Not Alone

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Not Alone Page 17

by Liz Bradford


  “Wow, you don’t give anyone the benefit of the doubt, do you?”

  “Just keeping it real.”

  He had always loved that about her. “I’m not really sure why I asked, but I do know I want kids now. And it’s not just because of Callie or missing her infancy, although I am sad I missed it. But while I was working with Chad, I got to know his family, too, and realized what a blessing children can be, how great a family can be. And I started really longing for that in my own life.” He looked up at her and met her eyes; they were bright with hope, and a sweet smile stretched across her face. He reached over and put his hand on the back of her neck and drew her to his side and asked, “Now, I’m new to this whole thing; which of these contraptions is what she needs? Why are there so many stinking options? This is crazy.”

  Becca leaned in to him and chuckled, “She just needs one of these booster seats.”

  “Oh good, $25 is a lot better than $270. That’s outrageous!”

  “Just put ‘baby’ on it and all of a sudden the price increases like 500 percent. It really is ridiculous.”

  Jared bought the seat, and they headed to Amy’s house. They went right in, and Amy came around the corner. The kids were nowhere in sight. “Where’s Callie?” Becca asked.

  “Wow, not even a ‘hi, sis,’” Amy teased. “The girls are upstairs in Tabitha’s room.” Becca wasted no time running up the stairs. Jared waited downstairs.

  “Hey,” he said to Amy. “Thanks for watching Callie all weekend.”

  “Not a problem. I’m sorry your weekend didn’t turn out well.”

  “Me too.”

  “How is Becca holding up?” Amy asked with worry for her sister etched into her face.

  “She’s all right. Took it kind of rough this morning, but I kept the station from calling her and told her myself when I went to get her to go to the crime scene. I’m glad I was able to be there for her.”

  “Good. I’m glad you were with her, too. I have to say I’m really glad you are back in her life. I always did think you were good for her.”

  Jared smiled at Amy’s observation. He was glad he still had her approval even after everything that had happened. “So, no hard feelings over all that happened?”

  “No, Jared, if Becca can forgive you, so can I. And she forgave you years ago.”

  Callie appeared at the top of the stairs, “Daddy!” she said and then ran down the stairs. He held his arms open for her and she jumped from four stairs up and into his arms. He loved this little girl more than life itself. He couldn’t believe how quickly she had stolen his heart. Becca came down the stairs as Jared held Callie.

  “You guys look beat, and I’m guessing you ate fast food all weekend. Do you want to stay for dinner and have a home-cooked meal without the hassle?”

  Jared loved the idea but looked to Becca for her opinion. They exchanged a look that communicated they both liked the idea. They looked back at Amy and in unison said, “Definitely!”

  “Okay great. You guys relax a little, and I’m going to start dinner soon. Tom should be home shortly.”

  Jared, still holding Callie, followed Becca to the couch. They all plopped down, and he looked Callie in the eye and asked, “So how was your weekend? We really missed you.”

  “Missed you, too. We had pizza and watched a movie and ate popcorn.”

  “Sounds like fun.” Jared asked Callie a few more questions about her weekend, but she didn’t want to sit with them for very long and got down to play with some dolls across the room. Jared and Becca just sat reclining on the couch for a while, both so tired it hurt. They watched Callie play, refreshed by the innocence and life she possessed.

  After a while Jared’s focus shifted to the beautiful woman sitting on the couch next to him. The knees of her gray dress pants still showed the mud she had knelt in next to Samantha’s body that morning. Her hair had long ago been pulled up into a ponytail that was now falling out. Her suit coat had been left in the car and her shirt was now untucked and wrinkled. Every last inch of her showed her weariness, but he had never seen a more beautiful creature.

  With great stealth he reached across the couch and poked her in her side. She hated when he did that, but the rise it got out of her had always been worth it. This time she just wiggled, but he watched as her lips turned upward. She didn’t look at him; instead she slouched down a little more on the couch and closed her eyes. He poked her again. This time her nose wrinkled in a cross between displeasure and amusement. He poked her again. She turned toward him, grabbing his hand with one hand and reached across and gave him a playful smack on his chest with the other. He laughed and just held her hand lacing his fingers between hers. Jared looked her in the eye and smiled. Becca smiled in return and squeezed his hand.

  It wasn’t long before they heard Tom come in through the garage, so they went and joined him and Amy in the kitchen.

  “Hey, guys. Good to see you,” Tom greeted them. “You guys staying for dinner?”

  “We are,” Jared said as he shook Tom’s hand.

  “Good. We’ve wanted to have you over since you got into town and after the weekend you two have had…”

  “Thanks, Tom.”

  Becca said to Amy, “Is there anything we can help you with?”

  “Nope, got it all covered, but would love to chat while I work if you guys want to hang out in here with me,” Amy replied.

  “Sure.” Becca leaned her back against the counter and crossed arms. Jared nonchalantly put his hand on the counter behind her and began rubbing his thumb on the small of her back.

  “So, tell me how you two are doing?” Amy asked.

  Jared let Becca reply, “I’m hanging in there.”

  “No, that’s not what I mean. Of course, I am concerned about how you are doing, Becca, but I want to know about the two of you, together.”

  Jared watched as Becca’s cheeks flushed a little. She looked up at him as if she was evaluating how they were doing. “Well, as partners on the job, I feel as if we are falling right back into sync with one another. Do you think so, Jared?”

  “I would have to agree. It’s been way more natural than I would have thought it could be. We still work really well together.”

  “That’s good to hear,” Amy said, “so how about personally? Have you figured out what you are doing, where you are going as a couple?”

  They looked at each other again, neither sure of how to answer. Becca finally said, “It’s only been two weeks, Amy. We’re trying to figure it out but haven’t really talked about it like that.”

  “I know, two weeks isn’t that long, but I see how Jared is stroking your back with his thumb as you are standing there.”

  “How did you know he was doing that?” Becca said in shock.

  “Really? You didn’t think it was obvious? Plus, there is a stainless-steel toaster behind you; I could see the reflection,” she said with a wink.

  They all laughed, and Jared gave up his sly ways of touching Becca and went for a bolder approach. He leaned up against the counter next to her and wrapped his arm around her, resting his hand on her waist. She shifted to lean against him more than the counter.

  Amy shook her head and smiled at them. “But seriously, guys, you might want to talk about it. I think it is good to take things slowly, but you also have a five-year-old daughter, who is a girly-girl who loves princesses and fairy tales. This weekend while Callie and Tabby were playing with their Barbie princesses I heard Callie say, ‘Look, Mommy and Daddy are getting married.’ So, you guys need to be extra careful to guard her heart in case that doesn’t happen. Make sense?”

  He hadn’t thought about it all from Callie’s perspective, and by the look on Becca’s face, she hadn’t thought of it in those terms either. They would need to talk about it sooner rather than later.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  After dinner Jared and Tom went off to the basement to play a game of pool, just like they used to. The kids were playing in the family room, an
d once Becca and Amy had cleaned up the dinner dishes and put the leftovers away, they sat down at the table.

  “Becca, tell me how you are doing with Jared?”

  “Good. Really good. I was so scared at first, not knowing what to expect, but we have reconnected so well.”

  Amy leaned forward with a silly grin. “Have you guys kissed?”

  “No, we haven’t.”

  “Wow, I’m impressed.”

  “Ha.” Becca’s mind trailed off to the distant memory of the when she and Jared first kissed.

  Two weeks, she had only been on the job for two weeks. At the end of a very long, grueling day in which shots had been fired at a gang member who had pulled a gun on them, Jared, Becca, and several other cops from their unit had gone to the local bar that all the cops in their precinct frequented. And they drank and drank. She and Jared had hung around after everyone else had left and had a few more drinks. They were so drunk that the bartender cut them both off and called them a cab.

  It had all started the first time she saw Jared, and her heart had skipped a beat. A new cop on her first job out of the academy, and she was partnered with the tall, dark, and handsome Jared Johnson. She immediately caught some evil glares from other young women working in the precinct, but that didn’t faze her one bit. She had a good feeling about this partnership from the start. Then she found herself drinking with him, alone and stumbling out to the curb with him. They helped hold each other up as they exited the bar and as they stood by the curb waiting for the cab, Jared drew her into his arms and kissed her full on the lips. It was a deep, passionate kiss that she hadn’t expected, but had left her entire body tingling. She kissed him right back. The cab pulled up, and they both climbed in and gave the cabby both of their addresses. But as the cabby drove, Jared slipped his arm around her, and she turned towards him. After a few moments of staring each other down, they kissed again and again. Until Becca, in her drunken state, told the cabby to forgo her address.

  Back at Jared’s little apartment, that would one day become their apartment, clothes were discarded like breadcrumbs from the door to the bed. The next morning, Becca woke up disoriented, not remembering at first where she was, with one of the worst hangovers ever. She looked over and saw the beautiful man sleeping in the bed next to her. Then she remembered it all, and despite the pleasure that swelled in her, shame came along with it. They had only been partners for two weeks, two weeks…

  The hangover came on full force then, and quickly grabbing the blanket to wrap around herself she ran to the bathroom. Jared showed up a moment later and helped hold her hair. Never before had a guy done that for her. She had been quite the partier in college and had spent plenty of mornings hugging the porcelain, but never had a guy come and held her hair. She knew in that instant that something was very different about Jared Johnson.

  However, she didn’t talk to him about anything other than specific things at work that had to be addressed for an entire week after they had slept together. And it took her several weeks to agree to hang out with him outside of work, but he was beyond patient with her, and the rest was history.

  Becca relayed the story to Amy, who said, “Wow. So, going two weeks without kissing really is impressive, huh? How come you never told me that story before? I thought your first time with him was after he took you to the carnival?”

  “I never told anyone. I was so ashamed that I had slept with my partner after only two weeks on the job that I couldn’t even admit to myself that it happened. Now, after all we’ve been through, it seems funny to have kept it a secret. And the time after the carnival was our first ‘not drunk off our butts’ time.”

  The sisters laughed. What a different world they had lived in ten years ago! Such worldly lives that had no concept of God’s will for sex and marriage. “Well, Becca, you aren’t going to be sleeping together after two weeks this time around, are you?”

  “No. That can’t happen unless we get married. I can’t believe I actually really want to get married now.”

  “Quite the game changer, isn’t it? That whole sex is for marriage thing?”

  “For sure. And it’s not that I didn’t want to get married back then, it just wasn’t a priority. And don’t get me wrong it’s not about sex. I long for the commitment that comes with marriage.”

  “I know. I can’t imagine it will be easy to wait, though.”

  “No, it definitely won’t be, already hasn’t been. Pray for us.”

  “Always.”

  Becca didn’t know what she would do without her sister and built-in best friend. In spite of how much they fought as kids, they had been very close. But they became even closer when they were in high school and their dad was killed.

  By the time the guys came up from the basement it was already almost seven o’clock. Jared looked at Becca then then pointed at his watch, and she nodded. He went and told Callie it was time to leave while she hugged Amy. “Amy, thank you for letting Callie stay here all weekend. I really appreciate it. It helps so much to not have to worry about her when I’m dealing with awful things on the job.”

  “Not a problem.”

  “Oh, and when you drop Grayson off at school tomorrow, could you let them know that Callie will be late? The Captain said we could sleep in tomorrow, and I plan on it.”

  “Absolutely!”

  Becca left with Callie and Jared. Once at home they played a quick game of Callie’s choosing and then sent Callie up to get ready for bed. Jared and Becca both went up to tuck her in. After prayers were said she begged for another book, which Jared gave into without hesitation. “All right, goodnight Callie. I love you, Sweetheart. Jared, I’ll see you downstairs.” She leaned across Jared and gave Callie a kiss. Jared’s closeness caused her heart to beat a little faster. But she ignored the stirring and went downstairs.

  Becca set out to straighten the kitchen while she waited for Jared to come back down. She had been home so little in the last four days that dishes were stacked in the sink, so she washed them. Jared wasn’t downstairs yet, so she threw a load of towels that were sitting on the laundry room floor into the wash and then fixed her tea. He still hadn’t come down. It had been a good twenty minutes, so Becca headed upstairs to cut the reading off. Callie needed to go to sleep, and she wanted time alone with Jared.

  As she turned the corner from the stairs into Callie’s room she was all ready to lay down the law, but what she saw melted her heart instead. Jared had fallen asleep, book in his lap and Callie asleep against him. He was just as tired as she was. She walked over and stood next to him, debating if she should wake him. She gingerly stroked his hair out of his face. As she reached over to garb a throw blanket from the end of Callie’s bed to cover him, she felt his hand caress her back. Leaving the blanket that she hadn’t quite grabbed a hold of, she turned to face Jared.

  “You were going to let me sleep here?” he whispered.

  “I didn’t want to wake you.”

  He smiled sweetly at her as he stood up and eased Callie down into her bed and covered her up. They quietly exited the room.

  “I suppose you’d like me to leave so you can get some sleep?”

  “No, I don’t want you to leave. Honestly, I’d really like some time to have you to myself.” His smile grew, and she knew instantly that he felt the same way. “Let’s go downstairs.”

  He grabbed her hand and said, “Let’s.”

  She grabbed her tea off the counter and followed Jared to the couch in the family room. He sat towards the center of the couch and put his arm across the back inviting her to sit close. Back in the day when he would sit like that after a long day, she would snuggle in close to him draping her legs across his lap. Tonight, she sat down close to him, but left her legs down with her feet on the floor. He shook his head in playful disapproval and slid his free arm under her knees and lifted her legs across his. She smiled and snuggled in leaning her head on his shoulder.

  “I think Amy is right, Becca, we probably should
talk about where we are and where we are headed, especially since we have Callie to think about.”

  Becca lifted her head and looked him in the face. While she knew he was right, part of her wanted to just see where things went on their own. But Callie needed them to be intentional about their relationship. She nodded.

  “Becca, I know what I want, and I believe I’ve made my intentions clear. I want to win your heart again and make you my wife.” He said it, wife. Why was she having a hard time believing it, though?

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really. Why do you doubt that?”

  “I don’t know. Even after all this time apart?”

  “Becca, especially after all this time apart. I know what I want now better than I ever did before. I wasn’t going to tell you this, but I think I need to.” He paused, and she watched him intently as he tried to formulate his words.

  “Tell me what?” she asked after his pause extended longer than she was comfortable with.

  “I was planning to ask you to marry me before Carl died.”

  She sat back a little bit, shocked by his confession. “You were?”

  “Yes. I loved you so much and knew that I didn’t want to spend my life with anyone else, so it made sense. But then Carl died and the plan for my proposal died with him. I didn’t know how to ask you without his help, and I couldn’t think straight at all. When I came back I was just going to ask you without any elaborate plan, but I found our apartment empty. I tried to call you, but your phone rang under the bed. Why did you leave your phone anyway? Did you really not want me to be able to find you?”

  Is that what he thought? The hurt that filled his eyes broke her heart. “No, Jared!” she said putting her hands on his chest. “I didn’t leave it on purpose. I was in New Mexico before I realized I didn’t have it. I almost turned around to go get it, but I had already been driving for over eight hours.”

  “So, it wasn’t that you didn’t want me to find you?”

 

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