The Truest of Words

by Georgina Guthrie

  I had to tell her. She’d seemed blasé about my meeting, but she must have been worried, too. I called her, but she didn’t answer. Rather than leaving a message, I hung up and opted to text her instead, smiling as I typed.

  I am fucking brilliant, poppet.

  You really should bow down before my brilliance.

  Oh, and while you’re down there… ;) -D

  Chapter 16

  Thought and Action

  …the native hue of resolution

  Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,

  And enterprises of great pith and moment

  With this regard their currents turn awry,

  And lose the name of action.

  (Hamlet, Act III, Scene i)

  CUTTING THROUGH THE PATHWAYS leading to the University College courtyard, I looked for somewhere to stop and gather my thoughts while I waited for Aubrey to respond to my message. I surveyed the quad before sitting on a bench facing the classrooms on the other side of the square.

  How many times had I sat in the room on the end, staring out the window so I wouldn’t betray my feelings for Aubrey? There were days when I’d believed I might not make it through the semester in one piece, and now here I was, on this side of those windows, liberated from the constraints of that damn classroom. Was it crazy of me to think myself truly free?

  I don’t know how long I sat there, gazing blindly across the courtyard, before my phone finally rang.

  “Hello there, beautiful.”

  “Hello yourself, handsome. I just got your text. To what do we owe your brilliance this time, and when and where do I get to bow before it?”

  I explained my meeting with Aaron. She groaned when I told her how he’d taunted me about my experiences at Oxford, but when I related the part of the conversation in which we’d discussed my arrogance and reported distaste for her and her in-class opinions, she guffawed.

  “No way!”

  “Apparently, we hated each other. However, we’re getting along better these days. My parents insist on me playing nice because they think highly of you, of course.”

  “Daniel, you didn’t tell him that!”

  “Sure I did. It stopped him in his tracks. You should have heard me in there, Aubrey. I could hardly believe half the things coming out of my mouth.”

  “Maybe that’s because half the things coming out of your mouth weren’t true.” She laughed.

  “Good point. Anyway, it couldn’t have gone better if I’d scripted it.”

  “I hope your ill-will isn’t too deep-seated. Why would you want to date someone you’ve despised for months?”

  “I think I’ll put it down to the changing seasons. One look at your legs in a short dress, and I’m sure any distaste I may have felt for you in the past will immediately seem unwarranted and highly illogical.”

  “How shallow of you, Mr. Grant.”

  “That’s me. I’m not just arrogant, but completely superficial as well.”

  She sighed dramatically. “I’m kind of ashamed of myself. I usually have more refined taste in men.”

  “You can’t be held responsible for your attraction to me. I have the sweetest knees in town.”

  “Can’t argue with that,” she said without missing a beat.

  “So, are you still planning to grab a coffee at ten thirty and head to the Hart House library to write?”

  “Yep.”

  “And you’re still good to meet in the lobby of the Gallery Restaurant at twelve?”

  “Sounds perfect. Hey, sunshine?”

  “Yes?”

  “I was afraid to let myself think about it earlier, but we might actually have this locked up.”

  “I was thinking the same thing before you called.”

  “Really?”

  “Absolutely. I can’t wait to walk across campus holding your hand. I want everyone to know you’re my girl.”

  “That sounds divine. Oh, and good luck with Professor Brown.”

  “I don’t need luck with him.”

  “You don’t?”

  “Not at all. This’ll be child’s play compared to meeting with Aaron. I think I’ll save that good luck wish for after our first date.”

  “I don’t think you’ll need it then, either.” I could practically hear the wink in her voice.

  Martin finally joined me, sliding a cup of coffee across the table.

  “Thanks. Are you sure you’re okay staying here?” I asked him. “I don’t mind going to your office, if you’d prefer—”

  “No, no.” He settled into the chair across from me. “It’s a relief to get out of the cave once in a while.”

  “I suppose it is.” I took a quick look at my phone. If Aubrey was going to grab a coffee before heading upstairs, she’d be arriving any time now.

  “You know, I received a phone call from Aaron about half an hour ago,” Martin said.

  My stomach lurched. “He called you?”

  “He said you two had quite a heart-to-heart this morning.”

  “Frankly, he raked me over the coals. It was kind of unpleasant.”

  “He was being thorough, Daniel.”

  I grimaced. “Oh, he was thorough. He went through those evaluations with a fine-toothed comb.”

  Martin leaned across the table. “I read those evaluations, son. There was nothing surprising in there. You’ve got some work ahead of you, but that’s to be expected. Treating everyone equitably, making yourself approachable but not breeding familiarity, trying to overcome personality conflicts, maintaining authority without excessive superiority—you must know that all goes with the territory.”

  “I guess. The good news is he agreed to assign me to your first year Shakespeare course.”

  “I confess, I wheedled that out of him.” Martin smiled slyly. “I’m thrilled. I hope you are too.”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Good.” He tapped the table beside my hand. “Now, how are things going with your paper? The last time we talked, you were feeling unfocussed. Any movement?”

  My thesis was proving to be a constant source of frustration. I’d hit a wall and couldn’t seem to forge ahead.

  “Life’s been turbulent. It’s difficult to concentrate when everything’s upside down. I find myself getting too lost in my thoughts sometimes.”

  “I don’t mean to pry, Daniel, but you aren’t still suffering the fallout of the nasty episode at Oxford?”

  “Occasionally I catch myself thinking people are looking at me and wondering about what happened. Aaron even brought it up this morning.”

  “The way I see it, you had a successful semester. Try to put your past behind you.”

  “Easier said than done, sir. I wish I could turn back time. If only I’d never met that girl.”

  “That sort of thinking is a waste of energy. Focus your efforts on the here and now. Work on your paper in earnest. Try to get something accomplished. You’ll feel much better.”

  “I’ve been trying to work through Hamlet. I’m not getting very far.”

  “Ahh. And what’s your difficulty with the young prince?”

  “I keep thinking I should be able to do something with his constant inner examination—all his talk of dreams and death and the references to shadows and mirrors. Unfortunately, I get sidetracked and start thinking about my own life.”

  Martin mulled this over.

  “Introspection in and of itself isn’t enough. We can look inward until the cows come home, but if a man fails to integrate the different experiences he’s had, then he’s nowhere. The hand wringing and the ‘why me’ mentality won’t get Hamlet anywhere as far as Jung is concerned. Inaction is crippling. The less you do, the less you find yourself able to get done, if that makes sense.”

  “Martin, are you really talking about Hamlet?”

  He took a quiet sip of his coffee, a playful smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I believe you just answered that question yourself.”

  I smirked and stared down at
my cup.

  “Keep plugging away. Explore something else and revisit Hamlet when you’re in a better frame of mind.”

  I’d have explained that I’d already abandoned Hamlet for the better part of a year and was just now coming back to it, but I was sidetracked by Aubrey’s arrival in the coffee shop. Finally! And she looked gorgeous in a short flowery sundress with thin straps. Her hair hung loose and curly around her face. Martin obviously noticed my zoned out expression and looked over his shoulder to see what I was staring at.

  “Look at that,” he said, clearly pleased to see her. “Miss Price. Lovely young lady, and so bright.” He paused. “Pretty girl, too, wouldn’t you say?”

  We watched her order a coffee, and when Martin turned around again, I tried to set my face in a neutral expression.

  “I suppose so. Strong-minded, though,” I said. “We got into quite a few debates during seminars. She’s got firm opinions. Doesn’t like to be challenged.”

  “Sounds like you two had an interesting semester.”

  “You could say that.” I shook my head and worked on my second Academy Award-winning performance of the day. “I started to wonder if she was contradicting me just to get a rise out of me. I have to give her credit—she started some great tutorial debates.”

  Professor Brown drained the rest of his coffee and smiled knowingly.

  “Sounds like my Marianne. Always playing the devil’s advocate. Loves to get my goat.” He raised an eyebrow. “Delightful spending time with people who are your intellectual equal, wouldn’t you say? Wishy-washy people are so tiresome.”

  “That sounds like something my grandmother would say.”

  “Your grandmother is a wise woman.”

  I smiled, watching Aubrey at the cash register. Her legs looked amazing in that dress, to say nothing of her cleavage. I forced myself to stop imagining what she wasn’t wearing underneath.

  As she crossed to the exit leading to the Hart House corridor, Martin held up his hand and called her name. Her eyes widened, and she stopped in her tracks. Panic. But panic that might have appeared like surprise to the casual observer.

  Perfect.

  “Miss Price,” Martin said, beckoning her over. “How lovely to see you.”

  “Professor Brown. Good to see you.” She pulled her backpack higher on her shoulder and smiled at me cautiously. “Daniel, how are you?”

  I returned her smile, trying to radiate calm vibes.

  “I’m well, thanks.”

  “What brings you here?” Martin asked her.

  “I needed a break from residence. I thought I’d go up to the library and get some writing done. I’m doing some freelance work for a local magazine,” she said.

  “Isn’t that marvelous!” Martin said. “I told you she was a brilliant writer, Daniel. You were far too hard on her.”

  I cleared my throat, feigning embarrassment.

  Aubrey shrugged. “I think Daniel’s high expectations made me try harder.”

  “With excellent results, wouldn’t you say? Your final grade was impressive,” Martin said.

  She reddened and glanced at me self-consciously again. I congratulated myself for not warning her that Martin and I would be here this morning. Her reactions were entirely genuine.

  She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “Well, I should go…”

  “Of course, don’t let us keep you. It was lovely seeing you. Best of luck with the writing.”

  She gave me a sheepish wave and headed for the door. As she disappeared through it, Martin shook his head.

  “Wonderful young lady.”

  “Yes.”

  I pretended to think for a second and then leapt out of my chair. “Actually, Martin, would you excuse me for a second?”

  “Certainly.”

  I bolted out the door, catching Aubrey as she was heading up the stairs at the end of the corridor.

  “Miss Price?” I called out.

  She turned and rolled her eyes. “Daniel, I almost had heart failure in there!”

  “I’m sorry. I kind of contrived it that we’d bump into you.”

  “Kind of?”

  “Relax, you were perfect. I’m going back in and telling him we’re having lunch.”

  She examined my face. “Are you sure?”

  “Listen, Martin’s in there singing your praises, and you look gorgeous. I believe I just saw you as a beautiful young woman for the first time, right before Martin’s eyes. I simply had to run out here and ask you to join me for lunch.” I leaned in a little closer. “After all, we have to mend some fences, right? Overcome this extreme dislike we have for one another…”

  She sighed and looked over my shoulder.

  “Trust me? I’ll see you upstairs at noon,” I said.

  “You’re a little too good at this scheming, you know that?”

  “All for a good cause.” I winked and returned to the coffee shop where I reclaimed my seat.

  “Everything all right?” Martin asked.

  “Yes, fine. Great, actually. I’m…Well, I just asked Miss Price if she’d join me for lunch today.” I rubbed my whiskers, trying my best to look shell-shocked, as if I couldn’t believe what I’d just done.

  “That’s splendid.”

  “Not inappropriate?”

  “Really, Daniel?” he asked, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

  “Given everything…You know…”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  He waved off my concern with a flick of his hand—a small but significant gesture that ultimately endorsed my “pursuit” of his former student.

  “Might I make one small suggestion?” he added.

  “Of course.”

  He smiled. “I think I’d use her first name, if I were you.”

  At five minutes past twelve, I was pacing in the Gallery Restaurant lobby. How could Aubrey be late when she was already in the building? When she arrived, her hair freshly brushed and her lips glossy, my annoyance evaporated instantly. I smiled, admiring the Tiffany necklace resting above her cleavage.

  “Sorry I’m late,” she said. “I wanted to freshen up, and I needed a few minutes to breathe.”

  The hostess checked the reservation book and led us to a table overlooking the Great Hall. The restaurant was busy and wide open; there was nowhere to hide. It didn’t matter, though, because we didn’t have to hide. I thought my heart might burst from the sheer relief of it all.

  I held Aubrey’s gaze across the table. “This is it.”

  “It’s nice,” she said, peering out the windows at the Great Hall below.

  “I’m not talking about the restaurant.”

  Her eyes flickered across mine before sweeping over the surrounding tables again.

  “I know, I’m just trying not to freak out,” she said quietly. “My heart is pounding.”

  “Mine too.”

  She looked at me worriedly. “Are you okay?”

  “Don’t worry. It’s the good kind of pounding.”

  “The good kind of pounding, huh?”

  I laughed. I hadn’t meant to be suggestive.

  “Not the best kind of pounding, but a good kind all the same.” She shifted uneasily. We were so accustomed to being on high alert on campus, we didn’t even know how to let our guards down. “Let’s both try to relax and enjoy this. We’re officially not doing anything wrong,” I said.

  “Okay, I’ll try.”

  She scanned the menu while I perused the wine list. As far as I was concerned, we were celebrating. It had to be done. “Would you prefer white or red, poppet?”

  “You know wine goes to my head,” she said. “Somehow, I feel like I ought to keep my wits about me today.”

  “Wits?” I waved my hand dismissively. “Can’t stand wits. Never have had any use for them.”

  “Well, then, wine it is,” she said, twirling her hair around her finger and looking up at me from under her lashes.

  I groaned and shifted in my seat. It had
been a week since we’d made love. Did she realize she was torturing me?

  “You’re gorgeous, you know that? I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found a woman who’s beautiful and brilliant.”

  “I don’t know about beautiful, but I do feel kind of brilliant.” She smiled shyly. “I got my marks this morning, Daniel. I did well.”

  “How well?”

  “A ninety-three-percent average.” She took a deep breath. “I made the dean’s list. I received an invitation to a reception at Old Vic before the graduation ceremony.”

  “I’m so proud of you. I guess it wouldn’t be appropriate to leap across the table and give you a giant congratulatory kiss?”

  “Probably not.”

  I reached over to squeeze her hand. “You realize I don’t know a single person in here, and no one’s paying us an iota of attention anyway.”

  “I know. But I’m enjoying this first date thing. Role playing appeals to my kinky side.”

  I leaned across the table and lowered my voice. “Wait…You have a kinky side?”

  She laughed, but as her eyes drifted over my shoulder, her smile rapidly faded and the color drained from her face.

  Chapter 17

  The Blood Burns

  When the blood burns, how prodigal the soul

  Lends the tongue vows…

  (Hamlet, Act I, Scene iii)

  I FOLLOWED HER ANXIOUS GAZE, and wouldn’t you know it—there, standing at the hostess stand, was my father.

  He absently scanned the room as the hostess led him through the restaurant, but inevitably his eyes landed on us. He stopped, said a few quiet words to the hostess, and made his way over. Aubrey gave him a rueful look as he stepped up beside my chair.

  “This is a surprise,” he said, incapable of hiding the grimness behind his smile. He lowered his voice. “I thought we’d agreed you’d wait until after Aubrey’s convocation to do this publicly.”

  “I know, Dad, but we—”

  “And it had to be here and today of all days? Do you have any idea who I’m meeting for lunch?”