by Liz Bradford
“Not at all.” She raised her hands to his face stroking the stubble that was growing. He leaned his forehead forward to meet hers. “I’m so sorry you thought that, Jared. And I’m sorry I gave up on you so quickly that I didn’t even try to reach you with my new phone.” He encompassed her in his arms and held her so tight she could hardly breathe, but she held him just as snugly. Slowly they loosened their grip on each other. Becca knew she needed to give him a clue as to what she wanted, but was she sure what that was? Could she get past her fear and embrace what she wanted?
“Becca, do you know what you want? It’s okay if you don’t.”
“I think I do, but there is this wall of fear that I can’t get past.”
“What are you afraid of? That I’ll leave again? Because I can tell you, that will not happen.”
“I’m not sure. I think that I’ve held up this wall in my heart that has kept me from getting close to anyone for so long that now even though you are here, the one person I wanted here more than anyone; it won’t budge.”
“Is there anything I can do to help you not be afraid?”
“I don’t know. How can I not be afraid of losing you again? And not that you’d leave. After what happened to Carl… And my dad. Jared, I wouldn’t be able to bear it if you were killed right in front of me like my dad.” She drew in a shaky breath. The memory of the bank robber putting a gun to her dad’s head still threatened to send her into a flashback, even almost twenty years later.
Jared rubbed her back. He knew the intensity in which the flashbacks had come in the past. “Unfortunately, I can’t promise that will never happen, but I do know you have to trust God with my safety.”
“I know. I guess just give me a little time. I never stopped loving you, Jared. But I want to be sure this will work.”
“You doubt that it will?”
“Not really. Oh, I don’t know. I’m failing at so many things right now; I don’t want to fail with you too.”
“What are you failing at?” he asked his eyes narrow with concern.
“This case. I can’t catch the guy. He’s smarter than me, and Samantha is dead because I couldn’t stop him.”
“Becca,” he took an authoritative tone, “It is NOT your fault that Samantha is dead. This scumbag is the only one that holds that guilt.”
Jared’s phone buzzed on the coffee table, but his gaze didn’t leave Becca.
“You can see who it is.”
He smiled and reached for his phone. His eyes widened.
“Who is it?”
“Caleb. I haven’t seen or talked to him since last Tuesday.”
“Tuesday? I know we’ve been busy, but you live in the same house. Was he working extra?”
“That’s just the thing. He said he had the whole weekend off.”
“That’s strange. I must say, I may have had my secrets, but that man has his own fair share.”
“So I’m sensing.”
Jared replied to Caleb’s text, and silence fell between them.
Becca snuggled against Jared’s chest, and sorrow flooded her heart again. Tears started rolling down her cheeks. She was exhausted and that wasn’t helping anything. Jared’s large hands wiped away the tears. They sat there holding one another until the both fell asleep.
Becca had no idea what time it was when Jared carried her upstairs and laid her in bed. She was so tired that she didn’t care that she was still in her dress pants and dress shirt. He pulled the covers up over her and kissed her temple. “I love you, Becca,” he whispered.
She felt a smile creep onto her lips and opened her eyes. Grabbing his hand as he was turning to leave, she said, “I love you too, Jared.”
He smiled and left.
Becca nodded back off to sleep and didn’t wake again until morning when she felt Callie crawl into bed with her. They both fell back to sleep for a few more hours.
Jared rubbed the back of his neck. Tension was high in the conference room on Thursday afternoon. They had nothing to work with, a big fat zero. The Captain was being laid back about their hours this week, allowing them to not roll into the office until nine. Everyone was looking a little bit more rested having slept in most days. Despite having caught up on sleep, Becca still looked fried, and it worried Jared. He was pretty sure he was overreacting. He loved her so much, and all he wanted to do was sweep her off her feet. Having to focus on this awful case instead frustrated him. Drawing the line between work and play was more difficult than ever for him as he couldn’t get his mind off Becca, and it wasn’t helping that she kept walking back and forth in front of him or leaning over the table, giving him a nice view of her back side. Oh, he was in trouble. Hopefully she would agree to marry him before too long. It would have to be a short engagement. Everyone was going to think they were crazy for getting married as fast as he wanted, but he knew there was no time to waste.
“Earth to Jared!” Becca was trying to get his attention. He snapped out of his thoughts and focused on her face.
“Yes? Sorry.” He watched as she chuckled and shook her head.
“Apparently, you don’t have anything to add, so never mind.” He couldn’t believe he had let his mind drift so badly that he had missed what they had been talking about.
“Sorry,” he apologized again.
“Don’t worry about it. We’re done. It’s time to go.” She looked back at Jamison and Miller. “Captain all but ordered us to take comp-time tomorrow morning, but he’d still like us to clock a few hours tomorrow afternoon. Okay?”
“Sounds good to me,” Jamison said. “See you all after lunch tomorrow.”
“Bye, guys,” Miller said as he left the room with Jamison.
Once they had left the room Becca turned to him with her hands on her hips and scrutinized his face. “Now tell me, Detective Johnson, what was so distracting that you weren’t listening to what I had to say?”
“Do you really have to ask that question?” he asked with a flirtatious grin.
She smiled and shook her head at him again rolling her eyes, then turned and walked away. But she stopped before reaching the door. She turned around and said, “Want to go to the park with Callie and me this evening?”
“Would love to.”
After picking up Callie and going back to Becca’s house, they sat down to eat the simple dinner Becca made them. As they ate Jared’s phone rang. Since it was his brother the ladies gave him permission to answer it.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Jared,” Caleb’s voice came across the line.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“My car won’t start. I need to cash in that favor you owe me. I must have left my lights on because my battery has run down. Was wondering if you could come give me a jump. I’m at the fire station.”
“Sure. I’ll be there in a bit.” He hung up and turned to Becca. “I’ll have to meet you ladies at the park. I have to go rescue my baby brother, but it shouldn’t take long.”
“Okay, we’ll see you there then. You know which park?”
“Orchard Park down the street, right?”
“Yep.”
The temptation rose to kiss her before he left, but he didn’t want their second first kiss to be so flippant as a “Goodbye, see you in a bit, Hun” kiss. Instead he squeezed her shoulder and ruffled Callie’s hair as he headed for the door.
He found his brother leaning up against his car with the hood open playing on his phone.
“Hey, Jared, thanks for coming. I really appreciate it. I hope I didn’t take you away from Rebecca and Callie.”
Jared appreciated how well his brother was taking the fact that he stole his girlfriend, “Well, actually you did. We were finishing up dinner and were about to head to the park.”
“Sorry, man. This will be quick, and then you can rejoin them.”
“That’s what I’m planning.”
They hooked up the cars and got Caleb’s engine going without any trouble.
Before they parted ways,
Jared said, “While I don’t mind helping you at all, I’m curious as to why a station full of firefighters couldn’t help you out?”
“Well, I confess I had an ulterior motive. I wanted to talk to you about something, and thought I’d take advantage of the opportunity to have your attention.”
“Okay, what’s up, Caleb?”
“This may sound strange, but I’ve found myself with a heavy burden to pray for you and Rebecca lately. And it’s not about your relationship as one might think, although I’ve been praying for that, too.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem. But I’ve felt burdened to pray for her safety. I know from watching the news that you guys are on that serial murder case. I don’t know any of the details, but Jared, could Rebecca be a target?”
Jared grew uneasy, “She does fit the profile way more than I am comfortable with. I noticed right away. She doesn’t seem to think she fits, but… she is a brunette, athletic, single mom, in her 30’s.” He could tell by the look on Caleb’s face that he had said the very thing Caleb had hoped he wouldn’t.
“Well, I will keep praying. I know you will do your best to keep her safe.”
“You better believe it. Thank you for praying and for letting me know.”
“Of course.”
“Oh, I wanted to ask you something…” He hesitated. He didn’t want to pry into his brother’s life, but it was so strange that he had been MIA. “What was going on this last weekend? I know I was barely home, but even when I was, you weren’t.”
Caleb shut his eyes. “Well, not many people know this, but I help out down at the crisis pregnancy center.”
“Really? How’d that start?”
“It’s a long story for another time, but last Wednesday the director was in a car accident, so I filled in for her. So, I was down there for crazy hours, partly on my own accord, since I had promised her that I’d organize the supplies and figured I do it while I was there.”
“You really are an all-around great guy.”
“Don’t be fooled. That’s just God’s grace at work.”
After leaving Caleb, Jared headed to the park to meet Becca and Callie. Now he was worried about the fact that they were alone there without him. He needed to be with them all the time now. Caleb obviously thought his burden to pray for Becca was significant. Heavenly Father, what is going on? Please keep Becca safe. We found you and now we’ve found each other again. Please don’t take her away from me. Give us direction in this case; help us to have a break through soon. Bring this killer to justice, Lord.
He couldn’t get to the park fast enough. Once he arrived and parked, he took a deep breath to compose himself as he hopped out of his truck. The last thing he wanted to do was worry Becca; he would need to talk to her about what Caleb said, but not at the park. He got out and went over to the play area. The pounding of his heart eased when he saw Becca and Callie. Becca was talking to a couple of parents. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He dismissed it as paranoia as there was nothing about the man that should lead him to suspect him of any ill will. He came up to the playground opposite of where Becca was, so he said hi to Callie first and then waved to Becca. He then played with Callie for a few minutes before wandering over to where Becca was.
“Hey, Becca,” he said as he approached Becca and the man she was talking to. The blonde woman who had been there a moment ago had stepped away to help her child.
“Hey, this is Stuart. Stuart, this is Jared.”
Jared extended his hand and said, “Nice to meet you.”
“Indeed,” Stuart replied but didn’t shake Jared’s hand. “Well, I should be going. Freddy, time to go.” A young boy, probably about eight years old, wandered off the playground and joined his dad, and the two of them left. Jared continued to feel uneasy as he watched them leave.
“We’re out of here too, Rebecca.” The blonde approached them. “You must be Jared.” She extended her hand to him.
He shook it. “I am. Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise. We’re going to lose containment if we don’t leave now, so I’ll see you guys around.” The woman picked her little one up and called for her older child.
“Bye, Amber.”
Jared waved and then sat on the bench next to Becca and wrapped his arm around her.
“So, you rescued Caleb?”
“I did. He is now off and running. Well, his car is running anyway.”
She chuckled and playfully batted his chest. His heart soared.
Becca leaned into him and watched Callie go up and down the slides and climb all over the place. There were a few moments where Callie made Jared incredibly nervous, and a couple times he almost jumped up to stop her, but Becca quickly put her hand on his leg and told him she was fine.
As it was starting to get dark Callie ran over and said, “Daddy, will you push me on the swings?”
“Of course, Princess, for a few minutes, then it’ll be time to leave.”
“Okay.”
Jared stood up and grabbed Becca’s hand with one of his and Callie’s with the other. He wasn’t about to leave Becca on the opposite side of the park as it was getting dark, so he dragged her along. Thankfully she didn’t fight him and came and sat on one of the swings as he pushed Callie.
Once they were back at Becca’s house and had put Callie in bed, Becca changed into something more comfortable. Jared decided then that he was going to have to start bringing a change of clothes over, so he could be more comfortable too. Not that his Dockers or suit pants weren’t comfortable, but he’d much rather be in a pair of jeans, jogging pants, or basketball shorts while sitting around. He ditched his button up and his belt, and that helped a little.
He was leaning on the breakfast-bar side of the island checking his email on his phone when Becca came back downstairs. Looking up at her in her pajama pants and a baggy t-shirt over her sleep tank made his heart skip a beat. He knew the baggy t-shirt was not her choice, but an attempt at modesty for him, to help protect him, and her, from temptation, but he wasn’t sure a baggy t-shirt was going to help any at this point. Who were they kidding? He knew what she looked like underneath it… Stop it, Jared!
“Hey, since we don’t have to go in tomorrow morning I was thinking a movie might be nice. What do you think?” she asked.
“Sounds good. You have any popcorn?”
“Of course! What good is a movie without popcorn?” She smiled at him causing his heart to beat a bit faster.
He watched her as she went into the kitchen and reached up into the cabinet above the fridge to get the popcorn popper. She couldn’t quite reach it so he went around and stood behind her. He reached up and retrieved it for her.
“Thanks.” She winked at him and slipped out of his arms to get the kernels from the pantry. He leaned up against the island and watched her as she got their snack started.
As soon as it was running he reached across the kitchen and grabbed her by the hips and spun her around to face him as he pulled her over against his body. The look she met him with and the way she shyly bit her lip made it impossible to resist her any longer. Raking his fingers into her hair, he turned her face upward, but hesitated for a moment as if waiting for her approval. She gave him a little nod which surprised him. He leaned down and kissed her full on the mouth. This first kiss was dramatically different than their first kiss nearly eleven years ago. Their original first kiss had been a drunken, lustful kiss, but this one, while still very passionate, was tender and filled with love rather than lust.
His heart thundered at the sweet taste of her lips. The sound of the popcorn popping echoed like the fireworks exploding in his entire body as his lips caressed hers. He could feel her pulse racing just like his and her breathing had quickened. Regrettably, and thankfully, the popcorn finished, forcing them to pull away from one another.
With goofy grins they grabbed some sodas and the popcorn and went to the family room. Becca’s grin took up her entire face, and he was
pretty sure his face looked equally ridiculous. They settled close to one another on the couch and found a movie worth watching.
It felt so good to have Becca in his arms again. Even as the movie ended neither of them moved, they sat enjoying having the other near. After sitting in silence for quite a while, Jared asked softly, “Becca, can I call you my girlfriend?” he felt like a teenager again.
She perked up and turned to face him, “Yes, Jared, I would be honored to be your girlfriend.” Her smile was so big that it caused tears to well up in her eyes.
“I love you, Becca Palmer.”
“I love you, too, Jared Johnson.”
She leaned forward and gave him a sweet, innocent kiss and then hopped up off the couch and took the bowl and cups to the kitchen. He smiled as he watched her almost skip to the kitchen. He turned the TV off and followed her to the kitchen. He came around behind her as she was rinsing the dishes and wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her hair and neck and held her as she finished the dishes. He didn’t let go as she reached for a towel to dry her hands. She then turned in his arms and looked up into his face. She was still grinning. “So, Jared…”
“So, what?” he asked when she didn’t say anything more.
“I have no idea what I was going to say.” They both laughed.
He pulled her across the kitchen, so he could lean against the counter and she could lean against him as they talked.
“Becca,” he said his face turning more serious, “how’s the fear factor doing?”
“Today? The fear is minimal,” she said with a smile and watery eyes.
“Yeah?” he asked. She nodded. “I’m glad to hear that.” He pulled her in closer and hugged her. Although the conversation he had had with Caleb earlier had been forgotten for most of the evening, it came back to him now. He didn’t want to say anything now, but fear rose in his heart now as he held her there in the kitchen. Lord, please keep her safe. Please.
“Well, I should probably aim towards bed, Jared,” Becca said.
“True.” He leaned down and kissed her. She pulled away from him and headed for the door. He compulsively went around and checked all her windows and doors on the first floor.