by Ross, Janice
“You know I can’t wait around like this, right?” I kept the words low and spaced out. This shit was about to send me into a mindset I hadn’t known since I was a teenager. I wanted to hug her. My arms needed to be around her. My lips desired to be pressed over every inch of her body. But first, I had to handle this violation.
“What . . . the . . . hell?” In the midst of the sobbing, she spoke with long pauses. The effects provided sharp jabs to my heart.
“I’ll fix it,” I promised. She had to know, like I did. This wasn’t some random thing. Kasha hadn’t ever screwed over another soul, so I knew this had to be on me. I was the asshole responsible for violating her safety, even when I hadn’t done the damage.
Damn!
I needed to be of sound mind. Flipping out was not an option, even as she shrank into my wide grip. She’d already soaked up my chest with her sobs. I knew to be patient with her and the situation. In the meantime, I planned for later this day. Anger couldn’t control me. Kasha didn’t deserve that man. She shouldn’t have to see him or be around him. I’d spent the past several years forgetting that bastard who reacted first and foremost. I’d seen enough and done enough to understand the importance of remaining calm. She was bound to freak out, if only I lost control. So I kissed her some more to set her mind at ease.
When sirens broke into the silence, I pulled away and whispered, “Kash, take a deep breath. Breathe.”
Apparently one of the neighbors had called the police when things first happened. Turns out, a large rock about the size of mini-boulder had been used. I knew the one. She’d had me paint Welcome on the front of it, then place it on the top step at the front of the house. The entire top half of Kasha’s door had been ruined. The only pieces to hang on were the edgings.
While they examined the door and searched for clues, we’d quickly gotten dressed. Can’t say I wasn’t uncomfortable around them. One in particular threw shady glances my way. What the hell could I do, besides return his shady behavior? This man I’d become could deal. He better be glad I wasn’t ‘the one I used to be.
Thirty minutes passed.
We crept up on an hour.
For a good chunk of the time, they observed the house—everywhere but the damn door. I practiced taking long, calming breaths. Tried not to allow his scrutinizing to affect me. And when they drilled her with the same questions, I paced the floor to keep from exploding.
“Is there a problem?” one of them asked.
“Yeah, I believe so.” What I wanted to say would get me locked up, so I held onto the disdain.
He sized me up, then refocused on Kasha.
I tried not to make it seem obvious. I couldn’t wait for the police to leave out. I noticed the shiftiness of my pupils when I saw my reflection in a nearby mirror and even the shakiness of my hands. It wasn’t that I was nervous, more like pissed. This wasn’t a coincidence, nor was Kasha plagued with enemies.
“You’re certain you don’t know who might’ve done this?”
“Four times. Do you think her answer’s gonna change?” I barked.
“We got a job to do,” the one shot out at me.
“All you’ve done is take turns repeating the same bullshit question.”
“That’s enough out of you,” he replied, moving at me like he wanted to take me down.
If it weren’t for Kasha throwing her body to my chest, trailing the tips of her fingers along my collarbone, and blowing a tender plea to “stay calm” up to my lips, my ass might’ve been laid out on the floor. My anger revolved around her; what could’ve been a significant harm to her. And I was the jackass that put her in harm’s way. She’d been suckered into my drama. But I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever want to walk away. I only needed them gone. Now!
But as the inquisitive one kept peering at me, I didn’t look away. I forced myself to maintain eye contact. Honestly, was I supposed to tell them about the evening? Shit, I couldn’t incriminate Erika, not after what I’d done, even though she was suspect number one. This was my case to handle.
“One last time,” the other one continued.
There was a time in life, when I was much younger and fearless, when I would’ve given officer-in-the-face a run for his money. But instead of taking that chance with my past, I forced out all of the hurtful memories. But now, I couldn’t help but feel like I’d done something remarkable in life to have gotten Kasha. I refused to screw things up.
“There was a guy—” Kasha mumbled.
“I’m gonna need you to speak up, ma’am.” The shortest officer stepped in front of Kasha. His complexion was pasty white, set off by a thin, almost invisible frown, except for the harsh lines at the sides.
“Give her some room to think,” I said, and yanked her away.
“Well, how are we supposed to investigate if she doesn’t?” The shorter followed. Not only was he an in-the-face type of bastard, the guy wore an incredibly uncomfortable stare that could be considered as his best intimidation tactic. “We’re not leaving without full disclosure.”
I’d had enough. We were being treated like criminals. The dark, ugly chemistry between this joker and myself should have nothing to do with him doing the job he was paid to do. I adjusted Kasha behind me to finalize things. “This is bull. Someone throws a big-ass rock into her house and you’re harassing her?”
“You’re a minute away from—”
“From what?” I took a step toward them and raised my hands in surrender. They could see I wasn’t a threat. My only clothes were a tee shirt and boxers; nothing more, nothing less. “Seems like you’re in the habit of intimidating people that don’t know any better.” I stepped around slowly.
“Punks like you do nothing for me.” The cop reached into his pocket, pulled out a card and motioned up to his partner. While still looking at Kasha, he knitted his brow then stated, “I’m sure you’ll be in touch.” They turned and exited through the fragments of broken glass and out the front door.
By the time Kasha returned from the bathroom, where she’d gone to wash her face. She came out with an oversized, plush pink towel secured from armpits to knees. Her hair was dripping wet, while her fingers trembled. She chewed on her bottom lip. But when I tried to talk with her, I barely got a grunt. I saw the wheels turning. She looked to the wall, the floor, the ceiling, and even out into the morning sunlight. A wedge of separation rested between us.
“I’m sorry. I’ll fix this.” If nothing else, I had my word. This was more than a promise. “I swear.”
She dipped further from me, leaving a wide, empty grasp. “Knox, did that have to do with Erika?” Kasha’s voice cracked when she reached the name she wasn’t in the habit of speaking out loud.
“Kash, let me deal with this.”
“I made a bad choice. This was a mis—”
Before Kasha could finish, I grabbed her with both hands. The towel drifted to the ground.
“I’m not letting go,” I bit out. We gazed intently to one another. Kasha’s chest rose and dipped. Her lips parted, while her eyelids batted.
“We can’t do this. You need to leave and forget we were ever friends.” She swallowed. “I won’t bother you again. I promise.”
“That’s not an option. How can you expect me to just leave? No. No.” I wasn’t prepared to argue, nor would I appease her. Even when Kasha tossed her head from side to side, I captured her cheeks. “It’s me and you, Kash,” I moaned against her lips.
Before I said another word, Kasha began kissing my face. I lifted her into my arms, then turned for the bed.
The sheets remained tossed from earlier, but I lay her on top. With her back pressed into the mattress, I slowly got onto my knees and commenced to spread her wide.
My lips passed along her inner thighs. I reached up, between her legs and for the treasure awaiting just for me. I placed a flurry of kisses the entire way up.
“Knox.” Her words were introduced along with tears and wild passion. She tugged at my hair, at my ears, at any
thing she could reach. While Kasha’s body listened to the relentless orders of my tongue moving in and outside of her. I assaulted her the only way I knew how, with love and a passion reserved for the one. My core became overtaken by an electric force controlled only by the girl that could love me into submission. I returned the love. Not anyone before, especially not the one I’d promised to marry, was capable of getting my all. Nor was I willing to take it all, with the exception of Kasha Davies. My mental tirades only increased the urgency of this love. I loved her cries, loved her fight and loved the way her juices flowed when I forced her to release.
“I. Love. You,” I mumbled to her clit. It was just the right pressure, being applied in just the right way to keep her weak and under the influence of lust.
Kasha laid there motionless with her slender thighs thrown over my shoulders. The walls pulsated all around us, similar to the movement of her inner thigh. A blanket of love fell down upon us.
“I need to go on the road. Let’s get you dressed.”
“Let me sleep, please?” she cried out.
“Are you crazy? Do you think I’m leaving you here by yourself?” I sat up immediately.
“Knox, I’m tired.”
After picking up her body only to place her down on the top portion of the bed, close to the pillows, I studied the tiny frame of the woman I adored. No frickin’ way. I couldn’t fathom leaving her alone. I shook my head. She licked her lips, tucking beneath the sheets.
“Teagan can stay with me,” she spoke in a sleepy tone.
“Call her.” I didn’t really know Teagan’s qualifications enough to put my trust in her, but reasoned that someone needed to be there with Kasha. And though I could take her along with me, the upcoming battle with Erika might not be ideal for Kasha either. So I took her phone from the end table.
She slowly took it and slid her thumb across the screen. She only managed to whisper into the line enough to let Teagan know the basics. That included sharing the tidbit about me.
I let her fall asleep from there. The entire time, my mind flushed over with things I could never say out loud, at least not to Kasha. I waited until we received confirmation that Teagan was close. Kash woke right up when I got ready to head out. I kept calm for the most part, but ripped out of that place when she was out of sight.
I ultimately had to shift focus. Although I’d originally felt like shit over the incident, the bull that Erika pulled earlier quickly helped to erase things. There was no question as to who was the culprit. I slid behind the wheel then inhaled and exhaled deeply. That wouldn’t do jack to ease the tension, but I might have gone ballistic. Redirecting the energy had to be a good thing. Right? Or should I just let it go?
No, I needed to remain calm in order to confront Erika. In less than a year, we’d come far. She’d done nothing but reintroduce drama into my life. The obligation I once felt for her had dried right up. No more. I knocked the handle of the wheel. Hell no. I’d given up on a relationship, under the disguise of a friendship, with Kasha to be the savior to another woman. I’d convinced myself that Erika needed me and I needed her; when in fact, we had no right to be together.
~
Kasha
~
“I’m okay.” I posed for Tea, giving a healthy view.
In usual fashion, she gave a blank type of stare with an exaggerated smirk. I responded with a shrug.
“Let me get this straight, you finally screwed Knox and this crap happened. To top things off, all you can say is I’m okay?” Tea leaned in through the jagged hole just slightly. “Do we need to search out the person that chose to do unscheduled renovations on your house?”
This gave me life. I could barely hold the laughter. From the minute this happened I’d wanted to call her, even before Knox made the suggestion. But how was I supposed to sneak that in? He knew zip about Van or my past life. The only ones who knew even a portion of my trials and were still a part of me were Tea and my mother, who had most likely journeyed to oblivion. I’d already given much thought before Knox made me call. I knew she wasn’t too close when she’d initially said so. Tea never did exactly as she was told. In this case especially, there was no “I’ll be right there”. The sun had come up, so I didn’t mind. There was no way the bastard would return so soon either.
“I wanna check the back of the house,” she called, preparing to head down the front stairs.
“Get in here and stop being overly dramatic.” Overly dramatic was an understatement. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever gotten over the way she’d rescued me from Van. She gave life to everything, including my simple existence. The combination of her and Knox brought security to my world. I would even go as far as saying hope.
Knox had left out to go “deal with things”, and actually, I welcomed her trash talking sass. Now wasn’t the time to smile; still, one spread over my face. And for just that moment, I didn’t consider the fact that on the night I got busy with the guy I’d secretly wanted for so long, my past might’ve reappeared in a major way. Yet here I was, smiling . . . laughing because of my faithful bestie. I often wondered if, in fact, Teagan’s purpose in life was to force me to let go of the small things.
Tea tiptoed over the threshold, overpowering the room in bright pink VS sweats and a white V-neck with pink lettering. She carried a matching cloth bag and scuttled through in white push-toe sandals. This was Teagan Boone, every day, all day. She had this remarkable ability to catch the attention of most, whether good or bad.
“Any leads?” Tea stepped through the open-spaced design of the home. Her sandals tapped along with the movements, causing a hollow echo to travel into the air. With each step, she paused and studied me, clicking her tongue to the roof of her mouth.
“I made it clear to Knox that I didn’t know who did this,” I offered up. I’d already warned her in our own little, elusive way. I wanted him to believe it was a random thing. I wished Tea would feel the same. No one and nothing needed this much power over our minds and actuality. But even if the two people closest to me believed in my hope of a random occurrence, I would know better. “Random?” I whined.
“Yeah, random my ass,” Teagan teased in a less than lighthearted manner, appearing to have had the same flashback as her friend. “I don’t believe that douche bag from Florida waited five years to track you down and throw a frickin’ rock in your window, only to leave.”
“I know, you’re right. It was a huge guy, on a bike. He had someone short accompanying him, maybe some chick—”
“Erika!”
“We don’t know that.”
“I know you’re not stupid, Kash. And much as you want this to not be the case, Knox’s chick is psycho.”
“Wouldn’t you do the same thing? Seriously, Teagan, I screwed her man.”
“Technically, he was yours first. You were just too stupid to accept that major fact.”
“Arghhh!”
“Scream. Curse. Pitch a bitch. I don’t care. You’re perhaps one of the most stubborn people I know.” Teagan’s cheeks turned rosy red. Her gray irises swirled with smoke. She forced me to look into her eyes by remaining in my path. This wasn’t a debate, as far as my best friend was concerned.
I was not in the mood to argue, so I shifted around her. I then gathered up my hair from mid-way down my back, making a quick swoop into a loose bun. Neither of us spoke again just yet. I led the way; she followed. We walked into the kitchen, to the table. Tea pulled out a chair and quickly plopped down. She dropped her overloaded purse on a kitchen stool. Her hair was perfectly dyed blonde and also pulled into a loose ponytail. And without a smidgen of makeup, Tea was the friend that many envied, though few understood.
Being her normally exuberant self, she exhaled. When I didn’t reply, she demanded, “The only way you can keep me quiet is to feed me.” Tea smirked. She folded one arm over the other.
“The only reason I’m putting up with you today is because I need this distraction.” I hid the emotions—nothing too high p
itched and definitely nothing too low. I started opening cabinet doors, searching through the freezer and readying things. “Friends, who needs them?” I mumbled out loud, but to myself,
“You do, chick. Anyway, you and Knox?” I knew it would only be a matter of time before she went there.
I nodded, and just about joked.
“And?” She propped up her elbows on the table. I glared at her; her eyes reflected my own.
“What do you expect me to say?” I stomped to the middle of the kitchen. My arms fanned outward from my hips. To this point, my heart hadn’t stopped pounding. A breeze passed underneath my tee shirt, whilst the area between my legs turned to putty under the cotton shorts. I no longer wanted to dwell on the time with Knox.
His skin.
His hair.
His strokes.
His tongue.
His everything.
There were important matters to tackle, yet my night and subsequent morning gave me life. But Tea would never let me get away with not giving up the details.
“Part of me is proud, while the other part is pissed as hell,” she confessed.
“Proud?”
“Hell yeah! You claimed what you wanted. I just hope you were the best damn hoe you could be.”
“You’re frickin’ kidding me, right?” I was ready to throw myself on the cold tile floor, roll around and holler over the insanity coming from my friend’s mouth.
“Why would I?” In the midst of her madness, she kept a straight face; not the slightest hint of shame. Just a bland, straight line for lips, without the hint of curves for a smile or dip for a frown.
“Girlfriend, I’m not playing these little girl games with you. I’m living through you.”
“Me, Teagan Boone?”
“Yes you, Kasha Davies. I’ve been on a drought for about eighteen months, since I left Daniel.”
“Then get another Daniel or Tom or whoever the hell you want, but you need to give me the scoop, please and thank you.” Any amount of stress that had remained whisked away. A low giggle escaped my lips, bursting into hysterical laughter.