All the Way

by Beverly Bird

  Think about it. Liv jerked away from the lawyer. There was nothing to consider.

  She had a sudden, mental flash of a day long ago in her own life, of lawyers in their suits—one had smelled relentlessly of mothballs—and of a dour-faced judge who’d looked like he’d had a few years on Methuselah. She remembered a social worker with icy hands holding one of hers. “Your Honor, we’ve determined that the minor has only one remaining relative.”

  “Does this relative admit kinship?”

  “Yes, Your Honor, she’s the child’s maternal grandmother. She’s willing to take custody.”

  Liv flinched visibly as that long-ago gavel cracked again in her memory. She’d been in a car with the social worker, heading north for the Res that very afternoon. No one had stuck her with needles, but that courtroom had changed her life.

  She would not let this one affect Vicky. She’d fight it until the last possible moment.

  “Hunter has never backed down from a fight in his life,” she said hoarsely.

  “You’re saying that, even if we delay the proceedings with this test, he’ll hang around?”

  “If he doesn’t, he’ll just come back for the hearing at the appointed time.”

  “You want to place the admittance on the record, then.”

  Liv took a shuddering breath. “I have to.” She was the only one willing to give her heart and soul to protect her daughter.

  Chapter 6

  T he judge spared Vicky the test.

  She seemed to approve of Liv’s decision. Liv found herself wondering if that was a good omen as she left chambers. Hunter went off with his own lawyer, and she refused to meet his eyes, though she felt his gaze probing at her.

  What had she just done? It was entirely possible that she had given herself less than one more precious week with her daughter. She felt sick. She watched Ingrid sail off down the hall to another hearing and forced herself to keep walking, as well, before her legs had the chance to give out from beneath her completely.

  She stepped outside into the sunshine and blinked in the brightness. The day should be cold and damp and dreary, she thought. It should be raining. The angels should be crying.

  “You surprise me, Livie.”

  She gasped at Hunter’s voice and jerked around. He was leaning against one of the white stone pillars. Lying in wait for her. She should have known that he wouldn’t go away easily, that he wouldn’t leave her alone in her misery.

  He pushed off the pillar and came toward her. “Montague says you could have dragged this out for another month if you had gone for that test.”

  “At whose expense?” Liv hissed, feeling adrenaline shoot back into her blood. “You would have let her be stuck with needles, a strange doctor poking at her—”

  “It’s a simple procedure, Liv,” he interrupted. “Painless.”

  “Tell that to an eight-year-old who hates needles!”

  She had the satisfaction of seeing him flinch.

  “I didn’t know,” he said finally. “And I blame you for that.”

  Liv clapped her hands to her ears. She couldn’t stand any more accusations. Her muscles hurt with the strain of tension. There was a constriction in her throat and she couldn’t swallow around it. She turned her back to him.

  Then words scraped out of her, anyway. “I always knew you’d be furious if you found out the truth. But I never thought you’d try to destroy her, us.”

  “You were the one who said this wasn’t about you and me.”

  His voice was so close behind her, she would have felt his breath on her nape if her hair hadn’t been in the way. Liv cupped her elbows in her hands and realized she was shaking. Flu, she thought again. She couldn’t stand knowing that his nearness still affected her. “You changed that. You’re doing this to punish me, and you’re using Vicky for a pawn.”

  “Turn around, Liv. Let me see your eyes when you say that.”

  “No.”

  “Damn it, turn around!”

  She jumped a little, but she didn’t move. He didn’t want to touch her again. He didn’t want to put his palm on her shoulder and make her do it. He still hadn’t gotten past the insanity of that moment when he’d kissed her. Sometimes, in his sleep, he was sure he could still smell the spicy hint of her perfume. Waking at dawn, he could still feel her breath mingling with his own.

  But she wasn’t going to budge, so he stepped around her again, holding on to her elbow to keep her from running. He felt the heat of her through her clothing. “Just once, before we leave this courthouse,” he grated, “we’re going to be honest with each other.”

  Her chin lifted, even though her skin was waxen. “What for?”

  “I want to end this. All you have to do to stop it is let me have some time with her.”

  “No,” she whispered wretchedly.

  “That’s it? You’re not going to give an inch? Ah, Livie. Who’s punishing who, here?”

  She felt as though he had slapped her. Her face stung as blood flew into her cheeks again, because her skin had been cold as death just a moment before. “I’m trying to protect her!”

  “From me? When did you get it in your head that I was such an ogre?”

  “You bastard. Don’t twist this around on me! You know why I don’t want her to learn to love you! Look what it did to me! You’ll leave her!”

  He touched her again. This time it was reflex, desperation, a helpless feeling that he hadn’t once felt since he’d walked out of that Flagstaff resort. She’d been everything he’d ever needed, and now she was trying to rob him of things he hadn’t known he wanted.

  And he knew—he knew—that she was doing it for no other reason than to watch him bleed for some age-old slight that had been at her own instigation.

  How the hell had they ever come to this?

  His hands found her shoulders, and he shook her a little. “Of course I will—temporarily! I have a life on the circuit! I’ll be back!”

  “That’s not enough! I want her to have a normal life!”

  “By whose standards?”

  His words lashed at her. She couldn’t breathe. “Mine.” Yes, she thought helplessly, yes, hers. She’d given everything to ensure Vicky had a normal life. She’d turned her back on the only man she’d ever loved. And she was damned if she was going to let him undo that now.

  “You’re willing to risk losing her entirely rather than give her something different?” His voice was too quiet. “You’re free now, Liv. Free of the Res. Let your own horrors go.”

  She pulled away from his hands and whipped around again, then her feet stalled. She turned back. “What are you going to do if you win this, Hunter? Are you going to drag Vicky from city to city with you every weekend while you race?”

  His jaw hardened. “She’ll travel with me.”

  “What about her schooling?”

  “Tutors.”

  Her laugh was giddy. “Those are your standards?”

  “If that’s the only way she can know her father, yes.”

  She’d meant to be the one who walked away first. But he stepped past her and trotted down the steps. Arrogant, she thought again. Sure.

  He would have made a hell of a gambler, she thought. To her knowledge, it was the one thing he had never tried.

  Liv barely let Vicky out of her sight for the rest of the week. She wasn’t protecting her from Hunter’s sudden appearance any longer. She knew him too well to believe that he would do anything other than wait now, like a wildcat watching its prey, knowing his moment would come. She did it because she was spending every last minute with Vicky that God would give her.

  “You’re overdramatizing,” Kiki said Thursday night, making them a pot of tea. The weather had turned suddenly into winter, as it could do in Arizona’s higher elevations. It had been sixty degrees that morning. Now the dark sky outside the windows was gathering moodily into heavy clouds.

  Liv took her cup. “Thanks for staying over again.”

  “Think nothing
of it. It’s not like I’m a single woman in a town full of sexy-hunk tourists or anything.”

  Liv shot her a look, then sat at the table. She curled her legs beneath her. She sipped, wondering if the warmth would melt some of the ice in her chest. “Let’s talk about the weather. I don’t want to think about tomorrow.”

  “That’s because you’re leaping to panicked, farfetched conclusions that have very little basis in reality.”

  Liv sighed. “Kiki, this situation isn’t a scientific equation. There are variables. Personalities.”

  “Equations can have variables.”

  “Excuse me. I didn’t go to college. I learned this business by the seat of my pants.”

  “Thank our stars for that. Someone’s got to shmooze with the guests. In the meantime, use that people-instinct you’ve got going for you to throw a sensible light on this situation. What judge in her right mind would yank a little girl out of school and a consistent home life to send her out on the NASCAR circuit with a tutor? Ten bucks says the lady judge will just order you to let him see her whenever he’s in town.”

  Liv’s heart skittered. “Thank you for the vote of confidence.” She stood suddenly. “I’m going to go hug her good-night.”

  “You did that already. She’s been asleep for an hour now.”

  “Sometimes she reads with the flashlight under the covers.”

  “Stop it. You’re making yourself crazy.” Kiki surged to her feet, and Liv suddenly found herself in her arms for a hard, quick hug.

  Kiki was not a physical person. She was glib, strong, fiercely independent. She was the most solid friend Liv had ever known. But she didn’t hug, which only told Liv that Kiki thought she really needed it right now…and that she was afraid, too.

  Liv felt tears sting at her eyes. “You’re hurting me.”

  Kiki stepped back. “I’m half your size.”

  “You’re hurting my heart.”

  Ten bucks says the lady judge will just order you to let him see her whenever he’s in town.

  Not you, Livie. You’re the only one who ever knew when I was gone.

  The voices, the words, tangled in Liv’s head as she arrived in the courthouse coffee shop the next morning for the custody hearing. Kiki would be coming, too, as soon as she finished up with breakfast at the inn. Liv wished desperately that her friend was here now. Instead Ingrid was waiting for her.

  Hunter and Montague were nowhere to be found. Liv’s gaze cruised for them, then she let out a bated breath.

  “Montague and your ex are in the courtroom,” Ingrid said, standing from her table. She gathered up her briefcase and tossed her coffee cup in a trash can. Liv followed her down the corridor.

  It was something she couldn’t quite wrap her mind around, she thought. In all the days that had passed since that meeting in chambers, she kept trying to imagine life without her daughter. Every time she bumped up against the concept, everything inside her recoiled from it in pain.

  She knew that what Kiki had said last night made absolute sense. And she did not believe that Woodingham was insane. But she felt the life she had built for herself and for Vicky spilling through her fingers like sand, and panic built inside her.

  They stepped into the courtroom. Hunter and Montague were seated. Liv fumbled with the chair beside Ingrid’s at the defense table and sat, as well, just as Judge Woodingham swept into the courtroom, her robe flowing.

  There was the usual legalese. Liv waited through it, her pulse hitching erratically. Finally Woodingham rapped her gavel.

  “Hearing postponed,” she said mildly.

  Montague and Ingrid were on their feet as though someone had lit fires under their respective chairs. “What?” Montague demanded.

  Woodingham waved a hand as though she found him tedious. “Sit down, Counselor, and hear me out.” She glanced at Ingrid. “If you want equal time to give me an outburst of your own, please do so now so we can move on.”

  Ingrid shook her head. “Not at this time, Your Honor.”

  Liv thought wildly that she thought she saw the judge smile.

  Woodingham looked at Montague again. “I’ve read the defendant’s responding papers to your petition, Mr. Montague. Ms. Small has a point. Your client is in no way prepared to raise a child on his own, given his choice of career. He has not married and has no spouse to assist in this endeavor. My feeling is that he really hasn’t thought this through, that he filed the petition under emotional impetus. I don’t blame him for that, but you should have known better. In any case, I won’t remand custody of this child to a housekeeper or a baby-sitter, or send her on a lickety-split, round-the-country excursion while she should be in school.”

  Liv hadn’t believed her heart could beat any faster. But it did, and she felt even more light-headed. This was good!

  “However,” Woodingham continued, “I do want to give this little girl every opportunity to know her father. I can’t choose sides in this matter when the plaintiff has had absolutely no contact with the child to date. So how about if we give him some? Say, the next ninety days. If Mr. Hawk-Cole still wants to pursue this matter then, I’ll rule at the end of that time.”

  Liv’s heart stopped racing. It seized on midbeat. She was going to take Vicky away from her for three months!

  Montague looked elated. Ingrid’s complexion was livid. Judge Woodingham held up a hand to forestall more argument. “Here’s how we’re going to do this. You—” she lifted her gavel and twirled it in Hunter’s general direction “—are going to reside in Ms. Slade’s home for the next ninety days, with the child, so Victoria Rose can get to know you on her own turf, without her life being uprooted in any way. And both of you—” this time she included Liv in the gavel motion “—are going to make very sure, during that time, of your motives in this war before I alter the child’s life. This matter is hereby postponed.” She clunked the gavel again.

  Montague couldn’t hold his tongue any longer. “Your Honor! That’s not acceptable! My client has a very demanding career, and he needs to get back to it within the next couple of weeks! Literally hundreds of thousands of dollars of income rest on that!”

  “Point denied,” Woodingham said. “Ask your client which is more important—his career or the child he purports to want a relationship with.”

  “Judge!” Ingrid shouted. “You can’t order two unmarried people to cohabit!”

  “Of course I can. I’m presiding judge. And let’s keep in mind that they got rather intimate without a marriage license eight and half years ago. Your point is denied, as well, Counselor, especially in light of the fact that Ms. Slade cohabits with strangers on a regular basis. I believe you own a bed-and-breakfast, Ms. Slade?”

  “I—” Liv began, but the judge cut her off. It was just as well. She was going to throw up, anyway.

  “I fail to see the difference between Mr. Hawk-Cole taking a room and a tourist from Topeka.”

  “Ms. Slade’s rooms are reserved months in advance, Your Honor,” Ingrid argued. “She’s booked through the winter. It would be detrimental to her business to ask her to cancel reservations to accommodate Mr. Hawk-Cole.”

  “She’ll have to. And his income will be taking something of a hit here, as well,” Judge Woodingham replied. “So let’s keep things even. Yes, I like that idea.”

  “Why is it necessary for him to live there?” Ingrid was almost begging now.

  “Because he wants to be a father.” Woodingham rose from the bench. “This arrangement will begin within seventy-two hours, no later than Monday. Mr. Montague, you brought this petition before me so you can see my clerk for a return date. I’ll render a decision in ninety days.”

  The judge left the room. Liv looked up dazedly at Ingrid. “This is insane.”

  “Well,” the lawyer said, “I did warn you about her. And you didn’t lose custody.”

  “Not yet.” Liv swallowed. Her throat felt like sandpaper. “You’re fired.”

  Hunter was thunderstruck. He was als
o angrier than he had been since…well, since Liv had walked out of the Spirit Room at the Connor Hotel after refusing to work with him on this and tossing a drink in his face. Then he had handled it by going after her and kissing her—but he was damned if he was going to pucker up for Montague’s pudgy little mouth.

  “Hold it right there!” he warned as the man headed down the courthouse steps ahead of him. “Think twice if you’re planning to just walk away after that debacle!”

  Montague paused, glanced at his watch, and looked back at him. “I have an appointment in fifteen minutes.”

  Hunter trotted down the steps to catch up with him, feeling like a jerky marionette as rage yanked at his muscles. He fisted his hands so he wouldn’t grab the man by the shirtfront. “You told me there was no way in hell that judge was going to disallow me time with my daughter!”

  Montague blinked at him owlishly. “Well, she didn’t.”

  “She put me on some kind of probation!”

  “She’s giving you a chance to live with Victoria Rose.”

  “I’d have to live with her mother, too!” The mere thought made panic cavort in his chest. It raced around in circles in there, and it had claws.

  “I warned you when you asked me to file this suit that if we pulled this judge in the rotation, anything was likely to happen,” Montague said.

  “You said we’d win!”

  “We did.”

  “Like hell! Can I get out of this?”

  “Certainly. You can walk away from the whole affair. No one can make you move into that inn.”

  They couldn’t, Hunter thought. They damned well couldn’t.

  “Or we can appeal Woodingham’s decision,” Montague continued.

  Hunter liked that idea even better. For the first time in ten minutes, he actually felt his lungs expel breath. “How long will that take?”

  “The Appellate Court limps along. Depending on their docket, three to five months. And I’ve got to tell you, they’d likely uphold. This was a fair decision.”

  “Fair for who?” Hunter roared.

  “For the child, of course. I’ve heard of the Copper Rose. It’s got five guest rooms and a handful of private suites. The judge has a point. It would hardly be like sharing an apartment with the woman.”