Yahari Ore no Seishun Rabu Kome wa Machigatteiru - Volume 01

by Wataru Watari

  My own high school life has not been the Garden of Eden I described before. It is an ashen, gloomy, monochrome world. On that first school day, when I had that traffic accident, my school life became gloomy indeed. After that, I would just go between my house and school, and during holidays I would just go to the library. I really have passed my days living a life that is very far from the typical high school dream life. In my world, romantic comedies don’t exist at all.

  However, I don’t have an ounce of regret. In fact, you could even say I am quite proud of myself.

  Going to the library and finishing those super long fantasy novels… Turning on the radio at night and becoming entranced by a radio personality’s way of telling a story… Finding heartwarming passages in a vast electronic sea dominated by text… All of these things were made possible precisely because I have lived that kind of life.

  I am grateful for, I am moved by, each and every one of those discoveries and chance meetings. There were tears too, but they were not tears of grief.

  I will never reject the time I have spent, that one year of high school “youth” that I have lived. No, I will accept it with all my heart. And that conviction will definitely not change, today or tomorrow.

  However, I want to make this clear: even so, I will not reject the way of life of everyone else. I will not reject the way of the people who celebrate youth.

  For those people who are in the prime of their youth, even failures can be changed into wonderful memories. Even quarrels, strife, and troubles can become just another moment of their youth.

  The world changes when viewed through the youth filter that these people possess.

  In that case, perhaps my own youth can be tinged with the color of romantic comedy. Perhaps it isn’t all wrong.

  And perhaps, someday, I will also see brightness in the place where I am, even if I see that brightness through the glassy eyes of a dead fish. I can feel, growing inside of me, something that allows me to at least hope that something like that will happen.

  Indeed, there was one thing I have learned in the days I have spent with the service club.

  My conclusion is this:

  -

  With that, I stopped the pen in my hand.

  I gave a nice, long stretch. I was the only person left here, in this classroom, after school.

  It’s not like I was being bullied or anything… I was just rewriting that essay, the one that Hiratsuka-sensei had assigned us. I’m being honest here, okay? I’m really not being bullied, okay?

  My rewrite was going very smoothly, but I got a bit stuck on the conclusion, so it ended up getting pretty late in the day.

  Maybe I should continue this in the clubroom…

  As I thought that, I quickly tossed my grid paper[1] and writing tools into my bag and left that empty classroom behind.

  There was no one in the hallway leading down to the special building, though I could hear the energetic shouts of the sports teams practicing outside.

  Yukinoshita was probably in the clubroom reading again… In that case, I could just continue writing there without being bothered by anyone.

  At any rate, we did absolutely nothing in that club.

  Very, very occasionally, there was some strange person who came to us, but that was rare; most people would rather go to someone familiar, someone who they trusted, or they'd just keep their troubles to themselves and deal with it that way.

  That was probably the right answer. That what people should, in general, aspire towards. However, occasionally there are people who can't do that, people like me, or Yukinoshita, or Yuigahama, or Zaimokuza.

  For most people, things like friendship or love or dreams are wonderful. Even moments when you are troubled or don’t know what to do can be completely turned around and seen in positive lights.

  Indeed, that is what we call “youth.”

  However, there are also the curmudgeons who look at those people and conclude that they are intoxicated with the idea of “youth” and just do whatever they want. As my sister would say, “‘Youth’? What’s that? Some kind of fruit?” No, that would be “yuzu.” You watch way too much Shouten, don’t you?[2]

  8-2

  When I opened the clubroom door, I saw Yukinoshita reading a book in her usual place.

  She heard the sound of the door creaking and lifted her head.

  “Oh my… I thought you weren’t coming today.”

  She placed a bookmark in her book. Compared to my first days here, when she would just completely ignore me and keep reading, we'd made quite a bit of progress.

  “Oh, yeah… I also thought that I'd be taking today off, but there’s still something I want to do.”

  I pulled out the chair diagonally across from Yukinoshita and took my seat. That was our usual positioning. I took out the grid paper from my bag and laid it out. Yukinoshita, who was watching me closely, did not look pleased.

  “…just what do you think this classroom is here for?”

  “You’re just reading a book, though…”

  Yukinoshita looked away, seeming a bit embarrassed. It seemed that nobody had come to the club for help today either. The only sound in that quiet classroom was the tick-tock of the clock. When I thought about it, I realized that it'd been a while since it was so quiet… Probably because of a certain noisy existence.

  “What’s Yuigahama doing?”

  “It seems she’s gone off with Miura-san and the others today.”

  “I see……”

  That was a surprise… or maybe it wasn’t. They were friends, and ever since that tennis match, I'd gotten the feeling that Miura had started to act more gently. That might've been because Yuigahama was finally able to speak her mind clearly.

  “I’d ask you the same question, Hikigaya-kun. You aren’t with your partner today?”

  “Totsuka is at practice. It might be because of that special training, but he’s been really fired up about practice lately…”

  Which meant I didn’t hang out with him much. That fact made me very sad.

  “Not Totsuka-kun, the other one.”

  “……who?”

  “Who, you say… You know, the one who’s always lurking in your shadow.”

  “Hey, stop saying scary things… Don’t tell me you can see ghosts or something?”

  “…sigh, don’t be ridiculous… There is no such thing as ghosts.”

  Yukinoshita sighed and gave me a look that said “Maybe I’ll turn you into a ghost”… Ah, it’s been a while since I’ve talked like this with Yukinoshita.

  “I mean that person. Za… Zai… Zaitsu-kun? Something like that…”

  “Ahh, Zaimokuza? He’s not my partner though.”

  Hell, I don’t know if I’d even call him a friend.

  “He told me ‘I’m in a big time crunch right now… Sorry, but I have to prioritize my deadlines for today’ and he went home first.”

  “He sure talks like a hit novelist…”

  Yukinoshita mumbled with a clearly disgusted expression on her face.

  Come on, come on, at least show some sympathy for me--I'm the one who has to read his stuff. He doesn’t even write it out, he just brings me the drawings and plot, you know? “Hey, Hachiman! I thought of a pretty cool new idea! The heroine is made of rubber and the sub-heroine has the power to cancel out the heroine’s power! This is gonna be a big hit!” You idiot. That’s not a cool idea, that’s crap. Isn’t that a complete ripoff?

  But, well, in the end, that lukewarm community only lasted a little while, and we eventually all migrated back to where we belonged. So you could say that group was a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence.

  But if you asked me if this was where Yukinoshita and I belonged, then I guess I would probably say that it wasn’t really.

  Our intermittent conversation wandered aimlessly in the usual (slightly awkward) atmosphere.

  “I’m coming in.”

  The door suddenly flew open.

  “……sigh.”


  Yukinoshita lightly placed one hand on her forehead and sighed. She seemed resigned. I see… When you were in such a quiet space and the door suddenly opened like that, then you did start wanting to hurl insults around…

  “Hiratsuka-sensei… Please knock when you want to come in.”

  “Hm? Isn’t that usually Yukinoshita's line?”

  Hiratsuka-sensei seemed a bit puzzled, but she pulled out a nearby chair and sat herself down.

  “Do you want something?”

  As Yukinoshita asked her question, Hiratsuka-sensei’s eyes started sparkling in their usual boyish way.

  “I wanted to make a mid-game announcement!”

  “Ahh, that…”

  I'd completely forgotten… Actually, I didn’t remember ever settling anything, so it’s only natural that I forgot.

  “The battle results currently stand at two victories each, so it's a tie. Yes, close battles are the soul of a battle manga… Personally, though, I would've liked to see Yukinoshita awaken after getting over the death of Hikigaya…”

  “I died? How did it get to that point…? Umm, and, two victories each? I don’t remember settling anything, and we’ve only had three people come to us for help.”

  Did she just not know how to count?

  “By my count, there’ve been four people. You heard me, right? I’ll decide everything by my own judgment.”

  “When you play by such arbitrary rules, it’s actually a bit refreshing…”

  Is she supposed to be Gian or something?[1]

  “Hiratsuka-sensei… Would you please explain the reasoning behind your count? As that one over there was shouting, we haven’t actually settled any of the problems that people brought to us.”

  “Hm…”

  Hiratsuka-sensei fell into silence and thought for a bit.

  “Well, let’s see… If you take the kanji for ‘problems’[2], the radical for ‘heart’ is on the left and the kanji for wicked is next to it. And the kanji for wicked has a lid on it.”[3]

  “Hello middle schooler, shouldn’t you be getting back to class?”[4]

  “What I mean is that your true troubles lie to the side of your heart, and so the things people come to you with when they seek advice may not be their true troubles.”

  “What was the point of all that explanation before you made that point?”

  “It’s not like you were being that clever there.”

  Yukinoshita and I both mercilessly cut her down, and Hiratsuka-sensei seemed a bit sad.

  “I see… I tried hard to think that up too…”

  Well, in other words, the winner and loser of this game would be just as arbitrary. Hiratsuka-sensei looked back and forth between me and Yukinoshita and seemed to sulk a bit.

  “Ugh… You two only work together to attack someone else… It’s like your old friends or something.”

  “What in the world… I don’t recall ever becoming friends with that man.”

  Yukinoshita shrugged her shoulders. I was sure she was giving me a sideways glare, but then I saw that she wasn’t even looking at me.

  “Hikigaya, don’t be so down… They say that there are bugs that even like to eat weeds. It’s all a matter of taste.”

  Sensei tried to comfort me. I wasn't feeling down at all, dammit… And why did that kindness just feel painful…?

  “Indeed…”

  To my surprise, Yukinoshita also seemed to join in… Wait, she was the one who depressed me in the first place.

  However, Yukinoshita only told the truth; she wouldn’t lie about her own feelings, so she probably truly believed Hiratsuka-sensei’s words. She gave me a kind smile.

  “I’m sure there is some insect somewhere who will, one day, come to like Hikigaya-kun.”

  “At least pick a cuter animal, dammit!”

  It was pretty humble, even for me, not to ask her to pick a human instead… But that arrogant Yukinoshita clenched her fist, looking pretty proud of herself.

  Perhaps she was really that happy with what she had said, but her eyes were sparkling; she really looked like she was enjoying herself.

  I, on the other hand, didn’t find it fun at all. I mean, weren't talks with girls supposed to be more hah-hah-he-he-lovey-dovey cutesy? Wasn’t this completely weird?

  I thought I would write down what I was feeling at that moment, so I gripped my pen. Yukinoshita looked over at what I was doing.

  “Actually, what have you been writing all this time?”

  “Shut up, it’s nothing.”

  And then, I scribbled down the final sentence in my assignment:

  -

  As expected, my youth romantic comedy is screwed up.

  Afterword

  It’s been a while. This is Watari Wataru. Also, nice to meet you. This is Watari Wataru.

  This may seem sudden, but the “youth” that is commonly referred to by the world at large is a mistaken notion. It’s a downright lie. Going on a date at Lalaport[1] in your uniforms with a cute girl, getting invited by a friend to another school to eat lunch with a girl… those things just don’t exist. Those things were works of complete fiction.

  Haven’t you ever read a youth romantic comedy and seen the following disclaimer at the end?

  *This work is a work of fiction, and has no relation with real matters, people, or organizations.

  In other words, that youth romantic comedy was filled with lies. And everyone is getting tricked.

  Real youth was getting off school with just a guy friend, parking yourself at a Saizeriya[2] and squatting there until night while surviving on only drinks and focaccia.

  And all you do with him is say bad things about your classmates and complain about school. That was the true picture of youth. I’m speaking from experience here, so I’m pretty sure about it.

  But, at the same time, I don’t really hate that kind of youth.

  Getting excited about mixing together melon soda and orange juice and calling it “melange”… going on a field trip and playing mahjong with three other guys in the midst of that savage environment… falling into silence after seeing that girl I liked flirting with her boyfriend… now that I think back on those times, I could call each and every one of those fond memories.

  Sorry, that was a lie. I hated that kind of youth. I wanted to go on a date with a girl in my uniform too. Hell, I still want to.

  Those are the things I was feeling as I wrote this book. I hope you enjoyed it.

  Last, I need to give out thanks to a few people.

  First, my manager Hoshino-sama. I could write an entire book about how he helped out, so I’ll just keep it short and said that he looked after me in everything I did, from the smallest to the largest of tasks. Thank you very much.

  Then, Ponkan(8)-sama. Every time I was feeling discouraged, your incredibly cute illustrations gave me strength. I’m really, sincerely happy I asked you to help me out. Thank you very much.

  Even though we didn’t really know each other, I’d like to thank Hirasaka Yomi-sama for his comment that I put on this book’s obi.[3] When I was close to breaking from unease and worry, his words gave me courage. Thank you very much.

  I’d like to thank my friends. Every time I met you guys all you talked about was money! I was so depressed! Talk a bit more about what’s been going on in your lives, geez!

  I’d like to thank all the readers. It is precisely thanks to you all that the novelist Watari Wataru can exist. All of your words were a source of constant encouragement to me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you very much.

  And last, I’d like to thank the past me from high school. You might have been called boring and worthless that one day, but because those sour words were spat out at you this novel was born. Please be proud. Your youth might have been screwed up, but it was also definitely correct. Thank you very much.

  Now then, this story. Whether it’s continued or not depends on a few things, but I sincerely believe that we will meet again. So while I mull over the plot for nex
t time, please allow me to lay down my pen for this volume.

  A certain day in February, from a certain place in Chiba Prefecture, while feeling nostalgic about my past long ago and sipping a cup of sweet coffee,

  -Watari Wataru

  Translation Notes

  Prologue

  [1] A reference to the Japanese Internet meme - Riajuu, bakuhatsu shirou! - based on a vocaloid song sung by Hatsune Miku. It is used to refer to someone who has a good life, a boyfriend or girlfriend and are popular with his or her peers. It is typically used by otaku.