A Long Way From Eden

by Jana Richards

  She took the cordless phone with her into the foyer and knelt beside Erin. The dispatcher calmly told her that the ambulance was on the way, and then asked her questions about Erin, such as her age and her general health and whether she'd been getting prenatal care. Meg answered as well as she could, but she had no idea if she had any allergies to medications, or if diabetes or heart disease ran in her family.

  After a moment or two she heard the wailing of an approaching ambulance and breathed a sigh of relief. Erin stirred and moaned, her eyelids fluttering. "Daddy?"

  Meg kissed her cheek. "Your daddy will be with you soon, sweetheart."

  She disconnected with the dispatcher and went to door to let in the ambulance attendants. They quickly lifted Erin onto a stretcher. After securely attaching her with belts and placing a blanket around her, they took her into the ambulance.

  "Are you riding with us?" one of the attendants asked.

  Meg hesitated only long enough to grab her sweater from the floor and lock the front door. "Yes, I am." She'd call Zane and Tom as soon as she got to the hospital.

  All the way to hospital she held Erin's hand and prayed. She hadn't asked for God's assistance for a very long time. When Paul began hitting her, she'd lost all faith that He could help her, and eventually came to the conclusion that she was the only one who could help herself. But now she bowed her head and clung tightly to Erin's limp hand.

  Please God keep Erin and the baby safe. Please let them live.

  Chapter Eight

  Zane's hands shook as he pushed the elevator button for the fourth floor maternity ward. He hated hospitals. He hated the antiseptic smell, the fluorescent lighting, the endlessly long corridors. And he especially hated the fact that somewhere in this hospital his daughter and grandchild were fighting for their lives.

  The elevator doors opened across from a small waiting room. Meg sat on a worn leatherette sofa while Tom prowled the floor like a caged tiger.

  "Have you heard anything yet?" Zane asked.

  "No," Meg replied. "The doctor's still examining her."

  "What the hell is taking so long?" Tom stopped his pacing long enough to run a hand through his already disheveled hair. "You'd think they could tell us something by now."

  "They have to assess her first," Meg said soothingly. "The doctor said they'd do some tests. It takes time, but they'll fill us in very soon."

  She appeared calm, as if she had complete confidence in the outcome. Zane clung to her words, needing to believe in them.

  A doctor in green scrubs pushed through the doors at the end of the corridor and came towards them. Tom advanced on the doctor, while Meg moved closer to Zane and put her hand on his arm to lend support.

  "Dr. Henderson," Tom asked without preamble. "Is Erin okay?"

  "Erin has a condition called preeclampsia. It's not uncommon in first pregnancies, especially with someone as young as she is. Her blood pressure is very high and we've discovered a protein in her urine that confirms our diagnosis. Sometimes mild cases of preeclampsia can be treated with bed rest and careful monitoring, but in Erin's case I'm recommending delivery of the baby. It's the only effective treatment. If left untreated it can be life threatening. I feel we need to deliver the baby by caesarian section immediately."

  Zane's head reeled. Visions of another antiseptic smelling hospital raced through his memory. He remembered another doctor, wearing similar hospital attire, giving him the bad news. "I'm sorry, we did everything we could, but your wife didn't make it."

  Would this doctor soon be telling him the same thing about his daughter?

  "Yes, of course, if you think that's what she needs. Is Erin going to be all right?" The words stung Zane's dry throat as he said them.

  "She got here early enough and she's young and strong," Dr. Henderson said. "She should begin to turn around once the baby is delivered."

  "And the baby?" Tom asked. "Is the baby going to be okay?"

  The doctor hesitated. "It will depend on whether the baby's lungs are well developed. Ideally, we would have liked the baby to grow for another four or five weeks, but it's not feasible in this case. We have a neonatal team standing by. They'll make sure the baby is well looked after. We'll be able to tell you more once Erin is out of surgery."

  The doctor hurried off down the hall and pushed his way through the doors once more. Zane stared after him, feeling like he'd taken a sucker punch to the gut. He'd never wanted Erin to have a baby at this point in her life, but once he got used to the idea he looked forward to grandfatherhood. The possibility that that precious life could be lost filled him with despair.

  "Why did this have to happen?" Tom began to pace once again, his agitation carrying him across the small room in three strides. "We wanted this baby so much."

  "Tom." The forcefulness in Meg's voice had them both stopping to stare at her. "We haven't lost the baby yet. Erin needs you to stay strong right now and so does your child. You're not going to let them down, are you?"

  Tom stared into his mother's calm, determined face. Finally he straightened his shoulders and shook his head. "No, I won't let them down."

  Meg nodded, satisfied. "Good. We've got a bit of a wait in front of us. Why don't you go to the cafeteria and bring us all some tea?"

  "Okay." But instead of leaving, Tom stepped toward his mother and wrapped her in his embrace. "Thanks Mom," he murmured.

  Meg rubbed his back. "Everything's going to be okay, honey. Now go."

  Tom pulled out of her arms and headed towards the elevator. Zane sighed. "I don't think I could drink a cup of tea right now."

  "It doesn't matter. Tom just needs something to do." Meg peered into Zane's face. "Erin's going to be okay. Dr. Henderson will take good care of her."

  "And the baby? What if it's too soon?" Zane heard the emotion in his voice, felt his control slip. He pressed his fingers to his eyes to stop the tears that wanted to fall.

  Meg took his arm and steered him towards the leatherette sofa. "I have a good feeling. They can do miracles for premature babies these days. We just have to stay positive, for both Erin and Tom. Erin has been looking after herself and doing all the right things. They're both going to come through this with flying colors."

  Zane nodded and clung to her hand, needing to believe her words, and needing to hang on to her faith. Meg's strength was the only thing keeping him, keeping all of them, from falling apart.

  An hour crawled slowly by. Meg kept up a steady stream of conversation, encouraging them when their spirits dipped. Finally, Dr. Henderson emerged through the swinging doors once more. Zane got slowly, carefully to his feet. Unconsciously, he reached for Meg's hand.

  "Erin came through the surgery just fine," the doctor said. He looked exhausted, as if it had been an extremely long day. He pulled off his surgical cap with a weary gesture. "She's in the recovery room."

  Zane exhaled the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "Thank God."

  Tom stepped forward, his face anxious. "Can I see her?"

  "She's still pretty woozy from the anesthesia," Dr. Henderson said. "She won't be up to much conversation."

  "I just want to sit with her."

  The doctor studied Tom for a moment and then smiled wearily. "Okay. Tell the nurses in recovery I said it was all right. And don't get in their way."

  "What about the baby, Dr. Henderson?" Meg asked. Zane heard a small quaver in her voice.

  "The neonatal team is with her now. She's underweight, but the lungs seem to be functioning properly. They think she's going to be okay, but they can give you more details on her condition later."

  Zane let out a shaky laugh. "A girl. We have a granddaughter, Meg." He extended his free hand to Tom. "Congratulations, son."

  Tom grinned and took his hand, clearly relieved by the doctor's news. "Thanks. The same to you." He turned to Dr. Henderson. "How do I get to the recovery room?"

  "I'm on my way there. Follow me."

  Tom strode off down the hall with the doctor
, a definite spring in his step. Zane turned to look into Meg's face. She appeared pale and stricken. "You heard what the doctor said, didn't you? Erin and the baby are going to be okay."

  She nodded her head. "Yes, I heard." Her voice was barely a whisper. "I was so scared." She choked back a sob as tears flowed down her cheeks.

  Zane pulled her into his arms and held her tight. "Hey, you can't fall apart on me now. What happened to my tower of strength?"

  Meg's voice sounded muffled against his shirt. "I think she folded like a house of cards."

  Zane chuckled, and kissed the top of her head. "Well, you can cry as much as you want now." He ran a hand over her back, trying to give her as much comfort as she'd given him. "Everything's going to be okay now, sweetheart."

  "We could have lost them, Zane." Her voice hitched and her body shuddered.

  He held her a little tighter. "I know, but we didn't. Don't think about it anymore. Just think about our beautiful little granddaughter and how much fun we're going to have with her."

  "Yes." She took a deep breath and looked up into his face. "You're right. I'm sorry for being so crazy."

  Zane felt his body stir as he looked into her eyes. A tear slid down her cheek and he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb, while his heart slammed against his chest. He never expected to feel this giddiness, this excitement again, not at his age. Looking at Meg, he felt as if he were on the downside of a roller coaster ride, his stomach and his heart remaining on the summit. It was an uncomfortable, unfamiliar feeling, one he wasn't sure he wanted to succumb to. He gently drew away from her arms.

  "Why don't we check to see if they'll let us see the baby?"

  Meg smiled as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "That's a good idea."

  He resisted the urge to take her hand as they walked toward the nursery, and wondered how long he'd be able to resist the rest of the beautiful Ms. Evans.

  * * * *

  Meg peeked into Erin's hospital room, a bouquet of flowers in her hand. The young woman rested against her pillow, her eyes closed, and Meg began to leave, not wanting to disturb her. Erin's eyes fluttered opened and she smiled.

  "Meg, don't go. I'm awake."

  She brushed the fair hair from the younger woman's face. "Are you sure? You could rest and I could come back later."

  "No, stay. I'd like some company," she said, taking her hand. "You brought flowers. They're beautiful, thank you."

  Meg set the flowers on a side table. "It's nothing much. I was going to bring a fruit basket but one of the nurses told me you wouldn't be eating solids for a day or two after the surgery."

  Erin groaned. "I never thought I could ever get sick of Jell-O, but after I get out of the hospital I won't want to see any for a very long time."

  Meg laughed. "And here I'd planned to teach you how to make Jell-O surprise in your next cooking lesson."

  "Oh, don't make me laugh." Erin held her hand over her abdomen, a grin on her face. "I just had a baby, you know."

  "Yeah, you sure did, honey." Meg smoothed Erin's hair once more. "Your dad and I saw her last night through the window of the nursery. She's so tiny. They had her in the incubator to keep her warm, and she had a cute little pink hat on her head. Her eyebrows and lashes are fair like yours, but I think she has Tommy's nose." She smiled. "I can hardly wait until I can hold her."

  "I fed her in the nursery. One of the nurses is helping me with breast-feeding. Did you do that?"

  "No. I gave Tommy formula from a bottle."

  "I'd like to nurse her, at least for a few months, but it's a lot harder than I thought it would be."

  Meg nodded. "How are you feeling?"

  "Still a little groggy, and pretty sore from the caesarian, but better than I felt yesterday."

  "Yeah, me too," Meg said with a little laugh that was in danger of turning into tears. She squeezed the girl's hand. "You gave us quite a scare."

  "I know, and I'm sorry."

  "You've got nothing to be sorry about. You can't help being sick."

  "I should have gone to the doctor right away when I started getting headaches and feeling dizzy, but I didn't want to worry anyone and I didn't want to believe anything was wrong with me or the baby."

  "You were dizzy, too? You never said anything."

  "I know, I should've told you. I'm sorry."

  "Well, you know better now. Don't ever take your health for granted. I'm going to make sure you take good care of yourself from now on." She kissed Erin's forehead. "You rest now. I'm going to go see my granddaughter."

  "Will I see you later?"

  "Of course," Meg said with a grin. "Maybe I'll smuggle in some garlic toast for you."

  Erin gave her the thumbs up. "Awesome."

  Meg made her way to the neo-natal nursery, signed in at the desk and donned a gown and mask before going inside. Tom sat in a rocking chair holding the baby in his arms. Even with the mask on his face, she could tell he had a besotted smile on his face as he gazed into his daughter's eyes. Meg felt a lump in her throat at the picture they made.

  Tom looked up as she approached. "Hi. Would you like to meet my daughter?"

  "I'd love to."

  He passed the baby to her as carefully as he might handle spun glass. Meg cradled her close and examined her tiny, delicate hand. "You're so perfect, sweetheart," she crooned softly. The baby watched her face closely with her dark, opaque eyes. "She's beautiful, Tom."

  "Yeah, she is." Tom stood and looked over Meg's shoulder. She turned to look in his face and saw the pride and happiness in his eyes, as well as the love he felt for his child. He touched the baby's tiny hat. "Was it like this for you when I was born? Did you feel this overwhelming love, this feeling that you would do anything, absolutely anything for your child?"

  "Yes, I felt that way." She laid her hand on Tom's cheek. "I still do."

  Tom kissed her cheek and put his arm around her shoulders. "You've always been a terrific mother. I hope I can do half as good a job as a parent as you did."

  Now she really was going to cry. "Have you thought of any names?" she asked after she composed herself.

  "Erin would like to name her after her mother, so we're going to call her Anna. Anna Margaret Emily. She'll be named after both her grandmothers and her great-grandmother."

  "Oh Tommy." The tears came in earnest now. "I'm truly touched. Thank you."

  "I really love them, Mom." Tom tenderly caressed baby Anna's cheek. "I didn't realize how much until I almost lost them both."

  Meg felt thrilled at her son's declaration, knowing how much Erin loved Tom. She hoped that now that he had a family of his own, Tom would forget about trying to learn about his own father. She turned her head away guiltily at her selfish thought.

  "But you didn't. Everything's going to be okay now."

  Tom nodded. "There's something else. I want to give Anna my name, my real name. And I'm going to start using my birth name as well."

  She shouldn't be surprised or shocked at this news and still she was. Tom had known since he was fifteen that Evans was not his real name. When he'd applied for his social insurance number and his driver's permit, Meg got a copy of his birth certificate and he'd seen his real last name for the first time. Meg had explained that she'd taken the Evans name because the family had been so good to them and treated them like family and this was her way of saying thank you. It hadn't been a lie, she rationalized, just not the entire truth. At the time, Tom had accepted her explanation, but he was a smart kid and she knew he suspected there was more to her story.

  "I'm going to use Clifford as my last name from now on and I want Anna to use it as well. I'm not doing this to be disrespectful to Grandpa Joe and Grandma Maria or to hurt you. I just feel I have a right to claim my name. I don't really understand your reasons for changing our last name, or the reason why you don't want me to go to your hometown. Maybe someday you'll be able to tell me. Just remember, I'm not a kid who needs to be protected from the truth anymore."

&
nbsp; No, he wasn't a kid at all anymore. When Meg looked into the dark eyes of her handsome son, she saw a man looking back at her. The birth of his daughter had hastened his transformation from childhood to maturity, but he'd been going in that direction for a long time. Could he possibly understand what she'd done? Maybe now that he had a child of his own he'd appreciate the lengths a parent would go to in order to protect her child. But Tom was still her child, and old habits died hard. She told herself she was protecting him from the ugly truth, but part of her knew she was protecting herself.

  Meg turned to put baby Anna back in his arms. When she looked into his face, she saw he was waiting for her to speak, waiting for some kind of comment. She cleared her throat. "You have every right to use your birth name, and to have Anna use it as well. I prefer to continue using Evans."

  Tom nodded. "Okay, Mom."

  She saw his disappointment that she hadn't provided any other explanation. Perhaps someday she'd be able to tell the truth. But would their relationship survive that truth?

  * * * *

  Zane looked out the window of his tenth story office in downtown Winnipeg. The heat that had seared the city all through August had abated, leaving a touch of fall in the air. Some of the trees on the banks of Red River already sported their autumn colors of orange and gold. In two days the month would be over and a new phase of his life would begin. His daughter would bring his granddaughter home.

  It had been a long time since there'd been a baby in the house, and the thought made him smile. Baby Anna. He'd been surprised when Erin and Tom announced the name of their child. He supposed it was only natural for Erin to want some sort of connection to her own mother now that she was a mother herself. Lord knows, he thought with a tinge of bitterness, Anna didn't make much of a connection to the girl when she was alive.

  He threw off the disquieting thought. Another surprise had been the baby's last name. Tom announced that from now on he and Anna would use his last name at birth, Clifford. He remembered the tense look on Meg's face when her son made the announcement and wondered why it seemed to upset her. He wished she would open up to him. She'd told him few details of her past life, and only that part of her history that had occurred since she'd arrived in Winnipeg. It was as if she tried to pretend that her life only began when she'd moved here.