An odd little grin crept across his lips. ‘You’d think, after all these years of wanting to do that, I’d actually remember it when I finally did.’ He swallowed a second tablet and another gulp of water before giving a half-hearted laugh.
‘It’s not in the least bit funny, Logan. How could you do such a thing?’
He grimaced at his gran’s obvious distress.
‘What’s the big deal, Gran? So I made a complete and utter fool of myself. I was drunk. I was caught up in the excitement of last night. It was wrong, yes. It was no doubt embarrassing for everyone concerned, but it’s hardly the end of the world. Severine will be off to New York before we know it. As a matter of interest, how did Severine take my no doubt clumsy attempt to win her?’ He rubbed his cheek. ‘I don’t recall being slapped, but then again, I don’t recall kissing her and I really should be able to remember that, so…’ He shrugged.
‘She didn’t slap you. And that’s half the problem. From what I’ve been told, the damn woman wanted to know why you’d never told her how you felt before. As if it might have made a difference. Dear God and everything that is holy, Logan, if you start an affair with Severine Starr, you’ll be looking for a new roof to do it under.’
‘Start an affair …? What are you talking about? Severine’s not interested in me. She never has been, unfortunately.’
‘Oh really? Well, she was certainly interested last night, or so your mother said. Severine not only returned your kisses with equal ardour, she clung to you as if she had no intention of ever letting you go. And that, believe me, can only spell disaster.’
‘Severine kissed me back? You’re sure? You’re absolutely sure?’
‘Good grief, Logan! Don’t look so happy about it. That woman is a menace. A home wrecker. A harlot.’
‘You’re talking about the woman I’m in love with, Gran. A woman I’ve been in love with all my life.’
‘She’s engaged, Logan. And expecting another man’s child!’
‘I know that, Gran. But I love her. I always have. And there’s not a lot I can do about that.’
‘Oh dear Lord.’ Jane shook her head and reached out her hand. ‘Throw me those tablets, Logan. My head is fit to burst.’
Oddly enough, that was exactly how Logan’s heart felt.
Chapter Nineteen
Severine walked into the kitchen, saw Molly huddled over the kitchen table, deep in conversation with Logan’s mum, and made a hasty, silent retreat. She was desperate for coffee, but didn’t think the kitchen was the best place to be this morning. There would be coffee in the bar.
There was. But there was also Evie, who spotted her before she could escape.
‘Morning, Severine. Well, well, you’ve been back for less than a day and already you’ve got Mum in a panic.’
‘Don’t start, Evie. I’m not in the mood.’
Evie poured her a cup of coffee and tapped the seat beside her with her hand.
‘Want to talk about it? I know we don’t get on, but I’m your sister and I love you. If you’re unhappy and you want to talk, I’m here for you.’
Severine stared at her. ‘Where’s Zachary?’
‘Gone to work. He left before dawn. I stayed the night in his room which is why I didn’t come to my room last night. Did you sleep OK?’
Severine sat beside Evie and cradled the cup of coffee.
‘I’m not sure I slept at all. How do you do it, Evie? How do you sail through life without any complications? Without making waves? I can’t seem to stay out of stormy waters and my life gets more complicated every day.’
Evie looked her in the eye. ‘You do seem to get yourself into a bit of a mess every so often. What’s happened this time? I know it has something to do with Logan Dorset, but I have no idea what.’
‘Where do I start?’
‘Try the beginning. That usually works.’ Evie gave Severine a friendly nudge.
‘I’m not sure where the beginning is. That’s half the problem.’ She sighed and took a gulp of coffee. ‘Did you know I had a crush on Logan when we were younger?’
Evie nodded. ‘Yes. And I always thought he had a crush on you.’
‘Did you? That’s odd, because he was always hanging around you.’
‘I think that was because you terrified the life out of him. Actually, you terrified the life out of me, too.’
They glanced at one another and grinned. ‘I’ve always been a bit of a cow, haven’t I?’
‘You won’t get any argument from me on that count. We all loved you though, in spite of that. We still do.’
‘You may not, when I tell you my latest, heinous crime.’
‘Tell me and we’ll see.’
‘I kissed Logan, last night. More than once. And I think I told him I had a crush on him. In fact, I know I did.’
‘O…K. Why do I get the feeling there’s more to come?’
Severine screwed up her face like a Pug dog.
‘Logan told me he loved me. That he’s always loved me. I mean, really loved me. And he said he still does.’
‘Bloody hell! Poor Logan.’
‘Poor Logan? What about me? I’m in love with Harvey. I’m engaged. I’m expecting our child. So why have I just spent all last night dreaming about bloody, Logan Dorset? Please answer me that. And I’m serious. Why? How can I possibly have done that? I only kissed him because Roggero was looking at me in a way that was seriously making my heart do things it shouldn’t. I thought if I kissed Logan, it would get that damn Roggero Tazzeone out of my head. That worked well, didn’t it?’
‘Whoa!’ Evie’s coffee cascaded over the rim of her cup. ‘You kissed Logan because you were lusting after Roggero? Is that what you’re telling me?’ She put her cup down with a thud.
‘I know. It sounds awful, doesn’t it? I’ve been going over and over it in my head and I simply can’t make any sense of it. If I’d been drinking I could understand. But I hadn’t. All I had all night was lemonade. Bloody lemonade!’
‘Don’t get hysterical. Drink your coffee and let’s think about this. Who knows? I mean, who saw you? Mum, I assume, because she’s been snapping at me all morning and that’s not at all like her. She only does that when she’s terribly worried about something. And I saw Logan’s mum in the kitchen with her, so I think we can safely assume what they’re talking about.’
Severine dropped her head into her hands and shook it back and forth.
‘Help me, Evie.’ She threw her sister a pleading look. ‘Please help me.’
‘I’m trying to, but I’m honestly not sure I can. Listen. How do you feel about getting Juniper involved? I always go to her for help. Wait. No. That’s not a good idea. She may be my best friend but clearly even I’m not thinking straight this morning. We’d have to tell her you were lusting after her dad – again – and I think she’s only just forgiven you and him for the last time that happened. OK. I suppose we’re on our own. Do you really love him?’
‘Logan? Or Roggero?’
Evie smirked. ‘I meant your fiancé, Harvey, actually. Do you really love Harvey? I mean, I know you think you do, but do you? Deep down. Do you love him in the way you loved Roggero all those years ago?’
Severine considered the matter for a few moments.
‘Yes. Well, almost. It’s not the same. I can’t compare Harvey with Roggero.’
‘Why not? We could make a list. Write down what you loved about Roggero in one column and what you love about Harvey in another.’
‘What about Logan? Should we have a column for him?’
Evie tutted. ‘I don’t know, Severine. Should we? Only you can answer that. Are you saying that you think you may be a little in love with all three of them? Mum should’ve sent you to a nunnery when you were young.’
‘Don’t be horrid. You said you’d help.’
‘Sorry. My head is spinning.’
Both Evie and Severine spun round in their seats when they heard a cough behind them.
‘That’s
because you drank too much last night, Evie,’ Jessie said. ‘Along with several other people, I believe. Not that you have that excuse, Severine.’
Severine shrank into her chair and Evie fidgeted in hers.
‘It seems you’re making your mark, as usual, miss,’ Jessie continued. ‘And it also seems you need some advice. Pour me some coffee, Evie.’
Evie did as Jessie asked and handed her the coffee.
Severine took a deep breath. ‘If you’re going to lecture me, I’d rather not stay here.’
‘I am, and you shall. It’s about time someone sat you down and sorted you out, Severine Starr. You’re like an out of control comet, smashing yourself against anyone and anything you come into contact with whilst headed on a course of ultimate destruction.’
‘Thanks, Gran. That’s helpful.’
‘Don’t be sarcastic. If I understand things correctly, you still harbour feelings for Roggero. That’s understandable. You need closure. You loved him and he disappeared from your life. Now he’s back and is going to be a part of your future whether you like it or not. You have a child together. There will always be that bond. Logan reminds you of happier times. Times when you were carefree and life was teeming with possibilities. You had no responsibilities. No ties. Seeing him again reminded you of a life you could have had. As for Harvey. You’ve been bringing up a daughter and working full time. Life has been a struggle. You love Raven and she loves you but you’ve been craving something else. You want to love a man and be loved. In walks Harvey. He fits the bill. You think you’re in love. A world of possibilities opens up before you. You can start a new life in New York. You’ll never have to work again unless you want to. You’ll never have to worry about money. But Raven’s not so keen. There’s a spanner in the works. So you come home to persuade her and suddenly you’re back where you began. Roggero’s here. Logan’s here. Harvey isn’t. That’s your problem.’
Severine waited for Jessie to continue but she didn’t.
‘And?’ Evie said, voicing what Severine was thinking.
‘Well surely it’s clear.’ Jessie drank her coffee and smiled. ‘If you really love someone. And I mean enough to build a life with them, you don’t stop loving them the minute they’re not around. You don’t suddenly long for your former lover, or the love that got away. You may think about what you no longer have, but you certainly don’t have a burning desire to make your former lover jealous, or to kiss someone you had a crush on, to do that. And you certainly don’t spend the night tossing and turning and wondering. Yes, I heard everything you said. I was on my way to the lounge but I stopped and listened instead. For heaven’s sake, Severine, you only left Harvey’s side the day before yesterday. Doesn’t that tell you anything? Doesn’t that give you a hint?’
Severine and Evie exchanged glances and Severine shook her head.
‘Oh, what is the matter with you two? It’s as plain as the nose on your face, Severine. You’re not in love with Harvey. Not enough to build a life with him. That’s very sad. It’s incredibly awkward. It’s definitely going to be a problem. But it’s a fact. There’s no getting around it. That’s why you were in such a rush to marry the man. You wanted to get it signed and sealed before you changed your mind.’
‘That’s not true! I love Harvey. I do. I really, really do.’
Jessie shrugged. ‘Unfortunately, Severine, saying it won’t make it so. You can tell yourself that until you’re blue in the face. But you’d be lying. And it won’t change a thing. You care about him, I’m sure you do. But love? True love? The sort of love that lasts a lifetime. No. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can decide who exactly you do love enough to try to build a life with. And I don’t think it takes a genius to work that one out. Now I’m going to tell Molly that I’ll die of starvation if she doesn’t stop gossiping with Logan’s mum and get some breakfast on the table. You sit and think about what I’ve said. I’m sure you’ll be able to work it out in the end.’
‘I think I’m more confused now than I was before,’ Evie said.
‘Imagine how I feel,’ said Severine.
Jessie walked towards the door. ‘Oh. I’ll say one more thing. And this is a clue, Severine, so listen carefully. Before you can love someone else – completely, selflessly, whole-heartedly love someone else, you have got to love yourself.’
Evie gave a hollow laugh. ‘Severine definitely loves herself. No offence, Severine.’
Severine threw Evie a look. ‘None taken.’
Jessie peered at them. ‘Does she? Does she honestly? Only you can answer that one, Severine.’
Chapter Twenty
Luna put a pot of coffee on the kitchen table, a jug of milk, two plates, cutlery and rack of toast before taking a seat opposite her uncle.
‘Is everything all right?’ Mason asked. ‘You seem a little distracted this morning. Do you have a hangover?’
Luna nodded and rubbed her forehead with her hand. ‘A slight one.’
‘And that’s all?’
She met Mason’s look. ‘Of course. Although I’m probably a little tired, too.’
‘Is that why you have forgotten the mugs? Or is there something else troubling you?’
Luna got up and the feet of her chair scraped against the tiled floor. She took two mugs from the shelf and filled them with coffee.
‘Nothing’s troubling me. I couldn’t be happier. I’m here with you. My work is hanging in the newest, trendiest restaurant in Michaelmas Bay and I already have several orders. All my belongings, together with Mum’s sculptures and Dad’s paintings should be arriving any day now from Spain. I’ve made new friends and contacts in just one day. The only downside is this weather. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen rain like this. Oh. I forgot the butter.’
She stood up again and got the butter from the fridge.
‘And marmalade, please.’
‘Right. Marmalade.’
Mason squeezed her hand when she sat down for the third time.
‘I’m aware we haven’t seen much of one another over the years, and that’s entirely my fault. Perhaps, because of that, I don’t know you as well as I think I do, but one thing I do know is that you are just like your mother. Like you, Jasmine was a hopeless liar. She couldn’t hide the truth if her life depended on it. Something’s wrong, Luna. I know it is. If you don’t feel able to tell me, that’s fine. Perhaps Jane could help. Or maybe Evie. Or Juniper. She and her boyfriend Darren only live a couple of doors away. And of course Evie is just over the bridge. Jane’s next door. If you won’t tell me, please tell one of them.’
‘Jane’s the last person I could tell. And Evie and Juniper are friends with him so …’
She blushed and glanced at Mason from beneath her lashes.
‘Him? Did you say, Him? Is this about Mateus? Are you still upset about that scoundrel? No. It can’t be him. Evie and Juniper don’t know him.’
She shook her head. ‘This has nothing to do with Mateus. Although, perhaps in a way it does.’
‘Who then? Ah. I believe the proverbial penny may have dropped. Is this, by any chance, connected to a certain young man who lives next door with his grandmother? A certain young man who seemed to like you, and, if I’m any judge of such things, a man you liked at your first meeting?’
Luna pushed her plate away with the slice of toast she had just buttered sitting discarded in the centre.
‘I thought he liked me. I was wrong. But that’s fine. I don’t want to get involved with a man at this stage in my life, anyway. No matter how perfect he seems. And of course, no man’s perfect. Logan’s no exception. Why should he be?’
‘Did something happen?’
‘Yes. No. Nearly. Then Severine showed up. I can’t believe that woman. I thought she was engaged. And she’s definitely pregnant, although it’s hardly visible at this stage. But even so, to do what she did is unforgivable, isn’t it?’
‘I would need to know what it is she did before I can answer that.’
Luna pulled her plate back towards her, grabbed her knife, and slathered marmalade on her toast.
‘She kissed Logan Dorset. That’s what she did. Full on the lips. Not just a peck on the cheek. A full, and from where I was standing, pretty passionate mouth on mouth kiss.’
Mason looked horrified. ‘She did what? Good heavens! What was the woman thinking?’
Luna let out a derisive laugh. ‘I believe I can tell you precisely what she was thinking.’
‘And Logan? What did Logan do?’
‘He kissed her right back. Passionately, wantonly, desperately. And I definitely know what he was thinking.’
‘Good gracious. Well, that is certainly a surprise. What happened then?’
‘Your guess is as good as mine. I left them to it.’ Luna bit into her toast and pulled a face. ‘This has got marmalade on.’ She tossed it back on to her plate. ‘I don’t like marmalade.’
Mason sighed and took the toast, eating it himself.
‘I think what you need today, is a complete distraction. What can we do in this torrential rain?’
A vision popped into Luna’s head, but it didn’t involve Mason. It involved a boat in Michaelmas Bay, with rain bouncing on the polished wood of the deck, on which two people were standing, their arms wrapped around one another in a passionate embrace and their drenched clothes clinging to their damp skin. One of those people was Luna, the other, a certain restaurateur, who unfortunately was madly in love with someone else.
Chapter Twenty-One
Gossip usually spread like wildfire in the tiny village of Snowflake Cove, so Severine was expecting the worst. She wanted to get away from it if possible for a few hours at least. She and Evie decided to go out after their conversation with Jessie. Severine needed some time to figure things out, but she had never been a fan of doing things alone, and had asked her sister to go with her. On a day like today, with torrential rain, walking on the beach of Snowflake Isle was about as much fun as jumping in a bath of iced water. Neither Evie nor Severine found that prospect appealing. Instead, they were going to catch a bus into Michaelmas Bay and huddle beside a window of one of the seafront cafés, drinking coffee and watching the world go by. Severine ran upstairs and mentioned it to Raven, in case she wanted to go with them, but Raven declared she was staying put and pulled her duvet over her head to emphasise the point.
Blame it on the Moonlight Page 9