Shadow's Howl

by Riley Storm

  “I know that. But why is it the right thing to do, for you? For me, it’s easy. This is my House. My home. This is my family. All I could ever want is for us to be whole and united, without an asshole at the top of it all. That’s easy and makes sense. You though…” he trailed off, taking another bit of his food. It was surprisingly delicious for Chief’s cooking.

  Had to be Sydney’s help.

  “What about me?” Jennifer asked in between her own bites.

  “You, it makes no sense for you to be here. You have no connection to us. No prior loyalties. Nothing. Nobody here knows you. All you did was show up out of nowhere and say you want to help us, at risk to your own life.”

  “Because what you’re doing matters to me,” she replied softly. “It might not matter to a lot of people, but helping your cause is what more of us should be doing. Those of us who want to see a stable, non-tyrannical person in charge of one of the most powerful groups in our world. I don’t think it’s crazy to want to support that.”

  Liam was beyond confused. Everything she was saying made sense. It was all believable. Even his gut believed her, that she was telling the truth.

  That’s where the problem lay, however, because Liam could no longer trust his gut. The instincts and things he believed it told him. It had been fooled by someone far closer to him than Jennifer was, and if that was possible, then it was completely feasible to believe she was still lying to him.

  Liam couldn’t trust anyone. Not even himself. There was no sense of deceit coming from her, but that wasn’t enough. Yes, even some of her actions seemed to speak to her telling the truth, but it could all be a ploy. She could be acting, trying to earn his trust, so her betrayal would strike deep, and at the worst possible time for the rebels.

  It was exactly the sort of plan the Tyrant King would enact, and Liam needed to stay on guard for it.

  Despite everything his instincts were telling him about her. Both his stomach, and his heart…

  17

  For the next four days, they trained as much and as often as her energy would allow them to. Jennifer learned a lot about herself and pushed her abilities beyond limits she’d never considered breaking before. She was stronger, faster with her magic, able to focus and deploy it in less time. She didn’t bother trying to teach herself how to cast new spells. Instead, they focused on using what she did know, and altering that into ways to do similar.

  It wasn’t the same as going up against another trained mage. It never could be, but she was making undeniable progress. Liam was a fierce teacher. He praised her when she succeeded and flayed her with his tongue when she didn’t. He wasn’t nice, but he was fair, with an even hand. His relentless pushing was forcing her to work harder at her magic than she had, probably since her days in the Academy.

  “More?” she asked tiredly in response to the knock at her door.

  It opened and Liam came in.

  “I’m exhausted,” she complained, but pushed herself up from the bed anyway. No point in arguing. She could sleep later. At least she’d gotten to eat, that was something on which he wouldn’t fight her. The food was necessary to keep slinging the energy around, lest she push too hard and injure herself.

  “No, we’re done with practicing for the day. I have other duties I must attend to tonight anyway. Relax, get some sleep. We’ll be back at it tomorrow.”

  Jennifer wondered briefly what his ‘other duties’ were, but exhaustion quickly wiped the curiosity away. What did she care? There was only one pressing question on her mind.

  “Why are you here, then?” she wanted to know, flopping back down onto the bed, not bothering to hide just how tired she was.

  “I need you to explain more.”

  She waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. Instead he just stared at her expectantly.

  “Right. Of course. Do you want to try elaborating? Maybe…oh I don’t know, on just what exactly I need to explain more?”

  She had an idea, but he wasn’t going to get away with speaking covertly. He had to come right out and say what he wanted.

  “Your reasons. For being here. For helping us.” Liam shrugged and sat down at the edge of the bed, his hips resting against her leg.

  For some reason, she didn’t move away.

  “Are you accusing me of lying to you?” she asked, not even bothering to include the ‘again’ at the end. They both knew it was there.

  “No.”

  She frowned at the ceiling, then sat up in the bed once more. Placing the back of her hand on his forehead, she stared into his pupils.

  “What are you doing?” Liam asked with a gentle look of confusion.

  “Checking your temperature to see if you’ve run a fever. But you seem fine. Maybe there’s something wrong with my hearing,” she muttered, tugging on her ears.

  “Very funny,” Liam said. “Real haw-haw.”

  She smiled. “So, let me get this straight. You’re not accusing me of lying…but you want me to explain more?”

  “Yes. Your reasons aren’t enough, Jen, and you know it. It’s not so simple as right versus wrong.”

  Her first instinct was to respond with a jab, an insult, but then she took note of his posture. His tone. The frown etching its way onto his face.

  “You’re serious, aren’t you?” she asked.

  “Very. I’ve given this a lot of thought over the past four days, believe it or not. Your actions, they don’t line up with what you’re saying.”

  It was her turn to frown. “How can you say that? I think I’ve demonstrated I’m willing to fight for you guys.”

  “That’s just it,” Liam explained. “Your actions indicate a desire to fight that runs deeper than a simple belief.” He smiled gently. “You’ve betrayed yourself with your dedication to helping us. There must be something more going on here, Jen. It’s time you told me the entire truth, not just the little bit you’ve been willing to share.”

  She was impressed. Liam had never given her the impression he was the type to think and rethink a situation, able to alter his judgment and decisions. But it seemed not only was he capable of reversing his opinion on something once formed, but he was capable of analyzing a situation and using that evidence to come to a conclusion.

  “I’m not sure I’m ready to answer that question,” she said quietly.

  Just because he could figure out she was hiding something, didn’t mean she was ready to share the details of it with him. After all, this was something personal for her, something she didn’t want to discuss with everyone, hence the very reason she’d not elected to share it in the first place.

  “Not a good enough answer, Jen,” Liam said softly, indicating he wasn’t going to be easily dissuaded this time. Nor, at least, was he going to get irate with her.

  “There was supposed to be more time,” she muttered to herself.

  “What?”

  “Before the Council came after me. They were supposed to take longer. The only way they could have tracked me down and sent someone after me so quickly, knowing I’d not come down sick or something, was if they were tracking me more closely from the start than I ever suspected.”

  “Uh. Okay?” Liam sounded confused. “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “Nothing. And yet everything,” she said. “I’d hoped to have longer to establish a bond with you before they came here. So that me siding with you wouldn’t seem quite so crazy. Time for trust, between us.” She snorted. “Of course, I had no idea I’d be paired with the least-trusting shifter in existence.”

  “Surprise,” he said with quiet sarcasm.

  “It also should reveal something about the Council to you,” she said, forging on, deciding how much she wanted to share as she went. “About their operations, and how much they trust others.”

  “I’m not following. I don’t know much about your inner workings,” he said, leaning back onto the bed, extending one hand into the mattress so it sandwiched her leg between his body and his arm. “
What does that have to do with you being here?”

  “It has to do with me being here, because their policies and inaction led to another mage making mistakes. Mistakes I’m here to fix.”

  Liam was still looking at her blankly. “What?”

  “Does a mage by the name of Adrian ring a bell to you?”

  The baring of teeth was all the answer she needed. It was no surprise Liam had heard of the rogue mage Adrian.

  “Far too many of our best died because of his meddling,” Liam told her, his voice tight with anger.

  His chest rose and fell with a heavier rhythm as he worked to restrain his anger, but she could see signs of it. The sleeves of his t-shirt shrank by another size. The sinews in his biceps, and shoulders, bulged with tension. The name was not a pleasant one.

  “I thought you might,” she said softly, trying not to be hurt by the reaction.

  “What a different world it would be if that asshole had succeeded,” Liam muttered, shaking his head.

  Jennifer swallowed hard, trying not to let her poker face crumble, to show the true depth of her own reaction to such visceral hate. Not that she could blame him after all.

  Adrian had left the Academy, left the Council, defying their soft-spoken wishes to remain neutral, and had gone directly to the aid of the Tyrant King, Laurien. There, at the side of the King of High House Canis, the two of them had hatched a plan to bring about the downfall of Canis’ biggest and oldest enemy, House Ursa.

  The bear shifters had dealt with their own version of the civil war currently tearing the wolves apart, and Adrian had nearly provided the nail in the coffin. The bears had been more resilient than expected, and the discovery of another mage of their own had greatly benefitted that effort.

  In the end, Adrian was hunted down and killed at the final battle, according to reports. Reports she’d had to steal from the Council, when they had tried to cover it up, denying the truth of his demise to everyone. That was when she’d first begun to doubt the Council. Maybe it was also when they first began to keep her under surveillance, who knew.

  “What Adrian did was wrong,” she said quietly. “I don’t approve of his actions, and I want to make it right.”

  “So, you came here, of your own accord, defied your own Council, just to help undo the actions of another mage who…defied the Council and came to us of his own accord?” Liam asked slowly. “Did I get that right? To make up for the wrongs he committed, you’re…committing more of the same?”

  “I’m choosing the right side,” she said fiercely. “Unlike the Council, who tacitly approved of Adrian’s actions, I believe the rebels are the ones who should be in charge. Their views of the world, of how Canis should be run, those are the ones that should govern you from now on.”

  “Well, in that we’re agreed at least,” Liam said. “But why us? Why not go to Ursa, offer them your services?”

  She snorted. “You haven’t met their Queen, have you? Kaelyn is…well…she’s all the help they need. The members of her court that she assembled to rebuild them, they’re exactly what Ursa needs. Not a reminder of the past.”

  “I haven’t met her, no,” Liam confirmed. “But I’ve heard similar endorsements of her.”

  “So now I’m here. With you, the rebels. The people anyone else out there should want in charge of House Canis. With House Draconis no longer relevant, you and Ursa are the two strongest powers in our world. We need you to be whole and ruling with a steady hand.”

  She glared at him, challenging Liam to doubt her. “Is that reason enough for you?”

  To her surprise, he laughed. Almost immediately, he fought it back, but he was nodding. That too was a surprise. Maybe she’d finally earned his trust. Could it really be that Liam, of all people, finally believed something she said? Jennifer started to relax ever so slightly, letting herself bask in the moment.

  “That’s reason enough,” Liam said. “For me.”

  For him?

  “But I’m not the one in charge.”

  Oh.

  18

  He left Jennifer behind, descending the stairs to the main level with an odd feeling in his chest.

  Was it satisfaction? She’d finally opened up to him, telling him more of her reasoning for being there. Things were finally beginning to make a bit more sense. He’d never bought her initial line as being the only reason. It was too vague, and she didn’t spout anything else about ideological purity for him to think it was some sort of inbred trait to her, that she ‘must always do what is right’.

  As he thought it over, however, Liam concluded that, while he was satisfied with her answer, a feeling most unusual for him lately, it wasn’t the cause of the slight tightness in his chest. That felt more like…like…

  Longing.

  For what, though? For Jennifer? That was…preposterous. Wasn’t it? It was no secret he found her attractive, that her body ignited a fire in him he’d yet to be able to quench. The kiss they’d shared in the field after the mage fight had left him craving more.

  For four days now, he’d worked in close quarters with her, and for four days, he’d had to restrain himself, prevent his animal side from acting on the urges it filled him with. Urges to get close to her, to run his hands across her body, feeling her skin pressed against his own. To take her…make her his.

  “Stop it,” he hissed.

  “Yes sir. Right away, sir. Sorry, sir.”

  He looked up to see Logan standing at the bottom of the staircase.

  “Every okay, Liam?” the head of the rebellion wanted to know.

  “Yeah. Just dandy,” he said, lying through his teeth.

  Logan lifted his eyebrows slightly, indicating he knew Liam was full of shit, but he didn’t press the issue. Not that issue, at least. “Well, if you’re done discussing things with yourself, shall we?”

  “Of course.” Liam followed the rebel alpha into his office, closing the door behind him.

  Logan wasted no time, something Liam greatly appreciated about the leader. “Well, what did she say?”

  His trip to grill Jennifer more hadn’t been entirely self-motivated. As he’d told her, he wasn’t the only one she had to convince of her reasons for being with the rebellion. Although Logan had taken her offer for help, that wasn’t to say he’d automatically trusted her either. So, when Liam had explained to his boss Jennifer’s reasons for being there, Logan had told him to dig deeper.

  It was reasons like that, why Liam stuck around the rebellion. Logan was a good leader. Trust was something that would take time to form, but he believed Logan was someone he could one day come to trust.

  “She said she’s here because of the damage Adrian did to the House. She wants to atone for his actions as best she can, and figures, with Ursa being all happy and unified again, that helping us in our fight is the best way of doing that.”

  Logan sat down behind his desk, motioning for Liam to take one of the chairs opposite him. “She did, did she? Well, that does make more sense, I guess. Do you think that’s it?”

  “No,” Liam said without hesitation. “There’s still more. She hid it well, but when I made a remark about my feelings toward Adrian, she had a reaction. Not sure over what, but there’s something there.”

  “Very well. Keep at it, find it out.”

  “Of course.” Liam went to go stand up, assuming he was being dismissed.

  “Tell me about the fight in the kitchen, Liam.”

  He sat back down abruptly. “I thought you knew all about that. You came out into the field to ask her if she truly had no combat magic.”

  “That’s not what I’m asking about. You defended her. Cold-cocked one of the guys, as I understand it.”

  “So? You told me to be her guard, escort, etc. I guarded her.” Liam was confused. What was Logan getting at?”

  “There was no other reason behind it?”

  “Just spit out whatever you’re getting at, Logan. I’m not going to play games.” He crossed his arms, leaning back
in the chair.

  “I expected more resistance from you, is all. It seems like the two of you are fast becoming a team, at least if the word I hear around the farm is to be trusted at all.”

  Liam snorted.

  “Yes, I know. I used the T-word. I know it’s not something you’re comfortable saying.”

  “That’s not true. I trust you,” he said.

  Logan mimicked his snort from a moment ago. “Right. Maybe to a tiny point. You’ve been very vocal over the past three months or so, about wanting to know all the reasons behind my decisions. Heck, you’ve even almost challenged me outright a few times. That doesn’t seem very trusting in my book.”

  Liam was silent. He didn’t have a response to that. Not right away at least.

  “Maybe you’re right,” he said after a moment. “I’m just…”

  “You’re hurting,” Logan said with uncharacteristic softness. “It’s okay to admit it.”

  Liam compressed his lips into a thin line, staring hard at the desk. Maybe it was okay to admit it. Maybe it wasn’t. He’d been conditioned growing up that his problems were his business. Not to share them, to put the burden on others. Logan was here, taking the initiative, extending him that opener, but Liam wasn’t sure he could take it.

  “I would be too in your situation,” Logan said, moving on after a moment, sensing Liam wasn’t going to open up to him.

  Probably accurate.

  “But,” the rebel alpha continued, “You need to separate the hurt from what happened to you, with your inability to trust. I need you two to work together. Completely. That means you need to get to the point where you can trust her.”

  “How do you expect me to do that?” Liam wanted to know. “She’s starting to reveal more, but it’s obvious she still isn’t sharing everything. How am I supposed to know, that at the turning point, when things get tough, or dangerous, or something comes up, that she won’t go off on her own, leaving us high and dry?”

  Logan smiled. “That’s what trust is, Liam. That’s why you need to build some with her. Try getting to know her better. Spend more time with her. Extend her some trust, and then watch what happens. It’s a two-way street. Give to get, etcetera.”