Booth Tarkington

by Booth Tarkington

  This was all that really happened for Uncle Billy during the turmoil and scramble that went on about him all the day long. He had not been forced to discover a way to meet an offer of $1,500, without hurting the putative donor’s feelings. No lobbyist had the faintest idea of “approaching” the old man in that way. The members and the hordes of camp-followers and all the lobby had settled into a belief that Representative Rollinson was a sea-green Incorruptible, that of all honest members he was the most honest. He had become typical of honesty: sayings were current—“You might as well try to bribe Uncle Billy Rollinson!” “As honest as old Uncle Billy Rol­linson.” Hurlbut often used such phrases in private.

  The “Breaker” was Hurlbut’s own bill; he had planned it and written it, though it came over to the House from the Senate under a Senator’s name. It was one of those “anti-monopolistic” measures which Democrats put their whole hearts into, sometimes, and believe in and fight for magnificently; an idea conceived in honesty and for a beneficent purpose, in the belief that a legislature by the wave of a hand can conjure the millennium to appear; and born out of an utter misconception of man and railroads. The bill needs no farther description than this: if it passed and became an enforced law, the dividends of every railroad entering the State would be reduced by two-fifths. There is one thing that will fight harder than a Democrat—that is a railroad.

  The “Breaker” had been kept very dark until Hurlbut felt that he was ready; then it was swept through the Senate before the railroad lobby, previously lulled into unsuspicion, could collect itself and block it. This was as Hurlbut had planned: that the fight should be in his own House. It was the bill of his heart and he set his reputation upon it. He needed fifty-one votes to pass it, and he had them, and one to spare; for he took his followers, who formed the majority, into caucus upon it. It was in the caucus Uncle Billy learned that Hurlbut was “for” the bill. He watched the leader with humble, wavering eyes, thinking how strong and clear his voice was, and wondering if he never lit the cigar he always carried in his hand, or if he ever got into trouble, like Henry, being a young man. If he did, Uncle Billy would have liked the chance to help him out.

  He had plenty of such chances with Henry; indeed, the opportunity may be said to have been unintermittent, and Uncle Billy was never free from a dim fear of the day when his son would get in so deeply that he could not get him out. Verily, the day seemed near at hand: Henry’s letters were growing desperate and the old man walked the floor of his little room at night, more and more hopeless. Once or twice, even as he sat at his desk in the House, his eyes became so watery that he forced himself into long spells of coughing, to account for it, in case any one might be noticing him.

  The caucus was uneventful and quiet, for it had all been talked over, and was no more than a matter of form.

  The Republicans did not caucus upon the bill (they had reasons), but they were solidly against it. Naturally it follows that the assault of the railroad lobby had to be made upon the virtue of the Democrats as Democrats. That is, whether a member upon the majority side cared about the bill for its own sake or not, right or wrong, he felt it his duty as a Democrat to vote for it. If he had a conscience higher than a political conscience, and believed the bill was bad, his duty was to “bolt the caucus”; but all of the Democratic side believed in the righteousness of the bill, except two. One had already been bought and the other was Uncle Billy, who knew nothing about it, except that Hurlbut was “for” it and it seemed to be making a “big stir.”

  The man who had been bought sat not far from Uncle Billy. He was a furtive, untidy slouch of a man, formerly a Republican; he had a great capacity for “handling the coloured vote” and his name was Pixley. Hurlbut mistrusted him; the young man had that instinct, which good leaders need, for feeling the weak places in his following; and he had the leader’s way, too, of ever bracing up the weakness and fortifying it; so he stopped, four or five times a day, at Pixley’s desk, urging the necessity of standing fast for the “Breaker,” and expressing convictions as to the political future of a Democrat who should fail to vote for it; to which Pixley assented in his husky, tough-ward voice.

  All day long now, Hurlbut and his lieutenants, disregarding the routine of bills, went up and down the lines, fending off the lobbyists and such Republicans as were working openly for the bill. They encouraged and threatened and never let themselves be too confident of their seeming strength. Some of those who were known, or guessed, to be of the “weaker brethren” were not left to themselves for half an hour at a time, from their breakfasts until they went to bed. There was always at elbow the “Hold fast!” whisper of Hurlbut and his lieutenants. None of them ever thought of speaking to Uncle Billy.

  Hurlbut’s “work was cut out for him,” as they said. What work it is to keep every one of fifty men honest under great temptation for three weeks (which time it took for the hampered and filibustered bill to come up for its passage or defeat), is known to those who have tried to do it. The railroads were outraged and incensed by the measure; they sincerely believed it to be monstrous and thievish. “Let the legislature try to confiscate two-fifths of the lawyers’, or the bakers’, or the ironmoulders’ just earnings,” said they, “and see what will happen!”

  When such a bill as this comes to the floor for the third time the fight is already over, oratory is futile; and Cicero could not budge a vote. The railroads were forced to fight as best they could; this was the old way that they have learned is most effective in such a case. Votes could not be had to “oblige a friend” on the “Breaker” bill; nor could they be procured by arguments to prove the bill unjust. In brief: the railroad lobby had no need to buy Republican votes (with the exception of the one or two who charged out of habit whenever legislation concerned corporations), for the Republicans were against the bill, but they did mortally need to buy two Democratic votes, and were willing to pay handsomely for them. Nevertheless, Mr. Pixley’s price was not exorbitant, considering the situation; nor need he have congratulated himself so heartily as he did (in moments of retirement from public life) upon his prospective $2,000 (when the goods should be delivered) since his vote was assisting the railroads to save many million dollars a year.

  Of course the lobby attacked the bill noisily; there were big guns going all day long; but those in charge knew perfectly well that the noise accomplished nothing in itself. It was used to cover the whispering. Still, Hurlbut held his line firm and the bill passed its second reading with fifty-two votes, Mr. Pixley being directed by his owners to vote for it on that occasion.

  As time went on the lobby began to grow desperate; even Pixley had been consulted upon his opinion by Barrett, the young lawyer through whom negotiations in his case had been conducted. Pixley suggested the name of Rollinson and Barrett dismissed this counsel with as much disgust for Pixley’s stupidity as he had for the man’s person. (One likes a dog when he buys him.)

  “But why not?” Pixley had whined as he reached the door. “Uncle Billy ain’t so much! You listen to me. He wouldn’t take it out-an’-out—I don’t say as he would. But you needn’t work that way. Everybody thinks it’s no use to tackle him—but nobody never tried! What’s he done to make you scared of him? Nothing! Jest set there and looked!”

  After he had gone the fellow’s words came back to Barrett: “Nobody never tried!” And then, to satisfy his conscience that he was leaving no stone unturned, yet laughing at the uselessness of it, he wrote a letter to a confidant of his, formerly a colleague in the lobby, who lived in the county-seat near which Uncle Billy’s mortgaged acres lay. The answer came the night after the second vote on the “Breaker.”

  Dear Barrett:

  I agree with your grafter. I don’t believe Rollinson would be hard to approach if it were done with tact—of course you don’t want to tackle him the way you would a swine like Pixley. A good many people around here always thought the old man simple-minded. He was given the nomina
tion almost in joke—nobody else wanted it, because they all thought the Republicans had a sure thing of it; but Rollinson slid in on the general Democratic landslide in this district. He’s got one son, a worthless pup, Henry, a sort of yokel Don Juan, always half drunk when his father has any money to give him, and just smart enough to keep the old man mesmerized. Lately Henry’s been in a mighty serious peck of trouble. Last fall he got married to a girl here in town. Three weeks ago a family named Johnson, the most shiftless in the county, the real low-down white trash sort, living on a truck patch out Rollinson’s way, heard that Henry was on a toot in town, spending money freely, and they went after him. A client of mine rents their ground to them and told me all about it. It seems they claim that one of the daughters in the Johnson family was Henry’s common-law wife before he married the other girl, and it’s more than likely they can prove it. They are hollering for $600, and if Henry doesn’t raise it mighty quick they swear they’ll get him sent over the road for bigamy. I think the old man would sell his soul to keep his boy out of the penitentiary and he’s at his wits’ ends; he hasn’t anything to raise the money on and he’s up against it. He’ll do any thing on earth for Henry. Hope this’ll be of some service to you, and if there’s anything more I can do about it you better call me up on the long distance.

  Yours faithfully,

  J. P. WATSON.

  P. S.—You might mention to our old boss that I don’t want anything if services are needed; but a pass for self and family to New York and return would come in handy.

  Barrett telegraphed an answer at once: “If it goes you can have annual for yourself and family. Will call you up at two sharp to-morrow.”

  It was late the following night when the lobbyist concluded his interview with Representative Rollinson, in the latter’s little room, half lighted by the oil-smelling lamp.

  “I knew you would understand, Mr. Rollinson,” said Barrett as he rose to go. His eyes danced and his jaws set with the thought that had been jubilant within him for the last half-hour: “We’ve got ’em! We’ve got ’em! We’ve got ’em!” The railroads had defended their own again.

  “Of course,” he went on, “we wouldn’t have dreamed of coming to you and asking you to vote against this outrageous bill if we thought for a minute that you had any real belief in it or considered it a good bill. But you say, yourself, your only feeling about it was to oblige Mr. Hurlbut, and you admit, too, that you’ve voted his way on every other bill of the session. Surely, as I’ve already said so many times, you don’t think he’d be so unreasonable as to be angry with you for differing with him on the merits of only one! No, no, Hurlbut’s a very sensible fellow about such matters. You don’t need to worry about that! After all I’ve said, surely you won’t give it another thought, will you?”

  Uncle Billy sat in the shadow, bent far over, slowly twisting his thin, corded hands, the fingers tightly interlocked. It was a long time before he spoke, and his interlocutor had to urge him again before he answered, in his gentle, quavering voice.

  “No, I reckon not, if you say so.”

  “Certainly not,” said Barrett briskly. “Why of course, we’d never have thought of making you a money offer to vote either for or against your principles. Not much! We don’t do business that way! We simply want to do something for you. We’ve wanted to, all during the session, but the opportunity hadn’t offered until I happened to hear your son was in trouble.”

  Out of the shadow came a long, tremulous sigh. There was a moment’s pause; then Uncle Billy’s head sank slowly lower and rested on his hands.

  “You see,” the other continued cheerfully, “we make no conditions, none in the world. We feel friendly to you and want to oblige you, but of course we do think you ought to show a little good-will towards us. I believe it’s all understood: to-morrow night Mr. Watson will drive out in his buggy to this Johnson place, and he’s empowered by us to settle the whole business and obtain a written statement from the family that they have no claim on your son. How he will settle it is neither your affair nor mine; nor whether it costs money or not. But he will settle it. We do that out of good-will to you, as long as we feel as friendly to you as we do now, and all we ask is that you show your good-will to us.”

  It was plain, even to Uncle Billy, that if he voted against Mr. Barrett’s friends in the afternoon those friends might not feel so much good-will toward him in the evening as they did now; and Mr. Watson might not go to the trouble of hitching up his buggy to drive out to the Johnsons’.

  “You see, it’s all out of friendship,” said Barrett, his hand on the door knob. “And we can count on yours to-morrow, can’t we—absolutely?”

  The grey head sank a little lower, and then after a moment the quavering voice answered:

  “Yes, sir—I’ll be friendly.”

  Before morning, Hurlbut lost another vote. One of his best men left on a night train for the bedside of his dying wife. This meant that the “Breaker” needed every one of the fifty-one remaining Democratic votes in order to pass. Hurlbut more than distrusted Pixley, yet he felt sure of the other fifty, and if, upon the reading of the bill, Pixley proved false, the bill would not be lost, since there would be a majority of votes in its favour, though not the constitutional majority of fifty-one required for its passage, and it could be brought up again and carried when the absent man returned. Thus, on the chance that Pixley had withstood tampering, Hurlbut made no effort to prevent the bill from coming to the floor in its regular order in the afternoon, feeling that it could not possibly be killed by a majority against it, for he trusted his fifty, now, as strongly as he distrusted Pixley.

  And so the roll-call on the “Breaker” began, rather quietly, though there was no man’s face in the hall that was not set to show the tensity of high-strung nerves. The great crowd that had gathered and choked the galleries and the floor beyond the bar, and the Senators who had left their own chamber to watch the bill in the House, all began to feel disappointed; for nothing happened until Pixley’s name was called.

  Pixley voted “No!”

  Uncle Billy, sitting far down in his leather chair on the small of his back, heard the outburst of shouting that followed; but he could not see Pixley, for the traitor was instantly surrounded by a ring of men, and all that was visible from where he sat was their backs and upraised, gesticulating hands. Uncle Billy began to tremble violently; he had not calculated on this; but surely such things would not happen to him!

  The Speaker’s gavel clicked through the uproar and the roll-call proceeded.

  The clerk reached the name of Rollinson. Uncle Billy swallowed, threw a pale look about him and wrapped his damp hands in the skirts of his shiny old coat, as if to warm them. For a moment he could not answer. People turned to look at him.

  “Rollinson!” shouted the clerk again.

  “No,” said Uncle Billy.

  Immediately he saw above him and all about him a blur of men’s faces and figures risen to their feet, he heard a hundred voices say breathlessly: “What!” and one that said: “My God, that kills the bill!”

  Then a horrible and incredible storm burst upon him, and he who had sat all the session shrinking unnoticed in his quiet, back seat, unnerved when a colleague asked the simplest question, found himself the centre and point of attack in the wildest mêlée that legislature ever saw. A dozen men, red, frantic, with upraised arms, came at him, Hurlbut the first of them. But the lobby was there, too; for it was not part of its calculations that the old man should be frightened into changing his vote.

  There need have been no fear of that. Uncle Billy was beyond the power of speech. The lobby’s agents swarmed on the floor, and, with half-a-dozen hysterically laughing Republicans, met the onset of Hurlbut and his men. It became a riot immediately. Sane men were swept up in it to be as mad as the rest, while the galleries screamed and shouted. All round the old man the fury was greatest; his head sank ov
er his desk and rested on his hands as it had the night before; for he dared not lift it to see the avalanche he had loosed upon himself. He would have liked to stop his ears to shut out the egregious clamour of cursing and yelling that beset him, as his bent head kept the glazed eyes from seeing the impossible vision of the attack that strove to reach him. He remembered awful dreams that were like this; and now, as then, he shuddered in a cold sweat, being as one who would draw the covers over his head to shelter him from horrors in great darkness. As Uncle Billy felt, so might a naked soul feel at the judgment day, tossed alone into the pit with all the myriads of eyes in the universe fastened on its sins.

  He was pressed and jostled by his defenders; once a man’s shoulders were bent back down over his own and he was crushed against the desk until his ribs ached; voices thundered and wailed at him, threatening, imploring, cursing, cajoling, raving.

  Smaller groups were struggling and shouting in every part of the room, the distracted sergeants-at-arms roaring and wrestling with the rest. On the high dais the Speaker, white but imperturbable, having broken his gavel, beat steadily with the handle of an umbrella upon the square of marble on his desk. Fifteen or twenty members, raging dementedly, were beneath him, about the clerk’s desk and on the steps leading up to his chair, each howling hoarsely:

  “A point of order! A point of or-der!”

  When the semblance of order came at last, the roll was finished, “reconsidered,” the “Breaker” was beaten, 50 to 49, was dead; and Uncle Billy Rollinson was creeping down the outer steps of the State-house in the cold February slush and rain.

  He was glad to be out of the nightmare, though it seemed still upon him, the horrible clamours, all gonging and blaring at him; the red, maddened faces, the clenched fists, the open mouths, all raging at him—all the ruck and uproar swam about the dazed old man as he made his slow, unseeing way through the wet streets.