The Neighbor [The Complete Collection]

by Abby Weeks

  She’d never been more excited. She had the neighbor to think about for one thing. Then there was the valet kid who she’d let finger her vagina like it was nothing at all. And then Ben had taken her in the ass like he was an entirely new man and she was some whore he’d picked up at a motel. She felt like their whole world was changing.

  Before they knew it, Ben would be working for a fancy new firm in Albany and would be taking in twice as much money as he was now. They would have a wonderful new life of power and wealth ahead of them and all the pleasure in the world would be theirs for the taking.

  As she looked down from the bridge over the rooftops of Troy that was the thought that struck her hardest. There was so much pleasure in the world, and it seemed to be suddenly coming at them from every direction at once.

  And she thought, even the fact that Ben was having an affair with his secretary had its advantages. It meant that she could get away with far more than would be possible otherwise. Just yesterday she’d been consumed with pain and jealousy over how to get Ben away from his secretary but now she saw the whole thing as just one more insignificant detail, something that would let her get what she wanted out of life.

  As they reached the front of Terroni’s, Janey found that she didn’t even care in the least that Ben was going in to the office to see Suzy. So what? she thought. He had his little plaything but she was the one he’d married. And besides, she had playthings of her own now.

  —Goodbye, honey, she said as she hugged him in the car.

  She was surprised when Ben wouldn’t let go of her.

  —I love you, Janey, he said.

  She kissed him. It was a long, passionate kiss.

  —I know, she said, and gave his penis a little squeeze through his pants.

  She got out of the car and blew him a kiss before watching him drive off. Then she searched in her purse for her valet ticket. The restaurant wasn’t open yet but she could see, sitting on the steps out front enjoying his morning cigarette, her boy. Her boy.

  That was really how she thought of him now. He was hers. Everything was hers. She could have whatever she wanted and there was nothing that could get in her way.

  —Hey, kid, she said to him, and gave him a charming and provocative smile. You ready to learn how to please a lady?

  The boy looked up at her and his mouth was agape. He looked her over and she knew he was impressed. He’d never been with a woman as hot as her before, she was certain he hadn’t. She’d purposely worn some sexy yoga pants and a tight shirt that clung to her breasts and left her midriff exposed. She’d told Ben that she was going to the gym.

  The boy was speechless.

  —Well quit staring like an idiot and take me to my car. I’m going to teach you how to go down on a girl like a pro.

  The boy got up and threw her the keys to her car.

  —Yes, ma’am, he said.

  I

  JANEY SAT ON HER BED and stared out the panoramic windows at the neighbor’s pool. She’d been sitting in her room all day, waiting for a sign that he was watching her. It had been two days since she’d thrown her underwear in his pool and she hadn’t seen a sign of him since. She was beginning to worry that she’d scared him off. Maybe she’d upset him by being so bold. She wracked her brain for a way to get his attention but she didn’t even know if he was at home. It was pointless. It was senseless, in fact. She was a grown woman and she didn’t need to be wasting her time sitting around, hoping that her neighbor was watching her.

  There was just something about it, though. The feeling of being watched had given her such a deep thrill. Since it had happened, all she could think about was the neighbor. She wondered what kind of a man he was. He was older than her but she had no idea by how much exactly. He was wealthy but she didn’t know how wealthy, or how he had made his money. She found herself daydreaming about what sort of a man he was, what kind of music and art and film he liked, what his interests were. She liked to imagine him as charming and intelligent and she imagined meeting him in person and the two of them hitting it off.

  All of this was crazy. She knew that. She was a married woman and the reason she was here in Sunny Oaks was to fix her marriage, cement her relationship with Ben, and get him out of his job in Troy. Finding him a new firm to work for was crucial because it would get him away from that slut of a secretary at his current office. The right firm would also get them both started on the social ladder that existed at the state capital in Albany. She should have been spending her time finding out about the big firms in Albany, figuring out who was who in the upper echelons of state politics, checking out which law firms were making the most money and winning the most important clients. Instead she was sitting on her bed, gazing across the lawn at the neighbor’s house, wondering where he was and whether he’d ever come back and watch her in her bedroom.

  The craziest thing about it all was that she seemed to got more of a thrill out of being watched by the neighbor than she did actually having sex with her husband. She’d even fooled around with that parking valet at Terroni’s, flirting with him shamelessly and even letting him touch her. That had been a brief but dangerous moment of absolute senselessness. It was just madness, plain and simple. She’d been aroused so utterly that day by the neighbor’s watching her that she’d acted out of character and allowed the valet to touch her. She’d even acted provocatively with him the following morning, flirting shamelessly and making suggestive comments when she’d gone back to get her car, but of course nothing had happened. She couldn’t explain that behavior. Was she beginning to lose it? She had a full life to lead with Ben, he was going to be a successful lawyer and the two of them were going to climb the ladder to wealth, success and happiness. If he caught her fooling around with parking attendants he’d flip out. She’d lose everything. What had she been thinking?

  That wasn’t her. She wasn’t one to act so recklessly that she’d jeopardize everything she’d worked for in her life. She had a good, loving husband, even if he wasn’t perfect, and she should be doing everything she could to help him advance his career right now.

  She got up off the bed and went into the bathroom. It was ten in the morning and she wasn’t even out of her pajamas yet. She had to get a hold of herself. She couldn’t spend the rest of the summer moping around hoping the neighbor would come home and watch her making a fool of herself. She got in the shower and let the hot water wash over her body, trying to get a feeling of reinvigoration and life into her bones. She’d shake herself out of this rut she’d fallen into.

  After her shower she got dressed and went downstairs, determined to be productive. She made coffee and toast and after she’d eaten she got the laundry organized. The laundry room in the new house was really nice. They had new, front-loading appliances that came with the house. Ben hadn’t wanted to pay for them but Janey pleaded and begged and finally he’d agreed.

  She took a pair of Ben’s pants from the washer and felt something in the pocket. She reached in and pulled out a candy wrapper. Then she dropped it on the ground. Her face flushed red and she felt as if she’d just been slapped hard across the cheek. She felt hot. It was as if the entire room had gotten hotter. It wasn’t a candy wrapper at all. It was a condom wrapper.

  She and Ben didn’t use condoms. She was on the pill. He was still screwing other women. It must have been from being with Suzy.

  She touched her cheek with the back of her hand. It did feel hot. She went to the sink and ran the cold water and washed her face with it. She washed away her tears and tried to convince herself that she hadn’t been crying at all.

  Why was Ben doing this to her? She couldn’t bear the thought of it. She’d tried to convince herself that she didn’t care what Ben did, that she was stronger than this and that it didn’t matter if he fooled around with his secretary, but it did no good. The pain ran sharp and deep. She wasn’t strong enough to overlook this. She shut off the water and breathed deeply, trying to regain her composure. She wouldn’t allow thi
s to control her. She was master of her own emotions and she would overcome this. She had to. She had decided not to bring up the affair with Ben, she wanted everything to remain calm and happy in their home, and she vowed she could do it.

  She finished the laundry as calmly as she could and went back upstairs. She sat at the bar in the kitchen and finished the pot of coffee she’d made earlier. She was numb. She forced herself to be numb. Whatever happened, it was self-control that she needed now, not emotion or panic or grief, just control.

  As she finished the last of the coffee the phone started ringing. On the caller ID she saw that it was Ben calling.

  II

  JANEY BREATHED IN DEEPLY AND gathered all her strength before picking up the phone. She had decided that she wasn’t going to ruin things by letting Ben know she knew about the affair. She was going to bear the whole weight of it alone, for the good of their marriage. That was how she’d been raised. That was what her mother had done. And that was what she would do, too.

  —Hello, honey, she said into the receiver.

  —I’m sorry, a woman’s voice replied. Is this Janey?

  —Yes, this is Janey Carver, she said.

  —Hi, Janey, the voice said. This is Suzy. Walter will be on the line in just a minute.

  —Ok, Janey said.

  Her voice sounded weak. She was motionless as a statue as she held the phone to her ear and waited for Ben to come on the line. She didn’t know how Ben could have Suzy place his call to her. He was having an affair with her. It was heartless. It might have been ten seconds or two minutes that she had to wait for Ben. She had no idea.

  —Hello, he said.

  —Hi, honey, she answered, trying to sound as normal and unaffected as she could.

  —Is something wrong?

  —No. Nothing. I just burned myself.

  —Oh, I’m sorry, baby.

  —It’s ok, she said as she flicked the kettle back on.

  —Is it bad?

  —No. Don’t worry about it. Why did you call?

  —I just wanted to let you know I’d be home late tonight.

  —Oh. She couldn’t help it. Her voice cracked.

  —What is it?

  —Nothing, honey. I just thought I’d cook us a nice meal tonight.

  —Sorry. Clients.

  —I understand.

  —Don’t sound so disappointed. It’s work, honey.

  —I know, Ben. It’s just, I’m here alone all day, I was looking forward to your getting home.

  —You’ll be fine. You’ll figure out a way to entertain yourself. Watch a movie or something.

  —A movie? Will you be that late.

  —I’m afraid so. You shouldn’t wait up.

  —Ok, she said quietly.

  —Don’t sound so upset. This is how we’re paying for that house you wanted.

  —I know, Ben. Don’t be mad at me. I’m just disappointed is all.

  —Well there’s nothing I can do about it.

  He was mad at her. She knew it was because he was being defensive.

  —Ok, she said. Bye.

  She hung up and began to cry again. She’d been such an idiot. For months before the move he’d been calling her and making excuses like that. That’s how the affair with Suzy had gotten off the ground. If she’d been firmer with him and forced him to come home to her right after work, her marriage wouldn’t be in jeopardy now. It was her own fault for being so weak. And she’d just gone and done it again. She’d let him off the hook so that he could stay out late with Suzy. She knew he’d be spending the night with her. He might even take her to Terroni’s for all she knew.

  She picked up the kettle and placed her left arm flat on the counter. Then, without even flinching, she poured a good measure of the boiling water onto her arm. As the pain of the burn flowed through her she imagined that this was somehow getting back at Ben. She imagined that he would somehow suffer from this pain, that it would make him feel bad for cheating on her and putting her through such emotional agony. The truth was that the only person it hurt was herself.

  She ran the burn under the cold tap and then iced it. It had left a red scar about three inches wide on the inside of her arm.

  She went and lay on the couch and flipped through daytime television shows. It was a warm, sunny day outside and she knew she should be outside making the most of it but she just felt too depressed. She watched the mindless television and tried not to think of Ben and his slutty secretary. She didn’t understand why it affected her so deeply. After all, she’d already known about the affair. But it did affect her deeply. It cut like a knife.

  She fell asleep on the sofa in front of the television. When she woke she looked at her watch and saw that it was four PM. She’d wasted most of the afternoon. The burn on her arm ached and she regretted doing that to herself. She got more ice from the freezer and soothed it as much as she could. Then she went upstairs for another shower. She ended up lying in the bath for another half hour with her arm out of the water. She knew she had to find a way to pull herself out of this malaise but she didn’t know how to do it. She was afraid of what would happen when Ben realized how depressed she was. Things would come to a head and she wasn’t ready for that.

  After the bath she got dressed in some sweats and tied her hair back. She ordinarily wouldn’t go out in public dressed like that but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She got in her car and drove to the local grocery store. Inside the store, she wandered aimlessly down the aisles, throwing mostly snack food into her cart. They did need groceries but she wasn’t in the mood for buying real food, especially if Ben wasn’t even joining her for dinner. She bought Oreo flavored ice cream, microwave popcorn, chips and salsa, all things she usually wouldn’t allow herself. There was also a machine that rented movies and she put her credit card in the slot and choose a couple of romances at random. She threw them in the cart on top of the snack food and made her way to the checkout.

  Just as she got there she saw someone familiar. It was him, the neighbor! He was all the way down one of the aisles but he was unmistakable. He was wearing slacks and a golf shirt and Janey knew she would recognize that perfect posture anywhere. He was tall and straight and had a way of walking that made him look confident and in control.

  In a rash decision she turned her cart down the aisle he was in and walked straight toward him. If she’d been thinking straight she would have realized this was not the right time at all to let him see her close up for the first time. She’d been crying most of the day and her eyes were red and puffy. She hadn’t done her hair or applied her makeup very well and she looked a complete mess. She was dressed in flip-flops and sweats like some trailer park wife. She really shouldn’t have been approaching him but she couldn’t help it.

  She needed him.

  III

  THE NEIGHBOR WAS HANDSOME. She had to give him that much. He looked distinguished and intelligent and athletic. His hair was white but full and his skin was tanned to a light, golden brown. He looked like he’d just come off a boat. He was wearing the brown leather shoes she’d seen men on boats wear.

  She walked after him down the aisle. He was at the far end, picking up a few groceries. He rounded the corner to the next aisle and Janey ran down after him. She went around the corner and there he was, right in front of her, trying to decide which type of barbecue sauce he liked best.

  It was only then that Janey realized how rash she’d been. She looked a complete mess and probably seemed crazy chasing some complete stranger around the store. She wished she hadn’t run after him. She didn’t have nice clothes on or any makeup. She’d become one of those women who wandered around the grocery store like a ghost while her husband cheated on her at the office.

  Her cart was practically touching his. He was standing there with a surprised look on his face. He hadn’t expected to run into her like this. She was his kinky new neighbor and he’d masturbated watching her. He seemed a little embarrassed.

  —Hello, h
e said uncertainly.

  Janey gave him a weak smile. Why had she rushed into this? She must seem desperate. The man was probably saying hello out of sympathy. He must be disappointed at how she looked in real life. She didn’t look nearly as good as she had in the torsolette when he’d first seen her. He’d never look at her the same way again. She’d ruined it.

  —Hello, Janey said.

  —I believe I owe you an introduction, the man said.

  Janey didn’t know what to say. This was so awkward. Why hadn’t she just left the store? It was too late now to go back.

  —I’m Henry Walden, he said.

  His voice was deep and gravelly. Just the kind of voice that Janey had imagined he would have. She could have closed her eyes and listened to it all night.

  —I’m Janey, she said. Janey Carver.

  This was a disaster. He’d never be interested in her now that he’d seen her up close. She should have contrived a meeting at a better time.

  —My husband is Benjamin Carver. We’ve just moved in next to you.

  —I noticed, Henry said and raised an eyebrow.

  Janey smiled in embarrassment.

  There followed an awkward silence. Henry was looking at her intently, taking her all in. He seemed to be drinking her up with his eyes. Maybe he wasn’t disgusted by her, after all. He seemed taken by her. She looked at his eyes, which were following the contours of her body from her feet up along her legs, over her bum and up to her breasts and face. She felt the thrill of being watched all over again. There was something about this man, about the way he made her feel when he looked at her, that she found intensely fulfilling and exhilarating. It was almost like he could do more with his eyes than Ben could do even with his hands. She began to feel a little better about herself, like his gaze was the sunlight bringing her back to life.

  She felt that maybe she’d been a little hard on herself. She’d been depressed all day but that was only natural given what Ben was up to. She was still a beautiful young woman with her whole life ahead of her. She might not have any makeup on and her hair was tied back in a messy ponytail but she had a beautiful figure, a pretty face, a nice complexion.