The Smartest Girl in the Room

by Deborah Nam-Krane

  "Er, not yet."

  "Wasn’t it due today?"

  "It was, but she agreed to give me an extension."

  "She’s pretty nice."

  "And reasonable. I’m kind of in the midst of a housing drama right now."

  "You’ve got to be kidding me."

  "No, seriously. It turns out one of my roommates was stashing some ‘stuff’ in our dorm, and after the police flipped over everything, they decided I wasn't involved."

  "What?" It was a relief to listen to someone else’s drama.

  "My fingerprints weren’t on any of the baggies or paraphernalia, but everyone else’s were. So, after getting something of an apology from the university and the police, I got my lawyer to throw in a new place. The catch is that I have to move right now, so my finals are screwed."

  "That’s a good lawyer. I thought student housing was at a premium here."

  "Oh, it is," Drew nodded, his eyes widening a bit. "But there’s always something they keep for their VIPs- graduate students, football jocks, you know- and now one of them is mine."

  "Finally, the recognition you deserve. But... what about your roommates?"

  "My ex-roommates are going to do a little singing for the feds before they come back, or so I heard."

  "No witness protection program or anything like that?"

  "The stuff wasn’t that good. There was a lot of it though."

  "And how did you miss all this?"

  "You’re not the only smart one here."

  She absorbed what he said for a moment. "How long did you know?"

  "You could pretty much smell it on them as soon as you walked in, and then there were the visitors and the long ‘conversations’ in the bathroom."

  "And of course you had nothing to do with their bust?"

  "Would I turn on my roommates, who never once even offered me a puff?"

  Emily was genuinely surprised. "Let me guess: you heard about some housing opening up, and you thought it might be a good time to talk to someone?"

  "You know, it’s funny, but the cops and the university said that they had no idea- absolutely none- how they came into this information." He shrugged. "It must have been an anonymous tip."

  "Lucky you." Who was she to judge right now?

  "I am feeling lucky today." He moved in a little closer. He had a strong body odor that almost made her stand back. "I think I’d like to share my good fortune with someone right now."

  "Really? And who did you have in mind?"

  "I don’t know. Can you think of anyone who might want to have lunch on my dime?"

  "Lunch?" She shuddered a little. "No, I don’t think I could eat anything right now. But maybe a drink would be nice."

  "What did you have in mind? More chamomile tea?"

  She was touched that he remembered. "Chamomile tea sounds like just what the doctor ordered."

  "Let’s go."

  "Don’t you have moving to do and finals to study for?"

  "Eh, it can wait!" He grabbed her hand. "Come on. I feel like celebrating!"

  They made it over to Princess Cappuccino and meandered into a conversation about his hometown in Ohio. He had two younger sisters, a mother and father, and two grandfathers. He was from old Swedish stock on both sides, although there were rumors of English interference in the 1850s. "Nothing was ever proven though," he said with a big wink.

  During the next two hours, Emily learned he had done extremely well in high school- "Top one percent of my class"- but that the financing for Harvard that his father had painstakingly worked out fell through at the eleventh hour because "some well-connected rich kid, who was in the fiftieth percentile, needed the cash award from the organization so that his dad’s company could ‘match’ the scholarship funds. Not like he was going to spend any of his own money." Thus he ended up at their university, which hadn’t even been a safety school for him, because everywhere else had filled up by the time he found out. Luckily, there had still been some scholarship money available, but not the Kay Scholarship money.

  Emily reviewed what he said and compared it to what he had said before about his guidance counselor screwing up the application. Which was it? Her first instinct was to confront him, but something told her that he might not bear close scrutiny.

  When Emily returned her attention to him, she heard him say something about his "druggie" period. "I’m sorry, what?"

  "Did I say that out loud?"

  "When was this?"

  "My last year of high school. I guess the stress of applying to college got to me. So I started taking some pills."

  "What kind of pills?"

  "Anything I could get my hands on. I’d go to my friends’ houses and pull a couple of whatever was in the medicine cabinet."

  Yet more surprises. "That’s pretty crazy, even for a high school senior."

  "I wouldn’t take them until I could look them up. If they were an upper and I wanted a downer, or vice versa, I’d save them until the time came handy. It’s the spendthrift’s answer to drug abuse."

  "If the question needs answering. Did anything ever happen?"

  "I threw up a couple of times, and I almost passed out once in class. But nothing serious."

  "So why did you stop?"

  "Honestly? I felt like an idiot. I kept finding myself in situations I didn’t want to be in."

  "Like what?"

  "Like... being in the backseat of some football player’s car with one of the cheerleaders, and not remembering how we got there, or what her name was. Or driving around and not remembering where I was or why I was there." He shook his head. "It was scary. I guess you do it to lose control, but losing control isn’t as much fun as it sounds."

  "I never would have guessed. But I guess you never do, right? And it’s totally foreign to me, because the most I ever did was drink a little…"

  "Yeah, I had a little bit of an alcoholic period with the pills. Again, people’s parents’ stash of whatever. That was a little bit more fun, I guess..."

  Emily wasn’t offended. She didn’t want to talk about herself today but she noted how easily he made everything come back to him.

  Drew looked at his watch ten minutes later. "Oops- got to meet Richard. He's helping me move into my new place."

  "Oh." Emily hadn't pegged Richard as the best person for physical labor. "Tell him I said hi. And then I guess you should study?"

  "Study schmudy. I’ve got a pretty good excuse, and more importantly, I’ve got walks out of most of my classes. That’s what break is for!"

  "Weren’t you going to go home?"

  He shrugged. "I’ll probably pop on home for a few days for Christmas, but... it’s a small house, and I honestly think they’re happy not to have me there too much."

  "Sorry. At least you’ll have a cool new place to come back to."

  "I do! And you know you should come see it sometime. What are you doing tomorrow?"

  She took a deep breath. "Shopping."

  "Shopping?"

  "Of sorts."

  "Well, maybe when you’re done you can pay me a visit?"

  "I have to see where I am with my exams but maybe later this week." Why not?

  Emily called Zainab once Drew left. "Do not lecture me about finals right now!"

  "Bad friend that I am, that wasn’t why I called. Are you around tomorrow morning?"

  CHAPTER 16

  On Tuesday morning, Mitch handed in his last paper. He had a rough test ahead of him that afternoon and then another one on Thursday, but then he was done. It was ten-thirty. He looked at his watch and decided he needed a good walk to clear his head. Fifteen minutes later, he realized that he was walking towards Kyra’s. He grinned. His test wasn’t for another three hours, and he had studied hard. He could take a little break.

  Mitch climbed the stairs to her floor and knocked on her door. He heard her running to open it. "Hey you!" she said as she opened the door. "Oh!"

  He kissed her. "Were you expecting someone else?"

&n
bsp; She pulled away. "Actually, yeah, my friend Sarah is coming over. We were going to do a little shopping before our next test."

  "When is that? I’ve got a test at two which I should be done with at four, but then I’m-"

  Kyra shook her head. "Today isn’t a good day. I’ve got to cram for my final tomorrow."

  Mitch leaned against the doorway. "But you’ve got enough time to go shopping?"

  She threw up her hands. "I’ve had this planned for a while."

  "Uh huh." Her shoes were off, and she wasn’t dressed to go out. She was in silky pajamas, but her hair was still a little damp from a recent shower. "And when is she coming over?"

  "In, like, ten minutes."

  He decided to be brave even if it made him sick. "And you’re in a big rush, right? The sooner I leave the better?"

  Kyra closed her eyes. "Mitch-"

  "Jesus Christ, how stupid do I look?" He stormed off and headed for the stairway. As he stalked down the stairs, he heard Kyra calling his name.

  When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he saw a clean cut blonde man in the lobby. "Of course."

  The other man looked puzzled. "Excuse me?"

  "Yeah, I suppose."

  Mitch started walking towards Newbury Street, but he had no idea where he was going.

  Two minutes later, his phone rang. His first inclination was to smash it, but it occurred to him that it might be difficult to replace before he had to leave. He hit Ignore and kept walking. It rang again. And again. After the fifth cycle, he picked up.

  "What?"

  "Let me explain."

  "I think I got it. Sorry, that’s not my scene, and I don’t like looking like a fool."

  "I don’t think you’re a fool." He could hear the tears in her voice. "You don’t understand. I’ve been with Todd since I got here."

  Mitch hadn’t thought he could feel worse, but that did it. "And when were you going to mention that?"

  "I... I don’t know." She sniffled. "I thought everything was okay with him, but then I met you. I didn’t think... I didn’t plan any of this."

  "Congratulations, but you still let it happen."

  "God, do you think I am proud of any of this?" She was sobbing now. "Todd has been everything for me, but I’ve never felt the way I do about you. I didn’t know what to do."

  "You wanted to eat your cake and have it, too. And maybe you can, but not with me. Goodbye Kyra." He hung up the phone and walked to the university, trying to shut off his brain. When he did hear himself thinking, it was How could I have been so stupid? and I’ve been a fool.

  He looked at his watch. Somehow he had wandered around for so long that it was now one. How was he supposed to take this final now? His brain was screaming, but he made it back to the university and to the class he needed to get to by one-forty-five. Just get through the next two hours. He was calmed down and ready to go when his phone rang. He shut off the phone, but his head was pounding. When the professor passed out the test five minutes later, he was on another plane. By two-fifteen he was ready to start, but it was slow going. At four he was only half-way through the last question when the proctor ordered pens down. Feeling nauseous, he handed in his test and stalked off.

  The tears started to flow as soon as he hit the cold air. All of the little pieces fit into place now. The passionate quickies, the air of naughtiness, the polite rush out the door, all clicked. He scoffed at his earlier observations that he was lucky she wasn’t clingy. How the Hell was he going to get through this stupid trip now?

  "Mitch?" He turned around. It took him a moment to recognize Miranda from the Hillel.

  She put her hand on his arm. "Is everything okay?"

  "I’m such an idiot," he whispered.

  "It didn’t go so well with girl number two?"

  He laughed and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. It turns out I was ‘the other guy.’ I guess that’s what I get, huh?"

  "I'm so sorry. But everything can be fixed. You have to believe that. Maybe this is a sign."

  "Boy, you really are pretty religious, huh?"

  "Whatever you want to call it. I think you needed an opportunity, now you have one. Do the right thing, even if it’s hard." She looked at her watch. "I’ve got to go, but you can fix this."

  He stumbled to a bench. He had been trying to not think it the whole time he walked to class and even while taking his final. What a fool he had been to let something good go so he could take something easy. He turned on his phone. He could fix it right now.

  He looked at his phone. What was he going to say? What could he say that wouldn’t make him sound like the idiot he was? Maybe he should wait a few days, when he didn’t look so desperate. Then his brain started screaming again. He was going to leave next week. It was now or never.

  He took a deep breath and prepared to dial. Then the phone rang. It was Kyra. He let it ring three times before he answered it. "What?" he said dully.

  "Please tell me you can talk now." There was a catch in her voice, but she wasn't crying.

  "You’re done with your other toy already?"

  "That isn’t what I think of you."

  "What do you think?" he hissed. "Was I going to be your distraction while you were in Ireland, and then we’d get back and you’d come up with some excuse to break it off? How long were you going to play me?"

  "I don’t- I wasn’t trying to play you. God, Mitch, I fell in love with you. I am in love with you."

  "Oh really? But not in love enough that you could tear yourself away from Todd, right? This is crap and you know it. You would have had us both hanging on a string if I hadn’t surprised you today."

  "I didn’t know what to do." She was crying again. "I didn’t want to hurt either of you, okay? I am in love with you, but Todd has been with me through so much. I didn’t want to cut his heart out, but I just did. I broke it off with him." Silence. "Did you hear me? I broke it off with him. There is only you now."

  Mitch took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. "Mitch! Please say something."

  "You broke it off, or he broke it off?"

  "I broke it off. I couldn’t do this anymore. I... I want to be with you, okay? Just you."

  It hurt his head to think. "Fine," he said. This time he knew it was the easy choice.

  He could hear her sigh. "Mitch, please come back."

  "I just killed myself in one final and I’ve got another one tomorrow. This is too much right now."

  "Please, let me make it better."

  "If I come over now, I need to stay. I mean it, I’m pretty drained right now."

  "Of course," she said breathlessly. "Just come back."

  "Fine. I’ll be over in a little while." He hung up and looked at his phone for a very long time. This was easy only because something else was harder.

  ~~~

  Ten minutes after Mitch had stomped past Gainsborough Street on his way to his final, Emily walked into Princess Cappuccino to meet Zainab. "So," Emily said, putting down her bag, "how are finals going? Should I be sorry I let you slip from my clutches?" She would much rather have been riding Zainab this week than apartment hunting.

  "Ugh! I’ll pass, but with humiliation. Do they give that out?"

  Emily sank into her chair. "You have no idea."

  "Oh my God, are you trying to tell me that there was a class you didn’t ace?"

  "Believe it or not, there are worse forms of humiliation." Zainab raised her eyebrows, but Emily waved it off. "Some other time, I promise." It was so hard for her not to break down and cry. "That wasn’t what I wanted to talk to you about."

  "All ears."

  "I think Drew likes me."

  "Was that not obvious?"

  "Yeah, okay, but... I don’t know how I feel about it."

  "Meaning you’re not as disgusted by the idea as you were before?"

  "I think ‘disgusted’ is a strong word, but let’s say I don’t find it as amusing as I did before."

  "
What made you change your mind?"

  "I... I don’t know. I guess I’ve been talking to him more and he seems less dorky."

  "And not being dorky has always been a great reason to date someone." Zainab put her hand on her chin. "Since when have you had such low standards?"

  "Since I got a taste of what not being lonely looked like, I guess."

  Zainab reached her hand out to Emily. "Do you want my permission? Are you asking me to tell you something else? Because..." she took a deep breath. "Mitch is gone, or just about. He’s going to Ireland."

  "To live?" Then she would never, ever have to worry about seeing him again.

  "I don’t think so. I think it’s just one of the exchange programs. He’s gone for three months."

  "Congratulations. But what does that have to do with me?"

  "I don’t think he’s alone." Zainab wasn’t looking at Emily. "I think he’s seeing someone."

  Emily set her jaw when Zainab looked back at her. "Once again, congratulations."

  "All I’m trying to say is... if you’re waiting on something, if you think something is going to change... don’t. Just- do whatever you have to do."

  It had made Emily blush last week to think about how he had made her feel and the things she’d told him. But not now. "He’s irrelevant."

  Zainab waited a moment. "I think he is, too. Or if he isn’t, he should be."

  Emily was going to forget all about him. "Glad we're on the same page- about him. But my Drew issue is still unresolved."

  "What are you trying to do? Write up some script that the two of you have to follow? Why don’t you just see what happens?"

  "I don’t need a script, just a map. I have to decide how far I want this to go."

  "Don’t you need to know how you feel about him first?"

  "I guess," Emily mumbled. "I guess I don’t know what I feel."

  "He is pretty cute," Zainab offered.

  "He is," Emily conceded. "Tall, blond, blue-eyed. He’s the great trifecta, right? But I think he’s a little too tall."

  "How tall are you?"

  "Five foot five."

  "How tall is he?"

  "I don’t know. He’s definitely cleared six feet. I think we might be closer to six foot three there."