by Samie Sands
However, it’s focusing on this that causes me to miss out on something vital. Unfortunately Jake must be distracted too, because by the time we pick up on the squelching, shuffling, and moaning, it’s almost too late. There are seven or eight infected beasts that are almost right upon us.
I take off running, moving faster than I’ve ever gone before. I didn’t realise my legs had so much power in them, which just shows that adrenaline really can cause you to do crazy things. Jake is just ahead of me, but he keeps turning around to check I’m all right. Suddenly my breaths start getting shorter and shorter, and my body begins to feel heavy. I become aware that I can’t keep doing this for too much longer. Luckily the infected are so slow, which gives me a minute to make a decision.
My eyes fixate upon a tree that isn’t too far in the distance. My instincts tell me that I’ll be safe if I climb up it. As Jake is still going strong, showing no sign of lagging, I make the snap choice to just go for it. I pull myself up, and once I’m on a steady branch, too high up for anything to grab me, I call out his name. I know that noise isn’t exactly great in this situation, but I can’t really see how it can get much worse. Jake turns around to see me and I let out a sigh of relief and motion for him to carry on; at least he knows I’m safe. That’s all I wanted to do.
But then he doubles back around and starts running to where I am. What is he doing? I wave my arms and shake my head at him. No, that’s not what I wanted, he needs to save himself. I’m fine where I am, we can sort out a reunion later. He’s just needlessly dashing straight back into danger now. He waves his axe out in front of him, trying to knock a few infected out of the way as he gets closer. They’re starting to surround the tree, the smell of my freshly cleaned skin drawing them in.
He struggles to get past them, fighting his way in. I don’t want this, any of it. I want him to look after himself. I’m biting down on my nails hard, to prevent me from bursting into tears. This is terrible. This is exactly why I didn’t want him to come back to get me. I call out, telling him to go as the infected start to claw at him, pulling on his clothes and scratching his skin. I dangle down my hand, trying to grab him, to help him up.
He reaches out to me, but just as his fingers touch mine, one seems to come from nowhere and chomps down on his neck. He lets out a scream, his mouth forming an ‘o’ shape, and he drifts out of my grip.
A few of them pile on top of him, pulling him to the ground. I can hear his flesh ripping as they tear him to shreds. His organs are pulled out from his stomach and I can see them eating his intestines. He looks up at me, and I can see the agony and panic in his eyes, but I can’t do anything. Much as I want to, it’s too late. I hope he understands that, and can see the desperation in my eyes as his life slips away.
Chapter
Twenty-Five
I can’t move. I can’t speak. I don’t even feel anything, just numb shock. Jake is dead. If I look down I can see his remains, his hair, his clothes, his bones, his blood. So I keep looking forward. Jake, who only last night I was imagining my future with. The man who I’ve lusted after for months at work, which I’ve only just really gotten to know. He’s just gone.
The worst part of it all is the fact that I’ve failed. My one and only mission was to get him to his son. Now he’ll never know what has happened to them, and they’ll never know what happened to him. No, I can’t let that happen. I’m going to have to track them down and let them know. I’ll tell them he was absolutely desperate to find them, that he risked his life to do so. They need to know how much he did, and that he died heroically. They have to find out. I don’t want them left thinking that he just vanished without caring. He deserves better than that.
The only problem is, I can’t even move. I’m certain the second I step down from this tree, I’ll die. I already knew I couldn’t do this alone, and now here I am, with no one left to protect me and only myself to rely on. I’m absolutely screwed.
Once the infected finished demolishing Jake, they hung around under the tree for a while, feebly trying to reach for me. I kept silent and unmoving, but I know they could still smell me. Some were distracted by a passing animal—it turns out they are eating them—just another little snack for the things that have ruined my life. Eventually a fire broke out in a barn in the next field. I have no idea what caused it, or even what’s going on over there. I don’t care. I’m just glad the chaos drew the rest of them away.
I’m aware that if I’m going to move, now is the time. If I wait much longer the infected will be back, and I might not get so lucky with a distraction again. I can get this much through my foggy brain; it’s just hard to be productive when you’re deep within the grieving process. I don’t really want to end up stuck here, starving to death until I drop down into the willing arms of the infected.
Maybe if I just focus on one small task at a time, I might be able to get away from here. That’s what Jake would do. I really don’t think he would want me to just sit here waiting to be rescued by someone who is never coming. He’s the sort of person who would want me to carry on without him. I really should honour that…
Suddenly something just snaps inside me. A blinding blackout rage. Luckily, I don’t scream in temper, the frustration just builds and builds until a tear bursts from my eye. How dare this infection be unleashed on the human race? If someone has cooked it up, they deserve to die and go to hell. If the government is behind all this, then they’re more evil than I could have ever imagined. I wonder if it has all gone to plan. If this is what they actually wanted to happen. Look at all these people suffering because of AM13. Look at all the lives it has torn apart. Look at everyone it’s killed. If this really was to do with population control, then it’s a fucked up way to achieve it.
God, why did we have to come out here into this? Why didn’t we just keep our conversations and plans hypothetical? Everyone talks the big talk all the time about things they’re going to do—quit their jobs, travel the world, break up with someone—but no one ever acts on it. It’s just talk, and that’s exactly the level we should have stayed at. No wonder no one ever does anything, we did and look what’s happened. It’s gone more wrong than I could have ever anticipated.
I use this wave of emotion and do what I need to do. I leap down from the tree, filled with a determination. As I land, I spot Jake’s bag, still intact, on the ground. I grab it, knowing that he has supplies I might need, and if I’m really going to do this, then I need to be smart about it. As I swing the bag upwards, a familiar glint catches my eye. The gun. I almost weep with the realisation that Jake could have done something to save himself, if only he’d had the gun out, in his hand.
My hand trembles as I pull it out to hold myself. It’s not much use to me, I have no idea how to use the damn thing, but after witnessing Jake’s needless death, I’d probably better keep it within my grasp anyway.
Sighing deeply and trying to push away all of the emotions currently consuming me, I force myself to start walking. I move in the opposite direction to the barn, still having absolutely no interest in it. The only thing I do hope is that it kills the bastards that murdered Jake.
I keep alongside the road like we had done before, trying to pretend everything is the same, that I’m not more alone than I’ve ever been before in my whole life. I can feel the adrenaline rush from earlier petering out and being replaced by fear. I don’t know how to be decisive, how to figure out where to go and where to sleep. But I’m going to have to. I can’t get stuck inside my head, not anymore. Now there’s only me, I’m going to have to come to terms with that.
***
The darkness is starting to set in and I’m so, so frightened. All I’ve done is move methodically, but soon it’s going to be too dark and cold for me to carry on. Plus, I’m utterly exhausted—almost to the point where I’m struggling to see. I need to make some sort of choice; I need to find somewhere to rest up, and the sooner, the better. I’ve passed a few houses, but I’ve been too scared to approach them
. I’m just not cut out for this sort of life.
Despite knowing that I need to rest, I carry on. I keep going until I can walk no more and the pain in my legs is excruciating. I have to stop now; the choice is no longer my own.
I come across a small woodland area with big warning signs at the entrance. My fuzzy, woolly brain is telling me to avoid the place at all costs, but something is drawing me in. I think it’s the possibility that it might actually be safe. The signs are clearly more to do with health and safety than anything else, and since the infected seem to stick to more populated areas, some crazy logic is telling me that this will actually be the best place to go.
I try to creep through the trees as quietly as possible, just to be careful. But the twigs keep snapping and the leaves won’t stop rustling, making me stand out like a sore thumb. I know that it’s very likely I’ll hear any infected before I see them, but I can’t stop worrying that they’ll hear me too.
It’s almost pitch-black now, and I’m finally regretting taking too long to do this. If I’d had Michelle or Jake here, they wouldn’t have let this happen. Neither of them would have made this mistake, which is why it’s so crazy that I’m still here and those two aren’t.
Suddenly I spot a light out in the distance, which must belong to some kind of building. My heart starts racing again at the thought of a possible four walls surrounding me. I take a few deep breaths, trying to decide if this is going to be a good thing or not. What are the chances of me finding something bad in there? I don’t know, but logically I’m going to have to check it out. There’s no point in me avoiding somewhere that could provide me with a warmer, safer night, just because I’m afraid.
As I get closer, I realise that it’s quite a big building, almost like the clothing warehouse we stayed at. What sort of business would be based out here? Especially with all of those signs surrounding the place—it’s weird. Maybe it’s drugs. It must be something illegal. That doesn’t put me off though. To be honest, after everything I’ve been through, sleeping in a drug den is the least of my worries.
The door swings open easily—almost too easily. I’m very wary, certain that someone or something is about to jump out at me. I grip the gun tightly, holding it upright, waiting for the clarity on how to use it to flood through me, but nothing happens.
Just ahead of me is another door, leading into the main room of the building I guess. I step forward towards it, quieter than I’ve ever moved before. I know I don’t really have to do this part, that I could just sleep in this entrance area, but I’d never be able to stop. I couldn’t relax and shut my eyes, not knowing what was on the other side of that door.
The light streams through as I push the door open slowly. I stand back to observe the scene in front of me, acutely aware of how loud my breathing is. Nothing immediately happens, so I edge forward, popping my head around the door.
The sight that greets me makes it feel like my heart has stopped forever.
Chapter
Twenty-Six
Infected. Everywhere I look. But I don’t panic; it isn’t like they can get to me. They’re all in cages, like lab rats.
When my senses start to return, all I want to do is run, fast. I want to get as far away from here as possible and to try and forget I ever laid eyes on this place. I don’t, though, because the larger part of me needs to know what the hell is going on here. It must be the news researcher in me—maybe I was more destined for that job than I first believed. My fingertips are tingling, my whole body fizzing with anticipation. This place is important, I can just feel it. Maybe it’s a testing centre, to try and find a cure. Or maybe it’s where the virus was created, where this chaos all began. I remember hearing that AM13 started in Mexico somewhere, but that might not be true. Someone could have leaked that information to divert attention away from the real story, or someone could have made it up. No one knew anything about the virus, so who knows what’s the truth?
I wander around the room, without even feeling my feet touch the ground. I can sense the eyes of the infected boring into me as if I’m the forbidden fruit—something that they’re desperate to consume, but can’t. A couple of them try to reach for me, snarling and snapping as their rotting arms flail in my direction. But most of them are in too much of a horrid state to even move.
I can’t help but examine the ones that are so thin; they’re not a lot more than bones. My eyes keep fixating on the ones that don’t have all their body parts—it’s as if I’m fascinated by how revolting they are. These used to be people. They used to have a rich history, lives, loves…now they’ve been reduced to this. Rotting away, festering in a filthy cage. It’s difficult to swallow.
As I look at each one, I wonder if they were bitten, or given the infection in this weird lab. It’s disgusting enough to look like something as awful as this could happen here. No wonder the Government jumped on the idea of the Lockdown—assuming they knew about this place, of course. If it had ever been discovered, there would have been crazy riots.
I feel sick to my stomach, but more than that I feel incredibly sad. These things might be cannibalistic monsters now, but they used to be ordinary people. They used to be just like myself, Jake, and Michelle. This could be any one of us in here. The worst thing is they have been spared the right to a dignified death. Something made them this way, they didn’t choose it. And now, rather than killing them and putting them out of their misery, they’re stuck in this state, trapped in cages—miserable and alone.
No one deserves this. No one.
I turn to leave. I can’t even think about staying anywhere near this place. This is what hell must look like, and I don’t want any part of it. I wish I was brave enough to do the right thing, but even with the gun clasped tightly between my white, strained knuckles, I’m not.
As I reach the door, eager to get some fresh air in my lungs, I hear a voice. A real, human voice. I shake my head, trying to rid the sound from my brain. I’m clearly hearing things—all the humans here are now those things, and if there was someone alive, then they’d likely work here. That’s the type of person that would sooner put a bullet in my head than speak to me. Just one person knowing about this hell puts it at risk of being exposed.
“Hey!” the panicked, garbled voice yells out again.
I spin around—just to check. The voice sounds just like Jake, and even though I know that’s impossible because he’s gone, it’s too hard to ignore.
“Hey, lady. Turn around, help me, please.” The voice carries on speaking, becoming increasingly insistent. My heart is fluttering along with the butterflies in my stomach as I scan the room. The unease trickles through my veins and spreads all over my body, continuing to consume me, until I spot him. He’s right at the back of the room, partially hidden by other cages. His arm is waving frantically, proving to me that, while he’s just as trapped as the other infected, he’s also very much alive.
I race over to him, excited that I can actually find out the truth about this place. As much as I really want to get out of here, if I can discover more, then I absolutely will. As I reach his side, it strikes me that he is caged, which means he must be at some stage of the infection. It may be recent, but I still need to be really careful.
“Erm…hi?” I eventually whisper to him. As I gaze into his eyes, I can clearly see that he’s desperately pleading with me. His face is so human, so full of life. I allow my stare to drop down, covering his whole body, and I can’t instantly spot any bites, but I’m still not convinced that he isn’t infected.
He starts talking quickly, without taking a break to breathe. It’s as if he thinks a conversation will prevent me leaving. “Oh my goodness, I’m so glad to see you, to see a friendly face. I’m so afraid, this is awful! I’ve been here for such a long time. I mean, it wasn’t just me, not at first. I was with three other people, but when we got caught, they all got killed on sight.” I raise my eyebrow at him, feeling oddly suspicious. “I was bundled into a van and bought here and I’ve b
een here for a few weeks, I’m not exactly sure how long and…”
“Why weren’t you killed?” I can’t help but interrupt; something about his story doesn’t quite add up. I don’t know if it’s just because he’s talking so quickly, trying to piece his entire story together, or if it’s something more.
“I don’t know why, I’ve been asking myself that question ever since I got here. I’ve been asking the scientists that work here that question, but no one will talk to me. They treat me as if I don’t even exist.” He looks down at the ground, beneath his crouched, uncomfortable-looking body. “Maybe I’m just a test subject.”
I nod for a few seconds, allowing that to sink in. It’s one thing to think that, but to hear it is something else entirely. “For what?” I finally whisper. “What do you think you’re a test subject for?” I’m hoping he may have overheard something.
“I really don’t know. I hope they’re looking for a cure.” He smiles weakly at me; the anxiety in his eyes is evident. He is silent for a few moments before he really starts begging. “Please, please help me. Please let me out of here, I’m going crazy. This is a nightmare; they’re going to end up killing me.” I stay silent, still unsure. Something in my gut is telling me this is all wrong. “I’ll do anything for you, I promise. I’ll take you to wherever you’re going. I’ll help you get food and water, whatever you want. Please. I can’t stand this uncertainty, the waiting. I’m going insane. I just want my freedom back. You have to understand. Please? Have some humanity.”
I really don’t know what to do. I have no idea who this man is, or what he’s capable of. I also don’t know for sure that he doesn’t have the virus. Plus, the thought of another man accompanying me feels like an odd betrayal to Jake’s memory, which is a strange reaction I didn’t expect to feel. But the thought of company, of someone else to rely on, someone to help me, to protect me…it feels like the best offer I’ve ever heard. I’ve only been a few hours alone, and I’m already struggling terribly.