The Amazing Adventure

by Adam Clark

  ***

  Chainsaw-boy coughed, a full body racking cough that caused him to convulse and roll over, he was on all fours and eventually regained control of his respiratory system. He looked around at the snowy shelf he was kneeling on, it jutted out of a very steep, white and windy slope. There was a single pine tree breaking out from the snowy blanket that shared the shelf with him. Looking around further he noticed that he was a very long way up a large mountain.

  He found he could stand, and stood, shin deep in snow facing out from the jutting edge of the shelf. Standing in the shade provided by the lee-side slope of the mountain he looked out across a huge plain. Closest to him down on the plain, and slightly towards the left, a giant hole opened up into the earth. A little way behind that was a very odd sight that he’d never seen before. An upside down mountain-like pyramid stood, held up by two giant arms that came straight out of the earth.

  What an odd sight, he thought to himself, then suddenly it hit home. He’d done that! His plan had paid off and they’d destroyed the giant. He gave a slight whoop and pumped his arm in celebration. The following thoughts were not so grand, and mainly consisted of what the hell he was going to do now. Then as more gears clicked into place he remembered about the others.

  Thinking back, it occurred to Chainsaw-Boy that, at no point in his association with the group, had he mentioned his amazing healing abilities. In fact, he’d forgotten he had them as well. Looking down, he checked his elbow watch, it was lunchtime the next day.

  Dammit, they’d surely given up looking for him by now, and they most probably had the Cajones of the Great Wolf as well. Knowing the seriousness of their quest, he figured they would already be on their way to find the next piece by now. Chainsaw-Boy resigned himself to what was looking like a long future with only snow-angels and snowmen for company.

  He sat kneeled down to wipe the blood off his chainsaws, brushed the snow off the edge of the jutting ledge and sat down, dangling his legs over the two hundred foot drop.

  “Think you’re brave enough to jump off?” Chainsaw-boy looked around, unflinching at this surprise sound.

  “Who is that?” He asked the chill air.

  “Turn around,” said a strong but polite voice, a voice resonating with respect. Getting up and turning around, he found himself face to face with a large wolf. The wolf stood taller than him, had a thick shaggy mane that was pure white, apart from tinges of red at the edges, and down by his paws. He was flanked by a smaller blue tinged wolf on his left and a yellow tinged one on the other side. Chainsaw-boy recognised the wolf on the left as the one they’d met earlier in the cave.

  “We are the great wolves.” It said, “we saw what you did, and would like to thank you for, ahem, assisting us.” The turned to shoot a quick glare at the blue tinged wolf, who looked rather sheepish for a wolf.

  “Thanks, but where were you guys yesterday? I mean, we all thought you were dead.”

  “Allow me to prove a point.” The wolf bared his teeth, started snarling, and leapt at Chainsaw-Boy, his jaws open, sharp canines glinting. He launched himself directly for Chainsaw-Boy’s throat, claws out first, as fast as a blur. Chainsaw-Boy stood firm, aware that, at the speed the Wolf was going there was nothing he could do. He did have time for one last thought as he closed his eyes though, wolves are asshats.

  He kept his eyes closed for about 4 seconds before opening them again, to see the wolf standing in front of him again.

  “Yes, we are dead, and you have answered a vital question I had about you.” The wolf spoke assuredly, “how do you feel now? I’m talking emotionally, not physically.”

  “Well, I kind of fancy Illana, but I think that she might be more impressed with Grigor, even though we’re closer. Grigor just seems to get all the girls.” The wolf stared at him, slightly dumbfounded.

  “You humans are idiots. I’m not talking emotionally, I mean, how do you feel about… things...” The wolf trailed off, regained his thoughts and spoke again. “Look, I tried being mysterious, but you are too stupid for that so I’ll lay it out for you. You now have the Cajones of the Great Wolf, which were once mine, you are now one of the bravest things in the universe. Don’t abuse this power.”

  The wolf was still riled by the failure of his reincarnation yesterday and wasn’t in the mood to drag this out. “Now we must go.” The trio faded away in front of Chainsaw-Boy’s eyes.

  “How am I supposed to get back?” he called out to the empty air where the wolves stood only seconds ago.

  “As a conveniently developing plot device, you can now fly, think of it as a reward for being super brave.” The nothingness called back, “also, this sticker.”

  Chainsaw-Boy looked down, and there on his jacket was a small round gold sticker, with a smiling star on it. Around the edge it had the words: I gave it my best effort.

  “Uh…Thanks guys.” Chainsaw-Boy called out.

  “No worries.” The voice dragged out the last syllable until it turned it a ghostly oohh that eventually faded out.

  Turning around, Chainsaw-Boy faced the edge, and ran for it. It was until he’d jumped that he realised that maybe the wolves were bullshitting him.