The Truest of Words

by Georgina Guthrie

  “That sounds lovely,” I said.

  “Excellent. So, I suppose we’ll see you on Sunday?”

  “Perfect. I can’t wait.”

  “Oh, and this outing is fencepost. We’re surprising Gwen. I hope we can keep the cat in the bag for the next few days.”

  “I’m sure Gwen won’t suspect a thing.”

  “I hope you’re right. Maybe you could tell Daniel we’ll firm up plans later in the week? Oh, and Aubrey?”

  “Yes?”

  “Daniel sounds relaxed and very happy—happier than he has in a long time. I know we have you to thank for that.”

  As I hung up, I could barely contain my euphoria. I was no longer merely being tolerated. I was being accepted. I worked methodically, thinking about Mother’s Day tea at the King Edward Hotel, imagining how the afternoon would play out. The whole family would be there. Julie wouldn’t be able to go, though. Her parents were taking her home on Sunday morning. Did David and Gwen even know about Julie?

  While I was pondering this question and finishing off the invitations with the surname “K,” a young man walked in. A summer-school student perhaps? I rounded my desk and greeted him as he approached the counter.

  “Can I help you?”

  He looked at me searchingly. “Wow, you don’t remember me. I’m crushed, Aubrey.” He put his hand over his heart, regarding me with a puppy dog expression.

  I examined his face for a clue—something that would jog my memory. I suppose there was something vaguely familiar about him, but I couldn’t place him, and though he knew my name, I certainly didn’t know his. He smiled and tapped the counter with his hand.

  “When you were in first year, you were going out with my best friend, Lyle Kennedy. I was one of his housemates. I helped you roll him into bed after he’d had too much to drink a couple of times…”

  My hands rose to my cheeks, a series of vague, uncomfortable memories flooding my mind. “Goodness, you’re right. I’m so sorry! Gosh, um, Terry?” I grimaced. I knew as soon as I spoke that his name wasn’t Terry.

  He shook his head. “Close. Travis.”

  “Of course! Travis…right…”

  I nodded, though frankly, I hadn’t devoted any time to reminiscing about Lyle Kennedy or our short-lived relationship since we’d broken up, and I certainly hadn’t given Travis or any of Lyle’s other roommates a second thought.

  “It’s been ages since I thought about those days. How’ve you been?”

  “Not bad. I graduated last year. Bumming around, to be honest,” he said. “It’s not easy to get a job. I’m getting desperate.”

  “I feel your pain. What about Lyle?”

  “Lyle? He dropped out after first year. Only got two credits. He was put on academic probation so his folks yanked him. He went home to Halifax so they could keep an eye on him. Last I heard he was at Dalhousie University.”

  “Hopefully he pulled everything together at home. He was a decent guy.”

  “He was an awesome guy—when he wasn’t wasted.”

  “Very true.” I laughed. “So, what brings you over here? You taking summer courses?”

  “No, I’m here to see Elaine. She suggested I drop by.”

  “Oh. Sure.” I resisted asking what business he could possibly have with Elaine. As long as I wasn’t the one dealing with her, I didn’t care. “She’s in her office.”

  As Travis made his way around the counter, Elaine pushed the door open wide.

  “There you are,” she said, taking both of his hands in hers. Having never witnessed anything even remotely warm in her demeanor, I almost fell over. “I was expecting you at eleven fifteen. I was wondering what happened to you.”

  “Sorry, traffic was terrible.”

  “Don’t worry. That can’t be helped.”

  Don’t worry? That can’t be helped? He was thirty-five minutes late for a scheduled meeting! I’d been four-and-a-half minutes late for work on Monday, and you’d have thought I’d committed a federal offense.

  “Please, come in.” She ushered Travis into her office and turned to me. “Aubrey you can go. Lock the door on your way out.”

  “But you wanted me to finish the Ls. I’ve almost—”

  “Don’t concern yourself.” She shooed me with her hand. “Gisele can finish it.”

  I gritted my teeth. “Right. Of course. See you on Friday.” I turned to her guest. “Travis, it was nice seeing you again. Sorry I didn’t recognize you at first.”

  “Don’t give it a second thought, Aubrey. Not everyone has a photographic memory,” he said, tapping the side of his head with a sly wink.

  Elaine flashed a smug smile and closed the door in my face. I stared at the knots in the wood in front of me. The woman was a freak show.

  Two hours later I was in my room at Jackman, folding laundry. I hated folding laundry. Daniel probably loved it. Would he organize the laundered clothes according to color or genre? Maybe both?

  I smiled as I thought about his efforts to seem relaxed in the face of my carefree attitude. I’d caught him staring sadly at the chair beside the bed—the “clothes chair” as I was fond of calling it—where I tossed semi-clean clothes. As soon as I was out the door, he probably went into tidy mode, finding a home for all my stray items.

  I returned to my laundry, planning to call him as a reward once I’d finished. This plan was thwarted by an incoming text message.

  Hey, crazy legs! Finished your laundry yet?

  I miss you. -D

  I sat down among the bras and polka-dotted panties.

  Hi, sugar. Folding right now.

  What exactly do you miss? -A

  Lots of things. Canoodling, for example. Smooching. Splooges!

  I REALLY miss splooges. -D

  LOL! Wow, there’s a lot of Os in those words, sailor. -A

  So there are. Multiple Os.

  Tell me, how do you feel about multiple Os? -D

  I find them VERY enjoyable. -A

  I bet you do. Pfft, what am I saying? I KNOW you do.

  May I offer you some enjoyment tonight? -D

  I’d been dreading this moment. I’d wanted to stay at the condo, but Jo had been so excited to see me when I’d swung by after work. She’d made me lunch, helped me lug my laundry downstairs, and immediately started planning what we’d have for dinner. When she beseechingly suggested a movie night, I’d agreed without hesitating. Instead of replying to Daniel with another text, I dialed his number, continuing to fold with my free hand.

  “Hi, my lovely. That’s better. How was work?”

  “Verging on tolerable.”

  “And Elaine?”

  “Completely intolerable. She had her hair pulled into such a tight bun, I swear it was doubling as a facelift. And she threw away Archie, the hanging plant. She said it made the office look sloppy. I’m sad. I loved Archie.”

  “Plants need to be nurtured. I’m guessing she gets along better with inanimate objects. I hear she has a fabulous rapport with Stan.”

  “Who’s Stan?”

  “The front counter.”

  I laughed. He was in a strange mood. “She particularly likes Stan after he’s been Swiffered. By me, of course.”

  “That goes without saying. What else is new? Anything good?”

  “I had nice chat with your dad. He called to ask about Sunday.”

  “Good. I didn’t want to say anything. He told me not to talk to you about Mother’s Day until he’d invited you himself.”

  “I never dreamed he’d buckle this soon.”

  “He must have taken it as a good sign that the earth didn’t careen off its axis when we went away for the weekend. Plus, I don’t think he likes the idea of you not spending time with your own mom on Mother’s Day.”

  “That’s sweet.”

  “He cares about you, you know that, right?”

  “I know.” I flopped onto my pillow and closed my eyes. “Will everyone be tense with me there? I don’t want to ruin your mother’s afternoo
n.”

  “This is what we’ve wanted for weeks—to be a normal couple. I’m thrilled that you’ll be there with my family. So, what’s the plan? Are you coming over later?”

  I hesitated. “Would you be upset if I declined?”

  “I’d be disappointed, but I’ll survive. Mind if I ask why?”

  “Stephen’s gone home, and Jo’s lonely. She’s starting a course next week, but she’s at loose ends right now.”

  “Can we make plans for tomorrow, then? I’d like to take you shopping for an outfit for Sunday.”

  “Daniel, you’re impossible.”

  “And the sooner you accept it, the happier everyone will be.”

  “What’s in it for you?”

  “Ah, poppet, you know me well.” His voice dropped a register, as if he were telling me something top-secret. “There’s a lingerie store at Bayview Village I think we should check out.”

  “More polka-dots?” I looked down at the sea of dotted panties surrounding me.

  “Hmm, maybe we should consider branching out…”

  I laughed. “Meaning?”

  “I don’t know. How do you feel about…stripes?”

  After talking to Daniel, I wandered out to the kitchen. Matt and Sarah were watching a movie. He was staring at the screen, but her eyes were fixed on a spot on the wall about four feet away from the TV. She looked completely detached. It gave me a vague, uneasy feeling.

  “Can I get you guys anything?” I asked.

  Matt paused the movie. “No thanks, Aubs. How about you, Sarah?”

  She snapped to attention as if Matt had clapped his hands in front of her face.

  “Huh? Oh, I’ll grab some water.” She joined me in the kitchen, talking to Matt over her shoulder. “Don’t pause it on my account.”

  Matt shrugged and restarted the movie.

  “I could’ve gotten it for you,” I said, handing Sarah a bottle of water.

  “That’s okay. It’s great of you guys to let me stay. I don’t want you to feel like you have to serve me, too.”

  She leaned against the counter. “So, Matt said you’ve got a new boyfriend, but you don’t talk about him much? Something about jinxing it?”

  “Things are great, but you know Murphy’s Law,” I said, improvising as I went. “When you start telling the world about the guy and bragging about how great everything is, things start to fall apart.”

  “That’s so true,” she said, staring vacantly at the cereal cupboard.

  “Is everything okay?” I whispered, bobbing my head toward the other room. “You know…”

  A smile ghosted across her face, and she lowered her voice. “Things are fine. It’s just…You’re lucky you have this place to escape to when you need a break. Matt’s great, but I guess I wish there was some place I could go sometimes. It’s nothing. Please don’t tell him, okay?”

  “Of course.” I patted her arm and returned to my room. Matt was still sitting on the couch, entranced by his movie, oblivious to his girlfriend’s need for space.

  While I waited for Jo to return from the grocery store, I logged onto my email to send my mom a message about the timing for convocation. I was on the verge of logging off when an email from Daniel arrived in my inbox. I laughed as I looked at the subject line. What on earth was he up to now?

  From: Jung Willman

  To: Miss_V

  Sent: Wed, May 6, 3:26:05 PM

  Subject: When shall you see me write a thing in rhyme?

  Hey gorgeous,

  Let me explain what happens when I miss you. After we hung up, I reorganized my sock drawer and ironed some towels. Then, after rereading our texts from earlier, I was struck with inspiration and had to write the masterpiece below. In lieu of the type of multiple Os I’d prefer to see you enjoy, I hope these suffice this evening…

  Multiple Os

  I know you will most likely think I’m a stooge,

  But I love you so much, oh yes, even your splooge.

  I’m sitting here useless, just lost in my doodles;

  I miss you like crazy, I need some canoodles.

  You’re gorgeous and hot, (but with feet like Nanook);

  Your risotto’s delicious, I love how you cook.

  Your smooches are perfect, “you kiss by the book,”

  And the thought of your boobs, well, I’d kill for a look.

  My mind is so dirty; I’m thinking ’bout spooning,

  (This poem is epic, I bet that you’re swooning.)

  I must go and tidy, and vacuum some too.

  I like the place clean when I’m planning to woo.

  I imagine you’re laughing and thinking “Oh dooood,”

  But I know in my heart that you’re sooo in the mood…

  See the levels of brilliance you inspire? You’re no doubt packing an overnight bag. Poor Joanna! How can she compete? ;) I’m kidding, of course. (Shakespeare is turning in his grave…I can’t believe I couched his glorious words among all those ridiculous ones!)

  Have a nice evening and call me before you go to bed. I love you, crazy legs.

  -D

  xoxoxo

  P.S. I didn’t really reorganize my sock drawer. Just so you know…

  Chapter 4

  Faithful

  You are there follow’d by a faithful shepherd:

  Look upon him, love him; he worships you.

  (As You Like It, Act V, Scene ii)

  I STRODE INTO THE OFFICE on Friday morning feeling powerful, confident, and comfortable in my skin. It’s strange how clothes can entirely alter one’s mindset. Elaine was at the counter, flipping through papers. She glanced at the clock. I knew I was five minutes early, so I swept past her, grinning my stupid face off.

  “Good morning. Beautiful day, isn’t it? What’s on the slate for today?” I stowed my purse under my desk, smiling at her expectantly.

  She narrowed her eyes. She was far too easy to aggravate.

  “That dress is a little short, isn’t it?” she said, assessing my legs with a critical eye.

  “Do you think? Huh, I was sure it was the same length as the one you were wearing on Wednesday,” I said. “And it’s a hard to imagine a dress from Judith and Charles being considered trashy, don’t you think?”

  She gave me another suspicious once-over. “Judith and Charles?”

  “Uh-huh.” I reached for the notes Gisele had left me.

  Elaine’s nostrils flared in annoyance. “Don’t get too comfortable.” She disappeared into her office and returned with ten dollars. “Extra bold, venti.”

  Thank God! I’d been hoping she’d send me out again today.

  I took the money, humming as I left. Half an hour of freedom! I practically kicked up my heels as I dashed outside, taking a giant breath of fresh spring air. Was there any better feeling than enjoying a sunny morning, knowing that in a few hours you’d be off to spend a fabulous few days with the man of your dreams? The weekend lay before me like an undiscovered country I couldn’t wait to explore. All I had to do was get through the next few hours.

  I peered down at my lovely new dress. Daniel had suggested I wear it to work. After telling me how beautiful and self-assured I looked as I stepped out of the dressing room, he’d insisted on buying me both this dress and another one for Sunday’s tea at the King Eddy. I’d hesitated, but in the end, I’d closed my eyes and repeated my new mantra:

  Let Daniel spoil you, let Daniel spoil you…

  And so, at the clothing store, the shoe store, and the lingerie shop, I’d let Daniel spoil the hell out of me. I pondered how I’d show my gratitude. It would involve stripes. Lots and lots of stripes. I would start tonight, and I would show him my gratitude repeatedly.

  Sometimes payback ain’t a bitch.

  Foliage. That’s what greeted me when I arrived back at the office. A giant plant sat on the counter, tendrils hanging everywhere.

  I handed Elaine her coffee. “What’s with the shrub?”

  “There’s a card. Feel free to rea
d it.”

  She glowered at the plant while I rooted around in the leaves for the card.

  Elaine, I hope your first week as dean has gone well. With Aubrey and Gisele at your side, you can’t go wrong. This is something to brighten a stuffy corner. Enjoy!

  Regards, David

  Too frigging funny. First a dig about what great employees Gisele and I were, and then a slam about the tone in the office. She’d have to strap the damn plant to her head if it were to brighten a stuffy corner, since every part of the office was stuffy when she was in it.

  “The man doesn’t know me at all. What a ridiculous gift,” she said snidely.

  Oh, he knows you.

  I almost wanted to call David to thank him for having a bit of fun at her expense. Daniel must have told him about the demise of Archie.

  “You’ll have to water it. I don’t do plants,” she snipped.

  “I’m not sure I’ll be able to,” I said, running my finger along one of the plant’s leafy fronds. “At least not for much longer…”

  “Oh?” She lifted an eyebrow. “Why?”

  Because I’m not the fucking plant whisperer.

  That’s not what I said. What did I say?

  “I’m giving my two weeks’ notice. I’ve decided to take some down time before I start looking for a job. A real job.”

  That’s what I said. And I had no earthly clue where the hell the words had come from.

  “Really?” She smiled, leaning against the counter and crossing her arms. “I’m surprised David didn’t mention this to me.”

  “It’s a recent decision.”

  I made it a minute ago.

  “I’ve done some thinking.”

  About what an odious bitch you are.

  I breathed deeply to prevent what felt like impending heart failure.

  She tapped her nails on the counter. “I’d better make some phone calls to line up a replacement.”

  “I could ask around, see if there’s anyone looking for—”

  “Oh, that won’t be necessary.” Her nose wrinkled as if she’d suddenly encountered an offensive smell. “I can think of several people who’d be qualified.”