Bad Case of Loving You

by Deborah Cooke

  One she obviously hadn’t sent.

  “Aren’t you going?” he asked in surprise.

  “No, I’m too busy this time of year,” Chynna said. “I’ll send them my good wishes.

  Theo took a deliberate survey of the empty shop. “I don’t see a line.”

  “Well, it can get crowded.” She sounded defensive.

  “Why don’t you want to go?” he asked gently. “You helped them find happiness. That’s a party you should attend.”

  “I think it’s too late to respond that I’m coming.”

  Theo glanced down at the RSVP. “There’s an email address for replying. You could tell them now.”

  “I don’t have a way to get to Maine.”

  “Take the train. Rent a car. It’s not far.” Theo recognized excuses when he heard them.

  Chynna sighed and fixed him with a look.

  “Don’t like weddings?” he asked.

  She wrinkled her nose. “Don’t do well at Christmas.”

  And there it was again, the sense that she’d suffered a loss and was still putting her life together. “All the more reason to go. I find that in challenging moments, it’s better not to be alone.”

  “You have challenging moments?”

  “Everyone does, Chynna. And a lot of people have them over the holidays.” He smiled at her again. “Be kind to yourself. This sounds like fun. There must be someone you can call to help you get there. Or the bride and groom might find a solution just to have you in attendance, especially if you brought them together.”

  Chynna stared at the invite. “I could call Reyna to meet me in Portland,” she admitted slowly. “But I can’t take Tristan on the train.” The raven bounced a little, obviously recognizing its name. “And I don’t know anyone who would take him at the last minute.”

  Theo saw an easy solution. “I can take him for a few days if you tell me what he eats.” The raven flew to land on Theo’s finger and rubbed his beak on Theo’s thumb, the bird’s move making Theo feel like they were in agreement. “He wouldn’t even have to leave the building.”

  “I don’t have anything to wear,” Chynna said and Theo laughed.

  “If you brought the happy couple together, all they’ll care about is that you’re there to share their joy.”

  Chynna sighed. “If I go, I’ll have to go now to get there in time, so I won’t be able to give away my secret heart tattoo at the club tonight. It’s bad luck to stop something like this once you’ve started.”

  “That’s your last excuse?”

  “Yes.”

  “And if that were solved, you’d go?”

  Chynna took a deep breath. “Yes,” she agreed, obviously pretty sure she wasn’t risking much.

  “Then give the tattoo to me,” he offered. Why not? It might even work.

  Chynna was visibly astonished. “Mar your blank canvas?”

  “Well, it’s a good cause. And it’s just a little heart.” He moved his hand and Tristan flew back to his trinket box.

  How much could it hurt?

  It just stung a little.

  Theo was surprised to find that he liked the look of the tattoo. He even thought it looked a bit plain all by itself, like he should add more.

  He’d wait and see how it healed. Chynna helped him to move the raven up to his apartment, where Tristan hopped across the counter, exploring.

  “He likes old movies,” Chynna said. “Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.”

  Theo felt his brows rise high and she laughed, then he told her to hurry and catch her train. She kissed his cheek, clearly still nervous about the trip, then left.

  To Theo’s relief, Tristan wasn’t particularly troubled by her departure. He hopped along the counter, then eyed his own reflection in the stainless steel fridge. He made a call to himself that sounded like a question then nodded some more.

  Theo hung up his suit jacket and put away his shoes. He kept one eye on the bird as he changed into sweats and a T-shirt, then checked the movie guide to see if there was anything Tristan would like.

  There was, and Theo had some leftover curry in the fridge for dinner. He put on the movie, half-watching Tristan hop on the coffee table, and heated up his dinner.

  He was going to sleep well.

  Unless, of course, he started thinking about Lyssa.

  Maybe he’d have sweet dreams.

  Four

  Lyssa’s Christmas vacation with Logan started well: they both slept in. She laid in bed for a few moments just enjoying the prospect of having no limos, no staff, no list of obligations. Then she went down to the hotel gym, leaving a note for Logan, and skipped that pizza and wine away. By the time she got back to the room, he was up and choosing breakfast from room service.

  Their first festive event was the Skype call with Franco and Giancarlo on Sunday morning. Lyssa had known them almost as long as she’d been a model and they were good friends. They adored Logan, too. Logan was bouncing with excitement and the pair looked just as thrilled. Lyssa smiled as good wishes and compliments were exchanged.

  “It’s not Christmas without you!” Giancarlo protested, always the effusive one. He was a stylist who had worked with all of the big houses and was always involved in the big Fashion Week shows in Milan. “All of Tuscany mourns your absence.”

  “Well, maybe just this little corner of it,” Franco said with a smile. He was tall and lean, a man of comparatively few words, and a brilliant photographer.

  “We miss you, too,” Logan said. “We sent you the best present.”

  “The best present would be you here for Christmas, as usual,” Giancarlo said, feigning a pout. “I am cooking as if you are here. The fish was so beautiful. I will make it again when you are here in February...”

  “I won’t be there in February,” Lyssa said and the pair fell silent in shock.

  “Can I tell them?” Logan asked in a whisper and she nodded. Franco’s eyes narrowed a little, as if he suspected something, and Giancarlo looked bewildered.

  “Not here? How can that be?” he said. “There will be Fashion Week in Paris and then in Milan, and...”

  Franco put a hand on his partner’s arm. “Why won’t she be here, Logan?”

  “Because she’s retiring! And we’re going to buy an apartment this week here and I’ll get my own room and everything. We’re going to look at apartments today. And next year, you have to come visit us at Christmas!”

  The pair exchanged a glance, their astonishment obvious. “But you never mentioned it,” Franco said to Lyssa.

  She felt herself flush. If she’d trusted anyone with the news, it should have been this pair of good friends. “I had to come here first and see if it could work.”

  Franco shook his head and she knew he had more to say.

  “But why now?” Giancarlo demanded.

  “Because I asked,” Logan said with pride. “At Thanksgiving, I told Mom that I wanted to live like normal people and have a room of my own that wasn’t in a hotel.”

  “You must be careful, Logan,” Franco said. “Your wishes have great power. If your dreams can change the world, then you must be sure to dream of only the best things.”

  “I will!” Logan said.

  “Why don’t you get your gift from Franco and Giancarlo and open it while we’re on the call?” Lyssa said. “It’s tucked into my carry-on bag.” He ran immediately to her room to get the package. He’d have to go through the bag to find it. That would give her a minute. “I wasn’t sure,” she whispered to Franco and Giancarlo.

  “And this is when you talk to your friends, Lyssa,” Franco chided softly. “When you’re not sure. Are we not your friends?”

  “My best friends.”

  “And yet, your wall is high and impenetrable, even against us.” He shook his head, so disappointed in her that she felt terrible.

  “I just...”

  “You just are afraid to trust,” Giancarlo said, his tone reassuring.

  “You believe you must be alone
to be strong,” Franco added.

  “But we are all stronger with friends,” Giancarlo said.

  “It’s not the same for me,” she began to protest. “You two have each other...”

  “But you must trust someone, Lyssa,” Giancarlo continued. “You must open your heart to someone other than Logan, otherwise you are no more than the persona you have constructed for the world to admire.” He made a cracking motion with his hands, as if he was opening an egg. “And it will be an empty shell, with no heart inside.”

  She dropped her gaze, knowing she’d let them down but also recognizing her own wariness in trusting others. Relying on people meant they could let you down, and she hated being vulnerable.

  She’d vowed never to be so again.

  “What are you going to do with your time?” Franco asked, ever the practical one.

  “I’m not sure,” she admitted and they both smiled. “I thought I might learn to cook.”

  “Your soul will need food, too, Lyssa,” Franco said.

  “Trust your heart,” Giancarlo said with characteristic warmth. “And listen to it as well as you listen to Logan.”

  Lyssa smiled as Logan came charging back across the room. He dropped onto the seat beside her. “It’s small,” he said of the package he held.

  “Have you not heard that the best things come in small packages?” Franco teased.

  It turned out that there was a card inside, explaining that they’d bought Logan a monthly subscription box with a focus on biology. Each month would feature activities and experiments that Logan could do wherever he was. It was the kind of active learning that worked best for Logan and a perfect gift.

  Logan was thrilled. Lyssa promised to go online and book the first delivery as soon as they got off the call.

  “Where will this apartment be?” Giancarlo asked.

  “Maybe near the park,” Logan said. “And close to Simon.”

  “Friends are of the greatest import,” Giancarlo said to Logan, but Lyssa knew he was speaking to her, too. “Tell me about Simon.”

  Logan did, with great enthusiasm, and Lyssa was aware that Franco was watching her.

  “Open your heart,” he mouthed to Lyssa and she nodded understanding.

  “I’m sorry,” she mouthed back but he waved off her apology.

  “Be happy,” he said aloud when they ended the call with a thousand kisses and promises of pictures as well as visits.

  “Now, we have to find the perfect apartment,” Logan said.

  “And we have to learn to cook. Giancarlo is always hungry.”

  “So am I!” Logan said and they headed out to meet the real estate agent together.

  Open her heart. It was easier said than done.

  And why did those three words bring Lyssa’s thoughts squarely back to Theo? Maybe because he would have agreed with Franco and Giancarlo. How interesting to think that they might have really liked each other.

  They’d never meet, of course, so it didn’t matter, but Lyssa liked the idea all the same.

  Lyssa and Logan spent two hours with the real estate agent, then checked out the holiday windows at the big department stores after lunch. They walked through the Christmas market at Bryant Park, too. Logan pronounced these to be boring, but Lyssa loved them. She threatened to take him to the market at Union Square as well, and he negotiated for an afternoon at the museum the next day in exchange. She bought a little artificial Christmas tree that was already decorated from one vendor and they brought it back to the hotel room. They went to a restaurant on the Upper West Side that Giancarlo had recommended and checked out what might become their new neighborhood. They compared notes on the apartments they’d seen so far, and updated their expectations for the real estate agent.

  That night, Lyssa curled up on the couch in the hotel suite and watched everything new on the Flatiron Five YouTube channel. Theo’s second pop-up was at the Cloisters museum, which she’d never visited, and the juxtaposition of Madonna’s Express Yourself against the medieval architecture was wonderful. It had been a perfect sunny winter day, which didn’t hurt either.

  Monday was Christmas Eve and they were going to the Berensteins’ for Chinese food. After another intense morning of checking out real estate—Logan was learning to ask great questions—they met Sandra and Simon at the American Museum of Natural History. They were crossing the great hall, the boys running ahead, when Lyssa saw a guy in black put down a boom box in the middle of the floor.

  He left it there.

  Another guy crossed the great hall, heading toward the boom box, and Lyssa knew.

  She grabbed Sandra’s hand. “It’s a pop-up,” she whispered and Sandra eyed her in confusion. “For the Flatiron Five fitness club. I saw one on the way to your place on Saturday.”

  Logan had noticed as well and he spun to face Lyssa. “The guy is here!” he shouted and she beckoned to him as the blond woman from F5 strolled to the middle of the floor.

  “What guy?” Sandra asked in a whisper.

  “The British guy,” Logan replied. “Theo Tremblay.”

  “God, he’s so hot,” a woman near them said as Theo joined the blond.

  Lyssa held tightly to Logan’s hand as the music started. It was Born This Way, and the dancers each put on a Santa Claus hat as they joined in. There was a hum of excitement in the museum and people cleared back to the perimeter, making room for the dancers and cameramen.

  She couldn’t even look at Sandra, well aware that her friend was watching her expression and considering Logan’s words. “That guy,” Sandra murmured, her tone knowing, and Lyssa feared she’d made the connection.

  The choreography was good, and Lyssa liked Theo’s version better than Kyle’s. It was impressive how toned the dancers were, but then it was a promotion for a fitness club. She was aware of the reflections from all the cellphones as people recorded it themselves, but her attention was fixed on Theo.

  Gorgeous, graceful, powerful. He’d always been fit and handsome, but seeing him dance like this—putting himself out there as he hadn’t in college—showed a verve and confidence she hadn’t known he possessed. It made Theo a thousand times more attractive. And he moved like a panther, completely at ease with his body and what it could do.

  Lyssa’s mouth went dry at the memory of other things he could do, and did so very very well. Was she glossing the memory? Or had sex with Theo really been so incredible?

  Would it be better now?

  On impulse, Lyssa decided. She did need to be with him one last time. She had to know.

  It would be today.

  She leaned over to Sandra and dropped her voice to a whisper. “Can I leave Logan with you for a couple of hours?”

  Sandra’s gaze flicked to the dancers, then back to Lyssa. “Something you need to do?”

  Lyssa nodded and didn’t hide the name displayed in her list of contacts when she pulled up Theo’s number.

  Sandra noticed, then smiled. “You owe me a story,” she said softly, ensuring the boys couldn’t hear.

  “Deal,” Lyssa said, then bent to Logan. “Stay with Sandra and Simon, okay? I’ve got to take care of something. I’ll see you at their apartment later.”

  “Okay. Don’t be late for dinner.” He gave her a kiss and a thumbs-up, then Lyssa ducked out of the crowd. She waited until Theo had given out the last of the T-shirts and signed autographs, then called him, her heart in her throat.

  What if he declined?

  Theo didn’t even look at the caller when his phone rang. He assumed it was Kyle and was startled when Lyssa spoke in his ear.

  “Hi,” she said, sounding both excited and uncertain. “I’m here. You were great.”

  He turned and looked around, scanning the crowd but not spotting her. “You’re doing well with that blending in,” he said and she laughed. “Cancelling already?”

  “I can meet you now,” she said, breathless. “Just an hour. But now.”

  “Okay.” Theo reviewed his commitments and kne
w he could take a break. “Meet you in the lobby?”

  “No. I’m staying at the Plaza. Come there.”

  Theo was surprised, but he supposed if she wanted to talk in private, a hotel room would be best. Then he wondered. “You’re not walking?”

  “No, I’ll grab a cab.”

  “We could share one.”

  She laughed a little. “But then I won’t be able to clean up the room before Mr. Neat Freak arrives.”

  “I never minded your clutter.”

  “Well, maybe it’s worse than it used to be. I need to take care of it.”

  “How long should I wait?”

  “Give me a twenty minute head start.” She gave him a room number, then ended the call before he could argue.

  The Park Plaza. Theo stared at his phone. Was it a coincidence that she was staying at the same hotel they’d gone to eleven years before? He remembered every minute of that night, of how it felt stolen out of time, of how it came to feel like the last perfect moment. She’d probably forgotten. She probably stayed at whatever luxury hotel she wanted.

  He put his phone away, unable to stifle his sense of anticipation.

  An hour with Lyssa. In a way, it was a dream come true.

  It wasn’t just curiosity about whatever she wanted to tell him. He’d be alone with Lyssa and that was an enticing possibility, no matter how uncertain he was of her intentions.

  Lyssa had to hide every sign of Logan’s existence, and fast.

  The maids hadn’t taken the room service tray from breakfast yet, even though she’d left it outside the door, and two of everything was too much information. She moved it down the hall so it was outside the next door.

  She went through the main room of the hotel suite like a whirlwind. She threw her trapper hat and coat on the couch and kicked off her boots, gathering books about dinosaurs and marine life with one hand, and small sweaters with the other. There was a pair of boys’ socks under the coffee table and the charger for a second cell phone on the end table. She swept it all up and dumped it on the quilt on the bed in the room Logan was using, then prowled the main room again. She almost missed the backpack on the chair by the window and had just put it in Logan’s room when there was a decisive knock at the door. She closed the door to that bedroom, took one last look then opened the door to the hall.