Ember

by Mindy Hayes

  “So, how is it done? How do you change?”

  “The transformation can only happen in Lake Haven near Oraelia. You need a pastelline lily. It’s a very rare flower, but you need it in order to call upon one of the fallen fae who sets an enchantment upon the water. As the water glows white, the faery and human making the transition must go into the lake and submerge completely under the water. It’s a painful process, but once submerged, you can’t get out until the transformation is complete or else you don’t survive.”

  “How painful is it?”

  “It feels like you are drowning in fire.”

  I shuddered. “And what happens if one backs out during the process while they’re both submerged?”

  “Neither one of them can make it. Once the transformation has started to take place, there’s no stopping it. So if one backs out the other can’t complete the change.”

  “Has that ever happened before?”

  “Once.”

  “And they both died?” I asked cautiously.

  He nodded gravely. “It’s not a decision to take lightly. There are just too many things that factor in. The both of you have to be very confident in your decision.”

  “So who changed with you?”

  “An old friend. His name was Brighton. His transition to human didn’t go over very well with the fae inside of him. His body couldn’t take it. I contacted him just in time. His body wasn’t going to be able to survive much longer.”

  He made that sacrifice for my mom. Knowing the possible outcome and the pain coinciding with the transition, he did it anyway. “How did you meet Mom? Why did you venture outside of Faylinn in the first place?”

  He looked thoughtful as he answered. “The world that I lived in was very different from the one Favner created. We had a lot of freedom to roam and do what we pleased. It was never smart to get close to humans, but I was curious. The pressure of being the eldest son and the new heir to Faylinn was a lot to take, as you know. I liked to think of my life and what it would be like if I weren’t the next King—if I didn’t have that responsibility,” he paused. “If I weren’t fae …

  “I was always curious about the human world and how differently it was run compared to Faylinn—how humans always looked like they had a place to be. Always on the go, never a moment to just sit and be. I especially liked watching a certain park near the forest line because that’s where humans seemed happiest. They relaxed under the sun, played with their dogs or played games. It was the only place that we seemed similar. Rarely were they ever alone, but your mom came every day by herself with a book, notepad, and blanket. Man, was she beautiful. Her curly hair shined under the sunlight and her eyes were so full—full of life, full of determination and warmth, full of curiosity and youth.”

  “What did she do when you showed yourself to her?”

  He chortled. “She started to run. I felt so bad I let her go.”

  I sighed. “Oh, how things would be different had I just run from Kai that day and never looked back.”

  “Do you believe things would be different?”

  “Honestly.” I thought for a moment. “I would have just gone back the next day.”

  “You share that with your mother.” He chuckled. “Her curiosity couldn’t keep her away. And I feared never seeing her again so I was there waiting for her.”

  “He stood right outside the trees, invisible to everyone but me.”

  We turned to see Mom leaning against the entry to the hallway.

  “He stood in all his faery get up. Bow slung over his shoulder, dagger on his hip, open chested tunic and black britches, unlike all the preppy law students. It was such a refreshing thing to see.”

  He smiled over his shoulder at her. “It was that moment when she came back, unafraid and open, that I knew I was going to have to make a decision. And it was about to tear my family apart.”

  “But you did it anyway,” I said.

  He met my eyes. “Sometimes hard decisions need to be made. I did it because it was the right decision to make for me. No matter how much my family and Faylinn meant to me, if I had stayed and bonded with another Royal, I was never going to be truly happy, and in turn, neither was Faylinn.”

  “Because how can a kingdom prosper under the hand of someone who feels that hollow.” So incomplete.

  “Exactly,” he said. “Faylinn deserves a leader that can fully devote their life to keep it running the way it deserves to be run.”

  “Why haven’t Faylinn leaders made it possible for fae to bond with whoever they want?”

  Mom walked into the room and sat on the recliner’s armrest, her arm slung around Dad’s shoulder. He brought his hand up to her lap, leaning into her.

  “I think partly it’s a matter of tradition and salvaging our beliefs after so many have fallen away to create their own kingdoms. But I believe it mainly came down to pride. Because so many had broken away to make it possible to bond with whomever they chose, the leaders wanted to prove that they still held the power, and they were the only ones who should have the power to change it. They didn’t want to admit they could be wrong.”

  “Then those who have stayed in Faylinn are the strong believers of the old laws.”

  “Possibly.” He nodded ponderingly. “I think it also has to do with where their families reside.”

  “What if I want to change the law?”

  “That’s your right as Queen,” he said it so freely as if it really was that easy.

  “But I vowed to honor Faylinn on the day of my Dawning. Isn’t coming in and changing everything a bit disrespectful? Don’t you think they would hate me? I already have a group that can’t stand me as it is and I haven’t even done anything yet.”

  “If you thought that way about every little decision, you could never actually be a leader. You have to do what you think is best for everyone as a whole. What you think they will benefit the most from. Didn’t you also vow to faithfully guide and cherish the lives of those in Faylinn?” I nodded, recalling all the words I consented to. “You care about their happiness. Now you just have to figure out what will make them happy, and if it falls in the confines of honoring Faylinn.”

  I leaned forward, resting my folded hands over my knees. “So you think I can make changes without having the entire kingdom shun me?”

  “As long as you’re not doing it for selfish reasons.”

  “Do you think it’s selfish to want to have a choice in who I marry?”

  “You are asking the only heir to ever turn human to be with a human if I think it’s selfish to marry for love.” He chuckled. “I’d say I’m slightly biased.” Mom leaned down and met his lips with a kiss.

  “It must run in my genes or something,” I commented with a smile.

  “Something like that.” He smiled kindly. “You’ll find a solution, Calliope. You have a big heart. I know you’ll make the right decisions for Faylinn.”

  • • •

  When Mom and Dad went to bed I ventured back out to familiar territory. I hadn’t felt the pulsing for so many months, but as soon is it began to beat inside of me, I knew where to go. I didn’t have to go far when Kai flipped down and landed in front of me. His crooked smile played on his lips. “How did your night go?”

  Even after all of this time, when he dropped from the trees like that, my breath still caught by his presence. “It was informative.”

  “Do tell.”

  “Well, Cameron can still remember me. It took him a few minutes, but then it was as if I’d never left.”

  Kai’s face changed from interest to feigned indifference. “How perfect for you two.”

  I cocked my eyebrow about to question him.

  “Hey, Calliope.” Declan leapt down beside us. “You’re back. How did everything turn out?”

  “Perfect,” Kai answered for me. “She and Cameron can still live happily ever after.” His eyes grew wide, and he clapped his hands together with sardonic enthusiasm. “Did he propose?”


  “What is your deal tonight?” I glared.

  Kai shook his head. “Forget it. I’m out.” Then Kai shot up and out of sight.

  “Clearly, I missed something.” Declan tilted his head to the side.

  “Clearly, so did I,” I muttered. I was done trying to figure him out. He kissed me one minute, ignored me the next, and harassed me the rest of the time. I never knew what to expect with him. Ever. It was getting so tiring.

  “So Cameron remembers you. That’s good. Did you go see Lia?”

  I shook my head. “It was too late by the time I left Cameron’s house. I’ll go see her tomorrow.” I chuckled. “She’s going to flip.”

  “Just take it easy. You might have a different experience with Lia. Humans all experience the memory loss differently.”

  “Are you saying just because Cameron remembers me, it doesn’t mean that Lia will?”

  He nodded solemnly. “I’m not saying it’s not possible that she’ll remember you. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t expect her to, just in case.”

  I took a breath, mulling over the information. “Thanks, Declan. I’ll touch base with you guys tomorrow. Be safe. Tell Kai I said good night.”

  “He’s probably not far. I’m sure he can hear you, but I’ll tell him anyway.”

  I rolled my eyes, knowing he was probably right and tossed a wave behind my shoulder. “Thanks. Goodnight.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “Calliope! Cameron’s here to see you,” Mom hollered from downstairs.

  Dusting on the last bit of makeup, I left my hair down to cover my ears, but let my wings flutter freely. They’d be confined soon enough today.

  I found Cameron eating waffles at my kitchen table. “Morning, Your Majesty,” he mumbled through the last bite he took and lifted the corner of his mouth in a mocking smile. His eyes lingered on my wings.

  I chuckled. “If I didn’t like you so much I’d punch you.” I grabbed a plate and piled a couple waffles on. “Didn’t get enough of me last night?”

  He took a sip of orange juice and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “If I only get you back for a couple days, we’re going to make the best of it. I’ve only got a couple days with you until you become a blur again.”

  I sat down across from him and smiled sadly. “Good plan.”

  “Do you two have any plans today?” Mom asked from the kitchen sink.

  “Not yet. Do you have to work?” I asked her.

  “My only daughter is home for only so much time, you really think I’m going into work today?” I smirked. “I’m working from home today.” She put some dishes in the dishwasher then came to kiss my cheek. “I love that you’re home.” She ran her fingers down my wings. “They really are so pretty.”

  I shivered from her light touch, and my wings fluttered. “Thanks, Mom.”

  “I’ll let you two chat. I’m off to the office. Let me know if you need anything.” She smiled and left the room.

  I shook my head and took a deep breath. “She’s such a nut.”

  “She misses you. And at least she gets to remember you.”

  I looked at him and could feel the sadness shown on my face. “Yeah.”

  “You know I’m really okay though; right, Cal?” He reached for my hand over the table, and I let him take it. “I miss you. I know I’m missing something important, but it doesn’t always ache. I work with my dad. I hang out with some guys from the shop, and I’ll be leaving for college soon. Life’s going on, and I’m okay.”

  “Good. That helps. A lot.” I attempted a smile because I was happy for him, but it didn’t change the fact that I wasn’t okay. I missed him, and I knew what I was missing, even if I knew where I needed to be, even if it felt right where I was. It didn’t mean that it wasn’t hard. “What’s going on with Isla?”

  “She went off to college.”

  “She’s gone?”

  He nodded and smiled meekly. “It’s okay though. After you left, she could see something different in me. And I just couldn’t stay with her knowing I’d changed. She understood. Actually handled everything really well.”

  “Of course she did,” I said dryly. “Add that to her list of perfections—classy.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah. That’s Isla for ya.”

  “Does anyone remember me?”

  He shrugged. “No one mentions you, so I’m not sure. I haven’t even talked to Lia. After you left, she kind of became a recluse. She came to school every day, but we never really socialized, just gave simple greetings in the hallway. I think she submerged herself in schoolwork. I know she missed you. She’s just probably like me and couldn’t figure it out.”

  “I miss her. I’m going to have to go see her today and pray she remembers me like you did.”

  “We can do that today. I don’t think she’s left for college yet.”

  “What month is it anyway?”

  “August.”

  “Time goes a lot slower in Faylinn. It feels like only a few months have passed, not nine,” I realized. “Do you know where Lia got in?”

  Cam tilted his head, trying to recall. “You know, now that you mention it, I really don’t know. She never told me, and I never asked.”

  I nodded. “So what’s in store for you now? Where are you going to go to school?”

  “I start at Clemson for the fall semester. Already have an apartment lined up with some other guys going there. Should be fun.”

  “Oh good,” I sighed with relief.

  “Think higher of me, Cal. I didn’t just shrivel up and die after you left.”

  “That’s only because you didn’t remember me enough to miss me,” I joked.

  “That’s only partially true.” He pointed his fork at me. “It was weird. It was like I had a wall in my mind blocking memories of you, but occasionally a door would open and shed some light on you, and I’d miss you all over again. Now that I think about it I haven’t thought about you in about a month. If you hadn’t come back I’m not sure how much longer it would have taken …” his voice trailed off, and he looked out the window over my shoulder. He was beginning to completely forget me. I saw the sadness form in his eyes as he began to realize that.

  “Well, I’ll try not to wait nine months the next time I come to visit. Seriously nine months?”

  He nodded once with a chuckle and peered back at me. “I understand you have a life, Callie. What you’re doing is important. It’s weird, but I know you made the right decision.”

  “Thanks, Cam.” It was clear to me, but it was good to have confirmation. Especially when I finally grasped how much I’d missed everything and everyone. I just have to learn that it’s okay to miss people. It just means I love them.

  “So what about you? What’s Faylinn like?” he asked lightly.

  I smiled and grabbed our empty plates to put them in the dishwasher. “Would it be completely cliché of me to tell you it’s magical?”

  He laughed and grabbed our cups, following me. “Yes, but how else can you really describe a mystical fairytale land? But this place can’t be too magical if it’s stressing you out this much.”

  “Huh?”

  “I see the strain in your eyes that you’re failing to hiding. What’s eating at you, Cal? It’s not that bad, is it?”

  I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. “I have to find a ‘suitable partner’ in like a month, and my scope isn’t exactly that wide.”

  “You have to find a suitable partner?”

  “One who’s another Royal from one of the other kingdoms. Which is ridiculous for so many reasons, but mainly because I’m only eighteen. I shouldn’t have to worry about bonding with anyone right now, right?”

  “Bonding. You have to get married?”

  “I have one more moon cycle to decide who to bond with. Female heirs are not allowed to rule alone. I may or may not have just told my advisor where he can stick it before I came here.”

  “Well, who cares what they rest of them think. It’s you
r life. Haven’t you had enough taken from you recently? Now they want the most intimate part of your life, too?”

  “I don’t want to think about it, Cam. I’m hounded enough by Evan.”

  “Evan sounds like a real jerk.”

  I chuckled and leaned my back against the sink. “He’s a good advisor though. He’s been by my side from the moment I got there, trying to ease me into this. There aren’t a whole lot of them that are rejoicing and on my side. I mean, yes, they love that Favner is gone and that I’m not a vindictive witch of a Queen, but a lot of them think that because I’m human I’m tainted or something. I know there’s still a group of Favner lovers, but we can’t seem to smoke them all out.”

  “Callie, I’m sure you are doing an amazing job. You’re too hard on yourself.” His hands eased around my waist, and I found myself back in my bedroom that day I tried to leave. Our eyes locked, and the air in my lungs fled from me. He stepped closer to me and I knew his intentions. Suddenly it felt so intimate, and I was hit with something I wasn’t expecting. His weren’t the hands I wanted wrapped around my waist. His lips weren’t the ones I wanted pressed to mine. The body I wanted against me wasn’t Cameron anymore.

  I broke the eye contact, darting my eyes to the floor and swallowed, gaining the courage to actually stop this. “Cam?” I questioned, looking back up into his baby blues, the ones that I used to get lost in repeatedly. They were still so familiar, enveloping me in the comfort of their steadiness. But it wasn’t the same anymore.

  At the sound of my voice, he dropped his hands. “Yeah?” His voice was hesitant, already preparing for what was coming.

  I chuckled humorlessly, running my hands through my hair. Of course.

  He nodded with understanding before I even had to say anything. He knocked his head back toward the forest. “It’s one of them, isn’t it?” he asked, though his tone revealed he already knew the answer.

  With my eyes staring off, I smiled confusedly at the unyielding revelation. “Yeah.”

  “All right. Okay.” He backed away and nodded uncomfortably, taking in my answer. His eyes shifted to the floor to hide the emotion there from me. But I knew his movements and expressions all too well. I knew when he was embarrassed or disappointed merely by the position of his shoulders or the tilt of his head. He couldn’t hide from me. Didn’t he know that by now?