What to Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection (WTRAFSOG Book 3)

by Lauren Hawkeye

  I could stare at Derek all night. Right now, as I’m dancing with another man, all I want to do is run to Derek, tell him how in love I am with him. As if he sensed my mind being elsewhere, Holden swings me around so that my back is now facing Derek.

  “I’m sorry that I’ve stayed away for so long. Ah, I never wanted to leave to begin with, but like I told you earlier I couldn’t stand you being with Jake. I grew up with him. I know the type of guy he was. I had hoped he would have changed…for you. I guess that didn’t happen though.” He loosens his grip around my waist so I’m now able to look up at into his deep brown eyes. I can see he feels somewhat responsible for what took place seeing as he introduced us.

  “Holden, I was a big girl. I knew he had a reputation and it didn’t keep me away. Like you, I had hoped he had changed for me. I actually thought he had. It’s funny the things you find out about people once they’re gone.”

  His attention is taken away from me as he looks at the commotion behind me. He has the most curious look on his face as he stares off in the direction towards the bar.

  “That guy sitting at the bar looks really familiar. Do you know him Jes?” I know exactly which guy he’s talking about but I play dumb.

  “Which guy are you talking about?”

  “The one that’s been staring at you…all night.” He turns us slightly sideways so I can see the man I already know he’s talking about. I don’t want to talk about Derek or why he’s staring at me. Holden doesn’t need to know that the man he’s asking about is the only man’s arms I truly crave to be around me.

  “Yeah, he’s in that band from here that’s been on tour with Black Falcon.” I know Holden well enough that I can tell he is not convinced by my answer.

  He just shakes his head. “Right, that must be it.”

  “I think it’s time for a drink.” Mallory meets us half way to the table and grabs my arm pulling me towards the bathrooms.

  “Sorry Holden, but I’m going to have to steal my potty buddy.”

  Glancing back towards him as she’s dragging me away, I smile and shrug my shoulders. As Mallory pushes me out the back entrance instead of the bathroom I’m instantly pinned to the exterior brick wall of the bar by a pair of strong possessive lips. The same pair of lips I’ve dreamed about for the past month.

  Oh god.

  I don’t want to think about all the pain I’ve been feeling this past month as Derek’s lips mold to mine. I don’t want to stop this feeling of contentment that’s trying to settle its way in my mind. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to yell. And I definitely don’t want to cry. All I want to do is pull him so tight to me that we melt into this wall. All I want is to have him in the most intimate way possible. The way I haven’t been able to yet. But I can’t, and I tell them just that as I push him away.

  He doesn’t break the closeness of our bodies as he searches my face for all the answers will magically appear on it. He’s wants to know where I stand. How I’m feeling. If there’s still a chance to fix what he screwed up. Deep down I know the answer is yes. I know by the passion he just poured into me through that short lived kiss and the closeness he’s refusing to let go of, that he’s full of regret. Between being caught up in the moment and the silence that seems to be slowly stretching by, I know that more than anything he wants to make all the bull shit that went down right. But even though I know it deep within my soul, it’s not enough. I need to hear it.

  “I needed you Derek. I get why you didn’t tell me about Jake, but the way I had to find out and then finding out you already knew, was too much to bear. Everything I had held on to so tightly had been a complete lie. And you had known.” I poke my finger in his chest before letting out a heavy sigh. “But what hurt more than finding out, was not hearing from you. Not having you in my life for this past month hurt more than any of it.” His eyes never stray from mine.

  “I’ve missed you so much Jesika. I’ve thought about you every second of every damn day.” He strokes his hand down my cheek instantly causing all my senses to return to high alert. “There were so many fucking times I just stared at my phone with your number on it waiting for me to push call.” He shakes his head. “But I couldn’t do it. I had to protect you. Even if you can’t see it, that’s what I was doing. I couldn’t risk pulling you into anymore of the drama that had pushed you away in the first place. I don’t want to lose you Jes, but dammit if me avoiding the chance of you getting dragged into the bullshit has caused me to, then I’ll find a way to live with it.” He rests his forehead against mine and lets out a tortured breath. “I will always protect you. I will always put the safety of your heart above everything else.” He traces his hand, the one that had just been caressing my cheek, past my neck causing goose bumps along the way. He doesn’t stop his descent until his hand is lying over my heart. “Please tell me I haven’t lost you for good Jes. Please tell me I still have a chance.”

  “The not knowing has been the worst part of all of this Derek. Every new day that would pass would bring a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe it would be the day I’d hear from you. It killed me Derek. But I was starting to deal with it. I was slowly realizing that I might never hear from you again and everything I had thought we had was all a dream.” I grab his face with both hands. “Then you show up tonight and all the feelings I thought were slowly fading away were instantly front and center. As soon as I saw you, all I wanted was you. All I wanted was for you to be mine again. As soon as I saw you I realized I will never get over you. You’re all I’ll ever want Derek. I know your heart and I know you would never intentionally hurt me. You will never lose me. My heart is yours.” Feeling that there is too much distance between us I pull his face to mine instantly finding his needy lips. Right now all I want is him, and for him to know he hasn’t lost me. That he never will.

  I don’t even care that we’re outside against this building in the open; my need for him out weighs everything logical that attempts to cross my mind. I can feel his need for me as he pins me deep into the scruffy brick wall while pressing his hard pelvis against mine, which results in a loud moan from my mouth.

  “God Jesika,” he says as he kisses a trail down my neck which causes my body to shudder. “I want you so damn bad it hurts.” That statement does something inside me. It assures me that the feelings I have for Derek aren’t one sided.

  It tells me that I’m not the only one that has been hurting this past month. It has me wanting him more than I had ever thought possible. This isn’t the ideal setting that I had imagined for our first time, but hell if it isn’t hot. What’s happening right now between us is pure need. We need each other. The need to feel outweighs any need for romance.

  Derek works his mouth back to mine as I tangle my hands in his hair; his lips on mine is pure bliss. His tongue is eager for contact with mine as soon as I part his lips.

  Rubbing his hands up and down my sides I can no longer keep my hands away above waist level. Sensing my need for him, he cups my ass and prompts me to lift my legs and then they automatically wrap around him. This time we both groan together as he shows me just how bad he wants me. He’s grinding his cock against me, and oh my god does it feel amazing. I have a good feeling that he’s going to send me over the edge before we are even skin to skin.

  Never breaking his mouth from mine, he moves his hands back and forth over my thighs pushing my skirt up the rest of the way. His thumbs lightly graze the outer edges of my panties each time. I can’t control the rocking against him as my hips start rocking on their own accord. His hands trace their way back up my sides like he’s trying to memorize my body. Making his way to my breasts, he wastes no time pulling down my shirt just enough to release them. Instantly his mouth is on them. A breeze passes by us and chills run through my body, causing my nipples to harden even more against his eager mouth.

  The attention he is showing my body is almost too much. I slide my hand down between where our waists are linked and I start rubbing up and down on hi
s hardness. As if following my lead, he takes his free hand and slips one finger under my panties to where I want him most.

  I belt out, “Oh my god, Derek!” As my head falls back against the wall with a thud, I pay no attention to the pain because the words that come out next make me forget all things.

  “You’re so wet for me baby,” he says while breaking his mouth away from my nipple.

  “Only for you Derek,” I manage to say before he pushes his finger deeper inside me. He places his head in the crook of my neck as he works his finger like magic to hit my sweet spot.

  I’m shaking; I’m so close.

  I begin to pant and he senses my closeness and he pushes in another finger and then uses his thumb to rub me right over the edge. I quickly recover from the waves pulsing through my body. Not wasting another second of overdue closeness, I rush to unbutton his pants.

  Chuckling at my impatient need for him he asks, “Jesika, are you sure?” I try to silently answer him by not stopping my journey into his pants, but he places his hand on top of mine to get my full attention. He has to know just how bad I want him…I need him.

  “Derek, I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than I want you right now. I need you Derek. I need to show you what I feel.” He moves his hand off of mine and places both hands on my face.

  Looking into my eyes I can see the love he feels for me without the words that might not come. Knowing that words aren’t what we need, I nod my head and say, “Me too,” before slipping my hand down the front of his boxers.

  Derek lets out a heavy groan and rests his forehead against my shoulder as I release him and work my hand up and down. “You have no idea what you do to me,” he says between heavy breaths. Using my hold on him, I navigate his length to the place I want him most. Showing him how wet I am for him, I rub the tip of his hardness up and down my hot center, mimicking the way his thumb sent me over the edge minutes ago.

  “Derek,” not expecting an answer I continue, “do you feel how bad I want you baby?”

  “Damn it Jes,” he hisses, “I don’t have a condom.”

  “You don’t need one. I can’t get pregnant again. Plus, the idea of any kind of barrier between us right now, isn’t an option. I need you, all of you.”

  And with that confession, he pushes himself in where I need him the most right now.

  Chapter Twenty

  Derek

  My heart is pounding like it’s going to burst out of my chest. This woman has no freaking clue what she does to me. Gah, or how good she feels. It’s far better than I could have ever dreamt. This goes above and beyond getting laid, and getting mine. This is all about giving. They say giving is better than receiving and in this case, trying to show her without words how much I love her, it is. I can sense through the way her body responds to mine, the look in her eyes, and by the few words that have been spoken, that she’s trying to show me that she feels exactly what I do. This first time experience between us is filled with pure need, we are able to show each other the things we feel, with something as simple as touch, things we haven’t been able to say out loud to one another.

  I want to take her over the edge again, but I know I’m not going to last much longer because everything I’m feeling right now isn’t going to let me drag it out. Her body seems to recognize the urgency my body is feeling to let go in her. With my hands holding her ass while her legs are gripped around my waist, she slides her hand down and grabs my left hand and brings it up to her mouth. I readjust my right arm so that it’s wrapped around her, holding her steady.

  I watch her as she kisses each finger, and then takes the two fingers closest to my thumb and puts them in her mouth. She can’t control the sexy smile on her face as I let out a moan. I almost blow my load too. Never breaking eye contact with me as she sucks my fingers she pulls them, licks her lips and then kisses the tips of them. As if that wasn’t the hottest damn thing I’ve ever seen, she then directs my hand to where my body has her legs parted.

  She knows I’m about to lose myself literally inside of her, and she wants to get lost with me. My fingers find her sweet spot and now she’s the one who can’t control the moan. Her fingers are in my hair and her mouth is on mine. I feel like I have her pressed so hard against the damn wall that I know there will be an indentation of her body blended into the brick.

  I love that she’s not one of them chicks that freaking moan like a donkey the whole damn time. The little noises that do happen to escape her mouth, the look on her face and her heavy breathing is all I need to know that with a couple more rolls of my fingers I’ll have her insides clenching around me.

  Her hands are no longer twined in my hair, but wrapped around my neck hands to elbows and we are cheek to cheek.

  “Derek…oh god Derek…I’m gonna come,” she pants in my ear.

  “Me too baby,” I say before I feel her whole body tighten around me, and then explode and I gladly release myself into her. We are both breathing heavily and pulsating with pleasure.

  She slowly pulls her head back wipes the hair away from her face and claims my mouth one last time before she looks me deep in my eyes. “I love you Derek. I’m pretty sure I love you more than I have ever loved anyone.”

  I’m so mesmerized by her I can’t say anything, but I look at her in awe. This woman, who I had been in like with for the last two years and in love with the last six months, has me speechless. Feeling her trying to pull apart from our nearness breaks me from my trance. The look on her face shows worry. What’s wrong immediately hits me.

  Not wasting another second and keeping our bodies connected I grab her face with both hands. She’s trying to look away as I see a tear stream down her face.

  “Jes, baby look at me…please.”

  She slowly lifts her eyes to mine and they are filled with sadness. “I know you felt what I just felt. I know you have to know how madly I am in love with you Jes. Hearing you tell me that you love me,” I shake my head trying to hide the emotion that’s surfacing to my eyes, “I have only dreamt, prayed for and fantasized about those words to slip from your lips.” Not caring if she sees my moist eyes, I look her deep in the eyes. “Don’t take my silence as me not feeling the same way about you. Your words froze me. I couldn’t talk…I couldn’t move.”

  All I could do in that short amount of time was think. Think about how this amazingly beautiful woman, inside and out, loves me…ME. She could have anyone she wants, but she wants me. All I could think about was that this woman who has owned my heart and soul for over the past two years loves me. Having what feels to be a death grip on her hips I rest my forehead against hers as our noses give unintentional Eskimo kisses.

  Letting out a heavy sigh I continue, “I know I have a lot of explaining to do for this past month and I know that there is even more stuff that we need to talk about. I want to talk about it. All of it. It’s time you know everything. But all I want to do right now is get you off this damn wall, take you home and make love to you all night. Will you let me do that? Will you let me show you how in love with you I am? Leave the talking for tomorrow?”

  I pull my head back enough to search her face praying that she’s leaving with me. The worry has left her eyes and she’s now smiling.

  Nodding her head she says, “Yeah. Can we go to my house though? I don’t really want to be in competition with Seth and Mallory all night at your house.” I slowly ease myself out of her and let her get the feeling back in her legs before I fully let go.

  “Whatever you want babe. As long as you let me show you just how much I love you tonight, because just saying it doesn’t do it any justice. Doesn’t mean I won’t be telling you all the time now, because I will be…but just know there is no word that could ever fully grasp what I feel for you.”

  We both have our clothes back in their proper places and I pull her into my chest. Running my hand through her hair, I look down at her and then take that same hand and use it to guide her face to look up at me. She looks at me and th
en slightly turns her head to kiss the palm of my hand before placing her hand on top of it and returning my stare.

  “Jesika, I love you. I love you more than I ever thought was possible to love someone, and tonight, tonight I’m going to take my time showing you just how much I love you…all night.”

  She chuckles and asks, “Do we get to take cat naps or are we pulling an all-nighter?”

  I answer truthfully. “There will be no sleeping until we both can’t move. We are definitely pulling an all-nighter. An all-night sex-a-thon!”

  Heading towards my truck she grabs my hand and says, “I can’t wait. The way you made me feel back there…mmm, I’ve never felt that way before. All I know is that you need to get me home…NOW. If not, I’m going to mount you as soon as we get in your truck.”

  Opening the passenger door for her, she turns to me for a kiss. Before I shut her door, I bend in and say, “Patience Jes. I want your body fully aware and senses on red alert for what I’m about to make it feel. I can tell you it will blow that quickie we just had out of the ballpark.”

  Jesika’s phone rings as soon as I shut the door. Making my way around to my side, I don’t pay any mind to it since it’s probably just Mallory. Damn, maybe it could be the dude she was having a merry ole time with before I stole her away. Obviously she wasn’t that interested in him to keep staring at me. But let me just tell you that the moment I saw her on that stage singing her gorgeous heart out, that was the moment I was hit with a gust of nerves. I thought I was nervous on our first date, but the way I felt in that very moment put those nerves to shame. Her taking off after spotting me only confirmed those nerves were a very welcome feeling because it proved the night might have not ended up in my favor.