The Cowboy's Convenient Bride

by Donna Alward

  “Sit down, Tanner.”

  Her soft voice commanded him and he obeyed, not knowing what else to do. He sat at the foot of the bed, staring at her as she went to a couple of drawers, looking for a T-shirt. She took one out and then stood before him, reached for the buttons on his shirt and began undoing them, one by one.

  “Let’s get your shirt changed first. I’ll call my grandma and see what she suggests for getting the stains out.”

  Blood. It was blood. And that was only a small part of it.

  Her soft, cool fingers pushed the shirt off his shoulders and she tossed it onto the bed behind her. As gently as if she were dressing Rowan, she helped him put on the soft cotton T-shirt.

  “Can you stand up, Tanner?”

  “Huh? Oh. Yes.”

  “Do you have a pair of sweats anywhere?”

  He nodded numbly. “Shelf in the closet.”

  It was the oddest sensation, having a woman unbuckle his pants without there being any sexual overtones. She was simply gentle and efficient, helping him take them off, putting his feet through the legs of the sweats and pulling them up to rest on his hips.

  “Better?”

  He nodded, though he knew it wasn’t. He was trying so hard not to shake right now. He didn’t want to be that weak in front of her. This was all so stupid. He’d been working as an EMT for some time. He’d been on calls for vehicle accidents, heart attacks, strokes and yes, even Laura’s baby. But today...

  He shivered all over.

  She urged him back on the bed, and he let her, which surprised him. “I’m fine,” he protested. “I’m just coming down from the adrenaline. Give me a minute.”

  “Okay,” she agreed. “And I think you should come down from the adrenaline by being horizontal. You’re a lot bigger than me, Tanner.” She smiled at him. “If you tip over on me I’ll be squashed.”

  “Just for a minute, though.”

  “Fair enough. Would you like some water or something? I can’t burn that.”

  He tried to smile. “Water’s great. Thanks.”

  She disappeared for a moment and he forced himself to take deep breaths. He’d been running on autopilot for the last few hours, and then his adrenaline had spiked again when he thought something might be wrong with Laura and Rowan. Truth was, he was all over the map and he was smart enough to know his body—and his fiancée—was telling him to hold up for a bit and find his feet again.

  Finding his feet was something that Carson Baxter would never do again.

  Tanner closed his eyes, but nothing erased the image of that kid.

  Laura came back and sat on the edge of the bed, holding the glass of water. “Here,” she said quietly. “Drink slowly.”

  He took a sip, but then put the glass on the table beside the bed. “I’m okay.”

  “It must have been really horrible, huh?”

  He nodded. “Yuh. Worst I’ve been on. It’s just catching up with me, is all.”

  She waited a few seconds and then asked hesitantly, “Was anyone killed, Tanner?”

  This time he couldn’t get his voice to work. He nodded.

  “Oh,” she said, a quiet lament. “I’m sorry.”

  He might have been able to reply. Might have found his voice and said something strong and restorative, except Laura leaned forward and slid her arms around his middle and put her head against his chest. He was leaning against the headboard, and the scroll of the wood dug into the back of his head. He welcomed the sensation, let it anchor him, let the feel of her embrace anchor him, too. He put his hand along her back and felt the warmth of her skin through her thin top. And then the next thing he knew, he’d reached out and gathered her close and pulled her on to his lap, holding her tight.

  She didn’t fight. She simply let him hold her as if she knew that was exactly what he needed. And he absorbed her warmth and strength until he began to feel whole again.

  “Do you want to talk about it now?” she finally asked.

  He sighed. “No. But it’ll be on the news, in the paper. You’ll hear about it anyway.”

  “It was an accident?” she prodded gently, her hand still rubbing reassuringly on his back.

  “Yeah. Out at Baxter’s place. Do you know where that is?”

  He couldn’t tell for sure, since she was still snuggled up against him, but he thought her head movement indicated no.

  “It’s a ranch south of town. The call came in just after ten.” He took a deep breath and just said it. “A tractor rolled over and killed the driver.”

  “Oh God,” she said, squeezing him tight.

  “He was fifteen.”

  Those three words settled in the room, heavy with sorrow and the loss of all the possibilities that would have been ahead for that young life. “Oh, Tanner,” she said, and for a moment or two he just held on.

  “Sean and I...we worked on him for a long time. He wasn’t dead when we got there, but he was...” Tanner halted when his voice broke a bit. He cleared his throat. “He was hurt real bad. And his dad and a couple of the hands were standing there crying and we had to just focus and not see the kid, just the job.”

  “Which is impossible, of course.”

  He nodded. “We were almost to the hospital when we lost him. They worked on him awhile there, but the internal bleeding was too much. And now I can’t get that kid’s face out of my head.”

  She pulled back out of his arms a bit, and he drank in the sight of her face, so beautiful and alive. He’d needed her today, he realized. He’d thought about going home to the place he’d lived all his life, but instead he’d come here. To her. He wasn’t sure he was comfortable with that, but he’d think about it later. Right now he was just grateful he was where he needed to be.

  “I shouldn’t be dumping all this on you,” he said.

  “We’re friends, and I’m glad you did.” She slid her fingers down to his hands and squeezed. “I’ve been feeling like this arrangement is so one-sided. You being there to help me out of trouble, but me offering little in return. If I can help you with this, it makes me feel useful. Like... I’m giving you something back.” She sighed. “Like I actually have something to offer.”

  “You have more than you realize,” he murmured, tightening his hands on hers. “Talking has helped, actually.” He paused. “And letting me hold you. I think I needed a nice, warm human being this afternoon.”

  When her lips turned up in a sweet smile, the ugliness of the day seemed to melt away. “Maybe we should get you a dog,” she joked.

  “I said human being,” he replied, but he smiled in return, feeling some of his muscles relax.

  He hadn’t realized how tightly he’d been holding himself until he started to let go.

  Chapter Eleven

  As Tanner relaxed, he started to notice other things, too. Like how her coppery hair set off her creamy skin; her eyes were a deep shade of blue that seemed bottomless, her bottom lip was fuller than the top and she had a habit of nibbling on it when she was nervous.

  It would be the easiest thing in the world to reach for her right now. To sink his hands into that gorgeous waterfall of hair, to kiss her soft lips and pull her body close against his. Her thumb rubbed against the top of his hand, and his body responded to the simple touch, fueling a desire so profound it shocked him. He didn’t just want to have sex. He thought of how guileless she was, how unaware of her own attractiveness, and wanted to show her the way he saw her.

  Tanner wanted to make love to her. It was very different from scratching an itch or fulfilling a fantasy. He wanted to worship her body with his.

  But he wouldn’t. The unexpected emotions that prompted these thoughts were the same ones that reminded him of the fragility of their situation, of the need for care and caution. After their last kiss, he’d agree
d they wouldn’t complicate things by becoming physically involved.

  She needed to be able to trust him to keep his word.

  So he pushed his libido aside—with difficulty—and focused instead on the unique practicality of the situation.

  “Let’s change the subject to something happier,” he suggested, sliding back a little and stretching out his legs so their pose wasn’t so intimate. “Anything new with plans?”

  She took his cue, thankfully, and slid her fingers away from his. “Actually, yes. I looked into a site for the ceremony. We can have it at the gazebo on the riverbank, you know the one? Just beyond the library. I checked with the town hall and apparently we can book it for an hour that Sunday afternoon.”

  He nodded. “That sounds nice.”

  “Maddy made a point that we shouldn’t just have it in the living room. That we should do something at least modestly matrimonial.”

  His eyebrows shot up. “Maddy?”

  “She stopped by a few days ago. After you’d talked to her and Cole.”

  Ah yes. The conversation that had been strained at best, though they’d put on a good face the moment he’d brought up that he knew they knew the truth. Their concerns had been the same as his parents’, and he been on the brink of telling them the truth. It bothered him to lie to his brother, in particular.

  While it had been difficult to keep up the pretense of a real marriage, it hadn’t been hard at all to stand up for Laura. His defense of her probably went a long way to his family reconciling themselves to the wedding.

  Maybe they weren’t in love. But neither was Laura opportunistic or callous. He was unexpectedly touched by her words today about feeling helpful and needed. She’d made room for him in her house. In her life. That was far bigger than a piece of paper.

  “I suppose people are going to expect a certain, I don’t know, sense of occasion.” He floundered over the words. He wasn’t good at this sort of thing. “The park sounds really nice. You should have a new dress, and one for Rowan, too. Order a few flowers. Get your hair done. When was the last time you pampered yourself a little?”

  She wasn’t looking at him now and he got the sense he’d said something wrong. “Laura? What is it? Did I say something wrong? You don’t have to do those things if you don’t want to. I just thought... Never mind. I’m probably an idiot.”

  When she looked at him, he swore her eyes were damp, though no tears glistened on her lashes or touched her cheeks. “It’s not that. It’s a lovely idea. Except, well, we’re at the point where we’re honest with each other, right?”

  “You did my laundry yesterday.” He smiled at her. “You’ve officially folded my underwear. We’re living together. I think honesty might be a good idea.”

  He was gratified to see her smile a bit.

  “It’s two things, really,” she admitted, and he noticed she picked at a cuticle with her fingernail. “I don’t really have the money to go do all those things. And even if I did...” She swallowed. “A bride should have a sister or girlfriends or someone to go on a shopping trip like that. The thought of going alone is gross.”

  A reminder of her outcast status in the community. He got it. It was that way because of the sacrifice she’d made thinking it would be best for her daughter. “None of your old school friends have stayed in touch?” After all, Laura had grown up here. Surely she’d stayed friends with someone.

  “A few did at first, until it was obvious I was pregnant. When everyone thought it was Gavin’s, they stopped calling.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  She made a “what can you do?” face. “Even if I’d said Rowan wasn’t his, I doubt anyone would have believed me. So I kept my head down and my mouth shut.”

  The thought of dress-shopping was not a happy one, but neither was the idea of her feeling so incredibly lonely. The people in this town needed a kick in the rear.

  “I’ll go with you. And I’ll pick up the tab. I’m pretty sure I can afford a dress and a few flowers or something.”

  “Tanner, that’s generous of you, but I can’t let you do that.”

  Pride. He was starting to understand that she seemed to be keeping a running tab in her head. “Listen, keep the receipts if you like. When your business is up and going, you can pay me back, if you feel that strongly about it.”

  He didn’t have any intention of taking her money, but she didn’t need to know that.

  “You really want to go shopping?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

  “Why not?” He had a suit, so he shrugged. “Maybe I’ll get a new tie.”

  Her face lit up. Just a bit, but he knew he’d done the right thing by suggesting it.

  “Let me know what day is good for you. I’ll work around your schedule.”

  “If I tell Cole I’m taking a day for wedding plans, he won’t think anything of it. We’ll go into the city. Have lunch. Make a day of it. Maybe Monday? I’m on call again this weekend.” And he’d deal with that when the time came. He loved his EMT work. He wasn’t about to abandon it because of one horrible call.

  “Okay,” she said, nodding. “But nothing fancy. I’d like something nice that I can wear again.”

  He wasn’t sure if that was a practical streak or if she really thought she didn’t deserve any better. He hoped it was the first.

  She touched his knee. “Thank you, Tanner. Are you feeling any better now?”

  He was. There was a lingering heaviness when he thought about the day’s events, but the shock and shakes had worn off from the distraction she’d provided. He suspected she’d done it deliberately, clever woman.

  “I am. Now that the adrenaline’s worn off, I’m kind of crashing, though. Man, I’m so tired.”

  “Have a sleep, then. Rowan will be up soon and I should go clean up the disaster that was the doughnuts.” She crawled off the bed and stretched.

  “Laura?” He looked up at her, felt helplessly as though he was starting to care far too much. “About the doughnuts. Really, you don’t have to try so hard. I appreciate the effort.” He sent her a crooked smile, because they both knew what a mess it had turned out to be. “But seriously, you don’t have to be anything other than who you are. That’s enough. I want you to remember that, okay?”

  Her gaze touched his, and he felt the strange thump in his chest that seemed to happen whenever she looked at him with her eyes all soft and her lips slightly parted.

  “You’re a good man,” she murmured. “Thank you for saying that, Tanner.”

  She slipped out of the room before he could say anything more, and he closed his eyes and sank back against the pillows. She’d thanked him for saying it, but he got the impression she didn’t believe it.

  Dammit. He was only supposed to like her. What the hell was he doing falling for her anyway?

  * * *

  LAURA KNEW SHE had no right to be so excited.

  It wasn’t a real wedding. She wasn’t shopping for a real wedding dress. And yet the idea of going shopping, of buying something new and pretty was so exhilarating. And something for Rowan, too, she determined. She could afford to buy her daughter a little frilly dress for the ceremony.

  By nine o’clock Monday morning, they were ready to go. Tanner had gone to the ranch early to help with morning chores and catch up on some other odd jobs, but he’d promised to be back by nine-thirty.

  Rowan was fed, bathed, and dressed in cute leggings and a ruffled top with a bonnet on her head that she kept picking at in boredom. Laura had dressed up, too, in the same dress she’d worn the night Tanner made his crazy proposal. On her feet were little sandals with kitten heels that she thought might work while trying on dresses. She had everything in the diaper bag, including a small dish containing some dry cereal that she’d recently started feeding to Rowan. Now she was pacing, waiting for Tanner to c
ome home, stopping in the hall mirror to check her lip gloss one more time.

  It felt real. It had felt real ever since he came home last week, his shirt spattered with blood and heartbreak in his eyes. Something had changed that day, when he looked at her before going to sleep. He hadn’t kissed her, hadn’t done anything inappropriate. But there was a different closeness between them now. An awareness. Maybe it was wrong, maybe it was ill-advised, but it was there all the same. It would take a stronger woman than her to resist Tanner’s gallantry.

  He’d worked two more shifts on ambulance duty on the weekend, and she’d worried about him. He’d come home quiet and somewhat subdued, but on Saturday night, Rowan had been fussing a bit and he’d sat on the floor with her and played and seemed to come around. Lord help her, for a few minutes they’d actually felt like a little family.

  Would it be so bad to pretend it was a tiny bit real?

  A growl in the front yard announced the return of Tanner and his truck. They’d agreed to take her car today, since it was easier on gas and the car seat was already inside.

  “You ready, darlin’?” she said to Rowan. “Gonna get you a new dress today. Mama, too.”

  Tanner bounded in, his face relaxed and smiling. “You’re all ready to go. Excellent.”

  “Ro always has me up early. Plus, I think she’s excited for shopping.”

  “Oh, she is, is she? I think her mama’s the one who’s excited.”

  “Maybe just a little.”

  “I thought we’d hit the mall in Great Falls, unless you want a specialty shop or something. I don’t know much about dresses and stuff.”

  “The mall is fine. There’s a JCPenney there.” She was more than happy to go to the department store. Just having the day away from Gibson was enough.

  “Let’s go, then. I’ve got a hot chocolate for you in the car, and coffee for me. Thought we could use it for the drive.”

  Hot chocolate, and a shopping trip. Wasn’t he full of surprises?