"I truly love your daughter, Mr. Spicer. I know you guys only want what's best for her, and I'm thankful for that. I'm glad she has people in her life that have her best interest in mind. I respect you for assuming this is a bad idea. I really do appreciate where you're coming from. But I have to tell you, you're wrong this time."
"And what would be right?" my dad asked, still scowling. "Giving you two my blessing?"
"Yes sir," Collin said. "I know it must not feel right, but it is. If I could somehow stare into this camera just the right way to tell you how much I love her, I would do it. If I could somehow let you see directly into my innermost feelings and intentions, I would do it. I would let you see that my number one goal is to protect her and not harm her. But as it stands all I can do is sit here and let you look at me on a computer screen and tell you thank you for raising such a precious daughter. Sarah would not be who she is today without you two, and I feel like I owe you something for that. I know how amazing she is, and I'm too smart and determined to let her go." Collin paused and gave them a sincere smile. "Both of us are patient people," he added. "We understand perfectly that we have options… that by all standards we should hold off a little while before we decide to get married."
"Exactly," my mom said. "Thank you."
Collin gave her a smile that was edged with regret. "That's the thing," he said with a little remorse. "We're not waiting. Neither of us cares about the status quo." He smiled sincerely at them. "I love your daughter. I want to take care of her and come home to her. I want to know you guys and have you know my family. It's gonna be all good, and you'll just have to see that once we stay together." He paused to sigh and smile at me before he faced them again. "That being said, we've decided to get married, and that's what we're doing. We both like the idea of doing it here in Ireland, so that's how it's shaping up."
My parents just sat there, staring at us with unreadable expressions. I had no idea what they were thinking. "This is all a bit hard to believe," my mom said, finally.
"It's crazy for me, too, if you want to know the truth," Collin said. "If you had told me a month ago that I'd be saying something like this to a girl's parents, I wouldn't have believed you, but here we are. Life surprises you sometimes." He smiled at me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder before focusing on them again. "And when it does, you hop on a six-hour flight from JFK to Dublin to celebrate with your daughter and the man who loves her."
We all stared at each other for a few silent seconds.
"I need to give this to my writers," my dad said, with a serious expression. He looked down his nose, through his reading glasses as if to check something on the device. "Did this thing record what he just said?" he asked my mom. "Ethan's character is gonna get married, and he needs to say that speech to Sydney's family." He looked at Collin with an earnest expression. "Could you say it again? Have you ever thought about acting?"
"Honey," my mom pleaded. "This isn't a TV show, it's real life. Do you understand he's not acting? He's telling you he wants to marry our daughter."
My dad and mom were looking at each other when he said, "Yes, I do realize what he's saying, honey, and I went from planning a way to rescue my daughter to feeling like I wanted to hug the man. I'm already making travel arrangements in my head." Dad paused and gestured toward the screen with an amazed expression. "I mean, I think he loves her. I'm convinced. That's why I'm trying to remember that whole speech. Do you think it recorded?"
"He does love me," I said, holding the screen onto my face like I was hugging them before pulling back again. "That's why he convinced you, because he really does."
I knew by their expressions that Collin had won them over (or at least softened them considerably), so I took advantage of that.
"I know it's late. It's way later here. Thank you so much for being on board. I'm gonna sleep better tonight knowing you guys are coming. Love you! We'll talk tomorrow and figure everything out. Bye, love you!"
I waved and smiled as I reached for the button to disconnect, while still giving them enough time to interject if they had any major objections. They said nothing, just waved and smiled with matching stunned expressions, which I knew meant they were coming to Ireland. I was smirking at my dad's face when I pressed the button to disconnect.
"Oh, my gosh, we're gonna do this," I said.
"Yep," he said, taking me into his arms so quickly that I squealed. "Come on, I couldn’t sleep either." He pulled me toward the bedroom. "I have the TV on in here, and I want you next to me." He pulled off his shirt and tossed it onto the foot of the bed before climbing in. He gave me a toss of the head to tell me to follow him, and he turned down the covers next to him, indicating that it was my spot. "Come on," he said. "I'm not gonna touch you or even kiss you. I just want you next to me."
I was planning on going before he even said that, and I ran and hopped onto the bed, rolling into my place, only I overshot it a little and had to catch myself from falling completely off the other side. Actually, Collin was the one who caught me. He reached out and grabbed me as I pounced and rolled.
I longed to be next to him so badly that the act of stretching out beside him, made me instantly sleepy and subdued. Relaxation washed over me. I had never loved anyone so much in my whole life, nor had I ever been this comfortable.
"I love you," I said stretching out next to him.
"I know," he said.
"How?"
"Because I'm smart, and I can tell. I can see what people are into me for, and you're into me for me." He paused as if choosing his words. "You see past everything I have, right down to the inside of me, and you still love me. You forgive me for things I haven't even done yet, and that just makes me want to never do anything to disappoint you. I love you like a fat kid loves popsicles."
I laughed. "I, I love you like a love song, baby," I sang in my best sleepy Selena Gomez impression.
Collin tickled me for that, which made me giggle and end up even closer to him. I fit myself next to him, lining up our curves just right, and when I glanced up to meet his gaze, our faces were almost touching.
"I'm not gonna kiss you," he whispered.
Our lips were only about two three inches apart. I could feel his breath when he spoke. He smiled at my disappointed expression.
"What? If I kiss you now while we're here in this comfortable bed, I'll end up trying to talk you into other things. Just lay beside me and help me not to ravish you before we get married."
I leaned toward him placing my mouth right next to his ear. "I want to be ravished so bad," I whispered. I pulled back to see that his eyes were closed. He pinched them closed more tightly before finally opening them to smile at me.
"Here's what's gonna happen," he said. "There will be no more ear-whispering tonight. You're gonna lay by me, and I'm gonna to lay by you, and we'll watch TV until we both fall asleep. And tomorrow and the next day, we're going to get up and be tourists in Ireland. I'm gonna buy you a ring to put on your finger, and introduce you as my soon-to-be wife, but I'm not going to kiss you again until you're all mine."
"Seriously? That's so long!"
"It's really not," he said sweetly. "Besides, you waited this long. It's not every day you meet a bride who gets a white wedding."
"It's real gentlemanly of you to think of me and my morals and everything, but really, what's up with the no kissing thing?" I asked sleepily as I nestled my head into the pillow next to him.
He turned and shifted to get it just right as he settled in next to me. "It's just a few days," he said. "I think it'll be fun—it'll give us something to look forward to."
"It's gonna be super hard," I said, my voice sounding sleepier and sleepier with every passing second.
"Yeah, but just imagine how fun it'll be when I marry you," he said, sounding sleepy and unsure as he patted me on the shoulder. "I'm just gonna turn off the TV," he added, noticing that both of us were spent.
"Uh-huh," I said. "Night, love you."
He press
ed the button on the remote and the room went dark. I couldn't think of a single thing that would make me any more comfortable than I was right then.
"Night," he said. "Love you."
Okay, maybe that little phrase was the one thing capable of making me even cozier than I already was. I smiled at the thought as I drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 18
If I had to construct a montage, a collection of memories, from those days in Dublin with Collin, it would consist of laughing, dancing, talking, eating, walking, snuggling, holding hands, and sightseeing. One afternoon, we rented a luxury sports car and went for a drive in the country. And another day, we rode around Dublin on a scooter. I had never laughed so much in my life. Collin was never completely away from his work, but he contained it to a few hours each day, which meant we were hanging out most of the time.
We had countless moments where we would stare at each other, knowing we could both feel the extent of our love. We smiled knowingly at one another every time we figured out something else we had in common. We did all of those things repeatedly, and yet there was still no kissing.
For three days, we spent almost every waking moment with each other, knowing full well how very in love we were, yet not kissing at all. Not once. He held my hand, and that was the extent of our contact. I even canceled my room and snuggled up next to him in the bed every night, and he still didn't try anything. He wore a T-shirt to sleep for goodness sake.
Honestly, it just made me want him more. It was the first time in my life that I felt like my role had been reversed with a guy, and I quite liked it. Maybe Collin knew that, and that's why he was doing it. Either way, it worked. I absolutely couldn't wait till I got to kiss his lips again.
Thankfully, I would not have to wait much longer since this was finally the day. It had been a week since Collin left for London, and today was the day I would become his wife. He would be coming back to Dublin today at noon, which would give him two hours to get to the estate and wrap his mind around saying 'I do'. He might have preferred a day or two in Dublin to get settled and chill out before the wedding, but it didn't work out that way. On such short notice, we easily narrowed it down to the nearest Sunday, which was a day that worked out for everyone involved, including the Steiners who graciously agreed to let us use their house.
Their estate was the epitome of old-world elegance, and they rolled out the red carpet for us since they loved my dad and were fans of Collin's. There simply weren't houses like this in America—at least I have never been in any of them. It was a manor. I half expected people to be wearing period clothing.
Between my family and Collin's, and a few select friends, we flew 18 people in from the states. We ended up inviting a few others we had met in Ireland, including John and Ellen, and the barkeeper, Luke. Collin had a few he was bringing from London as well, so there were just over 30 of us in all, and most everyone was already there.
It was a beautiful, slightly cool day, and we planned on having a short, simple ceremony in the main courtyard before spending the afternoon together in sort of an extended reception. The Steiners loved to host and were extremely gracious about welcoming our guests into their beautiful home. Some of them were even staying a night or two there before heading back to the states.
They had drawing rooms and sitting rooms with all sorts of parlor games, and as part of the celebration, they planned on entertaining everyone for the entire afternoon before feeding us dinner that evening. Collin offered to take care of the catering, but they insisted they would do it so he could relax and enjoy his wedding. The Steiner's had taken care of literally everything.
I overheard my father telling my mom he would end up reimbursing them, but neither of my parents said anything to me about money or the trouble it had taken to get the whole family over to Ireland in a week's notice.
Lu came, and so did one of my childhood friends named Emily. Drake also came not only as my friend, but also as our hired photographer. He had already taken what seemed like a thousand pictures of me since I arrived at the Steiner's house.
"What time is it?" I asked, looking at myself in the mirror. I was styled in a way that fit the house with a soft, flowy, empire-waist gown and my hair down and in waves. I had a simple wreath of flowers around my head with a thin white veil attached to it.
"Thirty minutes till show time," Drake said, glancing at his watch before pointing the camera at me again.
"It looks like everyone's already here," my mom said, looking through a nearby window, which let her see an area where everyone was gathered.
"Most of them are," Mrs. Steiner said in her thick Irish brogue as she entered the room. Her husband was American, but she was Irish through and through, which was why they had ended up back in Dublin. "I was asked to give ya this," she said, offering me a piece of paper. Mrs. Steiner was soft spoken, so I hadn't really heard exactly what she said, but I took the folded piece of paper and opened it, barely aware of the fact that Drake was snapping photos of me.
It was a handwritten note that simply said:
Follow Mrs. Steiner, my love.
I read the words, and my head whipped up to look at Mrs. Steiner who was standing there with an innocent expression. "I guess yer comin' wi me, then," she whispered.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"To the place where Collin tole me to take ya."
"So, I just follow you?" I asked, glancing around at the ladies who were expecting me to stay in this one stationary location until I walked into the courtyard to marry Collin.
"Yes, ma'am, I do believe that's what he wants." She gestured for me to follow her and I did so with no further questions.
I was already out of my mind with nerves, and now it was even worse. Collin and I had already talked about not seeing each other before the ceremony, and I couldn't imagine why he would change his mind. It was difficult not to assume the worst.
"No photos, please," Mrs. Steiner said when she saw that Drake was following us.
"Really?" he asked.
"Right," she said with a nod. "Collin specifically said he didn't want her bein' followed."
Drake and I shared a somewhat worried expression as he hesitated but ultimately decided to stay behind.
"Don't worry, lass, I think he just wants to talk to ya," Mrs. Steiner said as I followed her down the long, empty corridor that led away from the main area of the house.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"To the west garden."
"What's over there?" I asked.
She glanced at me with a little smile. "Collin."
She reached out and opened the wooden door that led outside. We were under a series of stone awnings, and I could see the stone wall around what I knew to be the west garden since I had already taken some pictures out there.
"Is he coming out here?" I asked when Mrs. Steiner stood at the door, looking like she was leaving me to it.
"He's already over there," she said. She gestured to the stone wall, and I looked at it again, seeing nothing. "Jus go over there. He's waitin' for ya."
"Thank you," I said with a nod as Mrs. Steiner smiled and closed the door.
I walked toward the wall, feeling more anxious than ever. I knew in my heart it wasn't the case, but I couldn't stop the thought from crossing my mind that Collin might be dragging me out there to dump me. My heart was singing, and pounding, and aching, and breaking—all at the same time.
"Hello?" I said.
"Pssssst," I heard.
Just the playfulness of the sound made me smile.
"Pssst," I said back.
"Come here," he said.
I walked toward the sound of his voice, knowing it was coming from the other side of the wall.
"I don't want you to see me," I said. I put my hands on the wall, knowing in my heart that I was close to the place where he was on the other side.
"Pssst," I heard him say again.
The sound was coming from a nearby crack in the wall. There was
a hole, letting in light from the other side, and I had just spotted it when two fingers came out, wiggling to catch my attention. I gasped and instantly reached out to touch him, smiling uncontrollably. I missed him so badly that it felt like a miracle to finally touch his flesh. I grabbed his fingers, feeling like I wanted to pull him all the way through that hole like a comical cartoon bunny who was tugging a carrot out of the ground. I needed to get to him so badly that I wanted to cry. I held onto his fingers with one hand, while my other hand was glued to the wall, like maybe if I wished hard enough, the heavy stones would break to bits, and I could get to Collin.
"I changed my mind about kissing you," he said, sounding a little impatient.
I hadn't really had the chance to consider his whole statement, because it began with, I changed my mind, which was a red flag phrase for a bride on her wedding day.
"What did you change your mind about?" I asked, knowing he had said more.
"Kissing you," he said. "I don't want to wait."
"Well you have to," I said, "because you can't see me before we go out there. It's tradition."
"I won't look at you. I just want to kiss you. I don't want to wait for the wedding, because I don't want to share it with anyone. I don't want anyone taking our picture, and I don't want you thinking about what anyone else thinking. I want your lips on mine, Sarah. I won't look at you, but I brought you out here to kiss you, and that's what I intend to do."
"What if I say no?" I asked, knowing I would never do that since I was feeling absolutely desperate to kiss him.
"And why would ya do that?" he asked with an Irish accent.
"I wouldn't," I said.
Before I knew what was happening, Collin shoved a strip of fabric through the hole in the fence, and I tugged on it, pulling roughly an arm's length of fabric out of the hole before inspecting it curiously.
"It's from the curtains, I think," he explained. "I told Mrs. Steiner about our little predicament, and she's said these would work."
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