Spice and Wolf, Vol. 3
Page 25
In the end, Amati had not been able to fulfill the contract whose stakes were his being able to propose to Horo. As for the selling on credit, the deal was also completed in full when Lawrence had handed him the pyrite which was at that point not much better than garbage.
Because he had been worried that Amati's emotions might get out of control, Lawrence had requested the presence of the foreign firm owner as an arbitrator. The owner had said to Amati back then: "This is your punishment for stealing someone else's woman.”
Although Lawrence was unsure whether Horo could really be called his "woman", at least the entire affair had the effect of teaching Amati, who had grown somewhat arrogant as of late, a good lesson.
After Lawrence had given Horo a brief account of all these things that had come to pass, Horo, who was sitting in bed, stopped grooming her tail and spoke, looking at Lawrence with an expression like that of judging the quality of a piece of merchandise: "You do not suppose then, that this means the entire affair has reached a perfect conclusion?”
Rather than saying her eyes seemed to be judging the quality of a piece of merchandise, perhaps it would have been more appropriate to say they seemed as if they were determining how harsh a punishment to dish out.
In his heart, Lawrence understood the mistake he had made.
Standing up, he raised both hands above his shoulders in a surrendering gesture and said: "I'm in the wrong.”
Yet, Horo was not moved in the least.
"Do you truly know where you have erred?”
Although it was really quite pitiful for a grown man to be scolded to such an extent, Lawrence could only choose to bear this all resignedly.
Because he knew that he deserved to be scolded for making such a mistake. "I know….”
The wolf's ears twitched momentarily. "…I guess.”
Hearing this, Horo sighed through her nose, and folded her arms before her chest with a look of displeasure. Saying just that was not enough to obtain Horo's forgiveness after all.
He therefore made his resolve, and apologized with the utmost sincerity: "When I had decided to take care of matters in this way or that after Amati's proposing the contract, I was just being totally self-complacent, wasn't I?”
Because of the sense of panic that seemed on the verge of melting his stomach and caused his entire body to be enveloped by intense heat, Lawrence had run all over the place just for the sake of preventing Amati from fulfilling the contract. But in the end, not only were his efforts all for naught, it could even be said that he had been in a state of total self-complacency.
"The truth is…not trusting you was my biggest problem.”
Horo looked away, keeping only one ear directed toward Lawrence. What she probably meant was, "I shall listen to what you have to say.”
Faced with Horo's extremely unpleasant attitude, Lawrence of course felt somewhat indignant, but he could not but admit that he did not wish to start a fight.
Lawrence lifted his head and took one glance at the ceiling before continuing: "That you would attach white feathers to your robe was in order to tell me that you had bought pyrite from Deanna, right?”
Horo nodded, her face full of displeasure.
"Yet, when Amati had gone forth to sell pyrite at the vending stand in a deliberately mysterious manner, I had thought that was a trap you had set up.”
"Huh?”
Horo exclaimed softly and looked toward Lawrence, who hastily covered his mouth.
"Just said something I shouldn't have," Lawrence thought, but it was already too late. Horo uncrossed her legs, setting one foot on the floor, and drew near to question: "Explain more clearly.”
Horo's amber eyes which carried a hint of red gave off a piercing radiance.
"I thought that was a trap set up to bait me into acting prematurely. When I saw Amati's actions, I was under the impression that you were already completely on his side, so there was no way I could've paid attention to the white feathers. It's just that….the truth was not as I thought it was, right?”
Horo's eyes seemed to say, "Of course.”
At this point, Lawrence naturally understood what Horo's real intentions had been.
"It was to tell me that Amati already possessed a sufficient stock, and that I should hurry up and sell off my pyrite in bulk. That was what you were trying to convey, right?”
Lawrence had not trusted Horo, yet Horo had trusted Lawrence all along.
If things were to be explained using a relationship map, that was probably just how it had been.
Thus, Horo had allowed Amati to take an action from which Lawrence at the time could not at all figure out what her true intentions were, plus Lawrence had even one-sidedly determined that Amati had not been relying on his own judgment in attempting to shake Lawrence's resolve, but that Horo had become an enemy who was trying to frame him as well.
The only correct answer at the time was that only Horo was aware of Lawrence's plan.
Surely if Lawrence had simply noticed the white feathers and confirmed Horo's true intentions through eye contact, Horo would have sold her pyrite along with him right then and there.
"I simply cannot stand you…." Horo muttered.
She then thrust her chin forward, beckoning Lawrence to continue.
"Before that, the fact that you would sign and stamp the marriage certificate Amati had prepared, that…." Although Lawrence felt embarrassed, he could only force himself to say the words: "That was in order to give me a reason to be angry….right?" Horo's ears quivered faintly, and she took a forceful deep breath.
Perhaps thinking back on this was causing wave after wave of anger to surge up within Horo's heart.
Back then, Horo must have been eagerly expecting Lawrence to rush up to the second floor, marriage certificate in hand.
Yet, after waiting and waiting without Lawrence coming upstairs, perhaps she had gone on waiting like that till daybreak.
Having thought to this point, Lawrence could not help feeling that he could not utter a word of complaint even if Horo were to bite him to death on the spot.
"Back when we were in Rubinhaigen, did I not already tell you? Do not take useless little actions. Just come right out and say what is in your heart. Yelling at each other will solve the problem much more quickly.”
Horo scratched the roots of her ears, producing a creaking sound. She appeared as if she could not possibly get any angrier.
Horo had shown no signs of being flustered even when Lawrence discovered Amati walking out of the inn, and had even prepared the marriage certificate, all for the sake of angering Lawrence so that he would be able to speak his heart more easily.
Lawrence on the other hand had mistakenly thought that Horo had issued an ultimatum.
Thinking back on it now, however, Lawrence finally realized that the situation back then indeed formed the ideal conditions for letting loose all his emotions and telling Horo that he did not wish for her to accept Amati's proposal.
Moreover, it seemed that if he had simply said that, Horo would have been willing to forgive him. "So, I had completely misunderstood you from the very beginning," said Lawrence.
Horo lowered her chin, and looked at Lawrence with eyes that were beyond displeased, appearing almost resentful.
Those eyes indicated just how ridiculous Lawrence's error had been.
"You….uh, when you had lost control of your emotions because of the situation with Yoitsu, your apology at the end was….”
The hoarse voice of Horo that had uttered the word "Sorry" resounded next to Lawrence's ears. "…was because you had regained your senses…right?”
Horo stared at Lawrence. She even opened her mouth and revealed her sharp canines as she did so.
After unleashing a barrage of words filled with malice and distortion of the facts at Lawrence, Horo had immediately realized that she had gone too far.
After realizing this, Horo had not continued to act rashly.
She had immediately apologi
zed to Lawrence, an apology that came from the heart.
She had not anticipated Lawrence to take her apology as the final word that sealed off her heart.
The moment he reflected back on the situation back then, Lawrence just wanted to hold his head and give a loud cry.
Because of Horo's apology, Lawrence had ceased the movement of the hand that was reaching forward.
If he had managed to say something to Horo back then, he might have still been able to save the situation, Lawrence thought to himself.
Yet, Horo must have been stupefied in that moment.
After all, Horo had truly been apologizing for the malevolent words she had uttered due to having lost control of her emotions, but not only had Lawrence not said a word, he had even backed out of the room. After that, the clever Horo must have immediately realized how Lawrence had misunderstood her intentions.
But even having realized this, to chase after Lawrence and explain how he had misunderstood her would have been totally absurd.
Most likely, Horo had meant for Lawrence to realize his own misunderstanding much earlier on from certain key points.
This was also the reason why she was so angry at the present moment. "You foolish mule!”
Horo stood up from the bed, and being unable to hold it in any longer, yelled out loudly: "The saying that 'A fool cannot come up with a good idea' refers exactly to you! Putting aside the fact that you completely laid waste to my efforts, you are even saying that I had been treating you as an enemy? Not only that, you just had to persist so stubbornly in the contract with that youngster. Do you have any idea how complicated this made things? Indeed, I have met you only recently, but it is my belief that you and I share a not-so-shallow bond. Is it simply wishful thinking on my part to think so? Or do you actually….”
"I want to continue traveling with you.”
The distance between the desk and the bed was but a few steps.
Human and wolf, merchant and non-merchant were separated only by such a short distance. One would immediately be able to touch the other just by reaching out a hand.
Lawrence picked up Horo's hand, and found that it was trembling slightly.
"All along, my life has been filled with nothing but business, and I plan to continue pursuing such a lifestyle in the future. So, concerning things that are not related to business, you can just think of me as a slow-minded guy.”
Horo's wrathful expression gradually changed to one of awkwardness. "But, it is truly my wish to travel with you," Lawrence continued. "Then, what am I to you?”
This was the question Lawrence had not been able to answer back then.
The present Lawrence however was able to answer it with absolute confidence: "It cannot be described in words.”
Horo widened her eyes, erected her ears high, and thenAnd then, she looked at Lawrence as if frustrated with him almost to the point of crying, and said with a helpless smile: "What kind of poor, dry line is that?” “Isn't dried jerky your favorite?”
Horo opened her mouth to reveal two sharp canines and gave a laugh with her throat before bringing her mouth close to Lawrence's hand and saying: "I hate it.”
Lawrence felt a sharp pain on the back of his palm, but he accepted it without complaint, thinking of it as his punishment.
"Although, I also have a question for you," he said. "Hmm?”
After biting Lawrence's hand with considerable force in order to convey her anger, Horo lifted her face and asked in exchange.
"How did you know the alchemists possessed pyrite…no, Amati had probably told you. Compared to that, I'm more interested in knowing how you managed to persuade Miss Deanna to sell you pyrite. I simply can't figure it out.”
Hearing this, Horo looked out the window with an expression that seemed to say, "So that is what you wanted to ask.”
By then, dusk had already arrived, and the second day's evening festival was getting ready to begin.
The festival activities of that day seemed to use the same puppets as the ones that had been used to battle one another since the previous night. About half the number of enormous, dog-like puppets had already lost their heads. Even from a distance, the weary appearance of the participants of the evening festival was readily apparent as they staggered along, some of them even stumbling to the ground bottoms-first.
In spite of their fatigue, the people still followed the sounds of the flutes and drums and did their best to form parading processions.
Horo pulled her gaze back to Lawrence, and motioned with her eyes for him to join her by the window. Lawrence had no reason to refuse, and thus approached the window.
"From the contents of the detailed reports that youngster Amati never failed to make to me, I more or less guessed what your plan was. However, I did not expect you to be able to come up with such an idea…concerning this point, I shall give you praise.”
Horo leaned her back on Lawrence, and let her gaze fall on the festival.
Consequently, Lawrence was unable to see the expression on her face, but he felt that since he had received praise, he might as well receive it candidly.
"So, her name is Deanna, correct? Concerning that matter, I had gone to that person for some other purpose," said Horo.
"Some other purpose?”
"It would probably be more appropriate to say I had gone to request something of that person. I was able to find the location from the scent on the letter. However, the place carried a strong stink much like that found near hot springs. It was absolutely unbearable.”
On one hand, Lawrence was surprised over Horo's incredible sense of smell. On the other hand, he also imagined how choking the experience must have been for her.
Then, Horo gave a soft sigh, and said without glancing at Lawrence: "I asked that doll whether she could fabricate a story suggesting the possibility that Yoitsu was still in existence somewhere, and pass the story on to you.”
For a moment, Lawrence did not understand what he had heard. But he immediately realized Horo's intention.
If Lawrence had heard such a story from Deanna, he would surely have been able to take the initiative to speak to Horo more easily.
This would have created the ideal chance for Lawrence to take the first step in talking to Horo. "But.”
Horo's tone of voice as she continued sounded all of a sudden displeased.
"That doll had me relate the entire course of events to her, only to refuse my request at the very end.” “That…that's how it was huh?”
Lawrence remembered the "Good luck" Deanna had said to him as he was leaving her residence. Was that Deanna's way of making fun of him?
"The reason I was refused was you. You had better reflect long and hard on that." After getting his foot stomped on by Horo, Lawrence came back to his senses.
Yet, he did not understand Horo's meaning.
"Seriously…to think I actually went through the embarrassment of explaining the entire situation, and had been just one step away from succeeding in my request, only to have you show up all of a sudden, causing that doll to come up with such an unnecessary plan.”
Lawrence was not even able to utter a "Huh?" So Horo had been present back then, he thought to himself. "That doll had actually dared to act as if she understood everything perfectly…and say it would be fine to put your resolve to the test.”
Lawrence finally understood why Deanna had uttered a "Good luck" to him.
Yet, somehow he could not throw off the feeling that he had forgotten something important.
Just as Lawrence was trying to recall what it was that he had forgotten, Horo looked back at him with an annoyed expression and said: "I also heard every word of that stupid question of yours.” “Ah!”
Lawrence exclaimed in a voice that sounded more like an agonized cry. Horo smiled mischievously and, spinning around to face Lawrence said: "I heard there are many legends involving humans and gods becoming a pair.”
The smile Horo revealed as she hung her head down and lifted h
er gaze high looked very frightening.
The slender arm she had coiled around Lawrence's back reminded one of a venomous snake that never let off its prey.
"If that is what you have planned, I do not mind. However….”
The light that flowed in from outside the window dyed Horo's face red. "You have to be gentle, alright?”
Horo must really be a demon, Lawrence thought to himself half-seriously, but seeing Horo drop her act so easily, he could not help feeling a bit disappointed.
"I do not know why, but after having spoken to that doll, I just cannot seem to get my spirits up,”
Horo said with a weary appearance, but maintained the same posture, her arms around Lawrence as she gazed outside the window.
Horo's gaze was not on the festival, but fixed on some point far off in the distance. "Did you notice that that doll is not human?”
Lawrence was so surprised that he could not even utter a "How is that possible.”
"Were there not a great number of feathers scattered on the floor of the room? Those belonged to that doll.” “….Is that so?”
Now that Horo mentioned it, Lawrence recalled that Deanna had in fact reminded him of a bird when he saw her.
Horo nodded and continued: "That doll's true appearance is a bird greater than you in size. She once fell in love with a traveling cenobite, and together the two had spent many years working together to build a church. But no matter how many years went by, that doll would never age, and thus the cenobite grew suspicious. Surely you can guess how things developed after that?”
Perhaps he was just imagining things, but Lawrence seemed to feel Horo tighten the grip of her arms. Lawrence felt that he seemed to understand the reason Deanna collected ancient legends and protected the alchemists.
Yet it would have caused him great pain to speak the reason, and he believed that Horo would also not be willing to hear it.
Thus, Lawrence did not utter it.
Instead, he put an arm around Horo's slender shoulder.