Barefoot and Lost

by Brian Francis Cox

  After Christmas I think I am going to write to Awful and see if he will take me to America, but, was he only saying that because he felt sorry for me? I don’t think so; he made a special trip here to tell June he would take me if they weren’t allowed to keep me. If he agrees, when would it be? He could be in Berlin for years. I’m fed up, things were so happy here before Gran died, but now there is no happiness, June is always tired and Reg never speaks to me, unless it is to tell me not to do something I’m doing, that is annoying him. The only one that has time for me is Jet.

  On Thursday we break up for Christmas holidays, I’m not looking forward to it because I don’t know what I will do with myself. Michael Stanton is going to Helston, in, Cornwall, to stay near where his dad is stationed, he is a pilot in the Navy; they are going so they can have Christmas together. If I get a bike I’ll have nowhere to go, no one to visit, it will be just as usual me, walking with Jet, stopping at every lamp post. How does he manage to pee so often?

  At the police station I’m surprised to see Constable Harper, ‘Hello young Milligan, what can I do for you?’

  ‘Hello Constable Harper; it’s Snell, Phillip Snell; are you better?’

  ‘It’s always been Milligan to me; just let’s say it is your pet name, eh! Well, not one hundred percent, but they have given me desk duty here, three days a week, to break me in. I’m very grateful, I’m normally very active, sitting around at home, getting under the wife’s feet was doing neither of us any good, so here I am. Now what is it you want, you’re not being pursued are you?’

  ‘No, I’m not running away from anyone, I wanted to see the Superintendent.’

  ‘Now, why would that be, he is a very busy man?’

  ‘I wanted to know where the other boys and girls went to after they raided the home. I was brought here, but they all went to a Dr Barnardos in Kent somewhere and I want to write to them, to tell them I’m okay and that I miss them.’

  ‘I see, seems like a reasonable request so I’ll tell you what I will do, you come back on Monday and, in the meantime, I will track them down; how about that then?’

  ‘Thank you Mr. Harper, see you Monday. You know, I thought you were very brave, trying to stop that car on your own.’

  ‘Thank you but, as a policeman you act on impulse, it is in the training you know.’

  ‘Yeah, I suppose, but still very brave of you, bye, see you Monday.’

  ‘Bye Milligan, Monday, after twelve.’

  From the police station across the cricket ground I can see the back of our house; all the lights are on, I wonder why, what is Reg doing? Outside number twelve are two cars and a van with Regal Productions written on it, all the lights are on at the front as well. Curious, I sneak down the steps, looking through the kitchen window I can see Reg, talking to a big lady with bright red hair piled on top of her head. Out of view there is someone else, standing in the doorway to the passage.

  As I open the back door they turn to me, ‘Ah Phillip this is Florence Rhodes and James Cutler, they and their company are staying with us over Christmas; this is Phillip my son.’ I say hello.

  Company, what do they mean? I needn’t have wondered, ‘Florence is the production manager for the Pantomime at White Rock Pavilion, so, Phil it looks like, you are back in your old room for a couple of weeks.’ Florence holds out her hand I take it.

  ‘Oh, you are so big and strong, you don’t have to move out you can cuddle up to me if you like.’ Reg gives a look of horror, I can feel myself blushing.

  ‘Now see what you have done Flo, you have embarrassed the lad; take no notice Phil, Florence is only joking.’ He holds out his hand, ‘I’m James Cutler I am the music director, you can share with me,’ seeing my look, ‘only joking.’ Everyone laughs, I do as well but not sure why, it didn’t seem very funny to me.

  ‘Reg, do you want me to move my things?’

  ‘Already done, you had better get your school clothes off and get back down here and give me a hand, Tessa will be here in a few minutes to help out this evening.’

  On the way up to my room there are people everywhere, calling to each other. A very pretty lady with hardly any clothes on has just come out of the bathroom; I can’t take my eyes off her she says hello as she passes me. I watch her bottom, in shiny knickers; wriggle as she walks along the landing, drying her hair as she goes. At her room she turns, leans back and looks at me then, gives me a big wink, blows a kiss and closes the door behind her, I race to my room getting redder as I go.

  The house has suddenly come alive, it is happy again. There are thirty two people in the company, for the past three days they have been rehearsing and have been out from eleven in the morning until round about nine in the evening. To night, Friday, is opening night, we have been given free tickets, I’m really excited, I have never been to a Pantomime, this one is Cinderella, I know the story, in fact I have lived the part with Mrs. B, but I don’t quite know what to expect in a pantomime.

  The three of us are making our way back home arm in arm, June and I faking a limp to match Reg’s genuine limp, the wind is blowing off the sea, stinging my ears and nose.

  June says ‘You certainly enjoyed that Phillip; I haven’t ever seen you laugh so much?’

  ‘It was fantastic. Why was Julia being the prince, was the man actor sick or something?’

  ‘No, that is what pantomime is; the leading man is always played by a girl. Did you notice that the ugly sisters were Fred and Charlie, they are always played by men?’

  ‘You’re not serious, you’re joking?’

  ‘I’m serious, why would I joke about something like that?’

  ‘I don’t know, but Fred and Charlie are both little men, and the ugly sisters were so big and fat.’

  ‘They wear lots of padding, which is very heavy, both Fred and Charlie, although quite small, are very fit, they have to be, I’m sure you must have noticed their muscles?’

  ‘The best bit was when those men were wall papering the hall and pasted Buttons behind the wall paper. ‘Then he burst out, like a ghost just as Baron Hardup came into the room, it shocked him so much he fell back and sat in that bucket of paste, it was so funny I nearly choked, laughing.’

  ‘Certainly was funny, but very predictable.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, you know what is going to happen.’

  ‘Yes Reg it is, but don’t you think that’s what makes it funny? It is the same as the dialogue being in rhyme, you know what the next line is going to be, that is the charm of panto.’

  ‘Yes June, suppose you are right, hadn’t thought of it like that.’

  ‘June, do you think we could go and see it again?’

  ‘Ask Florence yourself, she may say yes if, you ask.’

  I have counted my pocket money; I have one pound seven and six. I have to buy a present for both June and Reg and have no idea what to get. I’ve walked up and down the counters, in Woolworth’s trying get an idea of what I could buy but all I can see are heels and soles for shoes, tacks, ribbons, a necklace, made from sea shells which I don’t think are real shells, I just don’t know. Maybe I could make something, but what? I feel defeated.

  In desperation I walk into Plummer’s, maybe I could get June scent, but it looks expensive. Standing there looking lost, a lady says, ‘Can I help you sir?’ I take no notice, she can’t be speaking to me, looking around I see there is no one else she could be speaking to.

  ‘Sorry, I didn’t think you were speaking to me.’

  ‘That’s alright, are you looking for something in particular?’

  ‘No, not really, I want to buy a present for my—err – Mum and Dad.’

  ‘You don’t seem very sure, is it for your girlfriend?’ I laugh,

  ‘I would if I knew where she was, no, this is for my foster parents who might be my mum and dad one day.’

  ‘I see, that’s thoughtful of you, are they nice, and would you like them to be your mum and dad?’

  ‘I think so
, I’m not sure if they want me.’

  ‘I’m sure they do; so, how much money do you have to spend?’

  ‘One pound, seven, and six.’

  ‘My goodness me, such a lot what did you do, rob a bank.” she says with a smile.

  ‘No, I’ve saved my pocket money.’

  ‘Well, I think I have the very thing; two handkerchiefs in a box, with an initial in the corner of each hanky and we stock them from A to Z. What are you mum and dad’s names?’

  ‘June and Reginald.’

  ‘There you are, a J and an R, the J in pink and the R in blue, what more could you want, and only fifteen shillings for the lot, that leaves you twelve and six to spend on yourself, what do you think, is it a sale?’

  ‘Yes, thank you very much, I would never have thought of that.’

  ‘Always pleased to help, would you like me to wrap them for you sir?’

  ‘Yes please.’ I walk out of Plummer’s two feet off the ground, my Christmas shopping is done, and I wonder what I could buy for twelve shillings and sixpence.

  Calling into the police station, on my way home; Constable Harper is behind the counter, ‘Hello Mr. Harper, do you have that address for me?’

  ‘I certainly do young Milligan, but you would not be able to go there from this address, it is a post office box in Ilford London, but then, you don’t intend visiting, do you?’

  ‘No, I just want to write, that’s all.’

  ‘Well then perfect. Here you are good luck.’ Typed on an envelope is, Dr. Barnardos Village Home, PO Box Ilford London., I hope my letter will get to Rachel. Oh hell I don’t remember her surname, I’m sure she has told me, but what is it? There could be more than one Rachel, may be I will get a reply from more than one but, then again, I may not get any at all. I have to try; I want her to know I’m okay.

  The panto people do not have a show on Christmas day so everyone is having dinner here. We haven’t enough tables for thirty seven, so Reg has borrowed two from the cricket ground. It was quite easy getting them, the grounds man passed them up to us onto the pavilion roof and Fred and Charlie carried them inside. The food is being supplied by Florence and the company, June and Reg are cooking the meal with the help of a new lady called Connie, she is now working here every day and June has given up her job at the clothes shop.

  Connie has a son, Alan, who is ten. His dad was killed in the war so there is just him and his mum; at least he has his mum, I wish I had mine. Alan is so timid he acts like a five year old. June has told me I must be nice to him, that I will do, but don’t ask me to be his friend, I just couldn’t. I suppose he is the way he is because his mum is so protective. ‘No Alan you wouldn’t want to do that would you? You might get hurt, stay with mummy she’ll look after you.’ The poor boy doesn’t have a chance; I wonder if I would have been like he is if my mum and Gran were still alive, would they have been over protective like his mum?

  Father Christmas has been good to me, wrapped in news paper; sitting in the kitchen is a bike. June and Reg are beaming, waiting for my reaction. ‘I wonder what this is.’ I say as I finger the paper. Reg says with a puzzled look ‘Goodness knows how the old fellow in red, got that down the chimney.’ I rip off the paper to reveal a Raleigh, it is not new, but it has been painted dark green and looks new.

  ‘After breakfast, can I go out for a ride?’

  ‘Well that presents a problem, you can’t get it up the steps on your own and Reg can’t help you, so Reg and I have decided you will keep it under the stairs in the hall, where you can easily get it out of the front door, but you must make sure it can’t fall over and that no one can trip over it, okay?’

  ‘Will you help me please June, to get it up stairs?’

  ‘Better than that, after we have eaten ask Charlie or Fred, they will be good at it having had the experience, that is how it got down here. Oh me and my big mouth’

  ‘June you haven’t given anything away, I’m twelve I do know the truth about Father Christmas.’

  My first ride is a bit wobbly; I have never ridden a bike as big as this. I ride down to Pop to show him, ‘Well isn’t that grand the whole world is in your grasp now all you have to do is keep peddling’

  ‘I’m not likely to get far before dark Pop, there are no lights on my bike, and constable Harper would arrest me before I had got very far.’

  ‘I am very pleased for you’ Pop gives me a present ‘This is from Tess and me’ I feel terrible I haven’t bought them anything. Opening it I find it is my very own copy of The Talisman. ‘It is not new but I thought it would be better for you not to be caught with stolen goods in your possession, Merry Christmas.’

  ‘Thank you Pop, Tess, I don’t have anything for you, I’m sorry.’

  ‘Why are you sorry, I’m sure you remember we don’t celebrate Christmas?’

  Christmas dinner was fantastic, with a lot of food, mostly vegetables from June’s garden. There was no goose like last year, but Florence managed to get six chickens, which Connie roasted two at a time. There was also no Christmas pudding like last year, but June made some jelly and trifle, it was very nice but not as good as Christmas Pudding. Everything has been cleared away the table has been pulled back against the wall and the spare food has been put on it for us to help ourselves. I’ve already had three helpings of jelly.

  The party is in full swing we are having such a good time, singing, along with the band Jim Cutler is playing the piano, a bald headed man is playing the saxophone, another is playing trumpet and a man called Clive is playing drums. Well, not really, he has drum sticks and is playing June’s washboard a metal tea pot on a stick and a cardboard box. Julia and two other ladies are singing, ‘Don’t fence me in’

  ‘Come on girls give us ‘Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy’ somebody calls out. With out stopping, they start to sing it is amazing, they sound just like the Andrew sisters. Fred and Charlie have grabbed two girls and are jitter bugging. Reg is looking very worried as they throw the girls over their shoulders. I’m sure he is thinking that the furniture will be broken.

  I think that some of them are drunk. A lady and a man were sitting in a corner, kissing and cuddling; they had been doing it for ages somebody called out ‘Hey Doreen, why don’t you two go somewhere where you can get serious.’ I thought they looked pretty serious where they were but they still got up and went.

  Clive gives a roll on the drums and Florence shouts, ‘Listen up folks, matinee tomorrow, everybody ready for a ten o clock start.’ One by one they leave to go upstairs, leaving June, Reg, Connie, Alan, and me to look at the mess they have left behind.

  ‘Connie, I think we will just clear any food and leave the rest till tomorrow.’

  ‘That sounds like a good idea June, I’m too tired and have had too much to drink to do anymore.’

  ‘Me too, and you three boys, don’t think you are getting off Scot free, you can help.’

  ‘I’ll be back in a minute, forgot to ask Florence something.’ I manage to catch her on the stairs, ‘Florence could I go to the Panto tomorrow to see it again?’

  ‘Yes Phillip, I think I can arrange that, why don’t you bring Connie and Alan with you, they haven’t seen it? Come early to make sure I can get you seats.’

  ‘Okay Florence I’ll tell Connie’ I called her missus Rhodes once and she nearly bit my head off ‘Call me Miss, Florence, or Flo even fat bitch but never missus okay’ I wonder how she would react if I did call her fat bitch? I race back downstairs,

  ‘Connie and Alan; you’re coming with me tomorrow, to see the panto.’

  ‘Oh Phillip, I don’t think so, we can’t afford it.’

  ‘You don’t have to pay; we can go for free, you will love it.

  Our seats are in a box at the side, we are looking right down onto the stage. During the interval a man taps me on the shoulder and says, Phillip will you come with me Florence wants to see you back stage.’

  ‘I’m not coming with you; I don’t know who you are.’

  ‘I told
you, Florence sent me.’

  ‘I’m sorry, I’m not coming.’

  ‘Okay, please yourself, I’ll tell her you won’t come.’

  ‘Why not Phillip, it seemed a reasonable request?’

  ‘It probably was Connie but I can’t take the risk; it’s a long story, maybe I’ll tell you about it one day.’

  ‘Phillip Snell, I have more to do than run around after you, I need you back stage.’ Florence grabs my hand and drags me down the stairs, through a small door that looks like a curtain, into an area where people are rushing about pulling ropes, moving scenery; the actors are standing in a group ready to go on stage. ‘Can you do anything like dance, juggle, do somersaults, anything like that?’

  ‘I can swim and skip, why?’

  ‘Excellent, swimming is out, no bloody water.’ She turns to a man, ‘Do we have a skipping rope?’

  ‘Soon find one miss.’

  ‘Why do I need a skipping rope?’

  ‘So you can show me how well you skip and if you are good enough, you are going on stage with the other kids, in the village square scene.’ A rope arrives, after a couple of false starts I’m able to do the fancy foot work that I learnt for boxing training. ‘Excellent this is what you do: when the other kids run onto the stage you follow, skipping, they will sit and watch while you do some of that fancy stuff, doesn’t matter if you mess it up, just try again until the girl on the hay bale holds out her hand to you, then you sit beside her, that’s it, stay there till the curtain closes and you’re finished, simple as that.’

  ‘But I’m not sure I want to, not in front of all those people.’