Always You

by Mari Carr

  She climbed into her car, rolled down the windows and turned up the radio, feeling more at peace than she had in a very long time. As she turned onto the highway, she settled in for the hour-long drive back to Harrisburg.

  She was twenty minutes out of town when she heard a loud bang and her steering wheel began to shake.

  “Dammit,” she muttered as she pulled to the side of the road. She got out, perfectly aware of what she was going to find. And sure enough, there it was. A flat tire.

  “Wonderful.” Suddenly she was regretting skipping tire-changing day back in Driver’s Ed. At the time, she hadn’t felt like getting her new shirt dirty. Now she was rethinking that decision.

  She pulled her cell phone out of her back pocket and dialed Nick, hoping she didn’t go to voicemail again. He’d yet to return her call.

  “You busy?” she asked when he answered.

  “Depends. Is sex involved?”

  She laughed. “It could be. After.”

  “After what?”

  “After you change this flat tire I just got?”

  He groaned. “Where are you?”

  “Route 50, just past Gilliam.”

  “What the hell are you doing out there?”

  “I left you a voicemail message.”

  “You did?” Nick’s voice grew fainter as she pictured him pulling his cell away to look at the screen. “Damn. Yeah. I’ve got seven missed calls. Been in court all day. Nasty custody battle. Only just now got out.”

  “Everything okay?”

  “Divorce sucks.”

  She laughed lightly. “Yeah. I’m not sure how you manage to deal with all that heartache day in and day out.”

  She heard his car door shut and his engine start up through the phone and she smiled. He was already on his way. She was touched.

  “It’s easier when there aren’t kids involved. Listen. I can be there in thirty. You safe where you are?”

  She looked around the quiet piece of highway. She was surrounded by trees. And nothing else. “Yep. I’m fine. Wi-Fi is working so I can catch up on my Trivia Crack while I wait.”

  “Sounds like a plan. Just sit tight and I’ll get there as soon as I can.”

  They hung up and Georgie climbed back in her car to wait. Nick actually managed to get to her in twenty-three minutes, which meant he’d done a fair bit of speeding. She liked that he was worried enough about her to rush.

  She stepped out of her car to meet him, surprised that the face greeting her didn’t match the kind voice from the phone. He’d clearly listened to his messages.

  “Hey,” she said cheerfully, hoping to cajole him out of his bad mood.

  “Open the trunk.”

  She did as he asked, then stepped out of the way. Nick shook his head as he crossed his arms. “Nope,” he said. “You’re going to do it.”

  “What?” She glanced down at her favorite white blouse. “Nick,” she started, but he didn’t budge.

  “You made me put flowers in a vase for my mother. Now you’re going to learn how to change a tire. My granddaddy always said you learn by doing, so let’s start the lesson.”

  “Can’t I just watch? I’m a visual learner.”

  “Nice try. Get the jack and spare out.”

  She studied her trunk for several moments before glancing back at him. “I don’t appear to have either one of those.”

  Nick rolled his eyes, then opened a compartment she’d never seen before.

  “I had no idea that was there,” she remarked when he stepped back again.

  “What were you going to do if I’d still been in court and hadn’t answered the phone?”

  She shrugged. “Call someone else?”

  “Dammit, George. How many times do I have to tell you? You can’t just keep floating along through life without a care for the consequences.”

  “You heard the voicemail.”

  Nick’s jaw tightened. “Just get the tire out.”

  “Nick, I—”

  “Not now, George.” His voice was quiet, laced with anger and something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. He sounded almost tired.

  Slowly and methodically, Nick talked her through the process of changing her flat. It wasn’t quite as hard as she’d imagined, though it certainly was no cakewalk. She’d gotten dirt on her shirt and hands, fallen on her ass twice as she struggled to loosen the lug nuts and sweat was streaming down her back. It figured she’d get a flat tire on the hottest day of the summer. Surely it shouldn’t be so scorching on the last damn day of August. Where the hell was fall? The current temperature was rivaling the flames of hell and the surface of the sun.

  Apart from his instructions, Nick hadn’t bothered to engage in conversation and she’d been too busy concentrating on her task to try to sweet-talk him out of his mood.

  In fact, his sullenness was started to rub off on her.

  What the hell was wrong with him? She’d called and left him a message. She’d invited him to join her. He knew as well as she did Leo was harmless as a kitten. So where did he get off acting like she’d committed some cardinal sin by going to apologize to an old friend she’d wronged?

  The happiness she’d felt when she left Leo in the restaurant had completely evaporated. All she felt now was annoyed, sweaty and pissed off.

  She slammed the trunk harder than necessary after she’d thrown the old tire and the jack in. She whirled on Nick, ready to give him a piece of her mind.

  He cut her off with his own anger. “Not here.”

  “Nick.”

  “I mean it, George. Get in your car. I’ll follow you home to make sure that spare is okay.”

  Her patience was gone, so she simply spat out a hostile, “Fine.”

  The drive home did little to cool her off. She parked her car in her spot, then walked over to where Nick had pulled along the curb. His engine was still running and he made no move to get out.

  As she approached his vehicle, he rolled down the passenger window.

  “Aren’t you coming in?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “No. I think I’m going to hit the gym.”

  “Are you coming over later?”

  Nick didn’t reply, which basically said it all.

  Her temper was piqued. “How long are you going to give me the silent treatment?”

  Nick’s eyes flashed fire. “Seriously, George. You don’t think I’m entitled to feel a little hurt right now?”

  “Hurt? Just because I went to apologize to Leo? I called you, Nick. I asked you to come with me.”

  “Why the mad rush? When I left this morning, you didn’t even mention that you were going to see him.”

  “I didn’t exactly plan it. I stopped to see Leo’s mom on the way to work on a whim.”

  Nick rolled his eyes, which made her angrier.

  “Fine, Nick. I get it. I don’t map out my whole life on a damn calendar like you do. I don’t have every fucking second between now and 2058 accounted for. Obviously, this is a major character flaw, but it’s not like you don’t know this about me.”

  “I can live with the impulsiveness, George. I just don’t understand why you felt this overwhelming need to find an old boyfriend one hour after getting out of bed with me.”

  “So you’re jealous?”

  He closed his eyes and Georgie imagined him counting to ten in his head. She could almost see him rattling off each number in an attempt to calm down. “I don’t know what I am,” he said when his gaze found hers again. “I’ve never been the jealous type, but the idea of you meeting an old fiancé makes me insane.”

  Georgie’s anger began to abate. Nick was honestly trying to explain his feelings to her. She knew it didn’t come natural to him, so she appreciated the effort. He was raised in a fairly cold house where emotions were considered weakness.

  “I’m not interested in Leo, Nick. Or Phillip.”

  His teeth clenched as she spoke their names. She wished he’d come inside the house so they could talk in p
rivacy. While it wasn’t exactly a busy street, there were a couple of kids playing in one of the nearby yards and several cars had driven by.

  When the silence persisted, Georgie broke it. “Leo wasn’t at the courthouse.”

  Her comment clearly took him aback. “What?”

  “I didn’t jilt him. He didn’t show up either.”

  She had hoped her words would somehow soothe him. Maybe if he knew Leo didn’t want her any more than she’d wanted him, he’d feel less threatened.

  It didn’t work. He snorted scornfully. “Congratulations. Apparently your track record isn’t as bad as you thought.”

  “Nick. Please come inside with me. I think we need to talk about the past.”

  He scoffed. “That didn’t take long.”

  She was confused. “What didn’t?”

  “Finally my turn, I guess.”

  Georgie’s heart shattered at the devastation in his tone. Did he think she’d just been stringing him along all this time until it was his turn for an apology? She’d joked about that back in April after he’d saved her from Phillip, but she hadn’t meant it.

  Although now that she considered it, she hadn’t even said she was sorry to him. She’d been so focused on the future, on proving to him that she’d changed that she hadn’t fully appreciated how much he was still hurting about the past.

  Even so…

  “Nick. I’ve tried to talk to you about why I left so many times. You never let me. I thought…”

  What had she thought? That all was forgiven? The past month had certainly made her believe that. How could she have been so wrong? Misread so much?

  Nick closed his eyes. “I know what you thought, George. This isn’t your fault. I guess what it all boils down to is I’m tired of coming in third place.”

  She stood there, stunned. Third? He thought he was third.

  “I gotta go.”

  Georgie took a step back, completely at a loss over what to say, what to do now. “Nick—”

  “I’m sorry, Georgie.”

  He put the car in drive and was gone before she could say goodbye. Tears streamed down her cheeks, his apology ringing in her ears.

  He’d said he was sorry. Those words were supposed to be hers.

  And once again, she’d failed to say them.

  * * *

  Nick sat at the bar, staring at his empty beer mug. He’d left Georgie and driven straight to Blue Moon where he’d proceeded to drink himself into a stupor. Josie’s boyfriend, Jake, was tending the bar and even now, he could feel the man’s eyes on him. Concerned.

  He’d been stupid to come here to drown his sorrows. Jake would probably tell Josie, who would waste no time reporting it to Georgie. Curse of living in a small town. It was impossible to make a fucking ass of yourself without the whole world knowing.

  “Last call, Nick. You going to want another?”

  Nick was already about three over the limit, so he shook his head.

  “If you don’t mind hanging out for a few minutes after we close, I’ll give you a ride home.”

  Nick looked at Jake and tried to muster a smile. “Thanks. I’d appreciate that.”

  “You want to talk about it yet?” Jake had tried to start this conversation with Nick when he’d first claimed a stool at the bar, but Nick’s emotions had been riding too close to the surface to talk, so he’d shut him down.

  Jake had respected that and, apart from setting him up with drinks, had left him alone to sort out his thoughts.

  The beer had served its purpose, dulling his senses, numbing the pain. “I fucked up.”

  Jake grinned. “Yeah. I figured that much out on my own. You look pretty damn miserable, man. Georgie?”

  Nick nodded. “Got jealous. Lost my temper.”

  Jake’s smile faded. “Lost it how?”

  Nick scowled. He and Jake had only been together a handful of times in the past few months, typically in a larger social setting, so he couldn’t be too upset at the guy for his question. “I don’t hit women.”

  Jake’s shoulders visibly relaxed. “So I assume the two of you got into a fight.”

  “Yeah. I said a bunch of stuff I shouldn’t have and managed not to say one damn word of the shit I should have said.”

  Georgie had been right about him avoiding the subject of the past. Being a coward didn’t sit easily on his shoulders, but there was no other way to describe his actions. He wouldn’t let her explain why she left because he couldn’t shake his fears. They’d been together off and on a lot since January. And never, not once, had Georgie said she loved him.

  “So call her up and finish the conversation. Say the rest.”

  Jake’s advice was sound. And nothing he hadn’t been saying to himself since he’d driven away from her this afternoon.

  “You think there comes a point in a relationship when it’s too late to fix things?” A lot of water had gone under his bridge with Georgie. So much so, Nick was worried they’d flooded it and washed the damn thing away.

  “Depends,” Jake said, wiping the counter.

  “On what?”

  “On whether or not you’re still in love with her.”

  Nick rubbed his brow wearily. “That’s the only thing about Georgie that’s not in question. I love her so much it hurts.”

  Jake rolled his eyes. “Then what are you doing here, Nick? Go home tonight. Sober up. Tomorrow, you find Georgie and you tell her that. I guarantee the rest of this shit won’t matter after that’s said.”

  Jake made it all sound so simple. And maybe it was.

  * * *

  Georgie showed up late for her standing Thursday night wine date with the girls. She’d considered skipping it completely, but after she’d had a good long cry, she’d pulled herself together and realized she needed help.

  Laura met her at the door. “Thank goodness. Kristen was just about to send out a search party for you. You’re usually the first to arrive. We weren’t quite sure how to proceed without you.”

  Georgie tried to smile, but fell short. Very short as tears filled her eyes.

  “Georgie?” Laura reached for her, concern in her gaze. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  Laura’s troubled questions must have reached the other women as Kristen appeared in the hallway.

  “Come on, Georgie,” Kristen said, reaching for her hand.

  Georgie took her friend’s hand, grateful for the other woman’s firm, steady grip, as Kristen led her into the living room. Georgie dropped down on the end of the couch heavily, not bothering to hide her tears.

  “What happened?” Shelly asked, grabbing a box of tissues from the end table and handing them to Georgie.

  Zoey quickly claimed the spot next to Georgie and put her arm around her shoulder. “It’s okay, Georgie. Whatever’s wrong, we can fix it.”

  For some reason, Zoey’s belief that everything would be okay calmed her down. Georgie dried her eyes and wiped her nose. Then took a couple of steadying breaths. “Sorry about that.”

  Kristen sat down in the chair closest to Georgie. “I think it’s time you told us the last story, Georgie. Tell us about Nick.”

  Apparently she hadn’t been as good at hiding her feelings for Nick as she’d thought. It was obvious everyone in the room knew exactly what had prompted her tears.

  Georgie smiled weakly when Laura handed her a glass of wine. “Nick and I met four and a half years ago. He came into the shop to buy a bouquet of flowers for his weekend hookup.”

  Josie grinned. “Must have been quite a hookup.”

  “Yeah. Apparently it was. Anyway, I sold him some flowers and that was it until Mother’s Day when he came back again. Actually it was the Monday after the holiday and he was in trouble with Gladys. It was just past closing time, but I helped him out. He invited me to dinner as a thank you. I told him I had a boyfriend. I’d been dating Phillip a few months at the time. He said we’d just be friends. And I don’t know, somehow that’s what we became. It was like I’d alwa
ys known him. He was fun to hang out with, easy to talk to. It was cool.”

  “Then you ran away from Phillip on the football field in September,” Laura added, putting the pieces together.

  Georgie nodded. “By then, Nick was dating a college professor named Giselle.”

  “So you just stayed friends?” Shelly asked.

  “Yep. I was seeing Leo when Nick and Giselle split. And by the time May rolled around and Leo and I stood each other up at the courthouse, Nick was with Cheryl.”

  Kristen leaned forward. “Wait. What? Leo stood you up?”

  Georgie laughed lightly, feeling better simply by talking. “Found Leo today. Turns out he didn’t go to the courthouse either.”

  Zoey clapped her hands with delight. “Hooray. Bet that made you feel better.”

  “Loads.” And it had. For about an hour. Until the confrontation with Nick.

  “So how long was Nick with Cheryl?” Shelly asked.

  “A couple months shy of a year and a half. He dumped her one night after a charity fundraiser in September and showed up on my doorstep. One thing sort of led to another.”

  Shelly’s eyes widened. “You hooked up with him the same night he broke up with his girlfriend?”

  “Yeah. I think the attraction between us had always been there, but our timing had been off.”

  “How long did you date Nick before the wedding?”

  Georgie blew out a long breath. “Three months. It was insane actually. I’m usually the impulsive one, but that was all Nick. He insisted we weren’t moving too fast because we’d known each other for so long.”

  Laura topped up Georgie’s wineglass even though she’d only had a couple of sips. “You didn’t feel the same way?”

  “I love Nick. I’ve always loved him. It’s just, at the time, I was sort of resistant to that.”

  “Why?” Shelly looked completely perplexed. Georgie recognized her friend’s confusion. Shelly had spent her entire life looking for, wishing for love. Shelly clearly couldn’t understand why Georgie would deny something that was so obvious now.

  Georgie looked down at her hands, and then admitted something she’d never said out loud. “I’d never been in love before Nick.”