Shadow's Howl

by Riley Storm

  Jennifer blinked. “That’s it?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well. What about, you know…you.” She was fidgeting now too, her nerves visible to the naked eye at this point.

  “Me?”

  “What about us?” she asked with just a hint of exasperation.

  Liam froze. That was the first open acknowledgement either of them had made about the developing…whatever it was, between them. Yes, he’d talked to Chloe and Alison about what it was like to be mated, to know someone was your mate, but he’d never said a word of that to Jennifer.

  Now she wanted to know if “they” were okay. But what were they?

  A large part of him urged Liam to have that talk. To lay everything out right then and there. To acknowledge that, yes, maybe there were feelings between them. That maybe they were…were…he couldn’t even think of the word.

  But then he remembered the way she’d looked at him earlier, and suddenly he wasn’t ready to have that conversation. Not yet.

  “I accept your apology,” he said quietly. “But I’m not quite ready to forgive you. That…hurt, and even if you’re telling the truth, I can’t just magic that hurt away.”

  That was mostly the truth of it all. On some level, maybe he should be able to let his hurt fade some more, but the idea of extending his full trust just now was not something he was willing to entertain.

  “I understand. Maybe…maybe after?”

  He knew she meant after the attack. Assuming they both survived it, and the Manor was liberated. Why would there be an after though? She would have fulfilled her desire to do the right thing, to atone for that other mage, and then she would be gone.

  “You’ll be back at the Academy then,” he said, stating the obvious out loud. “We won’t be living the same life. So…maybe it would be best if we didn’t?”

  He’d expected several different reactions from Jennifer based on his words. Sadness was a big one. That was mostly what he’d prepared for. Perhaps shock.

  What he got was a fiery incandescent rage flung at him with full force.

  “Are you fucking stupid?” Jennifer raged. “Seriously? I burned that bridge, Liam. Burned it down to cinders, you arrogant oaf! My job, my life, my past. That is all gone now. There is no going back. No desk job awaiting me, no classroom on hold until I do this one little thing. I will never be allowed back. There’s nowhere I can go back to!”

  She looked away, and he cursed himself for his idiocy. Of course, that wasn’t how it was going to go down. He knew that. Would have known that if he’d just thought of her, instead of himself.

  “All I have is here,” she said softly, waving at the house. “And I’d thought, here.”

  He winced as she pointed at him and then herself.

  Liam, you are a Grade-A imbecile. Moron. Idiot.

  Not once had he considered things from her point of view. Of what Jennifer must have gone through, must be going through, just to be here, to fight at the side of him and his brothers. She was risking everything for this, and he couldn’t risk opening up to her?

  Coward.

  “It must have been scary, putting yourself out there like that,” he said softly. “With us…with me. Not knowing if you would be accepted or rejected, and yet having to face the consequences either way.”

  “It was,” she said quietly. “But I’d do it again. With both.”

  He searched her eyes for understanding. “Why?”

  “Because,” Jennifer said, moving her hand, slowly opening a new tear in reality, a new portal. “I wouldn’t want any regrets.” She turned to go.

  “Wait,” he said, getting to his feet. “Where are you going?”

  “To practice.”

  28

  “Back in the old practice field.”

  Jennifer looked around at the empty brown field. She couldn’t make out the color of the barren dirt around her of course, but she’d spent enough time out here to know almost every divot and bump by rote memory.

  Not actually, of course, but it felt like it. She’d only been gone for two days as well. It hadn’t been that long.

  But tonight was different. Tonight, she was going to work on the other spell. That one, she couldn’t practice on anything or anyone. There would only be one shot at casting it, and she needed to ensure it was perfect. Thankfully, this spell came much easier to her, though she had never been sure why.

  But she’d always been afraid to ramp up the power, to truly cast it. There was a lot of temptation with it, but she couldn’t hide behind her fears. Not anymore.

  Looking up, she took in the stars, watching them twinkle. Thousands, tens of thousands of star systems out there. Each of them with worlds. Some of them with worlds that, by sheer mathematics, must be teeming with life.

  The galaxy was huge, the universe even bigger. All around her, there was the power of creation. It was why she’d chosen to focus her learning on that path, to understand the magic of creation. Of life. It was the most powerful, but also the most difficult to master.

  Closing her eyes, Jennifer stopped questing out with her sight, and reached out with her magic; she was feeling for life, for creation, for the insects and beetles in the ground below her, a horned owl swooping through the sky half a mile to her right. For a mother hare and her young. A groundhog. Two voles. Plants. Farther out, a forest and trees, decades old and still mighty and reaching for the stars.

  Jennifer called on them and more, drawing magic into her, inspired by their examples. She opened herself up, arms spread wide, welcoming the energy. Pulling it in, she focused her mind on what she wanted to achieve. The magic bent to her will but slowly. Too slowly. Strengthening her will, Jennifer projected an image of what she wanted, of what the spell should accomplish.

  Power crackled in her veins and her hair bounced with static electricity. She kept feeding more into the spell, picturing the magic. Bringing her hands together, she willed it into existence in front of her. Though her eyes were still closed, she saw light blossom behind the eyelids, revealing itself to be a giant ball of green energy in front of her. It was alive.

  Jennifer’s lips twitched ever so slightly. She’d never pushed this much into any spell before. Ever. She needed to, however, to prove she could take down the defenses of Moonshadow Manor and help the wolf shifter rebels retake their home.

  To help Liam.

  Focus. You mustn’t let your concentration waver. Not with a spell like this. One that is alive.

  Jennifer was ready now, to cast it. With one last burst of power, she flung the spell out into the field. The ball of green soared through the air, and she waited for it to come down.

  And waited.

  And waited.

  “Uh oh.”

  It just hovered in the air above the empty patch of ground that she’d designated as the target. Reaching out for the spell, to command it to obey her, Jennifer was shocked when she was mentally slapped back.

  The spell burst into a brighter light, expanding in size. This wasn’t what she wanted it to do.

  “Shit.”

  Focusing her mind, snatching up her willpower and reshaping it, Jennifer tried to re-exert control of the spell. To command it to burst. To dissipate. Anything. But she was rebuffed. The spell was too full of life. It was taking on a primitive mind of its own, tasked with its own self-preservation. It didn’t want to do what it was designed for.

  Jennifer had never heard of such a thing. She wrestled with it, trying to pull magic back. To take it within her. The brilliant ball of energy rebuffed her every try, and finally it began to float away.

  “Oh no you don’t,” she said, running after it, keeping it close.

  Reaching out, she slapped it with a bit of red fire magic. The spell didn’t like that. It didn’t like that one bit. It halted and she felt the very rudimentary presence within focus on her.

  “That’s right. Keep your attention here while I figure out how to stop you.”

  And stop it she wo
uld. Jennifer was confident of that. She was the only one out here, and therefore the only one who could get hurt.

  “Jen?”

  A new figure entered the circle of light emitted by the sphere. She groaned.

  “What are you doing here?” she shouted as the spell expanded in size, spinning faster and faster.

  It started picking up particles of dirt and debris, swirling them around like a whirlwind of magical destruction.

  “I came to watch you. To…support you,” he called. “What is this?”

  “Uh, nothing,” she yelped. “It’s nothing. You can go back now. Go to bed. Yup, go to bed.”

  The spell reached out for Jennifer, but she pushed raw red magic into a circular pattern in front of her. The green tentacle hit the barrier and recoiled. Then it reached out harder and punched her shield.

  The impact flung her backward. She landed with a groan and rolled several times.

  “Jen!”

  “No! Liam!” she screamed, but it was too late.

  He pulled out a knife and charged the spell. For a brief moment, she thought him naïve, but then she saw the glint of the knife in his hand, and the dark line down the center.

  Uranium. That’s a uranium-enriched blade.

  The radiation it spewed would cut through the spell like butter. Hopefully? She’d never dealt with a magic…monster? Elemental? That felt better, she’d never dealt with a magic elemental before, and had no idea what it would take to get rid of it.

  The will of the spell saw or sensed Liam’s attack, and a second tentacle whipped out and hit him from the side. He roared as it came in and sliced at the magic, sending him tumbling away.

  The tentacle exploded in a spray of green mist that quickly evaporated, but the damage was done. Liam was on the ground, and the knife disappeared into the darkness, knocked free of his hand.

  Jennifer got to her feet, wiping her palms, and squared off against the spell. It continued on toward Liam, who was just getting his senses back.

  “Hey!” she shouted. “Over here!”

  The spell kept on going.

  Jennifer hit it with a spike of red magic. The spell shrugged it off. She tried one of green, pure energy. The spell just absorbed it and grew larger.

  “Whoops.”

  If she didn’t act soon, Liam would be swept up in the spell, and more than likely killed. She’d put a lot of power into it. It was meant to tear apart the wards surrounding Moonshadow Manor, and they were made of much sterner stuff than Liam’s merely physical body, despite his impressive raw strength.

  There was only one option available to her if she wanted to save him.

  Deep within her, something dark came to life with that thought. Closing her eyes, Jennifer reached deep into herself, into a part of her mind and soul she’d always sworn she never would.

  Power waited for her there. Power that was the antithesis of the spell she’d created. Power that would allow her to save Liam, and to stop the monster she’d created.

  But at what cost?

  It doesn’t matter. Any cost is enough, if it saves someone else.

  Jennifer reached out and took the power. It flooded her body, blasting away the weakened fatigue she hadn’t even realized she’d been feeling. It filled every artery, vein and blood cell. Her fingertips began to glow. Her hair too, she realized as a few stray strands whipped across her face.

  The wind wasn’t from the spell this time. It was from her.

  Jennifer whistled at the spell. “I’m not done with you!” she shouted, projecting her intentions with the energy coursing through her body.

  The magic elemental spun with unnerving speed.

  “Jennifer! Don’t do this!” Liam gasped, pushing himself up onto all fours. “You don’t have to!”

  “This is my fault,” she replied, forced to raise her voice over the howl of energy filling her body. “I will fix this. It’s my job.”

  The elemental charged at her, and Jennifer went to meet it. As she ran, a corona of blue energy filled the air around her. The wind rose and her voice lifted to a shriek to meet it.

  Lifting from the ground, she flung herself up and into the ball of energy.

  Blue met green, and then there was nothing but white.

  When her vision returned, she was lying on the ground on her back, with an anxious-looking Liam hovering over her.

  “You’re bleeding!” she gasped, struggling to sit up, horrified at the sight of his burnt flesh.

  “What?” he looked momentarily stunned, then shook his head, little droplets falling away. “I’m fine. What about you?”

  Jennifer wanted to reach out, to touch him, to check he truly wasn’t hurt worse than he claimed. But when she lifted her hand, a spark of blue light jumped between her fingers, and she immediately yanked it away.

  “No, don’t,” she said, scooting back across the field when Liam’s hand came near. “You can’t touch me. There might be leftover. It could kill you.”

  She got to her feet, wobbly, but able to stand. The blast didn’t seem to have left her any worse for wear, which may have been more terrifying than suffering hurt from it. Just what had she done to herself, and how had she defeated it and come away unscathed?

  There were too many questions, and she had no answers.

  “This was a mistake,” she said, looking around. “I shouldn’t have come back. I should have stayed away. You can’t count on me to do this, you were right, Liam. I was wrong.”

  The air in front of her blurred as she split it open, creating a portal that would take her away. Away from the field, away from Liam and the shifters. Somewhere she would be safe, and they would be safe from her.

  “Goodbye.”

  She stepped through the opening.

  Or tried to. A hand on her shoulder stopped her cold, the grip so strong she couldn’t shake it.

  “No.”

  29

  “Not this time, Jennifer.”

  “Release me.”

  Liam shook his head. “No. Not. This. Time.”

  “What do you mean not this time?” she asked, still facing the opening.

  “I’m not allowing it. You’re not going to run away this time.”

  “I’m not running away.”

  He looked skyward. “Then why are you still trying to go through your portal, to somewhere I can’t follow, while the entire time saying we can’t count on you to do this? What would you classify that as, then?”

  “Admitting the truth?”

  “The truth,” he echoed. “Now there’s something I wouldn’t mind hearing. The real truth. The entire truth, no deliberately omitted bits of information, nothing hidden. The plain old blunt truth. Please, admit that to me,” he finished with a growl.

  “What are you talking about?”

  But he could hear it in her voice. She knew what he meant.

  “Let me spell it out for you. Whatever it is you’re still hiding. Your secret, about your involvement, about where the heck you summoned blue magic from. That is what you’re running away from. But no more, I say. After what I just saw, you owe me an explanation, if nothing more.”

  “I owe you an explanation? I saved your life!”

  He snorted, and with a quick move picked Jennifer up and turned them one-eighty, so he was now between her and the portal. She rolled her eyes, flicking her hand at the air behind him, closing it with a pop.

  “You aren’t letting me go, are you?”

  “No. Because I know this is weighing on you heavily. It’s causing you to take rash action, and to think you need to run, when what you really need is to confront this, head on. Tackle it and deal with it.” He softened. “Let me help you, Jen. I want to help.”

  She shook head. “No.”

  “Yes,” he countered stubbornly. “Stop acting like this is all about you feeling guilty over what some rogue mage did. This is more than that. Just tell me. Let me be there for you.”

  “Be there for me,” she echoed softly, shaking her
head. “Do you hear yourself?”

  “Yes. I do. Now tell me,” he said, injecting a bit of steel into his voice.

  Jennifer eye’s opened wide, her nostrils flaring briefly. “And if I don’t?” she challenged.

  Shrugging, he pointed a finger at her. “Then you aren’t the person I believe you to be.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “Seriously?” Jennifer looked around them wildly. “After all this? After everything you just saw happen tonight, how I almost killed us both, almost killed everyone else. After all that, you still believe in me?”

  “Yes,” he said without hesitation. “Absolutely. Completely. Thoroughly. Maybe more than before.”

  “B-but…but. That doesn’t make any sense? How can you still believe in me after I nearly screwed it all up and killed everyone? That’s…that’s…insane! There’s no logical reason for you to trust me.”

  “I agree.”

  Jennifer blinked, staring at him with even more confusion. That was okay, Liam was thoroughly confusing himself as well. Every word he was speaking felt right, as if that’s what he wanted to be saying. But it wasn’t…him. He wasn’t thinking logically, rationally. He wasn’t being impartial.

  He was going with his gut. Speaking with what his instincts were telling him to.

  “You agree?” Jennifer finally managed to get out. “So, you’re insane then. That’s what you’re telling me?”

  “No. I’m just going with what my gut tells me. There doesn’t have to be a rational reason for me to trust you. But I do, and I know, I just know, in here,” he said, tapping his chest. “That doing that, is the right thing.”

  “You’re going to have to do better than that to convince me,” Jennifer said. “Why do you trust me?”

  Liam thought about that one. Took his time. Not only for Jennifer’s sake, but for his own. What was it he’d seen tonight, that made him willing to trust her so implicitly? There was something that had changed about her… Something different.

  “Ah,” he said out loud as it came to him.

  “Ah? Ah what?” she wanted to know, crossing her arms, looking insecure and nervous about the entire thing.

  Liam wanted to hold her, to touch her, but he knew now wasn’t the right time. Stopping her from going through the portal was one thing but reaching out to hug her was something else entirely. He didn’t want to watch her scurry away from him again. That wasn’t a great feeling.