The Suicide Princess

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The Suicide Princess Page 15

by Bryan, Anthony


  Jacob was torn over his decision, and while he already knew he was making the right decision, he now knew with certainty that leaving Stephanie was the best thing he could do. He walked to the bedroom and sat at the edge of the bed, holding his cell phone in his hand, waiting for the call from Stephanie, which he was certain would come, needing him to bail her out of jail. He thought to himself, I know that shithead she’s sleeping with isn’t going to get her out, so of course she’ll call me.

  Jacob was angry and even disgusted by Stephanie and what she had done, but for some unexplained reason he still wanted to help her. Whether it was a sign of the love he had for her, or his own selfish desire to be there for her just one last time, he sat patiently waiting for Stephanie’s call.

  The sun was just beginning to dawn on a new morning as Stephanie was being released from jail on her own recognizance. She was escorted from her cell and walked down a long hallway. The generic quality tile floor, white cinder block walls, and bright fluorescent lights gave the jail facility a cold feeling that felt lost and abandoned.

  Stephanie was wearing a jail-issued yellow jumpsuit, white socks, and cheap flip-flops. As she arrived at the Release and Property Return Window, she was given a large plastic bag with her clothes and other belongings.

  “You need to change into your own clothes, and leave the facility’s clothes in the laundry bin on your left. You can keep the shower shoes,” instructed a very butch female deputy.

  Stephanie looked around inquisitively and asked, “Where can I change?”

  “This isn’t Nordstrom’s, darling, and we don’t have fitting rooms. You can change right here.”

  “Right here?”

  The deputy responded, “Ma’am, we’re trying to release you, but if you want to give us a hard time, we can turn you around and take you right back to a cell.”

  “No, I’m sorry. You’re right,” said Stephanie as she began disrobing in front of the deputy.

  Her property, including her purse and cell phone, were returned to her and she was escorted to the jail’s exit. As she walked through the last secured point, the large metal door closed behind her and slammed with a loud bang. Stephanie stood at the main entrance to the jail facility with no idea what she was going to do next.

  Stephanie powered her cell phone on, and her eyes began to tear as she waited for the phone to finish rebooting. As it did, and she saw she had a signal, she contemplated whether she would call Jacob or Derrick. Stephanie knew there was only one person she could turn to for help in absolutely any situation, and she started the call.

  Jacob was still sitting in bed, waiting for the phone call from Stephanie, when his phone alerted to an incoming call. “Hello,” he answered on the first ring.

  “Baby, it’s me,” Stephanie said while crying. “I need you to help me. I don’t even know where to begin…”

  “I already talked to Trooper Shea, and he told me what happened. What do you need from me?”

  “I don’t know where my car is, I don’t know how I’m going to get home, and I have no idea what I’m going to do,” cried Stephanie.

  “Your car is here at the house. Just tell me where you are, and I’ll come get you.”

  Stephanie gratefully stated, “My God, Jacob, thank you. I’m at the Plymouth County Jail. And Jacob, please don’t tell anybody...please!”

  “I don’t know why you wouldn’t want me to say anything, something like this won’t stay a secret for very long. Either way, I’ll be there in a little while,” said Jacob before hanging up the phone.

  Jacob thought in silence as he drove to pick up Stephanie, and arrived to find her sitting on the curb in front of the jail. Even at her worst, she looked adorable in her little shorts and tight T-shirt. She got in the car with neither of them saying a single word to the other. Stephanie spent nearly the entire ride home in complete silence out of fear and humiliation, and Jacob remained lost for words from sheer anger.

  Stephanie looked out of the passenger side window as Jacob drove, and she entered deep thought. Everything suddenly came into focus, and for the first time in a long time, she saw things very clearly. It was like someone had twisted a kaleidoscope, and what was once a distorted confusing image was now clear and beautiful.

  When she needed someone the most, it was Jacob who was there for her without question. Jacob was obviously angry with her, and Stephanie knew their relationship was in trouble, but he was still willing to drop everything to come save her. Stephanie saw, more than ever, that Jacob was the rock in her life. He may not have been the most adventurous, outgoing, or exciting man, but he was stable and safe. He never lured her into doing anything that would be detrimental to her future, and he was always there to build her up or catch her when she fell. Jacob was her shelter from any storm.

  Having no idea Jacob already knew about Derrick, she looked over at him and thought, I can’t believe I almost threw this marriage away. I can’t believe I almost lost Jacob.

  As the drive was nearing its end and they were just minutes from their house, Stephanie finally spoke and asked, “Did you look in my car, Jacob?”

  “I did,” he replied without any sign of emotion.

  Stephanie became extremely nervous because of the clothing she left in her car when she was arrested. “Did you see the outfit I put together to wear for you?” she asked very unconvincingly.

  “For me?” Jacob replied. “If it’s for me, why does it look like it had been worn very recently?”

  “I had to try it on, silly, to see if it still fits,” said Stephanie with a crack in her voice.

  Before Jacob could retort, he turned into their driveway, and Stephanie saw the moving truck Jacob rented. “Why is that there?” she asked.

  Jacob stared straight ahead without removing his hands from the steering wheel or looking at Stephanie. He dug deep for the courage to blurt out what needed to be said, and he replied, “I’m leaving you. I’m moving out, today.”

  “Leaving me? What? I know we’ve had our problems lately, but it’s no reason to ruin our marriage.” She reached her hand to Jacob, placed it on his forearm, and continued, “We can fix this – we can work through it.”

  “Work through what?” Jacob asked. “Let’s just pretend for a minute that I believe you about the skirt and shoes in your car being for me, how can you explain some other man’s belt in your trunk?”

  Stephanie worked up a fake laugh, and answered, “That’s what this is about? That’s not another man’s belt, it’s your belt. I brought a bunch of your old clothes to the Goodwill box, and it must have fallen out of the bag. You honestly don’t remember wearing that belt when we first met?”

  Still cold as an arctic chill, Jacob asked, “Then the parking ticket in your trunk – who were you going to see near Boston Common?”

  Stephanie struggled for a reply and began, “That was from when – it was the night that...” until she was abruptly stopped by Jacob.

  “Stephanie, stop the bullshit. You want to know what this is about?” Jacob retrieved the small digital voice recorder from the car’s center console and pressed play as he said, “This is what it’s about...”

  As the recorder played, Stephanie instantly recognized Derrick’s voice:

  I just have two stringing along right now. One is a little blonde that I’ve been tapping for a while, and she’s starting to get a little on the boring side – kind of reached my end with her. But my most recent one, is a tight little brunette that’s a shit ton of fun.

  Stephanie had the intense feeling of fear that we have all experienced at least once in our lives. The feeling when we were just caught doing something that we know is about to get us in deep, life-altering trouble. She felt the frightening sensation of being caught with nowhere to run, and she had absolutely no idea of what to do next. She had no excuse or explanation, but despite all of that, she wasn’t yet willing to concede to telling the truth.

  “Jacob, it’s not what you think, I was only...”

>   “Stop!” Jacob shouted. “After everything you’ve done, everything you’ve been doing, the very least you could do is show me enough dignity to be honest with me.”

  “Okay, I will. I’ll be honest and tell you the truth about anything you ask me. What do you want to know?”

  He replied, “I already know more than I ever thought I wanted to. All that is left is to hear it directly from you – have you been sleeping with another man?”

  She looked down towards the floor of the car, tears streaming down her face, and struggling to breathe, and she barely answered, “Please don’t leave me.”

  “Answer me!” Jacob demanded. “I want to hear you say it.”

  “Yes,” she answered. “I slept with another man. Just please don’t leave me.”

  “I already left, Stephanie,” said Jacob. “I’m moving everything I want out of the house, today. I don’t really care where you go, but I don’t want you here while I’m doing it. I already opened a new bank account, and I took half of our savings. I want to sell the house and split whatever is left after the sale. After that, we go our separate ways. I think I’m being extremely fair.”

  Stephanie sniffled, “You are, Jacob. I don’t even deserve that.”

  Jacob coldly snapped, “You’re right, you don’t,” before telling Stephanie to get ready for work so he can finish moving.

  Jacob told Stephanie that he would be keeping the Volvo and she could have his car. He then said he wanted to go for a drive, and he asked her to not be there when he returned. Jacob didn’t want Stephanie to be there while he finished moving due to his trepidation that she may convince him to stay. Stephanie reluctantly agreed, but only because she knew she had no room for argument. She knew her marriage was beyond salvageable, and she walked away from the car as Jacob drove off.

  Stephanie looked at Jacob’s soft, gentle face as she got out of what was once her car. His face showed the pain which she had caused him, and it broke her heart to know she had so badly hurt the man who loved her so much. As she looked at Jacob’s face, she knew beyond any shadow of a doubt, she just lost the very best thing that would ever happen to her.

  Stephanie took a shower and did her best to get ready for her day, but the sound of Derrick’s voice on the recorder saying, I just have two stringing along right now. One is a little blonde that I’ve been tapping for a while, resonated over and over within her head. At that moment, Stephanie was not only dealing with the loss of Jacob, she was also facing the reality that Derrick was not the man she had thought he was.

  She stood before the mirror as she got dressed, and she stopped to just look at herself. Making decisions is easy; it’s living with the consequences of our decisions that is hard. This lesson was like a punch to Stephanie’s gut as she had to look at herself in the mirror and try to accept what she had done.

  She slid on a pair of cute jeans, a pink hoodie, and a pair of Converse low-top chucks, and Stephanie left the house to face her day.

  Stephanie called Bill Webber, and much to her relief, his line went to voicemail. “Hi, Bill. It’s me Stephanie,” she started. “I’m not feeling well at all today, so I’m going to stay home and try to get some rest. I’ll be in tomorrow, and I hope you’re not mad.”

  Stephanie never liked driving Jacob’s Jeep, but now, she didn’t have a choice.

  Stephanie drove aimlessly for a short time before she convinced herself to indulge in a bit of retail therapy. Jacob was moving out, and she now had the house all to herself. This meant there was no longer the need to compromise on decorating, and she could do whatever she wanted.

  For as long as she could remember, Stephanie was the “half glass full” kind of girl who always tried to make the best out of any situation. This quality likely rose from her being raised in a broken home by a highly irresponsible mother. She often considered herself to be raised more by her grandmother than her actual mother, but the fact of the matter is, Stephanie primarily raised herself from a very young age. Her neglected childhood taught her several lessons: she learned quite early on that she and only she was responsible for her actions, she learned that only hard work and perseverance would lead to her success, and most importantly, she learned to always try to find something positive in even the worst situations.

  Stephanie aimed her car for the nearest Ikea, and she pressed her foot on the accelerator. Before long, she walked through the entrance and selected a large cart. She opened her purse and removed a credit card from her wallet. Stephanie was never the most responsible person with credit, and Jacob allowed her to have only one card to be used for emergencies only. Jacob’s gone now, she thought, and I can use this card for anything I want.

  Four hours later, Stephanie returned home with a Jeep full of home decorations and a freshly maxed out credit card.

  Stephanie walked into the house to find Jacob was already gone. She walked into her now half-empty home, and the bareness of the rooms reminded her of when she and Jacob first moved in. She reminisced of her and her husband running through the home, playing together like children, and being so excited to start a life together. This was supposed to be the home where they would have started a family, made memories, and grown old together. Now, however, it was just an empty house filled with shattered dreams.

  Stephanie saw that Jacob had cleaned out the Volvo before leaving with it, and the contents from the car were thrown across the living room floor. Stephanie crouched down to the items, and she could only imagine Jacob’s pain as she looked at the plaid skirt, heels, and perhaps worst of all, Derrick’s belt. She picked them, rolling everything in a single ball, and dropped them in the corner of the room.

  She spent the rest of the day re-organizing her home and hanging the new pictures, knick-knacks, and other wall art she purchased. She basically tried to fill her day with anything that would help keep her mind off of everything she had going on in her life. For just one day, Stephanie wanted to be free.

  As the day turned into night, Stephanie was winding down and preparing to get ready for bed. From the master bathroom, she looked to her bedroom as she brushed her teeth, and she saw her empty bed. To look at the bed, and not see Jacob reading while he waited for her to join him, completely negated any value her retail therapy may have added to her day.

  Stephanie heard her phone chime to the tone of an incoming text message. She trotted to her phone and found the message to be from Derrick.

  “Able to sneak out tonight, bad girl?” he asked.

  What an asshole, Stephanie thought as she powered down her phone without responding. She was surprised by how little hurt she was feeling for her inevitable loss of someone who she thought meant so much to her. After hearing the recording of Derrick over and over in her head, Stephanie knew she was finished with him. The only uncertainty she had was whether to sit down and discuss it with him like an adult, or just let him figure it out by changing her number and completely avoiding him.

  Regardless of what was to come, Stephanie was forced to deal with her life in the moment she was currently in. She pulled back the covers and crawled into bed. Even though she was all alone, she still stayed on her side of the mattress, curled up in the blankets as she drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter Ten:

  A Friend in Need

  Stephanie shot up to a seated position and instantly woke up, from the deepest sleep, to a brightly lit room. She looked to see what time it was, and as she saw the alarm clock was missing from Jacob’s nightstand she thought, really Jacob? Even the alarm clock?

  She began a mad dash to get ready for work as her phone powered on. With her hair quickly pulled back in a ponytail, she slid into a pair of gray dress slacks, a light blue, short sleeved button down, and a pair of comfortable black flats. After getting ready in just eleven minutes, she was out the door in record time.

  Stephanie arrived to work, and although she was more than an hour late, given the events of the past couple of days, she was grateful to have even made it at all. After everyth
ing that had happened, the last thing she wanted to do was face Bill Webber, but her thought process was so irrational and disorganized, she was more concerned about being late to work than dealing with her arrest.

  People looked at her strangely as she ran through the lobby of her building trying to make it to her office as quickly as possible. She boarded the elevator and pressed the button for her floor, but the elevator car felt like someone had purposely slowed it down just to screw with her. Of course, the elevator was filled with riders getting off on nearly every floor, and the ascent was slowed even more. When the doors finally slid open on her floor, Stephanie was terrified to go to her office.

  She walked briskly past Webber's office on the way to her own, and she was relieved to see he wasn't there. Maybe he's not in yet, she thought, but unfortunately this hope was dashed when she saw Webber standing in her office as she approached.

  She saw two interns with him, and together they were packing her files from the Hutchinson case into a cardboard box. She rudely asked, “What do you guys think you’re doing?” as she entered the small room.

  Webber exploded, “Who the hell do you think you are asking me a question like that?” He directed the interns out of the office, and as he closed the door behind them, he continued, “Bradford, I put my reputation on the line for you. I put my God damned name on the line to put you as lead on this case, and every step of the way, you’ve gone and done whatever you could to screw it up. A few months ago, I thought you were the future of this office, but now, I don't know what the hell your future even is.”

  “You already know what happened the other night, don’t you?” Stephanie timidly asked.

 

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