What to Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection (WTRAFSOG Book 3)

by Lauren Hawkeye

A surge of warmth eased a bit of the chill over the news of my mom’s accident.

  It was nice to be taken care of for once.

  “No.” I planted my hands on the cool metal door of Alex’s car as he heaved my duffel bag into the truck. “You can’t blow off school for who knows how long, just for this.”

  “This is something pretty serious,” He said mildly, as rounded the car and opened my door for me. Though his words were light, his face was set in steel.

  He’d taken a half hour to arrive at my dorm because he’d packed his own bag, which was now nestled in the trunk of his sedan with mine. My heart was racing and I felt sick, because not only did I not want to go home at all, I didn’t want him there, affected by the poison that was Felicity and Bob.

  “Alex, I’m serious.” Though it wrenched my heart, I knew I had to pull out all the stops to change his mind. “I… I don’t want you there.”

  He flicked an annoyed glance at me, then with a hand splayed flat on my back, urged me into the car. I planted my feet, hands on my hips, and glared.

  “Are you listening to me?” My irritation was real now. “I said I don’t want you there.”

  “I’m listening.” His mild manner held a trace of his own agitation. “But what you’re saying isn’t what you really want, so I’m ignoring it.”

  My mouth fell open and I sputtered to form a sentence. Back on the driver’s side, Alex braced his arms on the roof of his car and faced me, his expression infuriatingly calm.

  “Can you tell me why you don’t want me to go with you?”

  I opened my mouth, closed it, and glared.

  I couldn’t tell him, not without talking about Bob. And that was not ever going to happen.

  “That’s what I thought.” He pointed again at the passenger’s seat. “Let’s go.”

  Feeling as though I’d just been rather neatly steamrollered, I did as he said, slamming the door behind me and jerking on the seatbelt harder than I needed to, to fasten it. I sat silent as we pulled off campus, as Alex stopped at a service station for fuel and coffee.

  When he got back in the car after paying—I’d silently offered my credit card, but he’d pretended he hadn’t noticed—he handed me a paper cup that smelled of dark roast.

  “Skim milk, right?” He asked. The simple words, the small gesture, was my undoing. A scalding tear slid down my cheek, and I lifted the cup to my lips, gulping at the scalding liquid to hide it.

  Alex was right. I couldn’t do this alone. But though by now I knew better, I couldn’t shake the notion that he would be disgusted when he learned who had been responsible for the abuse I’d suffered as a teen. More than that, I worried that being back home, being in that environment, would turn me into the girl I used to be.

  I curled my fists, picturing them in boxing gloves. I didn’t want to lose the woman that Alex had helped me see I could be.

  “How long of a drive is it?” He asked. My hometown was called Lodenville, and it was a small suburb of Plymouth, New Hampshire.

  “About four, or four and a half hours.” My voice sounded thick from the suppressed tears. “We can take turns driving.”

  “You’re in no condition to be driving right now.” Alex’s voice was full of frustration, and I glanced at him sharply, surprised by the tone in his voice.

  “Will you just let me take care of you?” He sighed, sounding frustrated. Taking his eyes off the road just long enough to reach out and tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, he cast me a smile that was equal parts amusement, bafflement and exasperation.

  “I’m not used to being taken care of.” Setting my coffee in one of the cup holders, I twined my fingers together in my lap, staring down at them, though I could feel Alex’s eyes on me. “I… I was a problem teenager, you know? I was something to be dealt with, not someone to be looked after.”

  One of Alex’s large, warm hands reached across the console and covered my clasped hands. His thumb rubbed over my entwined fingers, and just the small gesture warmed my soul.

  “I love you, Serena.” His voice was sure. I cast a sidelong glance at him.

  “Why?” I still couldn’t quite believe it. This beautiful, scarred man was just too good to be true.

  As I watched, his lips quirked up in amusement. He squeezed my hand, then returned his grip to the steering wheel.

  “I just do. Get used to it.”

  “Should we go to the hospital or your house?”

  I’d fallen silent again as we’d entered Lodenville. If I had been driving, I might very well have turned around and driven straight back to campus.

  To the naked eye, nothing in town had changed. To me, though, it felt like I had entered Wonderland, where everything was upside down and backwards.

  “The hospital.” I had absolutely no desire to go back to the house, where it had all happened. Alex followed my directions, and long before I was ready we pulled into the hospital parking lot.

  Which brought up another question.

  “I… we can’t stay at the house.” The words escaped my mouth in a rush as Alex parked the car in a spot at the back of the hospital lot. My nails dug into the palms of my hands. “I’m sorry. I should have said that before… I’ll pay for a room at a motel. But we can’t stay there.”

  I wondered if Alex would guess then, if he would understand why I wouldn’t—couldn’t—stay in my old house, my old room. Whether he did or not, he simply nodded.

  “Let’s go in. While you see your mom, I’ll find something close and book a room. Okay?”

  I nodded, the movement a bit frantic. Focusing on trying to control my ragged breath, I smoothed my palms over the thighs of my jeans.

  Alex reached over and twined his fingers in one of mine, briefly, before opening the door. It was a quick, subtle, but strong reminder that I didn’t have to do this alone.

  Oh, but he didn’t fully understand. He knew this would be hard for me, but he had no idea how hard.

  The smell of the hospital hit me first, the sterile antiseptic not quite able to cover the scent of sickness. The fluorescent lights cast everything in a sickly pallor, and when I looked down at my hands they looked the color of wheat, laced through with amethyst and emerald veins, looking like they belonged to someone else.

  “Felicity Baker?” I asked the woman at the front desk quietly. She looked over plastic rimmed glasses that were too large for her face and pinched her lips together as if about to give me a lecture.

  Then recognition dawned, and she gave me one of those sympathetic half smiles that people do when they’re trying to be sympathetic, the ones that instead crawl under your skin like a million tiny spiders.

  “Serena, honey. Of course. I didn’t recognize you at first.”

  I didn’t recognize her at all, but I didn’t doubt that she knew me. Lodenville was a small town, and I had been a wild teen.

  It was also easy to believe that she hadn’t recognized me. When I’d left Lodenville for college I’d been fifty pounds heavier, amongst other things.

  The woman pursed her lips as she tapped on her computer screen. Her face lit up when she found what she was looking for.

  “Unit C, room 4.” She scribbled the information on a sticky note and passed it across the counter to me. “She’ll be glad to see you.”

  I thanked the woman with tight lips, then turned the way she’d gestured. I could feel Alex behind me, a solid, warm presence that seemed incredibly out of place in this reality.

  “If she’ll be glad to see me, I suppose that means she’s awake. And possibly drugged.” My voice was wry. Alex didn’t reply, just took my hand again, supporting me as we wound down the narrow corridor.

  My stomach clenched as we approached the outside of the room. I was here because I was Felicity’s daughter, but that didn’t make our last conversation any more pleasant. Also, I didn’t have any idea what I was walking into, since Bob hadn’t offered any more information, and I sure hadn’t asked.

  I could see her through th
e door, lying in her hospital bed. From outside the room it was difficult to see anything in the dim room.

  “I should… ah… probably do this alone.” I turned to Alex, offered him a tight smile. Just as I’d known, it was uncomfortable having him there.

  But it was also good. I wasn’t alone.

  “I’ll look for a room.” He waved his phone at me, and I nodded. He pointed at a chair set against the wall, about halfway down the hall. “I’ll be right here.”

  I watched him for a moment as he walked away, marvelling again at how this tall, gorgeous boy could belong to me.

  Then, bracing myself, I entered my mom’s room.

  A quick glance around told me that she was alone, and I exhaled a breath that I hadn’t known I was holding. Able to let that worry go, I crept to the side of the bed and looked down at my mother, my teeth worrying my lower lip.

  “Felicity?” I whispered, not sure if she was asleep or not. It was strange, seeing her this way, pale and somewhat vulnerable.

  It was the way I felt around her most of the time.

  Shifting at the sound of my voice, Felicity propped herself up on her elbows, squinting up at me. Realizing that she probably didn’t have her contacts in, I looked around for her glasses, found them sitting on the moveable tray, and handed them to her wordlessly.

  “Serena?” Felicity slid the glasses onto her nose and looked up at me, puzzled. “What on earth are you doing here?”

  Her words were like a knife to my skin. I felt my face twist with hurt, and did my best to smooth it out.

  “You were in a car accident. Of course I’m here.” My words were clipped, short, and for once Felicity picked up on the nuance.

  She reached out for my hand, laid hers overtop of it. I fought through the urge to pull away, since it had been a very long time since she’d reached out to me like that.

  “I’m glad you came, Serena. I’m sorry if it didn’t sound like that.” While she spoke, my eyes scanned her body, searching for reasons that she would be in the hospital.

  I saw nothing, but then, I wasn’t a doctor.

  My confusion only deepened with her next words.

  “I just don’t understand why you’d come all that way for something like this, when you’ve been so dead set against coming home.” Her voice sounded puzzled. My knee jerk reaction was to say that Lodenville wasn’t my home, hadn’t been my home since I was fifteen, but I figured it might be inappropriate, given the circumstances.

  “Bob texted me. He told me you’d been in an accident, that I should come home.” I said slowly. As Felicity sat up fully, I began to see a glimmer of the truth.

  Bob had exaggerated, just to see if I had come running. After so many years of having me under his thumb, he didn’t like me being out of his reach.

  “Oh, that man. Always so worried about me.” Felicity smiled fondly, while inwardly I seethed.

  I’d tried to find out—I’d called the hospital. But Bob had been smart enough to know that I’d come.

  “So you’re all right, then?” My voice was tight, and Felicity raised an eyebrow at the tone.

  “Don’t sound too happy about it, or anything.” But she waved the words off with a flick of her hand—she’d long since taught herself to ignore any emotion that came from my direction.

  “I was hit in the intersection on Pine and Fifth. The other person’s car is a write off; ours is fine.” She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, and for a moment I was startled.

  I did that same thing so often myself.

  “I have a few scrapes and bruises, nothing serious. But I did hit my head hard enough that they wanted to monitor me for the day. Everything has gone well, and I’ll likely be discharged before bedtime.”

  I swallowed thickly, then nodded.

  “That’s great.” No way was I going to tell Felicity how Bob had phrased it, making sure that I came running. She would just tell him, and I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction.

  Never again.

  We chatted for a few more minutes, but with every second that ticked by, I became more and more aware of the likelihood that Bob would return. Finally I interrupted Felicity’s fourth recitation of exactly how the accident had happened, and, surprising myself, bent to kiss her on the cheek.

  “I’m glad you’re okay.” I said softly. Her skin was smooth beneath my lips, and the warmth lingered after I pulled away. We stared at one another for a moment, both of us puzzled, I think, but the unexpected gesture.

  “Are you—will you be staying overnight?” Felicity’s voice was stiff, but not, I thought, unfriendly.

  “I think so.” I wondered if I should pretend that I had come alone, but I found that I wouldn’t mind if Bob knew that I had brought someone with me. Plus, I didn’t want to pretend anything with Alex, ever. “I brought a friend with me. I’ll need to check with him.”

  I thought that Felicity would certainly have some comment about the fact that I’d come all this way with a male ‘friend’. Under normal circumstances she would have. Maybe she was still off balance from the kiss on the cheek. Whatever the reason, she nodded.

  “Make sure you come to see me again before you leave.” She didn’t ask if we were staying at the house. She knew better.

  “I will.” I turned before an awkward silence could stretch out between us.

  Puzzled and feeling slightly off balance, I stepped out of the dim room and into the bright lights of the hallway. My eyes immediately sought out Alex. He was leaning against the wall, his hands in his pockets, and I couldn’t miss the way his eyes brightened when he saw me.

  As for me, my entire soul brightened at the sight of him. I went to him without reservation, folding myself into his arms for a tight hug.

  “Hey.” I smiled when he pressed a kiss to the top of my head, then pulled back to look into his eyes. He was smiling back, but I could see the question over my sudden hug.

  I wasn’t usually very demonstrative with affection, and I knew it.

  “That bad?” I shook my head, taking a moment to draw in his smell—soap, detergent, and him.

  “No. She’s actually fine.” My brow furrowed as I remembered Bob. “She’s going to be discharged any time now. My stepfather… ah… got a little excited.”

  I couldn’t say anything else, not without saying all there was to say about Bob. I no longer wanted to keep it a secret because I thought Alex would leave me—no, it was more because I didn’t want to tarnish what we had with the dirty memories of the past.

  “Well, it’s up to you. I found a room, but we could drive back tonight too.” Alex watched me as he spoke. I was tempted to agree to the latter—to run back to the safety of campus. But I could see the dark shadows beneath Alex’s eyes—he’d been up with the sun for football practice, and had been taking care of me all day.

  “We’ll stay the night, and leave in the morning.” I wanted nothing more than to run, but I was slowly learning.

  Running didn’t take away the problems; it just postponed them to a later date.

  Back in the parking lot, as I opened the passenger’s side door, I saw a man approach the front doors of the hospital. His hair was spiky and brown, threaded through with grey, and even from a distance I could see the plaid of the quilted jacket he wore in the spring and the fall.

  I froze as I laid eyes on the man I hadn’t seen for three years. My heart leapt into my throat, choking me, and I uttered a small sound that I barely heard myself.

  But Alex heard.

  “Serena?” He looked from me to the front doors of the hospital, but Bob was gone. I tore my eyes away from the ghost of my past, and smiled at the boy who had saved me from drowning.

  “Let’s go get some sleep.”

  I slept like the dead, waking only once. The nightmare clung to me like the sticky threads of a spider’s web, making my heart race and nausea rise up in my belly.

  The smell of lavender hovered in the air.

  “Ssh.” Strong arms wrapped
around me, sure fingers stroked through my hair. Alex was there, chasing away the nightmares, and I wasn’t alone.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I was going back to the house. I couldn’t avoid it.

  “This will be quick,” I promised Alex, or maybe I was promising myself. I had texted my mom, who was now home, that we were stopping by to say goodbye.

  I had told her that Bob needed to be out of the house while we did.

  “Do you want me to come in with you?”

  I wanted his strength, desperately, but the thought of Alex in that house made my skin crawl, so I shook my head.

  I saw a flicker of hurt in his eyes.

  “This doesn’t mean I don’t want them to meet you, Alex.” Tentatively, I reached out to brush my fingers over his cheek. He caught them in his hand and held tight. “It’s that I don’t want you to meet them.”

  “That doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense, babe.” There was an undeniable thread of agitation in his voice, and I winced, knowing that I was the cause.

  “Please. Just… not today, okay?” I pleaded. The set to Alex’s lips told me that it wasn’t okay, not at all.

  I closed my eyes briefly as I hurried up the walk to the house. Was I doing the right thing, not telling him that final piece of the puzzle?

  Maybe I would tell him… someday.

  But not here, and not today. This was going to be hard enough as it was.

  Ringing the doorbell, I stuffed my hands into my pockets and waited. There was no answer. I rang again, then knocked, the sound reverberating off the wood.

  No one came.

  I furrowed my brow, hesitating for a minute. I had promised Felicity that I would come say goodbye. And I had told her that Bob needed to be out of the house before I did.

  Maybe she was sleeping.

  Slowly, I placed my hand on the doorknob. This had been my home, once. Surely it was okay for me to go in.

  My breath hitched as I stepped through the doorway. I quickly looked around, a habit I’d developed to quickly alert myself to the presence of a threat… a very specific threat.