Back to You

by Annie Brewer

  “Hey, we should stop.” I maneuver my way back to my seat.

  “Are you okay? Was that too much?” Hardly.

  “No not at all. I just don’t want to end up having our first time in your car, because believe me I would not have been able to contain my desires if we kept on going like that.” I grin wide still trying to catch my breath.

  This satisfies him and he turns the car on. “Well, before we get you home and we have to go back to pretending to just be friends until we tell everyone, I just want to say this was the best night of my life. Thank you Abby, for everything. It means a lot to me that you, you know came forward with your feelings and such. I know it must have been hard keeping them hidden all this time, but it’s better to tell someone.”

  “I told my mom. And guess what?” He gives me a dubious look.

  “So enlighten me, what did she say?” I buckle my seatbelt and we start out of the parking lot, onto the road. “She gave me a spiel about making sure that when the time is right that I be prepared and be safe. Even if it’s with you.” A shocked expression crosses his features. “Are you serious? So she already knows about us?”

  “Not exactly, she knows about my dream and about my feelings. I told her I wasn’t sure what I was going to do yet. But she said she wanted me to be careful and that if I chose you, then she would support it either way.” He pulls to the side of the road and puts the car in park, looking straight at me. I glance behind us for any passing cars, and become frantic. “Why are we stopped on the side of the road Lucas?”

  “Abby, why can’t you just tell your mom about us now? What’s stopping you?” The urge to get out of the car and walk home at this point is pretty great. “Lucas, I told you I don’t want to hurt Brady. And I know I am already cheating or whatever, but I’m not ready to make us public yet. Can you just please respect my needs and wants?” He looks away, then nods and carefully merges back on the road. We drive the whole way in silence.

  We pull up in front of my house. I don’t want to get out of the car yet but the tension around us is a little too much for me to bear. I didn’t want our perfect evening to be ruined. “Hey, are you mad at me now?” I ask taking my seat belt off.

  “No, I’m just thinking at the moment.”

  “Don’t lie to me Lucas. You wouldn’t be this quiet if nothing was wrong.” The air shifts and I feel stifled, almost unable to breathe. “You need to go inside. I’ll call you tomorrow, or later today actually.” I’m sick of hearing everything’s fine or we’ll talk later, it’s ridiculous.

  “No, you need to talk to me right now. I’m not going to have a perfectly wonderful evening with you then have it ruined because you can’t fucking be patient with me. I told you this wouldn’t work because we can’t get along long enough to have a passionate loving relationship. This is bull shit Lucas.” I don’t mean to yell or hurt him to the point of cursing at him, but things have to be said and once I start I can’t shut the fuck up.

  I reach for the door handle, “Wait, I’m sorry Abby. I know I shouldn’t have forced the issue. Please forget I said anything.” I let go of the door and get face to face with him, nostrils flaring. “Call me when you can be an adult. I’m tired of this childish act Lucas. I’m tired.” I storm out of the car, slamming the door. I watch him speed away and drop to my knees in sobs.

  Chapter 13

  “Hey, Abby. Wake up.” I feel a shake and think I’m dreaming. I squint my eye open and stare into my mother’s face. I bury my head under my pillow. “Wake up honey. I want to know how the party went last night. You didn’t come home until late.” I lifted my head and looked at her. “Jesus, Abby. What the Hell happened to you?”

  “Huh?” Suddenly my head is pounding with a dull ache, and flashes of last night came back to me. “How do I look?” I ask my mom, trying to figure out what she means.

  “Honey, you look like shit. Mark my words.” Gee thanks, she could have been a little softer about it considering it’s-wow, I slept till 2 pm. I thrash the covers off of me and head to the bathroom. I take one look at myself and feel the need to vomit. My hair is a matted mess and my face looks like I’ve been on a hayride with a tractor. My face is sagging, eyes are red and makeup is smeared everywhere. I look like a freak show. “Hey, is everything okay?” My mother peeks her head in, concerned.

  “Yea, I just had a lot to drink and don’t remember much. But it was fun.” I fake smile to keep her from second guessing me. I’m not usually good at lying because, well quite frankly I never really do. I feel horrible for starting it now. “I’m going to take a shower; God only knows what I got on me.” She gives me a smile and kisses the top of my head. Standing there in the shower, water hits my body and it’s hard to distinguish between my tears and the water. I slide down until I’m sitting in the tub, knees up to my chin. I put my head in-between my knees and let the tears consume me until I have nothing left. How did I let everything fall apart so quickly? Maybe I’m the reason we could never work it out in the past. After throwing myself a pity party and sobbing until I can no longer make a sound come out, I clean my body and wash my hair. I grab a towel, dry off and escape to my room which doesn’t last long when Sarah barges in.

  “So how was the party lovely sister?” I need a lock on my door. I wrap the towel tightly around my body as I sit on my bed. “You mean the awesome party you missed?” I smile smugly.

  “It’s your fault I missed it. I could have gone with my friends and Lucas. He said he had the best night of his life, if I were there I would have shown him the best night of his life.” I smile and clench my teeth to keep from screaming at her. She doesn’t give a shit about him or anyone else. It excites me to know that he said he had the best night of his life, despite my attitude. I need to go fix things between us.

  I ignore her presence and sift through my closet for some clothes and find a nice black and purple dress and some leggings to go with it. I hear Sarah still flapping her mouth but I don’t pay attention to what comes out. I grab my clothes and vacate back to the bathroom. Once I have my clothes on, I blow dry my long blonde hair and apply my make up.

  Okay, you can do this Abby I tell my reflection. Phew. I let out a huge breath before heading out the door.

  “Honey, where are you going?” My mother stops me in time to see me dressed up. She looks me up and down and smiles. “There’s my Abigail. You clean up nicely. Where are you off to?”

  “I’ve got some errands to run. I’ll see you later.” I get in and shut the door before she has a chance to stop me again.

  I almost miss my exit, while I drive and try and rehearse what I’m going to say. I get off the highway when I hear my phone going off. Shit

  I forget I told Brady I’d call him. When I glance at the number, sure enough I am right. I sigh and call him back before I get to Lucas’s house.

  “Hey baby. I was just calling to see how you’re doing.”

  “I’m fine, just taking care of some stuff. How are you feeling today?” I ask even though his health is the furthest thing from my mind. When did I stop caring about people? It’s a weird feeling and I can’t tell if I like it or not.

  “Oh I’m doing better now. The party was pretty wild after you left. But I’m just glad it’s over. Are you doing anything tonight?” I think about my plans and since I’m not sure how things will go with Lucas, I can’t really say I’m free yet.

  “Um, actually I may need to take a rain check. But I will call you if I can hang out. Hey I gotta go Brady. Talk to you later.”

  “But-“

  Click

  I pull up to Lucas’s house, staring at it a few seconds. I will myself to get out of the car. Come on Abby you can do this, it’s Lucas

  I shut the door and head up the driveway, seeing Ashton in his car. I walk up and greet him. “Hey, long time no see.” He smiles at me and turns down his stereo. “Well, look what the cat dragged in. How the Hell have you been? Well besides looking hot, damn girl.” I laugh, and blush a slight shade of p
ink.

  “Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself. Where are you off to?”

  “Oh I’m going to my friend Jesse’s for some R&R. Actually, I don’t live here anymore remember? I just had to get some old stuff I left in the garage when I moved. You should come by the new place sometime. We are jazzing it up pretty nice.” So yeah, being invited to his place would have been quite a really big deal, way back when. I’d had a crush on Ashton, when I was younger, and when he first moved in with Lucas and his family. “That sounds like fun! I will have to check it out.” I smile at him and he looks at the house then back at me. “So you here to see Lucas, huh?” I nod, not saying a word.

  “Um, what the Hell is up with him dating your younger sister?” He asks as I cringe. “Yeah, don’t ask about that. I’m totally against it but whatever. My sister is using him just to piss me off.”

  He gestures to the seat next to him. “Come here, let’s talk.” I hesitate at first, and then think what the Hell. Maybe he can give me useful advice. I walk over to the passenger side and get in. His truck reminds me of Lucas’s car, very neat and tidy. “What is up with you guys and clean vehicles? I swear it must run in the family.” He laughs. “You know you love a clean guy, it’s what makes us sexy.” We both laugh until it lulls out to silence. “So spill.”

  “Excuse me?” I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be spilling but I wait for him to ask specific questions before laying it all out there. I may have said to Lucas that we needed to keep our relationship private, but I have a good feeling that telling Ash won’t hurt.

  “Ha ha, I mean what’s going on with you and my brother. I’m not an idiot, I may not live here anymore but I know my brother and he’s definitely got it bad for you.” This makes my heart swell a little.

  “Yeah, I’ve got it bad for him too. Actually, we kind of decided to secretly see each other.” He looks astonished for a minute and then raises his hand for a high five. I stare at his hand before slapping it. “Really? Abby is sneaking around? No way.” God, it’s not like I’ve never done anything risky before. I roll my eyes at him. “Well, if you don’t mind I’d like for you to keep it between us. I’m not ready to tell anyone yet.” He nods as if understanding and agreement.

  “Of course, no problem. So have you guys, you know-“ I stare at him blankly, then shake my head slowly. “No, we have not. I’d like that to be a special occasion.”

  “Cool. That’s really great Abby. I hope it works out for you two.” He smiles and pats me on the shoulder, like I’m just one of the guys hanging out.

  “Thanks, me too. I actually need to talk to him; we kind of had a fight last night.” He shakes his head then looks up as if he’s talking to the roof. “Teenagers.” I slap him before getting out. “Hey Abby!” He calls out as I step up on the porch. I turn around, “What?”

  “Enjoy being seventeen; the rest will work itself out.” I smile and wave. I turn and knock on the door.

  I stand silent, for what seemed like an eternity, then the door swings open and Lucas’s mother is standing there, with a bemused expression. She takes one look at me and her face lights up.

  “Oh my God, it’s Abby back from the dead. Well come here you!!” She grabs me in a hug and I try not to act spooked. “Hi Lana, it’s nice to see you too. Is Lucas home?” We walk in and she gestures to the staircase. “Yes, he’s in his room. Go ahead up there; I’m sure he’d love to see you.”

  “Thanks.” I say and slowly start up the stairs with my heart pounding in my ears, anxiety kicking in. I knock on the door and hear

  “Come in” so I open it and see Lucas sitting at his desk, reading. That’s a surprise. He looks up and sees me. “Hey, can I come in?” I ask hoping he doesn’t turn me away. “Hey! Come in, of course.” I shut the door behind me and stand awkwardly, almost feeling out of place. Lucas moves over to his bed and sits down patting the space next to him.

  ”Come sit down.” I do but hesitantly. “Abby, I’m not going to bite you.” I laugh and sit next to him.

  “Look, I’m sorry for how I acted last night. I was paranoid or scared or just-“ He cuts me off and kisses me gingerly and I realize how much I’ve missed his lips on mine. My hands rest in my lap while his are in my hair. Its kisses this sweet that leave me weak in the knees. He pulls back and my head bobs forward, then back, as I soon realize he’s stopped kissing me.

  “What were you saying?” He asks, grinning from ear to ear. I suddenly forget the reason why I came in here and randomly start talking about the conversation I had with Ashton. “I talked to Ashton. He invited me over to his new place. I think I might accept his invitation and get all cozy with him by the fireplace.” I say trying to get a rise out of him. “He doesn’t have one, it’s an apartment.” Damn, I guess he’s too smart to fall for my tricks. “But hey, if you want to hook up with him, don’t let me stop you.” He tries to act cool but I see a speck of jealousy in his eyes. Got him. Score for me. I get up and look around his room, which is like his car neat with everything in place. The walls are bare, painted a lighter shade of green than his truck.

  “What were you talking to him about anyway?” I glance at him and blink before I understand his question.

  “Oh I was just asking advice.” He raises his right eyebrow and purses his lips.

  “About? Did you tell him about us?”

  “More or less, he kind of guessed. I just confirmed. But he won’t say anything.” I look away and sit at his desk.

  “Right.” He sounds unsure. We are interrupted by the buzzing of my phone. Shit! I forgot about Brooke! I open my phone and check the text.

  “Hey, what are you doing? Want to go to the mall with me today?”

  I promptly write her back, “Yeah sure. Give me an hour and I will pick you up.” I close my phone and look at Lucas. “It was Brooke. I’m going to pick her up in an hour and hang out with her. I will try to come by later, if I can.”

  He smiles and pushes pieces of my hair behind my ear. “That would be great. Have fun with Brooke.” Then he kisses my temple. I suddenly want to cancel plans with Brooke and stay wrapped up in Lucas’s arms all night. But I don’t. I get up and walk to the door, pausing in the doorway, I turn around to look at him. “Wait for me Lucas.” He walks up to me, kissing me briefly on the lips and I lean into him wanting more. “I’ll always wait for you.” Then I leave with butterflies swarming in my belly and a goofy grin not even a tornado could wipe out.

  Chapter 14

  “So, what happened after I left? Brooke pauses for just a moment and then continues. “By the way, I’m so sorry for making a fool of myself. I feel embarrassed.” I laugh while walking around the mall with Brooke.

  “Oh, it’s fine. Brady stayed there and got high as a kite and totally drunk. I left, but I was pretty sober.” I was drunk on love that’s for sure. I thought. We went by the food court and my stomach started rumbling like crazy.

  “I love you and miss you.”

  A wide smile touched my lips after receiving a text from Lucas. He’s so sweet; I wish I could make our relationship official. But the timing seems off. So I just enjoy it in secret. “What are you smiling about?” Brooke asks, startling me and causing me to jump. “Oh I just got a text from Brady.” I lie. Guilt creeps up onto my face, causing me to curse myself for being a terrible friend. “Oh, so did y’all do it, at the party?” I give a small laugh and shake my head. “Nope. He was too busy hanging out with the guys.” She frowned. “He left you alone? You partied by yourself?” I nod and she buries her head in her hands.

  “I’m so sorry Abby. That’s fucked up. I wish I hadn’t left you. Gee this is-“

  “It’s fine. I had fun anyway and when I was ready, I went home. No big deal Brooke. Let’s get some food.” I walk and try to decide what to eat. I start thinking about the night I shared with Lucas, which happened to be the best night of my life. When I remember his hands on my bare skin, my body tingles all over and my lips feel hot and moist. I stand still and nonchalantly, to
uch my lip and smile. Brooke stops short, studying me. “Hm, something’s not right. You’re thinking about Lucas aren’t you?” I quickly put my arm down by my side and start walking off ignoring her. “Ha! I knew it! You can’t fool me!”

  “Drop it Brooke! You don’t know what you’re talking about.” But she could see right through the bull shit. Still I didn’t let her know that she was right.

  “Ooh, I want chicken. I’ll meet you at a table in a few minutes.” She walks away to the chicken place while I stand here dumbfounded and unsure about what I want to eat.

  “I miss you too. Brooke won’t shut up about you. But I can’t stop smiling and thinking about that wonderful night with you. Can’t wait to see you later.”

  I text him back really quick and finally choose Subway to eat. I feel like being a little more healthy than I normally would be while shopping. I order my food and find Brooke.

  “Over here.” I hear Brooke yell. I sit at the table across from her and start inhaling my food. Brooke gives me an incredulous look.

  “Damn, you’re really hungry!” I snort and keep stuffing my face, dismissing her remarks. As long as I have a mouth full of food, she can’t pester me about Lucas or Brady.

  I drop Brooke off at home after spending hours in Forever 21 while she is trying on outfit after outfit. It was a battle, Brooke always takes a long time trying on clothes. Of course I love to try on stuff and feel sexy when I get new clothes, but the actual trying on part sucks! I’d rather buy them then try them on at home and if it doesn’t fit, I take it back for another size. Not Brooke, she would live in a dressing room if she could. I get home and find Brady sitting on my porch bench. My heart races and I start to wonder if he suspects something.

  “Hey.” I say as I walk up the steps. His expression is unreadable and I start to panic.