Chapter 16
It was almost midnight by the time I forced myself to get off the couch in Collin's room and head to my own. It was only 7pm in New York, so I shouldn't have been tired, but I hadn't had much sleep the night before, so my eyes were getting heavy. I was so tired that I forgot for a second that somewhere in the last few hours, Collin and I had agreed to get married. My stomach clinched just thinking about it.
Here I was, about to leave his room and go to mine, and somehow feeling incomplete or unsettled about it. We had discussed all sorts of wedding options, but neither of us had told our families, and that, combined with my exhaustion, sort of gave me the feeling that I had made everything up.
"I'll call my dad and see if we could do it at his friend's house," I said, when Collin walked me to the door. We had talked about trying to have our little impromptu wedding there, but mostly I was just bringing it up to make sure Collin was prepared for me to call my family and let them in on what we decided.
"You should call him," he said, pinching my side. "He'll need to start making plans. It's coming up."
The question that was on the forefront of my mind was, what if they won't come? But I didn't ask that. I just smiled at him like I was confident my parents would support this decision, which I was not. I was terrified to tell them what we had just decided, but the idea of not marrying Collin was absolutely more terrifying than dealing with their reaction.
"What?" he whispered, noticing that I was in deep thought.
I grinned. "Nothin'."
He reached out and gave a little tug to the front of my shirt, pulling me toward him. "Come back right when you wake up," he said.
"First thing," I promised, kissing his cheek.
He pulled me into his arms using a hand around my back. "Night."
"Night," I said.
And just like that, he let go, and I turned and walked away. I went into my room feeling numb and discombobulated. I hadn't been in there since before I left for lunch that day, and so much happened since then that it felt like it had been three days. I hadn't quite had my daily regimen of caffeine, and to top it off, I needed a shower. I was exhausted and somewhat overwhelmed as I meandered into my quiet room. I turned on the television so that I wouldn't feel so alone. I took a shower and climbed into bed, hoping and assuming that I would fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
It didn't happen that way.
I lay there till 2am, feeling unable to turn off my brain. It was only 9 o'clock in New York, so I decided to call my parents, hoping that telling them my big news would help me sleep.
"Is everything okay?" were the first words out of my mom's mouth.
"Fine," I said. "Dublin's awesome. It's so beautiful over here. So many stones."
"I saw that picture you posted on your Facebook," she said. "Looks like that gentleman made it over there."
"Collin," I said.
"Uh-huh."
"That's why I'm calling," I said.
"Why?"
"Because I'm deciding, I decided to marry him. We're gonna get married. We're getting married."
My mom stayed silent for a few seconds.
"Soon," I added.
She let out a sharp laugh like she thought I was clearly joking.
"Really, mom. That's why I'm calling you. I was gonna see if Dad could talk to those friends of his, the Steiners, to see if we could maybe do the wedding at their place. Something small. I met some people today who showed me pictures of it, and it's amazing."
"Sarah Lynn!" My mom's voice pierced into my ear in a sharp and shrill tone.
"What, mom?" I asked, feeling injured at how frantic she sounded.
"I do not appreciate you calling me like this, young lady. It's hard enough that you're all the way over there on the other side of the earth. The last thing I need is to worry about you getting drunk while you're traveling alone. What time is it there, young lady? People can take advantage of you."
"One, I haven't been drinking, Mom. Two, I'm not traveling alone, I'm with Collin. The guy I'm marrying. That's why I called."
"You can't be serious," she said after a short silence.
"I am."
Another pause.
"Well, no," she said impassively.
"No what?" I asked. "There was no yes-or-no question."
"No, you're not doing that. Don't be ridiculous, Sarah. You come from an important family."
"What does that mean?" I asked, laughing. "Collin's dad's a doctor, and Collin's got a—he's successful, Mom. I don't even feel the need to defend that. He's extremely successful."
"It doesn't matter how successful he is. I've never even met him, Sarah Lynn, and you've only known him for—"
"We're doing it in like ten or twelve days," I said, cutting her off. "I'm a grown woman, Mom, and I'm getting married. I would love your help and your blessing, and I'd love for you to be here, but I'm—"
"Absolutely not young lady!" she said with utter scorn. "Your father told me that you were gonna go get drunk in a pub and come home married, and I laughed. I laughed, Sarah. I laughed because it was a joke! Your father was joking, and we both had a good laugh."
"Well, maybe he said it because he knows how much I like Collin."
"He doesn't know anything about Collin, because he's never met him!"
I could not stop tears from flowing out of my eyes. I was exhausted and prone to crying anyway, but my mother's relentless disapproval put me over-the-top. Hot tears ran down my cheeks. I was silent as they fell. I knew if I spoke, my voice would come out high-pitched and barely there, so I stayed quiet.
"Get some rest and call me in the morning when you come to your senses, Sarah."
"I don't want to hang up right now, Mom, because you don't think I'm serious about this, and I am."
"I can hear that you're serious, honey, but I also know that it is a mistake." She said the word mistake with contempt, pronouncing every syllable with emphasis.
"Are you saying you won't come?"
She scoffed. "Won't come?" she asked. "Does it surprise you that I'm not going to just stop my life and run halfway across the world to witness my daughter go all haywire on me?"
"Haywire? Really?"
"What did you think I would say, Sarah? Sounds great, why don't you go ahead and marry this guy I've never met before in my life."
I was so upset that I found it difficult to breathe—like there was a stiff wall in my throat blocking me from sucking in or breathing out. Try as I might, I could not stop my face from contorting with tears—frustrated, angry, hurt tears.
I held the phone in front of me and pressed the button to disconnect while my mother was still talking on the other end. I stared at the phone with my heart beating like crazy.
How badly I wish I could erase that entire conversation and try it again. Maybe I had just brought it up the wrong way. Maybe a different approach would have helped. I was scared to tell them, but I really did think they would get over it and learn to see it my way. I honestly assumed our conversation would end with them narrowing down a date and asking about flight arrangements. I was intimidated, but I never expected my mom to be so impassive or rude about it.
It hurt. I would be lying if I said I didn't want my parents approval, and it hurt really bad that my mom was so against my plans. I wondered what my dad was thinking, and I briefly considered calling him before deciding that wouldn't be a good idea.
My emotions were swirling around like crazy when a text came through from my mom.
Mom: "I think we got disconnected. Call me back if you need to, honey, but I think you just need some rest from all the jetlag. Everything's gonna be fine once you sleep it off."
I almost text her back, but I couldn't decide on anything to say. It was hard to think through the tears. How could what I thought had been the best day ever turn into this?
I tried to assure myself everything would be fine and that I was just delirious, but I felt a sense of dread at my Mom's disapprov
al. I was sure that she had talked to my dad, and by now, it was a terrible idea to him as well.
I cried from frustration because I had been so excited about marrying Collin, and now it was tainted with this drama. I felt alone and desperate. I had the key to get into Collin's room. It was sitting on the nightstand, and I stared at it. In that moment, I felt desperate for his touch. I just wanted to feel his arms around me.
I used the bed sheets to wipe the tears from my face before grabbing a few of my things to head for the door. It was only after I had his door open that it hit me that I should probably feel bad about going into his room unannounced. I closed the door quietly behind me but stayed still and quiet as I pulled my phone out to text him from his own living room.
I was typing a text to him that told him I was coming to his room when I heard his deep voice pierce through the darkness. I gasped and took a step back, trying to focus on him.
"You okay?" he asked, for the second time.
"Yeah, I was just texting to tell you I was coming over." I spoke in a soft voice. "I'm fine. It's fine. I just wanted to come over here to talk to you for a minute—"
I felt overwhelmed, so I looked down, putting my fingertips to my forehead in an effort to shield my face. Collin came forward and took me into his arms with no hesitation at all. It was exactly what I wanted to happen. He had on pajama pants, but he was shirtless and I felt the warmth of his body surrounding me.
He had thick, muscular arms and a broad chest, and when I was in proximity with it like that, it was easy not to give a flying flip what my parents said. The thought of my parents made a wave of anxiousness hit me, and I let out a helpless sigh.
Collin held me tightly, running a comforting hand down my back. "What happened?"
I paused for a second. "My mom refused to take me seriously about getting married in Ireland," I said. "I probably shouldn't have called her at two in the morning, but I did, and she said I was crazy—she thought I was drunk."
"We don't have to do it this fast," he said easily.
It sounded so logical coming from him, but it sent a pain through my heart.
Collin put his hands on the sides of my face, forcing me to look at him since I hadn't the whole time I'd been in there. I shyly made eye contact, and he smiled sweetly at me.
"Don't cry," he whispered, using a thumb to wipe at the top of my cheek. "Don't," he repeated when another tear fell from my eyes. "Listen, baby girl, the situation's still very much under control." He pulled me into his arms, and I let the side of my face fall onto his chest. He used a hand to hold me there. "You have to forgive them, remember?" he asked, his deep voice sounding even deeper since my ear was against his chest.
I nodded that I knew I needed to forgive them.
"No really," he said. "She's just trying to be a good mom by telling you this isn't a good idea."
"Yeah, but she's wrong," I said. "And now she's gonna miss out, or cause drama, or both."
"Forgiveness, Sarah. Not just for her, but for you. It'll help you think straight. Think about when we have a little girl, and one day she grows up. Wouldn't you feel a little weird if our little girl called you from Ireland and said she was marrying a guy you'd never even met? It'd be hard to hear even if he was an amazing young entrepreneur."
I giggled and shook my head before leaning up to place a kiss on his neck, right below his jaw.
"The bad part is that after everything, I still want to do it. I want to go ahead with it whether they approve of it or not. Do your parents approve?"
He shrugged. "I figured I'd call them tomorrow, but I know they'll be happy. I've never done anything like this before, so they'll know I'm serious."
"Well, I've never done anything like this before either," I said, assuming that's what he meant.
He chuckled. "I wasn't saying you have, I just know my parents would be onboard, that's all." He rubbed my back again. "But listen, I won't even tell them yet. That'll give us time to talk to your parents and figure things out. I don't want you to be anxious, though, because it's gonna be fine."
"I know, but I wish it could be fine now. Are there words you can say to win them over?" I asked.
"Yes," he said confidently.
"Can you do it?"
"Once I meet them, yes I can. They just have to see how much I love you. That's all they want to know. And who can blame them?"
"Me," I said. "I can blame them because I tried to tell them that. I told Mom I knew what I was doing, and she just wouldn't trust me."
Collin pulled back and tilted my chin up so that I would look at him. "I promise it's gonna be all right," he whispered with an easy smile.
"Can I still marry you?"
"Yes."
"Soon?"
"Yes."
"In Dublin?" I asked.
"If you want to."
"I do."
He smiled. "Then you can."
"If I call my mom, will you say 'hi' to her?" I asked.
His smile grew. "Right now?"
I nodded. "Would you? To know you is to love you, and I just want her to experience that. We'll want our daughter's gorgeous, sweet, smart, entrepreneur boyfriend to do the same for us when she calls us from Ireland."
Chapter 17
I wanted nothing more than to ride off into the sunset with Collin, and I hated the seed of doubt my mother planted in my mind. I had never been more certain of anything in my life, and it hurt that my parents didn't trust me enough to know I wouldn't jump into something this crazy if I didn't know I was meant to be with Collin. He was right when he said that I needed to forgive my mom and try to put myself in her shoes, but I still felt unsettled about the whole situation.
Collin pulled me into his bedroom. There was a T-shirt on the edge of his bed, and I followed him in there, watching in awe as he put it on. I shamelessly gawked as he stretched it above his head and pulled it, first onto his arms and then over his head and chest. It was like watching an underwear ad, and I glanced away just to lessen the tensing reaction in my abdomen.
"I'm not promising a miracle," he said referring to calling my mother. "But I'll try my best."
"You don't have to do it if you don't want to," I said. "I want you to, but I understand if it's weird."
"It's not weird." He flashed his perfectly white teeth at me. "Anything?" he asked (wondering if he had anything stuck between them).
I smiled and shook my head, and watched as he ran a hand through his hair.
"What are you doing?"
"I thought we'd Facetime," he said. "You think she's up for it?" He glanced at the clock, and I could see his wheels turning as he tried to remember what time it was in New York.
"She's up," I said. "I just talked to her. Would you seriously do that?"
"Yep." He smiled and looked down at his own chest. "Otherwise why would I get dressed?"
"Because I came in," I said, checking him out and biting at my bottom lip.
He squinted his eyes at me like I should know better than to say such a thing. "You can see me without my shirt on, baby girl. You're my fiancé."
I smiled and reached out to pinch at him.
"Go ahead and call your mama," he said, pulling me to the couch so we could sit next to each other.
We flopped into our respective seats, and I felt so relieved and protected that I reached over and put a kiss on his cheek before dialing my mom's number.
"This better be good, Sarah Lynn" I heard her say when she picked up. Her camera was facing the ceiling fan in her bedroom instead of where I could see her.
"What are you doing?" I asked, holding my end of the camera onto a random place on the wall instead of at my face. Two can play that game.
"I was reading, and your father's watching an episode of his own show on television."
"Is he right there?" I asked. My mom's end of the camera moved, and I watched as her face came into view. She followed herself as she leaned to her right, letting my father come into view as well.
"
Hey Dad," I said. I aimed my phone at myself, being careful not to include Collin in the picture just yet.
"Hey sweetheart," Dad said. "You've got your mother all nervous over here."
"Oh yeah?"
"Uh-huh," he said.
She held the camera out, aiming it at both of them, and I watched as my dad turned down the television.
"Collin's right here," I said quietly. My heart felt like it might explode with anticipation, and I pleaded with myself to calm down and speak clearly. "I wanted to straighten things out with you guys for two reasons. First, because I'm actually marrying Collin, and I couldn’t sleep without you guys knowing that for sure and maybe even being okay with it. Second, I really want you to come here. I want you to be here for it. I don't ask you guys for much, but I’m—"
"Sarah, you cannot be serious," my mom said.
"Can I say something?" Collin asked.
His question was directed at me since the camera wasn't even aimed at him, but my parents heard him make the request; I could tell by my mom's stunned expression.
"I'm gonna put Collin on, okay?"
Mom huffed and began adjusting her hair as if Collin hadn't been able to see her the whole time, which he had. I aimed the camera at Collin, and my mother treated it like he was seeing her for the first time and not the other way around.
I just sat there, a big bundle of nerves, waiting to hear what they would say.
"Hey Mrs. Spicer, Mr. Spicer," Collin said with a genuine smile and wave.
"Hello there," my dad said.
And at the same time, my mom said, "Hi, Collin," with a little more motherly enthusiasm.
Collin took a deep breath as he regarded each of them on the screen. I wanted to jump in and say something to fill every little break in conversation, but I refrained from doing so, choosing instead to sit back and let them talk.
"I know it must seem hard to believe that we would want to get married this soon after we met each other," Collin said, skipping the small talk.
"Yes it does," my dad agreed with a straight face.
"I know our circumstances aren't what you'd consider normal."
"That's an understatement," my dad interjected, drawing a patient smile from Collin.
JFK to Dublin (Shower & Shelter Artist Collective Book 1) Page 11