wants to play with Hikitani-kun? Haha, that’s hilarious!”
Miura started to let out a high-pitched, vulgar laugh, and the audience began to laugh as well. I couldn’t help but laugh myself.
Ku ku ku, ku ku ku… Ugh, it hurt to admit it, but that was really effective. I could feel myself plunging into darkness.
“Hachiman, this isn’t good… You have no female friends at all, and no girl will help out a plain-looking loner bastard like you, even if you ask. What are you going to do?”
Shut up, Zaimokuza… And he was completely right, so I couldn’t even argue with him.
We were past the point where I could just go “ahahah sorry~~. Let’s just forget all about this wink <3.” I looked to Zaimokuza for help, but he just awkwardly looked away and started whistling badly.
I let out a sigh. That seemed to be a trigger; Yuigahama and Totsuka also sighed.
“……”
“Hikigaya-kun, sorry… If I were a girl, then I would be happy to play with you, but…”
That's definitely true. Why wasn’t Totsuka a girl? He was so cute…
“…Don’t worry about it.”
I didn’t let my own anxiety show; I just patted Totsuka on the head.
“And… You don’t have to worry about this either. If you have somewhere you belong, then you should protect that place.”
Yuigahama’s shoulders shook. She bit her lip and gave me an apologetic look.
Yuigahama had her own position in the class. Unlike me, she was actually quite good when it came to human relationships, so she still really wanted to get along with Miura and the others.
I was a loner, but that didn’t mean I was envious of the people who were doing well for themselves. It’s not like I was wishing misfortune onto them… No, really. I’m not lying.
It’s not like we were some group of friends or something; I wouldn’t call any of them my friends. We were just a mish-mash of random people who gathered (or perhaps were gathered) for
some random reason.
I just had something to prove. Loners weren’t meant to be pitied--they were just as good as anybody else. I wanted to show them that.
I was well-aware that was a self-absorbed train of thought, but I was just a completely self-absorbed guy when I was alone. Hell, when I was alone I could teleport and breathe fire.
Yahari Ore no Seishun Rabu Kome wa Machigatteiru - Volume 01 Page 19